Chapter 25: Falling Down
I felt a blade go through my right side, the same spot where Souichirou hit me the night before. It was the last spot where my circuits were numb. The blood was warm as it ran down my side and out of the corners of my mouth. The sword revealed itself before Archer did. He drew me in so he was right next to my ear.
"You played dirty until the end, like a true mage. I'm sure Hell will welcome you, Hazel Matterhorn." He released his weapon and I fell on all fours. I held the wound with my left hand, trying to start healing. Lancer appeared next to me.
"You bastard!" He screamed.
"Lancer." I said, looking at him as I spat blood. "Kick his ass." I fell fully on the ground now. The intensity in his eyes was not like the other times we fought. That beast like fury mentioned in his legend was something I could see now. He leapt away without hesitation and ran straight for Archer. I'd give him one minute, maybe less before Lancer pierced his heart, now that Archer couldn't use me as a human shield.
I laid down, looking up to the stars. I began to heal my insides. The organs mostly, but the bleeding was important too. I heard footsteps. Rin limped over and sat next to my left side. She looked torn, not pleased with what had happened. She should have been, she got what she wanted.
"You're not smiling?" I asked, softly. "You wanted me to die."
"I just wanted to win." Rin remarked. She had a simple desire, but one like that would make you do drastic things. Now she didn't have a chance.
"That's right." I said faintly, trying to focus on the wound. She covered her face. I could see tears drop onto her black skirt.
"Why am I crying over you?" Rin asked wiping tears from her face. "What you've done. I should be proud but, I don't know." She was confused by her emotions. I remember being that age and always trying to look tough.
"What Rin?" I asked.
"If that's what he'll become, I want to do everything to stop it." She replied referring to Archer. "But you're like him, why do I feel sorry?" She still cared about others underneath her shield. It was good to see she still had that even after being raised by someone like Kirei. But as far as Archer went, it seemed the choice and the end result drove him mad. He could have been proud of his ability or focus on people like Rin who enjoyed his company. But he made a decision, and he was so determined to claim he was right that he ended up becoming his own enemy.
"Because we are trained to cry when people are hurt. At least the priest didn't strip you of that." I began, cringing with pain. I glanced over seeing the flash of the Gae Bolg. Archer was barely holding out now, though they both looked determined I knew it was a one sided match. "They know as warriors that they will see death. After a while it begins to glaze over you, but you still remember those you kill." I felt the locket that was tucked in my shirt. I used my fingers to drag it out so she could see. "I think Archer still wants the same thing as Shirou. He made a choice that he couldn't go back on. But he is mad with himself because at first he thought it was a good idea."
"Why did you kill your sister?" Rin asked, looking at the picture in the locket. I coughed a bit, but was still healing my side, it was taking longer than expected, probably just from using that spell on Archer.
"We simply opposed sides. I wish it was different now, but I knew I had to move on." I had said it multiple times but I wanted her to hear it now. She still had family, though they had been separated. "Life is an exploration and people change. I'm sure if you talk to Sakura, you will see that you both have the same pain with what happened." I coughed again, trying to clear my airway. "You don't have to promise me anything, but I'm sure if you make an effort you will see a difference. Otherwise everything will stay the same." I heard two blades drop and turned my head.
"Archer!" Rin stood. The sight would be gruesome to her. Lancer had impaled his weapon through Archer's heart. Hard enough that the spear head poked out through his back. She ran to her servant to catch him and Lancer withdrew his weapon.
"Rin." Archer said. "Don't let me go down this path." His face turned to look at me. Smiling before he faded away. I guess no matter how this fight ended, both sides would lose something. Rin sat there kneeling, but I looked at my servant's face. His eyes showed he was still out for revenge.
"Lancer." I whispered but he didn't hear me and attacked her.
Rin ran, throwing whatever jewels she had. She was scared, I would have been too. He dodged them and kicked her hard into the wall that separated the walk from the river. The impact left a dent in the cement. She tried to get up and crawl away but Lancer put his right foot over her left arm to pin her down, then directed the point of the spear toward her head.
"You think this is a game? That waste of a life didn't care for anyone but himself!" Lancer shouted. "He was never your partner. But you insult my loyalty, make me stab my own Master?!" His grip tightened around his weapon. "It ends here for you. I'll have your heart." He drew his weapon back. I had to break him from this. It was like watching an animal hunt, they wouldn't stop until their prey was dead. Rin was petrified enough, and there was something wrong with my circuits.
