A/N: Okay, I can't tell if everyone has read the last chapter, the stats are a little screwy, but this one is going up anyway!

I fiddled with some old looking bracelets that Two-Bit had on display by his cash register, as I told him what I was worried about. He frowned.

"Are you serious, Tink? Not once?"

I shook my head while Two-Bit digested what I'd told him. Then I continued, "You know what he was like when we picked him up, all the excuses...I know what you're gonna say, he was tired, I know all of that. But that was nearly a month ago an', I swear, Two-Bit, he ain't done nothing but sleep since then. And he ain't been near the Chevy."

Two-Bit didn't say anything for a second or two. I knew that meant he couldn't think of an easy, cheerful answer. He thought I was right.

Steve was afraid to drive.

He'd been out of the house, it wasn't that – I admit, for a while I'd been terrified that his reluctance to go out was something similar to Ma's problem. But he'd walked to Soda's house a few times, claiming that he wanted to clear his head or get some air. He used the same excuse if he went out to buy cigarettes. And he'd been out on plenty of evenings, with Two-Bit and with Soda, playing pool or hitting up bars. Never driving.

"Where'd you go last night?" I pushed the point.

"We went to that new place, TJ's, it's near enough so's none of us hadda drive if we got wasted."

"Whose idea was that?"

Two-Bit rubbed his chin while he tried to make the answer something other than what it was, what I already knew. "Steve's," he finally admitted.

"He say anything about goin' back to the DX?" I knew that answer too.

"Look, he probably needs –"

"If you say he needs time to settle back in, I'm gonna scream." I felt my lip start to wobble and I fought to get a hold of myself. "Everything's the same for him, I kept everything goin', all the time he was away. What's to settle?"

"Aw, sweetie." Coming around the counter, he slung his arm around my shoulders and squeezed. "You did so good, with Jay an' all. But it ain't about that is it? You know where he's been. You know what some of these guys are like when they get back –"

"Steve's fine," I interrupted stubbornly. "He didn't get hurt. He ain't like those guys that come home injured." I pushed the memory of what happened to Trey in particular out of my thoughts. We didn't have to cope with that. Steve was whole, uninjured. Goddammit, we survived! I waited so long and I wanted him back, like he used to be.

Instead, I felt almost like I was sharing the house with a stranger.

Two-Bit chewed his lip. "You talk to Soda?"

I shrugged. "I ain't hardly seen him on his own. I tried to say something the other night, but Steve came in."

"I'll talk to him. But you know who you oughta be talking to? Marian. Her husband was in Korea."

That surprised me. I didn't remember ever telling him that.

Elle arrived, a swirl of noise and air from the street sweeping into the store with her. Two-Bit stepped away from me to greet her with a kiss.

I felt stupid for ever pushing him together with Kathy; now that I'd seen Two-Bit in love, it was obvious that there had never been more than a passing attraction for her. The way he looked at Elle, like there was no one else in the world, was something to see.

These days, I was lucky if Steve even noticed I was there. I hadn't told Two-Bit that. I felt disloyal enough as it was, without whining that I felt neglected. Part of me had hoped, when I said 'he ain't done nothing but sleep', that Two-Bit would pick up on the hint. I couldn't bring myself to be any more explicit and so I confined my complaint to the issue about Steve not driving.

xxXxx

I was keeping the old routine going, Jay was at Ma's while I went to work. I knew Sarah was itching to ask why he didn't just stay with Steve, even though that would make her a hypocrite since she acted like her own husband couldn't be trusted to wipe Toni's nose.

There was no way I could tell Sarah that Steve wasn't even awake when I left the house and even if he had been, he'd have had a hangover and no enthusiasm to watch his son. But maybe I could tell Marian. Typically, we were busy that morning and it was practically lunchtime before we had five minutes alone.

I fully intended to start with a sensible question, 'Was your first husband different when he came back from Korea?' but I didn't even have to do that.

