Okay my Loves…here is the next chapter of McDreamy. I am sorry it took me so long to update but I lost my "Dreamies" for a bit, and wasn't sure where I wanted this tale to go next. But I did promise not to leave you hanging.

This chapter was rough to write but not as bad as the previous. I am not going to lie, have some tissues ready. Just incase. So enjoy, Happy "early" Thanksgiving and leave me some "pumpkin pie" at the end. Me's

/

Chapter 25: "Giving For What You Love…"

The Rose Garden…

Stephen had gotten Olivia out to the Rose Garden. He wheeled her down the ramp, and began to take her through a path of roses. One side they were White, and the other they were Red. Olivia's head was down, and she barely looked up. Stephen could tell that she was a mess, after her confrontation with Fitz in the Oval.

He checked his watch, and looked over at Tom, who was walking with them. He nodded his head, and stopped her chair. "Why are we stopping," Olivia asked, still not raising her head.

Stephen came around to the front of her, and raised her head to look around. "Because Liv, you need to look around and see how beautiful this garden really is. I've never been here and it's nothing like I have ever seen."

She smiled faintly at him, but was in no mood to look and smell roses. She nodded her head "no" at him, and tried to place it back down. As she began to place it down again, she noticed something out of the corner of her eye.

She looked up at Stephen, and then to Tom. She asked Tom if she could go over to where she was looking. They both said it was fine, knowing that the plane would not leave without her. Fitz had gotten a private jet for her flight, unknown to her. Stephen began to push her in the direction she wanted to go, but she stopped him. She gazed up at Tom, who took over.

Meanwhile inside the Oval, Cyrus had finally gotten Fitz to calm down enough to stand up. He sat him on the couch and grabbed him some water. Cy told him it was going to be fine, and that him and Olivia would find their way back to each other. Fitz shrugged his shoulders at him, doubting that it was going to happen.

"She hates me Cy. I lost her. Probably for good this time," Fitz said just above a whisper.

Cy then got up and looked out the window. He saw Tom pushing Olivia over to "their" spot. He turned to Fitz and said, "Oh, then why is Tom moving Liv over to your spot then?"

"What?" Fitz asked him.

"Yes Sir, come and see for yourself?" Cy told him. Fitz got up off the sofa and looked out the window. By now Tom had her there, and Stephen was talking to her. Liv was just staring at Stephen, not saying anything back to him. They way she was feeling, she had nothing to say right now.

Fitz went to the door and opened it to go outside. "Maybe she's going to remember the first time I told her I loved her, Cy. It was in that spot. We had a huge screaming match at each other there."

He was about to go down the stairs when Tom looked up and told him "no." Tom knew that if Olivia saw Fitz, she would bolt and not want to see him at all. She needed time to process everything and remember on her own. Tom knew "their spot" and hopefully she would remember something before she left.

Cy saw him standing there. "Tom told me not to. He wants me to stay here."

"That's wise. If she sees you, it will just get her upset all over again. She's not crying now at least." Cy said to him. "She'll get there Sir. Just give her time."

Fitz looked over at Cyrus and stood just outside the Oval, on the walkway. The spot was in the shade if he positioned himself correctly, Olivia wouldn't see him. But would she feel his presence. She had always felt him before she saw him in the past. Even before he said a word to her, she always felt him near.

Olivia looked around the spot she was in, and wheeled herself over to a particular flower. She asked Tom for her purse and he gave it to her. She took out some nail, clippers and cut a white rose off the vine. She looked at its beauty and around garden. She did not know Fitz was watching her, but she sensed something.

"Tom," she said.

"Ma'am," he said, "you okay?"

"Yes. Do you know what white roses mean?" She asked him. Fitz could hear her now.

Tom shook his head 'no.' "When you give someone a white rose it means that they are pure in heart. It's a sign of purity, goodness, innocence, and humility."

Stephen then got down in front of her. "Liv, do you remember something?"

"I gave Fitz a single white rose once. It was the night he won the election. He was celebrating with the rest of the campaign staff, and I left quickly and bought him one. It was only one from a local grocery store, but I wanted him to have a White Rose. "

Fitz could hear her talking, and remembered. She took in a breath and then continued after she brought the rose to her nose and smelled it. "When Fitz came and found me, in my office, I was standing against my desk holding a white rose for him. He came up to me after saying HI and picked me up and twirled me around. When he stopped, he kissed me. I still had the rose in my hand. After we broke apart, I handed him the rose. I told him he won the Presidency because the American People saw his innocence, humility, and goodness. His heart was pure, not corrupt, which is why he won the election."

"What did he say?" Stephen asked her.

"He smiled at me and kissed me again. I always believed that he was those things."

"Do you still believe in him?" Stephen asked her. Tom was standing there seeing Fitz coming out of the shadows. If Olivia looked up she would see him now.

