Aaron sat taught with his phone pressed against his ear; he was taking a call from Doctor Malcolm and was relieved that he could be seen this afternoon, "two-thirty this afternoon, I can make then." The Doctor was being vague but he did let on that he'd spoken to his GP in Dubai and they did have some options for him.

"I just want to make sure that you bring a next of kin with you, someone needs to know what's going." Aaron had taken a deep breath and then casually replied that this was no problem and actually it wasn't because he'd already done the hardest part – everyone now knew.

"See you later."

"Thanks."

Aaron hung up and leaned his head back against the wooden building, closing his eyes, it was really pleasant and peaceful and the sun was uncharacteristically hot even for Yorkshire in August. He was down by the Pavilion, no one was playing cricket today and he had the place to himself, Aaron used to always come down here to get away from at all and he was pleased to find the same respite. Mostly it gave him the chance to recover from his encounter earlier, which could have gone a lot worse, Paddy and Cain at least seemed to take it in their stride, his mother on the other hand was in shock. After the initial heated exchange she'd barely said a word and even when Aaron had left them to have a lie down she barely acknowledged him leave the room. He hoped more than anything that this would make her see that she needed to calm down and realise that this doesn't need to be an issue.

Aaron kept his eyes closed, he'd not managed to get comfortable in his room and so decided to take a walk and get some air, this was how he'd ended up here. He tilted his head towards the sun and felt the rays filter through his eye lids, there was nowhere in Dubai that brought him as much calm as this place did – this was his spot.

"Hay."

The calm was instantly disrupted by the shadow that fell across his face, blocking the sun, Aaron knew who it was immediately but considering the alternatives he didn't mind.

"Adam," he responded in greeting as he opened his eyes.

"You alright?" Aaron just nodded, he could tell by the look on Adam's face that he'd been filled in.

"Just been round yours, looking for you."

Aaron snorted humourlessly, "bet Mum freaked out when she realised I wasn't there."

Adam squinted, "A bit," he then held up a carrier bag that Aaron hadn't noticed he'd been holding, "she said to give you this." Adam threw the bag into his lap and settled next to Aaron on the step, inside was a foil parcel, he unwrapped the contents to find bacon sandwiches, "apparently you haven't had any breakfast this morning".

Aaron shook his head, amused and maybe a little annoyed, he looked up to find Adam studying him intently, "send you out to look for me did she?"

"No," Adam reached into the bag, there was a flask of tea in there as well but he ignored it in favour for one of the sandwiches, "I wanted to see you and there wasn't much looking cause I already knew where you'd be."

"That predictable am I?"

Adam took a bite and talked around his mouthful, "Yep, there's always been one of two places that you go after a run in with your Mum," he swallowed and then reached for the flask and Aaron just watched him amused as he helped himself. "First - Jackson," Aaron ducked his head at his friends comment, "but I saw him with Joe, driving off. So that means you were gonna be here."

"Right."

He watched Adam grin, obnoxiously proud of himself that he could read his friend so well but then the smug expression slipped from Adam's face and he suddenly looked thoughtful. He gently elbowed Aaron, "you should have told us," he caught Aaron's eye, "but I completely understand why you didn't."

Aaron nodded and dropped his head slightly, "thanks."

"Eat your sandwiches."

"Yes Mum."

They sat in companionable silence, Adam throwing stones and Aaron chewing on the food, eventually Adam laid back and rested his arms behind his head, "wish it was as hot as this all year round – I'd have a tan like yours then."

Aaron just snorted and threw the birds the last of his crumbs, "It's not like you can walk around topless their strict about that out there, we have a private roof court bit but I'm not really into sunbathing so my white bits are ridiculous – you should see my arse!"

"No thanks!" and then Aaron realised what he'd just said and started laughing and then Adam joined in, it probably wasn't even that funny but it took some time for the pair of them to calm down. This was what he'd needed more than anything, someone who know what was going on but didn't treat him any differently, someone he could laugh with.

"Adam?"

His mate curled towards him, "yeah."

Aaron started playing with the material of his own trousers, he paused for a second, "Mum told you I'm getting sick because of the medication didn't she?" of cause she had, he wasn't even sure why he was bothering to clarify that.

"Yeah," his friend sat up and a serious look graced his features.

"Well I went to the hospital yesterday about it and the doctor wants me to come back this afternoon to change it."

"Ok."

"Only I need a next of kin."

Adam didn't say a word, immediately understanding what was being asked of him, "what about your Mum or Paddy?"