Marian leaned on the counter and said, "Shoot."

I felt like it was spilling out of me, without my even having to choose the words. The fact that Steve spent his days sleeping, his nights drinking or blazing up, until long after I'd fallen asleep. The fact that after the initial euphoria of being back together he hadn't laid a finger on me, barely looked at me. Barely spoke to me even. The way he was blatantly jealous of Two-Bit's relationship with Jay, but:

"...he don't even pay attention to Jay like he should..." Damn, that was something I hadn't said out loud before. I stopped myself, biting my lip and clenching my fists.

"Aw, Sweet Pea, after you waited so long."

Exactly. She got it. I took a deep breath. "I wanted him back so bad. But it don't feel like he is back. Don't feel like it's him."

Marian frowned. "Sounds to me like he don't feel like himself, neither. It's gotta be tough, it ain't the same for these guys, this time around, is it?"

"Like how?"

"Like, no ticker tape parades, no 'thanks for winning the war' or nothin'. The guys that came back after '45 were all heroes, even if they never did one heroic thing. It was like one long party. Because we won. Even when Aaron came home from Korea, he was with his buddies, there was a sense of...Oh, I dunno, Sweet Pea. I ain't explaining it well, but it's different this time around. Like there wasn't any point to it."

"You think Steve's got a right to bum around, not go back to work, because we ain't winning in Vietnam?" That was childish and I knew it. I rubbed my forehead, as much to get rid of the idea as the headache that was building up. "I don't mean that. But what'll we do, if he don't come out of this?"

"I don't think he's being deliberately lazy, Evie," she chided me gently.

"He needs to go back to work!"

"You okay for money?" Marian asked. "He getting any benefits?"

"I dunno. I just know I'mma have to go back to full time, if he don't do something." Jesus. I couldn't believe my life was ruled by bills and bank accounts. That was not what it was supposed to be like. Was it?

xxXxx

Marian suggested that I leave a little early but not fetch Jay right away. I wondered if she was right. If having Jay around was affecting how Steve felt. That first day when he came home and it was just the two of us, everything had been great. Hadn't it? Or had I just been so caught up in the joy of having him home that I hadn't noticed any warning signs?

The house was quiet when I let myself in. No surprises there. If Steve wasn't asleep, I knew he'd be out back, smoking. I just hoped it was only tobacco at this time of day.

He was on the top step, looking out at the backyard, elbows on his knees.

"Hey, baby." I sat down next to him. He reacted to my kiss hello with surprise, asked me what time it was. I wondered how long he'd been out of bed for.

"Where's Jay?" As he looked behind me, I tried to believe that it was anything but nervousness in his voice.

"I'mma fetch him later. Come with me. Maybe we could take him to the playground?"

He stiffened just a fraction. If I hadn't had my arm on his, I might not have noticed it. "I'm kind of tired," he said.

I tried to keep my tone light as I asked, "You okay? Like, do you think you're feelin' okay?"

Steve squinted at me. "What?"

"You seem like you're tired a whole lot, maybe you should see the doctor –"

He shook my arm off, angrily. "Jesus Christ! I don't wanna go to the fucking playground one time and I must be sick?"

"You 'don't wanna go'?" I picked on his change of excuse.

"I got other things to do than play with little kids..." he trailed off.

"Do you?" I'd started down this road, I might as well continue. "Like what, baby? What'd you do today? Did you call up Mike at the DX?"

The narrowed eyes spoke volumes. But, dammit, so what if he thought I was criticizing him. I was. But I wanted to know what was wrong more. I leaned against his shoulder, hoping Steve would see it as a peace-making gesture. "Steve, baby, I miss you. I feel like you didn't come home for real yet –"

"The fuck?" He leaned away from me.

"I mean, you stay up later'n me every night –"

Something flickered behind his eyes. "Is that what this is about? You used to gettin' it more regular?" He launched himself to his feet. "Hell, you think you can make it to the bedroom, or should we just do it right here on the porch?" He yanked on his belt, like he was going to undo it.