"Ma'am we need to head out." Tom told her now.

"I don't know anymore. I believe he's the right choice for this country I know he's a good man. I get that he was just looking for my best interests Stephen. I get that. It just hurts that he didn't trust me enough to tell me about Amanda. I wish he would have told me. Why didn't he tell me?"

"Because he was afraid you'd run again. And you did. You need to forgive him Liv. Not all of what happened with Amanda is his fault."

Olivia just looked at Stephen. She knew that to be true in her heart. If she didn't leave him in the first place, he would not have slept with Amanda. "I know just right now I can't. Come on let's go. Tom can we meet you out front. Could you give this to him? We'll be waiting for you."

"Yes Ma'am." Olivia gave Tom the rose and he walked off. Olivia watched him and saw Fitz with Cy standing watching her. She took in a breath and locked eyes with his. She was about to turn away when he mouthed 'one minute' to her. She nodded and sat there looking at him and him her.

He walked forward, as Tom made it up the steps to give him the rose. Tom handed it to Fitz and he smelled it. Fitz smiled, knowing that she still believed in him. Stephen nodded to him and Cy and pushed her out the garden to where Tom was waiting.

They made it to the waiting car, and to the airport in enough time without any problems. Everyone boarded the flight and could only wait until they landed in Seattle.

/

Seattle…

The flight to Seattle luckily was uneventful. Tom and Stephen had explained to her that Fitz had charted the plane to fly her there. She asked Tom why and he told her, it would be easier for her to travel and if he was able to make it, they would not have taken Air Force One. Stephen sat next her, and Tom across.

They chit chatted very little, and Olivia mainly looked out the window. By the time the flight landed hours later, she was exhausted. Fitz had called Tom and Stephen many times and she just told them to tell him that she was fine. Stephen helped her get ready for bed, and she willingly accepted.

He helped her into bed, and told her if she needed anything that he would be right across the hall. Before he left the room, she stopped him.

"Stephen wait," she said to him.

"Sure Liv, what's up?" Stephen said to her.

"Are you mad at me?"

"Bloody Hell no. Why would I be Liv," he asked her back, not sure where this question came from all of a sudden.

"I mean about what happened with Fitz earlier. I have the right to be mad at him right?"

Stephen sat down on the bed in front of her. He took both her hands in his and kissed them each lightly. "Liv honey. You do have the right to be mad at him for not telling you the truth. But you can't lay all the blame on him for what happened with that girl. If you didn't leave him, he would not have done it. He missed you so much."

"I get it that, it's partly my fault. He slept with someone else because he missed me. I get it. But it still hurts. Stephen, I don't know what to think anymore. I am so confused."

"Liv honey. Do you love Fitz?"

"I….I…" She couldn't answer him.

"It's an easy question honey. It shouldn't matter if you have all your memories back or not. This is something you should just know. Do you love him?"

Olivia looked at Stephen and began to cry. She didn't have to answer the question because Stephen already knew her answer.

"You know," Stephen told her, "He's been calling and texting Tom and I every hour on the hour asking how you are. He loves you Liv. You two are the real deal, and there is nothing he would not give up to be with you; even his Presidency."

"I know Stephen. I get it. I just need time I guess."

"I'll tell him if he contacts me that you're okay. All right?"

Olivia nodded. Stephen started to get up from the bed, but Olivia asked him to stay. He asked her if she was sure, and she told him yes. He knew Fitz could get jealous, but Olivia convinced him anyway. He climbed in next to her and they placed their heads on the pillows facing each other.

A while later, Tom walked by the room and saw Stephen on the bed with Olivia. Both their eyes were closed, and they were holding hands. He was sure that the President would be upset, but he knew that Olivia needed someone right now. He called the President and told him that Olivia was sleeping already.

Fitz hung up the phone even more upset. Cy came and checked on him and noticed that he was drinking a scotch. "Sir, should you be doing that right now?"

"Cy, it's only my first one and I've barely touched it. I thought it would help but it's not. I miss her so much, and I feel like crap. I feel like a failure; I failed her again."

"You didn't fail her Sir. At the time you thought what you were doing was right. You were trying to protect her. Hell she had brain surgery two months ago, and practically died in your arms. You want her to get well and not dwell on your past." Cy told him, trying to help. Cyrus then sat down across from him with his hands on his legs.

Fitz sat down and just placed his hands over his face. He felt like he lost everything today. Not only were his divorced papers finally signed, and Mellie was on her way out, but he lost Olivia all over again. He just sat there not moving or doing anything. He saw the rose from Olivia and went and got it for him. He placed it down next to him, and Fitz picked it up and a small smile appeared on his face.

