ALICE POV

I stare out the window at the water dripping off all the trees surrounding our land. Well, the land that we legally own. Our vampire territory stretches on much farther than even I can see.

The ground is very muddy. Everything had been layered in ice not even a week ago. The ice is melting as spring nears, though, leaving soggy soil and large mud puddles in its wake.

I am thinking about Renesmee, Jacob, and twisted, screwed-up love triangle. It really is just so unfair for Renesmee to have to go through it, and I know Bella thinks that too though she has been very cold and harsh to her daughter lately. She knows just what it is like to have to choose between two amazing guys.

Renesmee was made for Jacob. Jacob was made for Renesmee. They are perfect for each other in every way. He is calm, she is hot headed, he is funny, she is funny, they both love to laugh, she likes to talk, he likes to listen to her talk, she is always in search of advice, he is always willing to give it, the list could go on and on.

But then there is Alec, who rolled like a thunderstorm into Renesmee's life. And he is as perfect for her in every way also. He got to her first, stole her heart first, and therefore she chose him over Jacob.

Maybe her personal preferences in guys also has something to do with it. Jake is the charming, sweet, funny boy next door that all the girls go head over heels for. Alec is the dangerous, gorgeous, romantic, enticing bad boy that all the girls pine for but none can ever really get.

I guess Renesmee just likes the bad boys. I do too. Jasper was a scarred up blood-maddened warrior who was trained to kill every vampire who wasn't established as his ally.

My visions of Renesmee have been few over the past month she has been gone. But before that I had an average of about ten of her a day. Her future was shifting rapidly as her body warred with itself. I could see her very, very sick long before anyone realized what was going on.

But I had that gut instinct not to tell anyone. Because first of all, it would throw everyone in a panicked tizzy. We would leave to go back home or perhaps to South America before Alec and Renesmee's relationship developed. My gift told me that was a necessary part of her life.

And if I had told in the months after Alec and Renesmee realized how deep in love they were, we would have still had months to figure it out. Not a month. The tension, anxiety, worry, and lack of time is what cleared the fog in Bella's brain. It wasn't instantaneous, but over the past couple weeks, she has realized how much Renesmee means to her and how she could never lose her especially if it is her fault.

Perhaps if I had seen the cure to Renesmee's illness I could have told. But I didn't see it until Nahuel had come, which I'm guessing was a spur of the moment decision after receiving Carlisle's letter sent to one of his sisters, the only one who can ever keep up with him. He doesn't accept calls because he is all over the place and would rather die than wait around at the phone.

I kept quiet about Nahuel's visit to Renesmee in Volterra because I also saw her phoning home and telling Jake. I just thought maybe she wanted to share news of her recovery herself. It really wasn't my place, after all. My gift shows me things sometimes I really have no interest in seeing.

I also had visions of Alec and Renesmee's wedding. I had one where she was still very sick and had to be in a wheelchair to get down the aisle. I've had dozens of visions of her death. They freak me out. But thanks to my vision, a call she managed to get through to Jake, and a belated call from Nahuel, we all know that none of those horrible visions came true.

I've been so afraid of spilling everything to her though. I slipped up by telling her about the one of her and Alec on a plane. They had been running away together. Thankfully that didn't come true, but it very easily could have, and I planted the thought in her head. I actually avoided her for some time just so I wouldn't mess up again.

As I've said before, Renesmee has been gone for a while. Bella called Jake as soon as we got home from Volterra after being thrown out by the Volturi. She started off telling him about the illness Renesmee had obtained, and before she could get to the part about her running away to Volterra, he had hung up and rushed to the airport. He got to us just hours before the huge ice storm hit. Then he became trapped. Him and Rose have been at each others throats..

Jake is crushed over it all. He has been waiting for six years until the time would come when Renesmee had matured enough to be able to accept the imprint with a rational mind. But then one unexpected trip to Italy came along, and his perfect future with his perfect girl crumbled into dust right in front of his eyes and he couldn't do a thing about it.

I hope Alec and Jake never, ever meet. Jake tries to keep his cool about it all, but obviously he is tortured. And if he ever actually saw Alec in the flesh, looked into the cunning scarlet eyes of the one who stole it all from him, I'm sure it would end badly. They are both aggressive and possessive and protective of Renesmee. A fight would break out. A fight to the death that Alec would obviously win. Alec never loses.

"I hate what has happened to us all." Jasper murmurs into the bare skin of my shoulder blade from behind.

"So do I. But I just can't see a way to fix it." I sigh, and he knows I don't mean it the way your average person means it. I can't see the solution anywhere in the future.

"But have you seen things return to normal?" he asks, moving his hands from resting on my upper arms to gripping my slim hips.

"Of course. But I've also seen things get progressively worse."

"I can't go on like this, Ali. The grief, sorrow, anxiety, heartbreak, tension, annoyance, longing, and just sheer, raw misery are eating away at my core. It feels like I'm going mad." he whimpers in a agonized tone. I quickly turn towards him, placing my hands on both sides of his face.

"It will be okay. You will be okay. I will fix it all. I will make all the bad feelings go away." I promise him, filling myself with lovely emotions to try to lift his spirit.

"How does an angel willingly choose a monster?" he ponders, pulling me closer by my hips.

"You are not a monster. Maybe you once were, but you aren't that person anymore. Just because you are constantly feeling horrible things, doesn't mean you are horrible. Don't forget that, Jazzy." I smile at him, leaning up on my tippy toes. He bends down, knowing very well what I want, and kisses me sweetly. I pull back after a moment.

"We're going to need a plan to fix all this." I tell him in a hushed tone though by the sound of things, the other couples in the house aren't much concerned with what Jasper and I are doing.

"I was just thinking the same thing." he grins. Who better to go to for plans than Jasper? He is a pro.

"I think there is really only one thing we can do.. You and I by ourselves are going to have to go back to Italy."