I spluttered his name in protest, standing up myself, completely indignant that he would speak to me like that.

"What do you mean, 'Am I used to..'? You think I been running around on you, while you were gone? How'd I manage that, what with looking after Jay all the time, not to mention having Two-Bit around -" I shut my mouth sharply as he sneered at me. "Oh, Steve. You don't think me 'n Two-Bit...?"

"Aw, forget it." He snapped and waved me away, turning his back on me and walking into the kitchen.

"Steve!" This time I was sharper. He stopped but didn't turn around. I stood in the doorway, afraid to ask what I had to know the answer to. "Steve. Do you..." I had to swallow. "Do you think you made a mistake? Marrying me. Taking Jay on. Do you wish you didn't have to come home to us?" That was the only explanation I could come up with, for the way he was pushing me away all the time.

He turned around slowly.

I faced him across the kitchen. I was only just holding onto my emotions. For one awful second I didn't know what his answer was going to be. I was so afraid in that second, I forgot to breathe.

"Oh, my God," he said slowly. "It ain't that. Fucking hell, Evie, it ain't that at all." He took a step towards me. Then, he whirled around and left the room so fast it felt like he sucked all the air out with him and I was left breathless for the second time. What then? What?

From the bedroom door I watched as he stuffed clothes randomly into his army duffle.

"What are you doing?" I could see exactly what he was doing, but it felt like a step too far, too fast, to go straight in with 'Don't go.'

"Look, I just gotta split. I can't..." There were no more words to explain what he couldn't. His hands were shaking on the bag.

"You planning on takin' the Chevy? Wherever it is you're headed?" It was cruel. I didn't mean it that way, but he flinched. "An' what should I tell Jay? How long you think you'll be gone?"

"Like it matters!" Steve slammed the bag down on the bed. "Like he'd care! He don't need me, no more'n you do. You got it all set up so cozy, every one of y'all, ain't nobody would miss me anyway!"

I let out a screech of frustration. "You lousy asshole! How can you say that to me? How dare you say that to me? I waited and waited and I missed you so much. You're the one who ain't interested. You're the one who don't spend no time with us –" I ran over and snatched the bag away from him. "Don't you dare run out on us now!"

He jumped, like I'd hit him.

"You don't...you wouldn't..." For a second his eyes shone and he was on the very brink of speaking, then a blank mask dropped over his face and he turned away. "Forget it." He walked out the room, out of the house.

xxXxx

I had to go fetch Jay. I had to go on with life, like I had been doing these last few weeks, knowing something was wrong and not knowing how to fix it. I was more than happy to see Two-Bit strolling up the street as I turned the corner for home.

"Figured I'd come see if I can get him to talk," he said, with an encouraging smile. I wasn't looking forward to explaining that I'd failed miserably myself on that score.

We didn't make any effort to go into the house quietly, because we didn't know Steve was home, let alone asleep in the front room. It didn't make any difference, he wasn't disturbed by the door snapping shut behind us, or by Jay chattering on as he scampered into the room, or by Two-Bit's loud, jokey statement that Steve was a lazy bum and ought to get off his ass and free up the couch.

Steve lay flat out, with an arm across his face.

"Hey, I said 'we're back'." Two-Bit was laughing as he reached down and shook Steve's arm.

A whole lot of things happened in a matter of seconds.

Steve swung out a massive punch as he rolled to his feet in one fluid movement, catching Two-Bit smack in the face and sending him flying onto his backside; he knocked the coffee table over as he hit the floor.

Jay shrieked and flew across the room, flinging himself at Two-Bit, who had blood streaming out his nose. Two-Bit tried groggily to hold Jay and missed, as the kid rounded on Steve with all his two year old strength and shoved on his legs.

"Bad Daddy!" he screamed. "Don't hit my Two-Bit!"