"She still loves you and believes in you despite everything. She had Tom bring you this for a reason Mr. President. Olivia still believes that you are the best man for the job. I know you think she hates you, but she doesn't. She's just upset."

"Cy I should have told her the truth when I had the chance." Fitz sat back on the couch now, looking at the ceiling.

"Yes you should have. In time when she calms down, she'll realize that. You know Olivia Sir, she'll be mad at you for a while. Then you both will yell and scream at each other. You'll think it's sexy when she does it. Then you will get close to her, touch her, and then she's not mad at you anymore. Next thing you know, I'm covering for the both of you," Cy got out all in one breath, rolling his eyes.

"Geez Cy, I never knew you were so in tune with our relationship," Fitz said, chuckling now.

"Yah tell me about it. I understand you both more, than I do James. My husband drives me insane most days, but I love him for it."

Fitz didn't say anything. "Cy, what time is her appointment tomorrow? Did Tom or Stephen say?"

"I think it's at 9:00 in the morning. Dr. Grey and Shepard called Lauren to make sure everything was set up for the phone call for you. They said she has some testing to do first, then you will be on the phone with them. The tests will take about an hour, and then notify us with the results when they are ready."

"Okay, I know she said she does not want me to be involved but I am going to be there for that phone call. Make sure my schedule allows for it." Fitz told Cy, in a very forceful tone.

"Yes Sir. I'll make sure that everything is handled. Get some rest and I'll see you in the morning."

"Cy, if you talk to Liv, can you tell her…." Fitz stopped when Cyrus told him, "that you love her. I know."

Cy then left the room, and Fitz crawled into bed and attempted to fall asleep. It was going to be a long night if he didn't rest. He would hope to talk to her in the morning but something told him that she wouldn't take his call. But it was worth trying. He picked up his cell phone and texted her, an "I. Love. You," message. He knew that she would see it in the morning and hopefully he would get to hear her voice.

He then closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

/

Next Day…. Seattle Grace/Mercy West Hospital

Olivia arrived at the hospital the next morning for her appointment right on time. Dr. Grey and Shepard met her down stairs in the lobby when they heard of her arrival. She was wheeled inside and smiled immediately at seeing them. Dr. Grey and Shepard hugged her, shook Stephen's hand.

They whispered to her "Where's Fitz," so no one would think that they were talking about the President of the United States. Dr. Grey kneeled down and Olivia told her that her about the falling out before she left the day before. That she asked him to stay in D.C. so she they could work on things.

"Miss Pope," Dr. Grey said, "he loves you."

"I know," she all Olivia said back and they entered the elevator. In the elevator, she would hear Tom's phone beep and Stephen's. She knew they were texting Fitz. Neither told her, but she just had this feeling. She shook her head and knew that things were not going to get any easier for them.

The doctors brought her into the hospital room, and Dr. Grey stayed behind to help Olivia change into a hospital gown. They placed her back in her chair, and both doctors asked her some questions about what has been happening over the last 6 weeks since they had seen her.

Finally the question came about her legs. "Can you move your legs at all?" Dr. Shepard asked.

"No," Olivia sighed. "I get sensation in them, but I can't move them. I can see the therapist move them up and down, but nothing. Sometimes I can feel light touches but then it goes away."

Both doctors looked over at each other. They decided to do some tests on her legs in the hospital room, and then decide to take her down to the MRI machine. She could hear Stephen talking on the phone with Cyrus. She asked for the phone and he gave it to her.

"Hey old man," she said teasingly.

"Hey there, I hear your going for a ride." Cy told her. Fitz was at his desk trying to work on paperwork, but as soon as he realized it was her, he stopped everything and was up coming over to Cyrus.

"I am," was all she said back. She felt Fitz was close by, but she heard Cyrus make a disgruntled noise on the other end.

"You doing okay Kiddo."

"Oh yah Cy just peachy. The doctors are bringing me down for some tests. Tell Doc McStuffins over there that I am fine. Go back to his desk and work." Olivia told Cyrus.

Fitz heard her say, "Doc McStuffins." He looked at Cyrus and said, "Well at least she's not calling me an ass."

"Cy did he hear that?" Olivia asked him, as they wheeled her into the room.

"Yes he did. He's right here Liv, breathing down my next practically."

Olivia then rolled her eyes. "Miss Pope, we're ready for you. Let Mr. Beene know to tell the President we will call them after we are done your tests. We have everything set up for the conference in the Chief of Staff's office," Meredith told her.

"Cy I have to get going. They are bringing in for my testing. We'll call you in a bit after the results are looked at and we know what's going on with me."

"Okay," Cy said looking at Fitz. "Fitz wanted to tell her he loved her but he held back.

She could hear the silence on the other end, but knew Fitz was there with Cy. "Cy, tell him,…" she stopped herself.

