I remember when they first gave me this. In hindsight it was a sign they'd given up on me. It itches, it looks ridiculous, the logical conclusion to the entrance would be to throw it into the crowd but apparently that's 'John's thing' so a mere diva isn't allowed to do it. God forbid I remind the fans that I exist. I've been here five years and most of them scarcely know who I am. Guess I'm a face this week, though expect that all to change the second Kaitlyn needs an opponent who won't botch the shit out of 90% of her offense. And to think I just took it, 'just keep smiling, Alicia, your time will come. Think of all the hundreds and thousands of girls out there who would kill to be doing what you're doing.' At least these days being given so little to do means no one's noticed me ceasing to care.
Nope, they're not here to see me. It's AJ Lee vs Opponent of AJ Lee. What do they like about her so much? Yeah I get it, the whole 'girl next door' thing, that when a famous woman is gawky and simpering and grateful enough for the attention that she might actually let you fuck her it increases her attractiveness tenfold. But seriously, look at her. And then look at me. Who looks more like the star? And yet, who's been given more opportunities in the last twelve months than I and every other girl here have been given in our whole careers? What happened to sticking around, paying your dues, waiting your turn?
Who am I kidding? My hatred for AJ has nothing to do with who did or didn't get a push. It's thanks to her that those sort of things are too trivial and incidental to matter. Who cares whether or not you get on TV when you're fighting a daily running battle to preserve your sanity and will to live? I can't believe she thinks I've just shrugged it all off. That I've just accepted she's hijacked the life that should be mine.
Here she comes, skipping, smiling, taking twice as long as me because she's allowed to. Look at them ogling her on the front row. I guess they like them ratfaced and rackless in Oklahoma. Little do you suspect, oh pathetic one, you won't be leaving here upright. Any remaining desire I had to pass up on this opportunity to break you evaporated a few minutes ago. The only question now is which limb to snap first.
AJ was deeply immersed in character as she glanced across the ring to Alicia, perching coquettishly on the middle rope and shooting the Floridian a smile of malevolence and faux-innocence. However, it was taking more resolve than normal to remain in 'black widow' mode this evening. This match and the road agent meeting that had preceded it had been the only time she and Alicia had interacted since that fateful night in St Louis, when AJ's ruinous guilt forced her into revealing the truth about her involvement with Wade. The meeting was less awkward than expected; Alicia had been somewhat guarded, but still perfectly compliant and personable and they were able to quickly work through their match and go their separate ways until showtime. Still, AJ wondered what hurt remained behind the exterior of placid professionalism, and while she no longer had any question as to her and Wade's right to be together, the idea that Alicia continued to be tormented by her happiness frequently came back to plague her. These were not circumstances conducive to giving good show, and this was one match she couldn't wait to be over.
The bell rang and the opening minutes played out as planned: AJ cycled through some characteristic mind-game spots, skipping around Alicia then surprising her with a heel kick, and jumping gleefully into her arms only to drop down into a DDT to give her early control. From here, Alicia was to battle back only for AJ to take advantage of Big E's ringside distraction to roll her up for the win. But when the time came for the tide to turn, it slowly began to dawn upon AJ that her opponent was not prepared to stick to script.
First came the Northern lights suplex; it was bone-jarringly hard, but these things happened from time to time. AJ made sure to tap discreetly on Alicia's arm as she kicked out to indicate she would need a moment of recuperation before they moved on to the next spot. Alicia dutifully rolled onto her front on the other side of the ring, and AJ took the opportunity to zone out and recharge. All of a sudden a sharp thud to her ribcage had her yelping with shock and pain, her protestations for Alicia to wait a few seconds longer fell on deaf ears, drowned out by vigorous grunting. She'd never heard Alicia make such a noise before, with all due respect she hadn't thought her capable of simulating that level of rage and intensity. But with the severity of the strikes and her refusal to relent despite AJ's obvious discomfort, was she simulating anymore?
Finally Alicia backed off and AJ was able to pull herself back to her feet with the aid of the ropes, but no sooner had she established her balance she turned around into a vicious dropkick that sent her sprawling across the ring. She came to rest in the far corner where Big E had taken up residence.
"Did you plan for shit to get this brutal?" he questioned anxiously under the guise of offering her a pep talk.
"I'm getting a little scared, E, I don't know what's she's..." all of a sudden AJ found herself being dragged from the friendly corner back to the centre of the ring, Alicia clamping on a sleeper hold about as tightly as she possibly could whilst giving AJ the minimum of leeway around her throat required for her to be able to speak or breath. This couldn't go on any longer, she needed to communicate with Alicia that it was time to slow down. She hoped that it was just carelessness on her opponent's part and there was no malicious intent. But if things had taken a turn for the shoot, then what? She supposed it wouldn't be the end of the world if she ran away in the middle of a non-televised match, in fact it may even be rather fitting for her character. But things hadn't become that desperate yet.
"Alicia... could you go a little softer, please? That suplex really hurt my back," she murmured discreetly, mouth hidden by her hair.
