Hey!! So sorry it's been a little while since my last update. I've been trying to keep up with my other story The Kiss and Our Past so I apologize. I'm letting you know now this won't be the longest chapter, but I hope you enjoy reading it none the less. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed!!
The darkness was welcoming, as always. I knew it well. It was my home now. Dan might have finally gotten caught, but I still had my memories and bad dreams. They would keep me company. I always imagined the day my dad stopped hitting me to be one of relief and happiness. I was wrong again like usual. I was no longer me, I was numb. Gone and never coming back.
I would keep myself
I would find a way
Brooke couldn't believe they wouldn't let her go with her boyfriend to the police station! She wasn't family?! That's bull shit she loved Nathan with all her heart they were each other's family. Brooke felt like something was seriously wrong and she hadn't talked to Lucas or Peyton about Nathan admitting to what they always suspected about Dan hitting Nathan. She grabbed her purse and went to the cafe to find them.
She ran in and saw Lucas with Peyton, his mom and his uncle.
"I need to talk to you both asap." She said in a rush when she walked up to them.
"Did you see those cop cars heading towards Nathan's house?" Lucas asked worriedly.
"Yeah they came to my house and took him in for questioning." I said looking at Lucas and Peyton. Keith and Karen were standing behind the counter listening.
"They took him so we were right weren't we?" Peyton asked making sure.
"Yes he told me everything. It was the most heartbreaking thing I've ever heard its been going on since he was 12 and he never told anyone." She said sadly feeling even worse.
"Why didn't you go with him to the station?" Karen asked coming out from behind the counter with Keith right behind her.
"They wouldn't let me because I'm not family." Brooke said angrily.
"Brooke Nathan confessed to you that Dan's been abusing him since he was 12?" Keith asked looking sadly at his nephews girlfriend. He just couldn't believe his brother was such a horrible father. He knew deep down that he mistreated Nathan but he didn't know it was this bad.
"He told me everything. Nathan went home this morning to get clothes and when he got back he said his mom was freaking out because he's got a black eye and a bruised cheek. He didn't tell her but his dad walked in and he told his mom to talk to him then a while later the cops came." She spit out in one breath trying to catch everyone up on what she knew.
"They must be questioning all three of them we should get down there." Lucas said.
"Luke I'll take you." Keith offered. Karen had to stay behind at the cafe and the other two girls went with Keith and Lucas. There was a semi tense silence. Everyone felt awful for Nathan and Brooke couldn't shake this bad feeling she had.
"B. Davis what's wrong?" Peyton asked from next to her.
"I have a really bad feeling Peyt something's wrong." She said worriedly. She needed to be there with Nathan. She was afraid if he had to tell the whole story again he'd shut down.
"When did he tell you all of this?" She asked.
"Last night I went to his house to talk and I saw Dan hitting him and without thinking I ran in and me and Nathan ran out to my house. He broke down and told me what's been going on." She said wanting to get there as fast as possible. She didn't feel right she was so worried. Finally they pulled in and parked.
They 4 of them walked in frantically and were stopped by a cop.
"Can I help you?" He asked. They all saw Dan in the holding cell and it all became that much more real.
"We need to see Nathan Scott." Brooke said after looking around quickly and not seeing him anywhere.
"I can't do anything for you. He's in questioning and that can't be disturbed." He said looking at all of them.
"And no one's supposed to be here who isn't family." He said judgingly.
"I'm his brother!" Lucas spoke up angrily. Peyton grabbed his hand to calm him down.
"We are family. I'm his uncle." Keith said patting Lucas' shoulder knowing how scared he was about he and Nathan's father being an evil asshole.
"It doesn't matter you can wait, but you can't see Nathan until he's out of questioning." The cop said and walked away. Deb walked out of her room looking bruised and battered.
"Oh god Deb!" Keith said as the rest followed.
"He's been abusing Nathan. He's a monster." She cried out.
"We know we just found out." Keith said and tried to hug her for comfort.
"Nathan ran away and told everyone he came to see me, but it was after Dan had attacked him and I don't know where he was, but I was always gone I didn't notice." She broke down. She felt like the worst person in the world. Her own son and she didn't know. Keith walked her over to a chair and sat with her.
"Nathan didn't come to see you." Lucas didn't ask he said. They all knew he was lying, but why was he in Charlotte in the first place? It didn't matter at the moment Dan was in jail finally for hurting Nathan. Brooke couldn't shake her feeling she needed to be in there with him.
"I have to see Nathan." She said determined and as she got up Detective Collin came out.
"I think I need an ambulance." He said in a panic.
"Is Nathan in there?" She asked concerned.
"Yes he is I was asking him questions and he just blacked out without warning I don't know what happened, but he won't wake up." He said. Other cops had come over.
"What's going on?" The one who came up to them earlier asked. Brooke didn't wait for the detective to say it again. She pushed past and went into the room. Her heart broke seeing Nathan on the ground completely withdrawn. She knew this would happen. She ran in.