"Tell him what Liv," Cy asked her looking at Fitz.

"Never mind, it's fine. I'll talk to you in a bit okay."

"Okay Liv. Bye." Cy told her.

"Bye," she said back and hung up the phone. The doctors then moved her to the exam table and ready the machine to begin her scan. Now all she could do was wait and let technology do its work.

/

After MRI…

Olivia was back in her hospital room waiting for the doctor's to come back in. She had been there only a little while. Stephen and Tom were in the room with her now, and by looks of Tom, she knew that Fitz had been calling him constantly. She watched "her" most trusted agent and finally told him to sit down.

"Ma'am, I am only doing my job. My job is to make sure that you are safe." Tom told her flatly.

"Tom, I know you are here because Fitz asked you to be. He wants to make sure that I am okay. But you seriously need to sit down and take a chill pill." Olivia told him, smiling.

"A chill pill…." Tom said to her with his voice trailing up. Stephen looked over at her and began to laugh.

"You realize Liv you just old a secret service agent to take a chill pill. It's not in their vocabulary." Stephen told her.

"Oh Stephen hush. Tom you need to relax. No one is going to bother us here. No one knows who I am except for Dr. Grey, Shepard, and the Chief of Surgery Dr. Hunt. You have nothing to worry about. And if your boss keeps calling, I am going to order you to turn your phone off, and we'll make him wait. Next time he calls, please tell him, we will notify him when we have news," she told him, with her arms crossed on the bed.

"Ma'am I am supposed to keep him apprised of the situation."

"Tom there's isn't anything to tell him or Cyrus right now. I feel bad for Cy. I should have let him come because I am sure Fitz is driving him crazy right now. Now SIT DOWN and relax. The doctors should be in soon."

Tom eyed her and finally sat down by the door. Olivia shook her head and was happy that he finally sat down. He was making her nervous. But she was a little concerned too. She watched Tom take out his phone and text Fitz and Cyrus not to contact them. She assumed he told them that she was getting aggravated, so after that the phone was quiet for a while.

After about thirty minutes to an hour, Dr. Grey, Shepard and a Dr. Hunt came into the room. They introduced him to Olivia, and he put a laptop on her table. Tom and Stephen came by her sides and wondered what it was for. She looked to Dr. Grey and knew it had to be Fitz. Before they turned it on, she asked them to turn it to themselves. The doctor's wondered the reason, but did not ask.

Stephen held her hand as the screen turned on and they heard and partially saw Cyrus and Fitz on the monitor. Cyrus asked where Olivia was, and Dr. Grey told him that she was on the bed, just off screen. Cy looked at Fitz, who let out a sad sigh, and put his head down.

"Are we ready," Dr. Grey asked. The entire room with Fitz and Cy in D.C. nodded.

"So," Olivia finally asked, "how did I do?"

Dr. Grey and Dr. Shepard looked at each other. Fitz saw the look and asked before Olivia "Oh God, the tumor came back didn't it. You didn't get it all."

"No Mr. President, that not the case. The tumors in Miss Pope's brain have not come back, we did get them all like we thought," Dr. Shepard said letting his voice trail off. He looked over at Olivia and raised his eyes at her. His head was down and Olivia knew that they had found something else.

"So," she asked, "what did you find them? I know something is wrong. I can tell by the looks on your face."

"You know us so well Miss Pope," Dr. Grey told her.

"I know. So just be honest. What is wrong now? There is something else happening to me, isn't there," Olivia asked. As soon as the question left her mouth, she heard Fitz gasp for air on the computer. She then heard Cyrus tell him to calm down, and it may not be as bad as they think.

Dr. Grey, Dr. Shepard, and Dr. Hunt all looked at each other. Dr. Shepard stepped forward and sat on the bed with Olivia. The computer was turned just enough so Fitz could see them. Olivia knew that she could be seen by Fitz and vice versa. She heard and out of the corner of her eye, saw Fitz let out a breath, and touched the camera, so he would be touching the screen on her end. She saw him mouth "HI" to her, and she quickly looked at Dr. Shepard.

"Miss Pope," Dr. Shepard said. Olivia knew he was trying to find the words.

Olivia let go of Stephen's hand. Stephen, then got up and looked over to Tom. They gave each other a nod and sat on the bed with Olivia. Stephen put his arm around her back and Tom placed his hand on top of hers. Both gentlemen squeezed her, to help ease her worries. Fitz watched on the screen, feeling a twinge of jealousy course through his veins.

Stephen and Tom looked at each other not caring how this made Fitz feel or anyone else. They were here for Olivia and that was it. Cyrus whispered something to Fitz and even though he was upset that he was not the one with her, Fitz knew deep down, that right now that is was about her, not him being the jealous boyfriend type. Cy told him, "Now is not the time to get upset, Sir."