I launched myself at Jay, grabbing him back away from Steve and putting him behind me as I positioned myself in front of Two-Bit, who was climbing to his feet and trying to tell Jay he was okay, even as he was cupping his bloody nose with one hand.

Seconds. A matter of seconds.

Steve blinked at us, as if he was only now waking up. He reached his hand out but Jay yelled, "No! Go 'way!" and threw his arms around Two-Bit's legs, sobbing his name. With a look of absolute horror, Steve took a step backwards, bumped the couch and sat down hard. He covered his face with his hands and burst into tears.

I didn't know what to do. My eyes went from one to the other of all of them, then back again. I felt my own lip wobble. What the hell had just happened? Who should I go to?

Two-Bit looked back at me over the top of his hand, his grey eyes full of confusion. But then he moved, scooping Jay up with his free arm and carrying the sobbing toddler out of the room, making the decision for me.

"Steve? Baby?" I sat down next to him and put my hand carefully on his shoulder. He reached out and held onto my fingers tightly, but kept the other hand over his eyes.

"I thought I was...I must've been dreaming..." he choked out the words. "I thought I was back there." He scrubbed his eyes and looked at me with sudden fear. "Oh, God. Did I hurt Jay?" I shook my head. "Did I touch you? Are you sure I didn't hurt Jay?" he panicked. I told him no, over and over.

"We're okay. Steve, I promise, you didn't." Why didn't he know? Why didn't he remember? "Jay was upset because you punched Two-Bit. You didn't hurt Jay."

Steve blinked. "Two-Bit...?" He jumped to his feet. "Shit. I didn't mean to. I swear I never meant to. Shit."

I followed him out of the room and we found them in the bathroom. Two-Bit was holding a wet towel to his nose, as he sat on the edge of the tub and bounced Jay on his knee. Jay scowled mightily and patted Two-Bit's cheek.

"Lookit you did, Daddy," he said fiercely. "Bad Daddy."

"Yeah. You got me there, kid." Steve swallowed. "Two-Bit, man, I'm sorry. I never...I mean...Shit, man, did I bust it?" His voice was real small.

Two-Bit nodded. "Could be." He was muffled sounding, like he had a cold. He lifted the towel away slowly. "How's it look?"

I hissed through my teeth. His nose was swelling already and was quite definitely at a new angle. It was still pouring blood.

"I'm sorry. Man, I'm real sorry." Steve shook his head. "I don't know what happened. I'm sorry." He backed out of the bathroom until he hit the wall opposite the door. His eyes were huge and he seemed to be having trouble catching his breath.

"Jay, honey, I need you to get down." Two-Bit tried to prise Jay from his neck. He shot me a panicky look. "Tink, I'mma get sick. You need to take him..."

I grabbed Jay just in time for Two-Bit to lean forward and puke into the toilet. He must have swallowed a heap of blood. He gasped for breath, between heaving and holding his nose.

Jay was wrapped onto me like a limpet, whimpering around the thumb in his mouth, but I managed to give Two-Bit a fresh towel. He was looking real pale.

"Steve. I think he needs a doctor." I turned around. Steve looked at me blankly. "Steve!"

He shook his head. "I can't..."

"You have to!" I demonstrated that I could hold both hands out and Jay still clung to me. "I can't drive like this."

"I'll look after Jay." There was desperation in his voice. Hearing his name, Jay shied away from his father. Steve looked like he was going to cry again. Behind us, Two-Bit groaned, leaning forward to spit more blood in the toilet.

"Steve," I said quietly. "Two-Bit needs you to help him."

Steve nodded slowly. He held my gaze, even as he walked into the bathroom. Like he would lose the will to move or something, if I wasn't the one making it happen.

"C'mon, man." He grabbed Two-Bit's arm, then put his arm around him, guiding him out and towards the front door. Steve reached for the Chevy key as he passed the table in the entryway.

I watched as he took a deep breath, laying his hands on the steering wheel slowly. Then he turned the engine over and backed out onto the street.