"Hey you're not aloud in there!" The cop yelled. He was the chief of police and kind of an asshole.
"Nathan baby come on wake up!" Brooke said bending down and cupping his face in her hands. His breathing was shallow and she should've insisted on coming with him anyway. She was so scared this would happen. Brooke knew he would shut down if he had to talk about it.
I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
"Please Nathan come back to me." She begged holding him in her arms. Lucas, Peyton, Keith, Deb, Detective Collin, and the chief came in and watched a little surprised she would try to wake him up after Collin already tried what she did. Tears welled up in Brooke's eyes. He had just told her the night before about this he wasn't ready to tell strangers.
"Scott come on." She pleaded and grabbed his hands placing them over her heart like she had done the night before.
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
"We need an ambulance he's blacked out." Collin said pulling out his cell phone.
"This isn't medical it's all emotional." Brooke spat at them.
"Emotional what the hell does that mean?" The chief asked.
"You can't just expect him to tell all you strangers his deepest secret and he'd be perfectly fine. His bastard father abused him for years scaring him to death so he wouldn't ever tell." She explained her voice rising with every word. They all stared at her trying to console Nathan.
'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel light when you're gone away
"Will you close the door and give me a minute with him?" She yelled impatiently.
"You aren't family you aren't supposed to be in here with him." Chief Roberts said. He was really starting to piss Brooke off.
"Look I don't give a fuck if I'm not blood related to him he's my boyfriend and he needs me so back the hell off and give me one damn minute alone with him I can help him you don't need an ambulance!" Brooke yelled venomously and at that moment all of them were afraid of her.
"You get 10 minutes." Chief said trying to cover up him being intimidated by Brooke.
"Thank you." She said exasperated. They closed the door and left her alone with Nathan. She gathered as much of him in her arms as she could. His eyes were closed and his breathing was at unusual patterns.
"Baby please come back to me." Brooke begged as her tears began to fall. She gently rocked him.
"I love you Nathan Scott and I promised to save you." She sobbed placing her palm on his rapidly beating heart. It was beating way too fast.
The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
"Scott you can do it just open you eyes." She said as she lifted her hand to wipe her tears. She took his hand and replaced it back onto her also fast beating heart, but it wasn't as fast as Nathan's. She bit her cheek to keep from sobbing. She gently ran her fingers through his hair.
"Please don't leave me Nathan." She whispered brokenly. She knew that physically he'd still be here it wasn't like he was dead. But on the inside it would be that way. He wouldn't let her in again. He'd put his thick and high walls right back up and completely shut the world out. It was like he passed out from all the stress and exhaustion of keeping such a huge secret for so long. She felt terrible for him and she wanted to help him.
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
I was in my shell. I didn't want to be apart of the real world anymore. I didn't want to see everyone's pity stares knowing I was a victim. It wasn't worth it. Life wasn't even worth living anymore. Somehow even with my dad behind bars I'd always remember no matter what. It would haunt me forever and no one could save me from my nightmares.
I felt still, light and completely worthless. Being nothing permanantley felt strange. Eventually I'd open my eyes, but I would refuse to see anything. I'd move without feeling it. I'd function out of habit. This was my life now. I wasn't Nathan Scott at all. Everyone would forget about him at some point. They would realize that he's dead and never coming back. What I was now I didn't even know what to call it. I was broken. That was the perfect way to describe me. I was all set on my new life, but I kept hearing soft sobs and I knew who it was immediately. I felt my heart race and it shouldn't be. In the darkness its slow and calm heartbeats. It beats just enough to keep me alive, but the second she showed up it sped out of control.
'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
I didn't want to hear what she was saying. I warned her of this the first night we spent together. I knew I'd hurt her and I had to do this before it became to unbearable to leave her. My body betrayed me as she gathered me in her arms and my ears listened to her quiet pleas for me to come back. I wasn't strong enough for that. I couldn't in the end I'd hurt her way more and she didn't deserve that. She needed to let me go.
"I love you Nathan Scott and I promised to save you."
My rapidly beating heart clenched hearing that. She loved me and she was trying to save me. I could never be with her when I have all this baggage. It was too much for one person to handle. I wouldn't dump it all on her. I had done that enough already. I should've just walked away that night before it got too deep. It wouldn't have mattered much anyway I was already in way too deep by then.
'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
"Scott you can do it open your eyes."
That was it. I couldn't do it. I was too weak. I was too far gone. Against my will I felt her grab my hand and place it on her beating heart. I thought about last night when she did that. My heart got really tight again. I was hurting her I felt her tears on my cheeks like last night. It was as if she could feel my pain. She was here trying to absorb all of my pain and misery. I couldn't give it to her she never did anything to deserve any of it. It was my pain and misery.
"Please don't leave me Nathan."