Fitz nodded in agreement. Dr. Shepard then continued. "Miss Pope, we found the reason that you aren't feeling your legs."

"Okay," Olivia said. "Well…."

"You have a small tumor in your back, in your spinal cord. It's in the Lumbar region inside your spine, which is your lower back. This part of your spine controls your legs and lower back," Dr. Shepard said.

"Okay," Olivia said. She looked at the computer, seeing Cyrus grabbed onto Fitz's hand. She knew he was freaking. "So how bad is it? Please do not sugar coat it for me. I want the truth."

"The tumor, we think is benign, and is between the small openings in the vertebrae in your lower back. It's in the spinal canal. The tumor is basically blocking the nerves impulses from the spinal canal, to your peripheral nervous system. This location is tricky."

Olivia let out a labored breath. "What does this all mean?"

Derek then looked to Meredith for help. She came and sat down in the chair by Olivia's bed. Meredith then told her, "Well it's not good but Dr. Shepard and I are going to take it out. You're going to have to have another surgery. But this procedure is dangerous. But Dr. Shepard is the best, and I have faith that this is your best course of action."

Dr. Grey then said, "This tumor is the reason why you keep getting some feeling and sensations in your legs. The tumor is pushing on your spinal column. When the tumor is not compressing your cord, you feel things; you feel someone touching you, or a slight twitch. When it is pushing on your spinal cord, it's causing your paralysis."

Olivia was about to say something when she heard Fitz. "Why the hell wasn't this found before? How come it wasn't noticed two months ago? You both are supposed to be the best. How could you have missed this? She could have been walking by now." The more Fitz spoke the angrier he became.

"Sir, you need to calm down." Cy told him.

Fitz turned to him, "I am not going to calm down. She has to have another surgery Cyrus. Another freaking surgery! How come this was not found the first time? How come the initial scans did not pick this up? I should be there."

Tom whispered to her, "You need to say something to him Ma'am. He's freaking out, and he needs you."

Olivia looked up at Tom, and then to Stephen. Stephen told her, "He's right Liv. Fitz yelling at the doctor's solves nothing."

Dr. Grey and Shepard tried explaining things to Fitz, but at this point he was just too upset to listen. Cyrus was attempting to talk him off the ledge, and failing miserably. Olivia took in a breath, and finally said, "One Minute." This stopped Fitz immediately, and he looked right into Olivia's eyes.

They stared at each other through the screen. Her eyes were shaking, attempting not to cry. A lone tear, escaped and feel down her cheek. Through the screen, Fitz did the same. This was the first time, they truly looked at each other since the Oval the day before, and it was difficult for both. She could tell that he had not slept, and how sorry he was for what happened. He mouthed to her, "I'm sorry."

"Me too," she mouthed back to him. They locked eyes for a bit longer and she finally turned to the doctors. "Okay so I am having surgery. What are the risks?" She then looked to Cyrus and he knew to keep Fitz calm.

Dr. Grey, Shepard, and Hunt gave her all the details. She could have an allergic reaction to the anesthesia, or develop an infection around the surgical site. Then she could have some spinal fluid leakage, nerve damage, and her paralysis becoming permanent. Olivia looked at Stephen and Tom.

Olivia didn't want to ask the question. She was about to, but Stephen asked for her, "Could she die?"

She looked at Cy and Fitz on the screen who looked grief stricken. The doctors all gazed at one another and finally Dr. Hunt was the one to answer her. "Yes Miss Pope. That is a risk. This surgery is risky, but it is your only choice. We have to get the tumor out, and surgery is the way to proceed. We'll make sure you come back to us and the President."

Olivia was not sure how much he knew of their relationship, but obviously he knew enough. She let out a breath, closed her eyes and nodded. "Okay, when?"

"We'll go and check the surgical rotation board, and be back. I know you all have some things to discuss," said Dr. Shepard, looking from everyone in the room, to the laptop screen. The doctor's left the laptop, and then left the room to give everyone inside time to process everything.

/

Face to Face Time…

After the doctor's finally left the room, Stephen whispered something to Olivia. She gave him an evil look. "Talk to him," was all he said, and Tom and him left the room. Cyrus did the same on the monitor and it was just Fitz and Olivia, so to speak.

Neither one of them said anything to each other for a while. She was still beyond pissed at him and had nothing to really say to him. She crossed her arms around her chest, and surprisingly Fitz did the same on the screen. He sat back on the couch in the Oval, and she sat back on her bed. He was staring right at her, but she looked over the screen, not making eye contact with him.

Stephen and Tom were looking in the window, wondering who was going to make the first move. "I know her Tom, she's not going to talk to him, unless he's makes her."

Tom then said, "Well I know the President, he'll summon her to get her to talk to him. It's worked in the past."

