(A/N: Hey all! I broke the one hundred review marker! WOO-HOO! As you may, or may not have noticed, ruler funtion isn't workin' right now. So, I improvised a little. Aside from that, here's last chappie's heart-pounding conclusion! Enjoy!)
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Team A
Paper ripped! People screamed! Heero and Duo caught a glance of the palette beside them. It was filled with rapidly disappearing iPod Nanos. While it wasn't an item on either pilot's list, it was on Mitsuki's so this was their first stop.
Pilot's 1 & 2 saw how the people were scrambling; this was pure, unadulterated insanity! Would they let themselves, The Perfect Soldier and The God of Death, be brought to this level? Of course not!
But, when they saw how fast those things were disappearing...
…and how many people were elbowing and shoving them out of the way...
…and stepping on their feet...
…and how many carts were ramming into their spines…
Heero saw a gap open in the maddened bargain hunters and quickly decided to make his move: he dove through the opening!
He got his hand around one of the boxes only to have it ripped from his hands by a 10 year old boy! Now that was an insult!
Duo had, by a stroke of luck, managed to get in close to the near empty palette and, with a Devil-May-Care grin on his face, stretched an arm towards a box.
"I think I've got-" he thought gleefully when…pain shot through his head! Someone, soon to be a DEAD someone, had just had the gall to pull Duo's hair! Oh, they were gonna pay for tha-!
"OUCH!" someone shouted from behind him, "Aauuhh, god…DAMNIT, YOU FREAK!"
Heero and Duo turned to see a poofy haired blonde doubled over and holding her shin as blood oozed from it. Dashing away from the woman pushing an emptied palette was Mitsuki, her cleats tracking a little bit of blood as she went.
Now normally, the terrorists would have tried to think up some excuse for this…but, this wasn't normally…
Smirking at one another, Pilots 1 & 2 turned back to the iPod Nanos, grabbed two, then joined Mitsuki in zigzagging between crazed shoppers.
"So…what's next?" Duo asked cheerfully as they jogged along.
"Duck." Mitsuki said calmly.
"Why do we require poultry-!" Heero never got to finish his sentence because the weighted purse of an elderly shopper collided with the side of his face as she made a dive for the recently acquired iPods.
"Oh, no ya don't!" Duo yelled, snatching a fake potted plant and ramming her in the stomach with it.
"Great save!" Mitsuki cheered, "Next stop, Sporting goods!"
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TEAM C
The ocean of people was ebbing and flowing every which way. Some were moving quick, some were jammed up completely. Quatre was starting to see that this was not going to be easy.
Just then, Sally grabbed him by his bicep and started dragging him along eventually forcing him onto an empty palette…well, near empty-Mimiru was standing on it, delivering kicks to the heads of any foolish bargain hunter who dared to try and steal it from her.
She stopped the moment Quatre plowed into her, making her sit down hard as Sally began pushing the palette through a horde of shoppers toward the toys section.
Good GOD! Children everywhere! Quatre remembered the earlier warnings, but he couldn't possibly hurt these little darlings! The poor things were probably terrified.
Most of them were cranky, and no wonder! What kind of parent would drag these sweet innocent little angels out of bed this early, and fan them in and out of the cold, and then expose them to this kind of madness?
Just then he saw a little girl, about 4, sitting in the child seat of a cart, left unattended! She was rubbing her eyes and sniffling, and clearly about to start wailing. Quatre, now completely disregarding the earlier warning, hopped off the palette and went over to calm her down.
"Hello. What's your name?" He thought that maybe talking would work, but her lower lip began to quiver even more, "Where's your mommy?"
Quatre hoped she would answer that one, he needed to find her parents. There was no telling what could happen to a child this small in a place like this.
And when he found her mother and/or father, he planned to give them an ear full on responsibility! But, no dice. She wouldn't speak. One more try.
"Little girl, Can you tell me where your mommy is?" This time, it looked like she might respond. She opened her mouth, then, to his shock…
"STRAAAANGEEEERRRRRR!"
All eyes were on him! He started stuttering as badly as Michiru, "N-no- I was just- I, mean, I-!"
"Winner, you dumbass." Mimiru growled, getting him in a headlock and running off with him as the child's mother came dashing up from out of nowhere.
"This is why we listen, Winner." She growled, forcing him back on the palette, "While you were playing Good Samaritan, that kid's dad and her sibs made off with most of our goods."
"Doh't woowy." Sally said through a bloodied nose, situating items on the palette, "Ah gah'em back."