She sounded as broken as I was. She was begging for me to stay with her and be with her. It wasn't fair to Brooke. Didn't she know that she deserved the best and I was as far from that as she could get? I didn't want to leave her. She was to late though. I was gone. Her heart continued to beat faster and faster. It was out of panic, worry, and love. As worried and panicked she was that I wouldn't come back from this her love for me went ten times deeper than that. I could feel it as she brought my hand that was against her heart to her lips. I was starting to feel again. Brooke was actually bringing me back.
She should know that this is where I belonged. She belonged in happiness I belonged in darkness and misery. Dan always said I'd never be good enough and I wasn't. I wasn't good enough as a son, I wasn't good enough as a brother, and I wasn't good enough as a boyfriend.
"Baby please don't leave me I need you."
She started crying again. Her whole body by now was wracked with sobs and that was causing me to start shaking with her. Brooke could do so much better and even though I knew that it didn't stop me from loving her so much. I loved her to the point it hurt to breathe. It hurt when I wasn't around her and right now as she cried over me asking me to come back to her it hurt knowing I was the reason she was crying.
"You promised to always come back to me."
Brooke sobbed that part out and I heard her perfectly clear. The darkness was becoming lighter. I felt her run her fingers through my hair. She was absolutely right I did promise to come back to her after she told me she'd always save me. She had definitely done that on more than one occasion. I felt her cup my cheek with her shaking hand and stroke it gently. I shivered suddenly.
Brooke gently ran her fingers through his hair again because having his hand against her heart didn't look like it was working. She gently placed her palm on his cheek as her heart continued to ache for him. She stroked his face softly when she felt his whole body shiver. Her eyes widened.
"Nathan!" She said continuing to stroke his face.
"It's okay baby come back." She said happily that she got a response from him. More tears poured out as he leaned into her palm.
I didn't feel as light anymore. I felt almost as heavy as I normally do. I could hear my own breathing and my heart was about to burst out of my chest. She kept stroking my face and I couldn't help but lean into her touch. She was warm she was home. I could never feel complete with anyone else. I had never felt safe with anyone else. She was still crying and my stomach turned in knots of pain.
"Brooke." I whispered barely hearing that myself. I wondered if she did.
"Nathan oh my god!" She sobbed and ran her hand across my cheek and I shivered again.
"Where are we?" I struggled to say. My eyelids were still heavy, but I felt alive.
"We're at the police station. You shut yourself down during questioning." I could hear the pain in her voice. She must have known this would happen and that's why she was here.
"I'm sorry." I said quietly as my eyelids began to lighten and the darkness was fading away.
"It's okay just come back to me Nathan." She was begging me again to come back. She needed me. She loved me. That made me smile, and the sudden movement was the last straw and I opened my eyes. The darkness was gone and I was staring into the beautiful hazel eyes of my angel. She was still crying, but she had never looked more beautiful to me.
"I love you." I whispered to her. Just saying that didn't even come close to how I felt about her, but it was all I could think to say right now. She smiled at and wiped away the tears that fell on my face. I caught her hand and kissed it softly missing really feeling her.
'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
"I love you to." She said quietly. We continued to stare at each other. I wanted to tell her how much she meant to me and how sorry I was for hurting her. I think she might have been able to tell by the way I was looking at her. The truth was I needed to see her, I needed to be with her, and I needed to love her. That was the only thing that has kept me alive and the only thing that keeps bringing me back.
"You really scared me." She said trying to bite back a sob and she covered her mouth. My heart ached for her again.
"I'm so sorry I didn't mean to." I said not really sure if that was true. Of course I didn't want to scare her, but for her sake I tried to stay away. I couldn't though. Her love had saved me from myself once again. She nodded as the tears cascaded down her face.
"You know what brought me back?" I whispered as she tried to stop crying.
"What?" She asked quietly. I grabbed onto her hand and put our conjoined hands on her heart for a second then I put them on my heart.
"You." I said while our hands were still placed on my heart. She smiled again and leaned down to kiss me. As soon as our lips touched I remembered every reason why living was worth it. She started to pull away and I pulled her closer by our hands and deepened the kiss.
It hurt. It always did. I always felt like I couldn't be close enough to her. I needed her. I pulled her head towards me to get closer. If it was ever possible to love someone too much I definitely think that was the case with me and Brooke. I knew she felt the same way. Our kiss was desperate. We needed it and couldn't live without it. I was running out of air and so was she. She pulled back breathing heavily.
"Don't ever scare me like that again." She whispered vulnerably.
"I won't." I promised. It was the last thing I ever wanted to do.
We stayed like that for a while. She was still holding me because I was on the floor. I refused to tear my eyes away from her for a second fearing I would slip back into the darkness away from her. I could tell she was thinking the same thing. I gave her a small smile reassuring her that as long as she was here I wasn't leaving her again.
'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
TBC
Thanks so much for reading!! I really hope you liked it. Please drop a review you don't know how much it means to me!! 'Broken' by Seether ft. Amy Lee.
xoxo Marissa Davis