"Tom, let me tell you something about Liv. You DO NOT SUMMON Olivia Pope. She does not like it one bit. And your boss summoning her now, will do no good because she needs surgery. I am going to bet the doctors won't let her leave her till she goes through with the procedure," Stephen told him, looking back to Olivia.

"That is true, he can't do it right now, but trust me Stephen, he'll get her to talk to him one way or another. Why do they both have to be so stubborn," Tom said.

"I can hear you two you know…." Olivia said from her room.

"Hear what?" Fitz said to her.

"Don't worry about it?" She snapped back at him.

Fitz just stared at her. He knew this wasn't going to be easy to win her back, especially with her all the way across the country. "How are you," he then tried next.

"You don't get to ask me that. You don't get to ask me how I am." Olivia shot back at him.

"I can to ask you how you are. I have every right to ask you that question. Are you going to talk to me about this surgery Olivia?" Fitz asked her finally.

"Nope."

"What do you mean no? I have some say in this."

"No you don't have a say. I am going to have the surgery. I have been stuck in this chair for two months. I want MY LIFE back," she began to raise her voice to him.

"Olivia, you could DIE. I can't lose you. We need to discuss this face to face." Fitz was pleading with her through the screen. He was a mess. She could die on him and he could barely breathe just thinking of that thought. He could feel his heart crumbling in his chest at the idea of her dying on him.

"No we don't. Face to face is over Fitz. I told you I was done. You have a country to run, and a pregnant wife to take care of. I am not your problem anymore." Olivia told him, turning away.

"You were never my problem Olivia. You know that. I am not the only one to blame at what happened." Fitz told her.

"I get that. If I didn't leave, then you would not have slept with her. I am sorry for leaving you. I really am. I did it to make you a better man. To be the man I voted for. I know this is partly my fault. That is not why I am so pissed at you," she told him, with her voice raised.

"Olivia, I lied to protect you. I didn't want to hurt you."

"Bull shit Fitz. You lied to protect yourself. Don't even give me that protect me line. I don't need protecting. I am not that fragile. I am not a little girl with lollipop dreams. I am grown woman and could have handled it. I got over it the first time. Now I get to live through it all over again. Thanks."

"I'm sorry. I love you."

"So what," Olivia snapped at him. "Look I am not doing this with you right now. The doctor's are coming back and going to give me my surgery time. It's not your decision. It's mine. These are my legs. I am tired of being in this chair. I want my life back."

"YOU'RE LIFE. WHAT ABOUT MY LIFE! YOU ARE MY LIFE!" Fitz screamed at her. "I don't want to lose you Livy. I won't survive if you were to die," Fitz told her with his voice breaking. She could see the tears in his eyes. Now her heart was breaking and she was taken back because he never screams at her.

"I am not going to die. I am too stubborn for that. Gladiators don't die." She told him in a lower, defeated voice.

"You're not invincible Olivia. You're not Super Woman."

"No I am not. But I want my LEGS BACK. I want to be able to do things for myself. I want to be able to walk on my five inch heels again. I want to dance with my friends, and," she stopped herself. She was breaking apart now. Her voice was shaking.

Fitz wanted to reach though the screen and pull her into his arms. "And," he asked her.

"And, what," she told him.

"And…." Fitz tried to get her to tell him. He knew what it was. They talked about it at her apartment.

"And I want to be able be with someone again, and not worry about my legs." She wanted to say Fitz, but she was still to mad at him. If he cheated her when she could walk, how could she be sure that he wouldn't do it with someone who had use of their leg's.

"Livy," he pleaded with her.

"What?"

"Tell me please."

"You cheated on me when I could walk. There's nothing saying that you won't do it now that I can't walk." Her voice was cracking. She could barely get the words out but she said them. She put her head down and looked at Fitz through the screen. Is that what she thought, even after he told her, that her not walking did not matter.

She then continued, "I told you we were done. I'm letting you go Fitz. Go find someone if you ever leave Mellie, who can give you the life you always wanted. Be with someone who's not in a wheelchair. Be with a person, who can give you children; a happy home, and the love you have searched for. That is not me."

"Livy," his voice was breaking. "Don't do this."

"I am giving you a way out. I am letting my love for you go. You can be free to love someone who deserves you, Fitz. It can no longer be me. I know I don't remember everything, but it has to be this way. If I should die, you know that I will love you till my dying breath."

"Livy no." Fitz was crying. "You're pushing me away. I am NOT going away."

"I have to go. The doctors are coming back."

"Olivia don't you dare leave us this way. You're not having this surgery if it could kill you. I rather have you in that chair, then not at all. I won't let you leave me like this. I am not going to live in a world where you don't exist."

"Fitz this is what you don't understand. I am already gone. I can't remember anything else and I am not sure I want to. This is just too painful," she said through her sobs. "I can't do this anymore."

