"Please" Lettie begged, Anne raised her brow at her friend over the dress she was fixing, "Anne c'mon tell me what happened with Carlyle" she pleaded.
Anne sighed and lowered the dress slightly, "Lettie, I'll tell you what I've told you every day for the past week. What happened between me and Phillip is my business and nobody else's" she said.
She groaned unhappily, "I'm your best friend, why won't you tell me?" She asked, "you may be my best friend but that does not mean you're entitled to know whatever may or may not have happened between me and Phillip".
It had been a week since Anne had told Phillip it couldn't possibly work between them and nobody had seen Phillip since. He didn't show up to any of the meals nor did he show to any of the rehearsals, not that he had to.
Word had spread that something had happened between him and Anne but nobody knew what, nobody but him, Anne and W.D that is.
Anne much to her friends' despair wouldn't reveal to any of them what had happened on that fateful morning, she didn't want to have to explain that they couldn't be together because of the colour of her skin, mostly because she couldn't believe it herself.
She knew how Phillip would be treated if he was seen in public with a girl like her but she didn't understand why the colour of her skin was the source of so much hatred.
Now on the eighth day since the incident Anne and Lettie sat in the dining hall, which doubled as the room the troupe hung around and socialised in during the day, fixing the troupe's costumes they would wear to meet the Queen in.
P.T had realised both Anne and Lettie were skilled in tailoring and he could save money having them to repair clothes rather than taking them to a professional tailor.
W.D and the guys sat next to them talking about whatever guys talked about whilst Lettie pestered Anne for the answer of what went down between her and Phillip.
Lettie sighed heavily as she threaded her needle through Chang and Eng's suit, "just tell me why you won't talk about it then, what's the real reason you won't tell any of us what happened?" She asked.
W.D looked up from his conversation with Constantine and Charles, "come on Lettie, she's not gonna tell you" he said.
Lettie turned to W.D, "you! You know, why won't you tell me?" She asked, W.D rolled his eyes and looked to Anne, "because Anne's asked me not to tell anyone and so I won't".
Constantine and Charles had lost in whatever conversation they had been having before and tuned into the new one on what happened with Anne and Phillip.
"Back in Russia we do not keep secrets from our friends as our friends are like our family and families do not have secrets" Constantine said, Lettie nodded and pointed to him.
Anne sighed and put down the dress, it was clear she wasn't going to be able to get any work done, "you want to know why I won't tell you so bad?" She asked.
"Yes" Charles, Lettie and Constantine answered excitedly straight away, "because what happened was entirely unfair and I think two people should be able to be together regardless of race" she snapped.
Lettie's face fell, she wrapped her arm around Anne's shoulder pulling her into a hug, "oh honey, I'm sorry".
Anne took a deep breath, "but you're right Constantine, I shouldn't keep secrets from you guys, I'll tell you what happened" she said.
Charles placed his hand on Anne's, "are you sure you're ready?" He asked, he could be surprisingly soft and caring when it came to his friends.
Anne nodded, "I couldn't sleep last week so I decided I would go for a walk when I heard Phillip playing the piano in the study. I ended up spending the night with him, not like that. We sung together and talked but nothing happened. Well we'd been talking for hours so eventually we both fell asleep, W.D found us the morning after and assumed something had happened considering Phillip's past but he isn't like that. W.D got mad at Phillip and gave him this big talk about how difficult it would be for him if he were to be in an openly public relationship with a black girl and I realised he was right and so I said goodbye to Phillip and that's it. Nobody's seen him since" she explained.
"I wouldn't be so sure" Lettie said, Anne turned to ask her what she meant when she saw Phillip creep into the dining room.
He looked awful, his skin was a sickly white and he had massive dark bags under his eyes. His hair was messy and unstyled with cowlicks sticking up everywhere.
He kept to the back wall in hopes of not being seen as he edged his way towards the buffet table stocked with food, P.T however spotted him. He walked over to Phillip and clapped him on the back with a cheery smile, he said something that Anne couldn't hear from the other side of the room but Phillip just shook his head gloomily and muttered something in response.
They had a short silent conversation, P.T looking cheerful and upbeat as he always did, Phillip looking glum and miserable.
Anne watched him with shuddering breath, seeing him in such an unpresentable state just made her feel worse. She'd been battling with unhappiness herself, her heart broke when she had said goodbye to Phillip.
Now watching him it was clear he was intoxicated from something far worse than whiskey, his eyes were red and bloodshot, his actions were slower and more sluggish than usual.
Her stomach turned at the thought of her being the reason he looked like this.
W.D looked concernedly at Anne, "are you alright?" He asked, "would you like us to do something?" Charles added.
Anne looked back at them and smiled weakly, she shook her head, "no it's okay, although I should probably go talk to him" she started to get up.
Lettie put her hand out to stop her, "do you really think that's the best idea?" She asked.
Anne sighed, "not really but look at him. Even if I can't be with him, I still care for him. I've got all of you guys to look out for me, who has he got?" She said.
W.D shifted, "yes but will you be okay?" He asked, Anne just smiled, "I guess we're about to find out".
Phillip continued to talk to P.T as Anne made her way across the room to him, he hadn't noticed her yet but P.T did, "I'll just leave you alone for now, it looks like Anne would like to talk to you son" P.T said, patting his shoulder.
Phillip's head shot up, he looked like a deer caught in a hunter's light as he looked at her for the first time, "no no no no" he stammered grabbing P.T's arm.
P.T eased his grip, "you'll be alright, come find me afterwards if you need to" he said kindly before he backed off leaving the two of them alone.
Anne could see him more clearly now, he was sweating and shaking like a leaf, she had seen enough men emerging dens on the streets to tell Phillip had clearly taken some sort of opioid.
Phillip lowered his head, "I should go" he murmured, Anne grabbed his hand, he was hot to the touch, confirming her suspicions "are you doing okay?" She asked.
He hesitated before he looked at her again, "it's not your decision to make if I'm willing to do what it takes or not because I would" he said ignoring her question.
Anne dropped her hand and looked back to her friends. They were all watching them undoubtedly trying to figure out what they were saying, "maybe not but you're clearly not thinking straight. It appears you're high on an opioid so let me ask you what did you take?".
He sighed, "that doesn't matter. So what are we then? are we just friends? Colleagues?" He asked, Anne took a deep breath, "I think friends or colleagues would be best" she answered.
She ignored the pain in her chest, everything hurt she didn't want to just be friends. Telling him they were just friends hurt more than anything's ever hurt her before but she knew she had to be the rational one, she had to be the one who thought of the consequences because Phillip clearly wasn't thinking straight.
Phillip massaged the bridge of his nose, "fine" he said coldly, Anne was trying so hard to keep it together for him but it was getting increasingly difficult.
"Phillip-" she touched his shoulder but he pushed her off, "no it's fine. I'll just be the man who signs your paycheck and nothing more, excuse me" he said angrily before he turned and left.
Lettie and W.D raced over to her, "are you okay?" W.D asked, "what did he say?" Lettie asked.
Anne swallowed hard, there was a burning lump in her throat that she couldn't swallow down, "nothing, I need to go" she said pushing past them.
Lettie grabbed her arm, "Anne wait" she protested, Anne shook her head, "I need some air, please don't follow me" she said.
She walked to her and W.D's room and shoved her face in her pillow before she let the emotion engulf her. That conversation with Phillip was one of the hardest conversations she'd ever had to have.
She just hoped she could put herself together again before they arrived in London in a short two days-time.