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TEAM B
Wufei was completely absorbed in the chaos of the situation. He had endured countless combat scenarios and battle simulations…and he was pretty sure none of them included dealing with three hundred pound women crammed into size four jeans fighting their way to displays of jewelry.
He was snapped out of his daze when he felt someone tap him on the shoulder. Thinking it might be the introvert Michiru with a question, Wufei turned around to see...
-BAM-
…oooeeooo…purdy stars…
Wufei was sitting on the floor now, against a sapphire display case, right behind the palette. How he got there, God only knows. The event replayed in his mind. He knew there was a fist involved in there somewhere…
"Outta my way skinneh!" a rather beefed up woman snarled at him, "Yer blockin' the path!"
"Woo…can anybody here say…psycho?" Wufei thought as he pulled himself up. Part of him, and you can guess which, wanted to stay and put these women in their place, but, he instead, sat back down on the palette which Noin promptly pushed away.
He scowled back at those irrational people and then glanced down at the palette. Something wasn't Kosher.
One of the radios Michiru had managed to grab at the start of this insanity was gone! The giggling of a child caught his attention. He turned in the direction the noise was coming from, and saw a boy, maybe 6, holding a Sirius radio, and laughing…at him!
He was about to go and demand that his property be returned, when he caught the sight of little hands out the corner of his eye.
Another child, about the same age, had reached under his knees and snagged a Nintendo DS that Noin had lost a large chunk of hair for. And after committing this act of thievery against the Shenlong Pilot, he took full advantage of his small size and disappeared into the crowd.
"I can NOT…believe what I just saw!"
The black haired, pony-tailed shoulder angel that had been sitting on his shoulder all morning had apparently decided that it was time for a coffee break. He got up, stretched his wings, and tagged out.
Not long after a braided mini-man with 2 red horns jutting out of his forehead and a pitchfork in his hand (yes, he equates Duo with the Devil…sad aint it?) tagged in.
Very soon, Wufei heard an evil little voice telling him that it was time to stop dicking around.
"Heeeeee…N-Noin-san…Ch-Ch-Ch-Chang-san's gotta sc-scary look on his f-f-face." Michiru whimpered, scooching away from him.
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TEAM D
Trowa looked around. He couldn't use actual weapons on innocent bystandards that surrounded him…besides he was one bullet short of a full arsenal anyway.
At any rate, if he really needed to, he could just snatch Mikura's bokuto from her, but at the moment, she was doing a good job on her own knocking away the people who got in their path.
So far, they had managed to acquire every item on all three lists with little to no setbacks…okay, with very minimal obstacles…oh alright, with huge number of set backs.
Mikura had whacked a old man (who you should all know was on oxygen) sharply on the hand with her bokuto as he attempted to lift a copy of Karaoke Revolution for PS2.
Seeing her "Sweet, Ole, Grand-daddy" being quote un quote assaulted, the grand-daughter of Ole Sticky Fingers retaliated by giving Misaki, in a case of mistaken identity, a black eye.
Misaki, thoroughly pissed, dove on her and proceeded to punch the girl in the head until she was unconscious…then looted her cart just to pour salt on the wound.
The mother of the girl, seeing what Misaki had done, rushed over to get revenge for what had been done to her child and Mikura, who had done nothing wrong, was bitch slapped across the face.
Trowa, not about to let that happen to his charge sitting down and Misaki, being naturally protective of her sibling, both advanced and kicked the middle aged woman in the head, sending her to join her child in the Land of All Things Unconscious.
During all this, Ole Sticky Fingers had summoned the mall cops, feigning distress as he eyed the goods their palette contained.
They quickly shook off the Rent-A-Cops and were now on their way to the rendezvous point, Mikura chewing both Trowa AND Misaki out as they went.
"Honestly, that was low and you know it." Mikura scowled as they turned into Target.
"Hey, she was askin' for it." Misaki shot back as Trowa pushed the palette towards Feminine Hygene, "No one hits my sister."
"I'm talking about that CART, idiot!" Mikura shouted, "I can NOT believe you actually LOOTED! Mimi's gonna bust a GASKET!"
"Oh shut your trap!" Misaki retorted, "I saw you pinch that Rammstein CD! So don't even-!"
"Enough bickering." Trowa declared as they pulled into the deserted aisle, "Let's relax while we can."
Scowling first at him, then at each other, they gave curt nods and hugged their knees to their chests, perfect mirrors of one another.
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"Everyone okay?" Noin asked as TEAM B pulled into the empty aisle.