"NO! You are not doing this without me. I refuse to let you." Fitz started to yell at her. His face was contorted. He needed to get to her before the surgery. He HAD to see her. If he had to kiss, hold, and caress her to death, to make her understand that he's nothing without her, then so be it. She was not doing this, without him. He had to tell her that Mellie signed the divorce papers. She still didn't know that in a few weeks, he's free to love and marry her, if she'll have him.

She heard him, but it did not deter her choice. "I'm sorry for everything. I am sorry for leaving you Fitz. I am sorry for the pain I caused you to be with someone else. I take the blame for most of that. I am sorry for ruining your marriage. But most of all I am sorry for letting you fall in love with me. But I am not sorry for loving you back." She could not stop the tears now from falling down her face.

Fitz was crying. "Livy, I love you. You're not doing this surgery without me."

She heard him, but she didn't respond. She had to trust Cyrus to keep him in D.C. now. "Be the man I voted for. I have to go. Goodbye Fitz."

"Livy…Don't…." he started say but she hit the screen and turned the computer off.

/

Back in D.C. …In the Oval…

Right when the screen on the laptop turned off, Fitz screamed her name. At that moment, the Secret Service and Cyrus ran into the Oval. Fitz just about threw the computer off the coffee table, in a fit of anger. Cyrus saw him go for it, and got to it before it was sent across the room. Fitz then got up and threw whatever was closest by him. Luckily it was only his suit jacket, and nothing got broken.

Cyrus looked at the Secret Service and told him that he had Fitz. Cyrus tried to touch Fitz, but Fitz whipped around and glared at him. Realizing it was Cy, he backed down. He walked him over to one of the doors, grabbing his jacket along the way. He ushered him up to the residence, with the SSA's agents behind.

Fitz did not say anything the entire way upstairs. He just crossed his arms across his chest, staring straight ahead. Mitch and the other agents were with him, knew the situation with Olivia. When the door to the elevator opened Fitz got out, and entered his bedroom. Cy was right behind him, and the agents stayed outside.

When Fitz entered his bedroom, he threw his jacket across the room, knocking the White Rose Olivia gave him over. The vase shattered, the rose was sent flailing across the table. The maids heard it, and came inside. Fitz apologized and told them that he would clean up his mess. They gave him everything he needed, and with Cy's help he cleaned it up.

Fitz then picked up the rose, she gave him the day before, and brought it to his nose. He engulfed it scent, and then looked at its petals. It a work of art; in full bloom, huge petals, and smelled in a way like his Livy. Even though he had just knocked it off the table, it was still strong, not breaking apart at his touch.

Fitz looked to Cyrus, but did not say anything. The love of his life was going to have another risky surgery, and she did not want him around. She was afraid that he would just cheat on her again because of her legs. Fitz told her countless times that this did not matter to him, and at a time, she believed him. But now, that was no longer the case.

Fitz mouthed "sorry" to Cy he nodded as a response to him. Cy noticed that after he cleaned up the mess, Fitz seemed to have calmed down. He went and sat on the couch, and he watched Fitz take off his tie, and lay it on the couch. Fitz finally sat down and waited for Cyrus to ask him what happened. But to Cy's credit, he didn't say a word. He just waited, and watched to make sure that he was okay.

"Cy," Fitz finally said.

"Sir, it's okay." Cy told him.

"No it's not," Fitz told him, with his voice hoarse. "It's not going to be okay, if I lose her."

"What do you mean if you lose her? What the hell happened now? Didn't you two love birds talk?"

"Sort of," Fitz said, in a huff. "She still hates me, and she going to have the surgery, even if it kills her." Now Fitz could feel the pools of water in his eyes.

"What do you mean if it kills her?" Cy asked in disbelief.

"From what I got from Dr. Grey and Shepard, this surgery is risky because of where the tumor is in her back. It's benign, but it could kill her, if they are not careful in the surgery. Without the surgery, she won't be able to walk again. She could die, if something were to go horribly wrong."

"She told you that," Cy asked raising his voice. He could feel his own blood pressure rising now. "Why in the hell would she do something so risky? What the hell did you say to her now?"

"Cy I told her that I loved her. I don't care about her legs. Her not walking means nothing to me. I could care less. I rather have her in a chair, then not at all. If I have to carry her around till the end of our days together then so be it. I won't exist in this world without her," Fitz said. Now he was back up walking and began to pace around the room.

"She didn't buy it?"

"No. She didn't even want to hear what I had to say. Olivia told me that she's not my problem anymore. She is letting me go, so I can love someone else that deserves me. She let me go Cy. This is not just over Amanda. That is part of it."

"I figured but why?"