"I didn't tell them," Aaron felt quite small in that moment, he'd not meant to leave that part out but the conversation had been so heavy already that he'd just wanted to retreat from the room as quick as he could.

He watched Adam scratched just above his eyebrow, "I'll come with you mate, of cause I will," Aaron sensed a 'but', "great," he responded.

"but," Aaron knew it, "all this sneaking around and keeping secrets, I get why you're doing it, I get that you don't want the fuss and you want to prove that you're ok." Aaron nodded. "Can't you see though that it's completely counterproductive? You want to be independent, you want to be seen as an adult – well maybe being upfront is the way to go about it, be mature – don't run away for once?"

Aaron glared at him uneasily out of the corner of his eye, he hated it when Adam came over all common sense, he licked his lips, "since when have you used big words like counterproductive?"

Adam just grinned at him.

Inside the woolpack, his mother was once again sat in the living room, she looked up upon his entrance and gave a small unsteady smile. She was sipping on a cup of tea and sat at the table, Aaron dropped the empty flask on the surface and shoved his hands into his pockets, "thanks for breakfast."

Chastity just smiled at him, she still looked as if she was going to burst into tears, "and I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I was going for a walk." Immediately her brows rose at his apology, it was probably the last thing she'd expected him to confess. "Thanks."

Aaron stayed there awkwardly and then didn't have a clue what to do for the best; really he couldn't cope with the aghast look that now seemed to live on his mother's face. She'd always worn that expression when he was at his worse and Aaron hated the idea that he was making her miserable. He didn't know what to say though to make her understand, he'd never been great with words – mostly he'd always just avoided situations, Adam's comment sounded in his head 'don't run away for once'. He looked at his mother for a moment, trying to desperately form a sentence that would make it all ok, but he struggled and so instead shrugged, "I'll be upstairs if you want me."

"Aaron wait."

He froze and watched her take some deep breaths, "I know I can be a nightmare." Aaron didn't respond, he just dropped his head, Chastity went silent and then suddenly spoke, "just that there are things that parents kind of expect." She waited and the gently kicked out the opposite chair and gestured for Aaron to sit; he cautiously took it, not having a clue where this was going and then slowly rose his eyes to meet his mothers.

"You know, like high school exams, first girlfriends," a small smile jumped to her lips, "or boyfriends." Aaron just shifted uncomfortably, "arguments about messy rooms and then as your kid gets older, it's the moment he moves out or gets that amazing new job."

Aaron didn't speak, he just laced his fingers together on the table top, "but I didn't get that," she spoke carefully; "I got to come running up the garage drive to find you unconscious after inhaling car fumes, then sit there with you for two days with you in a coma." He licked his lips and shook his head minutely and his mother sniffed loudly before continuing, "then the next year I stood, after the overdose at the foot of the bed as tubes were forced down your throat to make you vomit." She looked at him, and had to lower her eyes and hold her breath, Aaron could see the tears form, "And then you ran away to London to be with Jackson and when I turned up at the hospital, you'd lost so much blood." A tear trailed down her cheek, "and then… and then," Aaron wasn't sure she could continue. "And then I walked in on you having a blood transfusion, and you were completely out of control," her voiced cracked and she openly started crying, "they'd had to sedate you…"

Immediately he reached across the table to grab his mother's hand, she had her head bowed and was trying desperately to stop the tears. He didn't remember any of these things, each one was like a crazy story that you read in one of those weekly women's magazines his mum bought. The first attempted suicide he been in a coma but for the other events he'd been completely conscious and yet he'd never come close to remembering the entire event. Only flashes of moments jumped to his memory and even then he had complete dissociation from them, they could have been something that he watched in a film for all he knew.

He clasped her hand tighter and then Chastity wiped at the tears, "I'm sorry, it's not your fault, I'm not blaming you at all I just need you to understand why I can't let go."

In that moment Aaron felt terrible because he'd forgotten completely that mental health problems affect the whole family. This is what his therapist had told him once, after an argument he'd had with his Mum and Aaron hated how selfish he was being but the distance of Dubai had diluted everything. He was an adult, that's what he'd told his Mum earlier and this is how he needed to act.

Aaron spoke quietly, he wasn't one to sit and discuss everything, he'd never been comfortable with opening up completely and it was doubtful that he'd suddenly elope her in a massive hug and all of a sudden take control. There was one thing he could do though, "I forgot to tell you earlier, but I went to the hospital yesterday to try to sort out the side effects." Chastity's eyes rose expectantly, "I'm going back this afternoon," he swallowed hard, "will you come?"

His mother just looked at him with big watery eyes and smiled and squeezed his hand back.