"Been better." Mikura sulked, then seeing her shivering sister, climbed off the palette, Misaki following, and sat down next to Michiru.
"Hey…are you alright?" she asked worriedly.
"Yeah, you're as white as a sheet." Misaki said, putting an arm around her sister's shoulders.
"OHITWASAWFUL!" Michiru shrieked, burying her head in her arms, "He grabbed an extension cord and started whipping everybody, ranting about women being the scourge of the earth and how he would rain down justice on us all!"
"I had to knock him out." Noin sighed, patting the back of Wufei's (currently unconscious) head, "It was for his own good. He was gonna get castrated by a group of nearby feminists."
"Say whuh?" Duo asked as he, Heero and Mitsuki pulled up, "Whose gonna get castrated?"
"I think, Duo, this is one of those, don't ask, don't tell things." Mitsuki snorted, "Hey, Michi? Are you okay?"
"No, I'm not! I wanna go back huh-huh-huh-home!" Michiru sobbed, "I want my Daddy! I want my bed! I want my lab!"
"You'll see'm Christbus Day." Sally said reassuringly (remember, she got nailed in the puss), urging the cart against the wall, "And, if all goes well, yeh'll beh 'lowed t' go hobe af'er. Now get a hold a yehself."
"Hysterics never helped anyone." Mimiru said calmly, "Well…except the Ramseys (1)."
"I suggest move to front of the store now." Heero said coolly, "Before the registers become congested with other customers."
"Agreed." Quatre nodded, "I made a near fatal mistake earlier that put Sally in her current state. I will not make another one."
"I was about to ask about that that." Duo smirked, "But oh well. So goes another mystery of life."
"Ha, ha." Noin sai sarcastically as they moved towards the registers, "Let's move onto another topic, shall we?"
"Oh it's not so bad." Mitsuki sighed, "At least he's not asking why toast always lands jelly side down."
"Ya know I have always wondered about that." Misaki chimed, drawing a groan from her sister.
"Hey, me too!" Quatre said with a smile, drawning a small groan from Noin.
"Ugh, my head." Wufei groaned as he regained consciousness, "…why do I have the sudden urge to beat Noin over the head with a bat?"
"Don't trouble yourself over it." Trowa said mildly, surpressing a small laugh as the Chinese teen looked around woozily.
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The group paid for their items, and made a mad dash for the front of the store with Trowa carrying the half conscious Wufei on his back. They wanted out of there and NOW!
Just as they got outside the exit – and Mikura's bokuto, Mimiru and Mitsuki's feet and Wufei/Noin's extension cord-whip had provided plenty of assistance in getting them all that far – they found yet another problem.
Ole Sticky Fingers, the Rent-A-Cops, the girl who had punched Misaki and her mama who bitch slapped Mikura were waiting outside. When they spotted TEAM D, the elderly thief pointed a crooked finger and cried, "There they are! They're th' ones, Officer!"
All this, and now they were going to spend their Christmas in juvenile hall and prison? They thought about making a break for it, but where could they go? There was another cop (the real deal this time peeps) in the patrol car right in front of them!
Just when the officer started to advance on the group, they heard a horn blaring. They looked up to see (much to Duo's AND Heero's dismay) Milliardo and Relena Peacecraft manning the SUV.
Milliardo leaning over from the driver's seat of SUV As Relena threw the side door open.
"You coming?" she asked, smiling as her brother lit the first smoke he'd had that day. For once in his life, Duo was glad to see the man and smiled despite himself.
Without a second thought, Pilots 1-5, Sally, Noin and the Sugino girls bolted for the SUV, the cop chasing them halfway there.
"Hey! Get back here! STOP!"
Michiru slammed the door forcefully shut as Noin dove for Shotgun and Milliardo floored the gas, causing everyone else who had yet to find their seats to fly back against the back of the vehicle with their purchases.
"Rough day?" he asked, not bothering to remove the cigarette from his mouth.
"…you could say that." Duo replied climbing to his feet to strap himself in.
"Hey, you survived." Relena said tactfully from her place on the bench seat across from him, "That's what counts."
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(1) The Ramseys - as in the parents of JonBenet Ramsey, who was found dead in the basement of her home in Boulder Colorado. The Boulder police and a large proportion of the world's media believed that her parents, John and Patsy Ramsey, were responsible for her death.
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(A/N: Christmas time comes! Sugino Hatake gets a one-day pass to visit with his daughters, then the Hell Hole that is school is back in session trouble is already looming on the horizon. R&R!)