"Because I cheated on her when she could walk, and she thinks I'll do it again because of her legs. She gave up on us Cy; on our dream, on everything we promised each other." Fitz told him. He was now leaning against the wall, attempting to hold back the tears. He could feel her slipping away and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He was losing her, probably forever and in that, he was losing himself.

"Sir," Cy said. Fitz just stared into space.

"Mr. President," Cy tried again, but this time Fitz turned around and looked out the window.

"Fitz," this time it got his attention. "What do you love more?"

"What?" Fitz asked him.

"Do you love this job or Olivia more?" Cy asked him.

"Come on now Cy, you know the answer to that." Fitz told him, not believing he was asking him this after everything they had gone through recently.

"Well now is the time to put up or shut up," Cy said to him. Fitz just stared at him, taking in a breath. "Now is the time to be HER Gladiator in a Suit, and give for what you love."

"Cy, I…" Fitz tried to say but Cy stopped him.

"Do you love her as much as you claim? Do want to marry her and make her your wife?"

"Yes Cyrus, more than anything."

"So now's the time to show her; it's time to give Olivia, the love of her life, whatever she wants. Give her the moon if you have to. Go to her and prove it that you are not screwing around anymore. Beg, grovel, but prove to her, that she is what you want. And for FUCK's sake, TELL HER about your DAMN DIVORCE!"

"Cyrus," Fitz said to him. He could not believe that he just cursed at him like that. Fitz swallowed hard, and crossed his arms across his chest. Never in his wildest dreams would he have expected Cyrus Beene to say any of those things to him, in that fashion. Fitz stood there thinking and looking at Cy.

Cyrus stood staring at him. In an instant he saw the light bulb go on in Fitz's head, and he was on the phone with her team, explaining what happened. They were with him, and would meet him in the residence in two hours with everything they needed.

Cyrus knew what to do on his part, and went home and gathered what he needed. He told his secretaries of the new agenda and they made all the adjustments. He then informed the Secret Service and they immediately went into action. Once Cy told James, he got on board with the plan, and decided to help out anyway he could.

/

Two hours later, Olivia's team met with Fitz and Cyrus in the Oval Office. Their bags were packed and everyone was curious as to what was going on. Cy, Fitz, and the Secret Service waited for the right moment. Then in the distance everyone in the room could hear the rumbling noise, getting louder and louder. They all looked around, eyes darting back and forth.

Harrison finally asked, "Fitz what's going on? We brought and packed everything you asked us to, including a suitcase. What is that sound?"

But before Fitz could answer him, Huck said, "That is Marine One, getting ready to land on the South Lawn. It's the only aircraft that can land on the South Lawn. It's about a minute or less out. If you look out the windows, it is on it's final approach."

"Very good Huck," Fitz said.

"But why is Marine One landing?" Quinn asked, looking around the room.

Before Fitz could answer Abby noticed him and Cyrus smiling at each other. "Wait we are all going somewhere aren't we. We are well ALL going?" Abby asked.

Fitz said, "We are going to Seattle; to Seattle Grace, Mercy West Hospital. We are going to either try to stop Olivia from having that surgery, or we are going to be there with her every step of the way. She is not going through this alone."

"But Sir, I heard that she does not want you there. Stephen told us what happened." Quinn said to him.

"That does not matter to me." Fitz countered. "Someone very wise to me told me that you have to give for what you love. Well I am risking my security; my Presidency to go and be with the Love of my Life. I know she does not want me around, but I am going to be with her. I WILL NOT let her go through this alone."

Abby and Quinn were about to say something else when Harrison said, "Over A Cliff Ladies. Now are we Gladiators or are we Bitches? Which is it?"

Harrison looked around the room and everyone answered "Gladiators." He then turned to Fitz who said, "Good now let's go and get my First Lady Back."

/

Okay my Pumpkins, did I SERIOUSLY wreck you with this chapter. Oh Lord I hope not, especially after VERMONT last week. Which reminds me, anyone reading my "Xmas In Vermont" story should be happy. The next chapter is going up tomorrow or Thanksgiving morning.

But Olivia is having more issues now. She has a nasty tumor in her back. If she does not allow the surgery she won't be able to walk. But if she has it, she could die. I know… I am a cruel woman to put you all through this. But like I always say… "You can't always get what you want, now can you?"

But Fitz is either going to FINALLY go after her, or be there for her one way or another. Yah baby! That should be interesting when our beloved POTUS shows up on Grey's. Lord. I just may have to write another "Fitz in Scrubs" scene. Now who's up for that? ;-)

Well leave me some "Pumpkin Pie or Apple Pie" on your way out, you know I live for them, and they make me smile of course.

Happy Thanksgiving this week and be on the lookout for "A Breath of Fresh Air" after "Xmas In Vermont."

Toodles Darlings….Me's