"So no back bumps? Got it," Alicia replied calmly. AJ sighed with relief. All just a misunderstanding. Trust her paranoia to inflate it into something more. How ridiculous. Alicia wasn't a psychopath, she'd never before tried to deliberately hurt her, why start now in front of thousands of witnesses? Then Alicia's arms scooped around her hips and whether she wanted to or not AJ was hoisted horizontally off the ground. This looked worryingly like the set up for...
"Please, no..." she whimpered, looking up at her assailant, eyes wide with terror, hoping for some degree of conscience to take hold in Alicia's mind at this sight. Alicia merely nodded and smiled. An unholy, ruthless smile that in one small gesture caused AJ to rethink all she thought she knew about Alicia Fox.
As the knee thundered into the middle of her spine, the pain was intense as any she'd experienced in the ring prior to her wrist-break. She was choking back tears as Alicia re-applied the sleeper, part due to the agony, and part in petrified realisation that the fight she was in was now very real. She gasped, kicked her legs, readied her lungs to scream for help; to Big E, to the referee, to anyone, but before she could get a word out the grip tightened on her throat.
"Breath a word to them and I could kill you before they'd even know what to do," Alicia hissed, with enough unhinged malice that AJ didn't doubt the truth of the statement for a second.
"Why are you doing this?" AJ rasped as Alicia finally slackened her hold.
It took the slither of restraint that remained within Alicia not to strangle the girl there and then. That she had the temerity, the shortsightedness to ask such a question. It really would be no great loss to the world if she really did kill her.
"Why? Why do you think?" she panted heavily.
"Because you don't deserve a thing that you have. Your career, your friends, your family, your perfect fucking boyfriend. What have you done to earn that? Huh? Nothing? What have I done to become who I've become? I'm not enjoying this, you know? I'm doing it because I have to. You've got away with this too long. How have you managed it, how?"
"Please! I don't know what you're..."
As AJ protested and continued to struggle, a glint of metallic light drew Alicia's eyes to her opponent's right wrist, where a bracelet had slipped down from beneath the Dolph Ziggler-branded sweatband. A gold bracelet. Delicate, ornate, finely-engraved and beautiful. A gift of true love if Alicia ever saw one. A gift the like of which she herself had never received.
"How have you got him to love you so much? What is it about you? You're no one. No one! Well let me tell you, sweetheart, he couldn't possibly love you as much as I hate you. You asked for this. You ruined my life. You snivelling, sheltered, pathetic, drippy, dowdy, smug, stupid, spoilt little brat!"
At her final insult AJ burst into tears, the instinctual shock of which caused Alicia to momentarily loosen her clutches. Before she knew it the smaller woman was crawling frantically across the ring, making near-incomprehensible pleas for assistance. She wasn't getting away this easily. Alicia pounced upon her, making sure to drive her knees into the same spot on AJ's back that she had already heaped punishment upon. She couldn't get the image of the bracelet out of her head. All that time, that dedication, that love wasted on that feeble little girl. She'd given enough love in her time to more than warrant something so lovely and symbolic. No one had tried harder to be loved than her. Surely she wasn't the only one who could see the injustice here. She wasn't doing anything wrong. She was setting the balance right.
AJ continued to sob. If she expected this to illicit some sympathy from Alicia she was proving herself more idiotic still. The crowd was coming to life with panic, confusion and in some cases glee as they sought to comprehend what was happening, whether they were witnessing a thespian display for the ages or the real-life meltdown of an extremely troubled young woman.
Snatching fistfuls of AJ's hair, Alicia began began pounding her head barbarously into the mat as if she were trying to crack open a coconut, her voice reaching a blood-curdling growl that she never would have believed herself even capable of a year ago.
"Don't cry, little AJ! It's OK, poppet! Soon you can go home to your perfect life! If I let you. But you can bet most of your blood won't be going with you. Not so cute now, are you? Do you think Wadey will still love you with that button nose split in two? Or with only one eye? No teeth? What ab..."
Alicia found herself being elevated further and further away from her target. A booming, irate voice soon clued her in on the source of the intrusion.
"What the fuck has happened to you? You're going to fucking kill her!" Big E bellowed, clamping his mammoth arms around Alicia's waist as she vainly flailed her arms and legs. The referee swooped down between them, flitting frantically between checking on AJ and making sure Big E had Alicia restrained.
Time seemed to slow down, it was as if Alicia's insurmountable determination to leave a decisive blow on her prey fine-tuned her timing and co-ordination. She saw AJ begin to find her feet, any second her sense of danger would bite again and she'd flee the ring, to the safety of backstage, of Wade, and there was all likelihood Alicia would never be allowed near her ever again. This was the last chance. A well-timed back-swing of her boot made contact with Big E's groin. Her feet landed back on the canvas just as AJ reached the perfect prone position on all fours. Alicia broke into a gut-busting sprint and leaped over the crouching official before he had chance to react. One leg cleaved thin air, but the other struck like a harpoon into the back of AJ's neck. The crowd gasped in horror her body splintered onto the mat face-first, the impact forcing her neck to crank 90 degrees at sickening velocity.
Alicia fell to her knees, her face twitching furiously. There was no expression that could possibly convey how she felt. AJ's eyes were closed, the blood trickled down. The sobs were gone. Any sign of life was gone. She'd silenced her at last.