"Lancer. Don't kill Rin Tohsaka." I commanded it and saw the flash of red. My second seal was used just in time. The Gae Bolg stopped right above her heart. But his hands were trembling along with the demonic spear, the look in his eyes was fierce. He wanted to disobey my command.
"Hazel." He snarled, upset. But he wasn't the kind to kill someone that was no longer a part of this war. This action was something I'd expect from the King of Heroes, not the Child of Light.
"You're not like this." I scolded, coughing. "She isn't our biggest concern." I had to figure out what where the problem was. It felt like one of the connections to my circuits had been shattered, or just inactive. I would need a major boost to reengage them.
"Luck was on your side tonight, little lady." Lancer responded and backed off. He came over and cradled me in his arms like the night before, then we left the scene without another word.
He carried me through the city as I continued to focus on my wound. I was certain now that the injury I received the night prior was making this difficult. Archer managed to sever a connection in my circuits that Caster's Master had started. Like driving a wedge through a log until it splits. It was a small link, and a jolt of electricity would snap the circuits back into place so I could stop the bleeding. I wasn't focused on where we were going. After a few minutes, Lancer landed on the ground. We were at the junkyard.
"This right?" He asked, setting me down next to the transformer. It was good he remembered.
"I can do this, just stay back." I went to perform the task, kneeling and placing my hand on the transformer as I did plenty of times before. I was relaxed but that feeling was brief.
Nothing was happening. I kept looking for different outlets but no matter what I couldn't tap into the power. I feared this, that with my crest I would lose something. I punched the transformer, tears running down.
"Damn, it won't work." It was setting in. This was my last resort. The blood was still flowing out slowly, and I would be dead within the hour. I couldn't do anything now. I had to accept it, that this would be my last night alive. My tears began to stream down. We were so close. I knew I would die eventually but I didn't get to redeem myself for what I did for Bazett. Instead I fell at the hands of a man who betrayed his own ideal. All I wanted now was to be secluded.
"Hazel." Lancer said.
"Take me to the tunnel." I commanded. I wanted to be somewhere familiar. He picked me up and we went there.
The entire way I was trying to relax, but truth was I was scared. The only good thing was that I had someone here. Someone I never thought I'd get along with based on how this partnership started. But even with that comfort, it meant leaving him alone. Having to make him watch another friend die. We arrived at the tunnel, the same one that I met Waver. I held this place dear to my heart.
"This all right?" He asked, sitting down. He cradled me in his arms as I held my side.
"Yeah." I said, coughing. He looked mad with himself, but his anger should have been directed at me. "You know, if I made you kill yourself, you'd never forgive me."
"I'd understand if this was the outcome." He said. I shook my head.
"I shouldn't have played hero." I replied. That was true now. I wanted to fight Archer too, but after Lancer had stabbed me, I could tell his fear that he would kill me was greater than his desire to kill. Maybe he still saw Emer, but his pain seemed to go beyond that.
"I saw your eyes, it was hurting you inside. And my confidence can go too far." I said. I put my right hand on his warm face and he put his hand over mine. "Lancer, thank you for what you've done. I have most of the organs repaired, but Archer damaged one of my circuits. It's small, but I can't close the wound to stop the bleeding. And, I've lost too much blood already." I sighed. "This sucks."
"What?" He asked.
"Being a damsel in distress." I wanted to make him smile, but he just grabbed my hand tighter.
"You fought well but you have to keep going." He said. I thought about what I said to Rin. She still clung to that desire of survival like I did.
"Rin doesn't get it. But I'm like that too. Trying so hard to get what I want that I've strayed. I can't change my past, but I kept moving." I coughed up more blood.
"Don't strain yourself." He said, placing his hand over my wound.
"Keep pressure there." I said, holding my hand over his. It was sad that I didn't get to see his fights with Assassin or Rider. I'm sure it would have been everything I imagined. "I wish I could have seen you fight more." I mumbled out.
"Don't say that, you will." He had faith I would make it, but with a broken circuit, it was impossible to stop the bleeding.
"I'm tired Cu Chulainn." It was the first time I had used his true name since we became partners in this war. Maybe it was because I was afraid of attachment, and now I was accepting that he was more than just a Servant to me. But reality had to set in. He didn't need to enchant me with hope. I knew this was the end of the line. "You don't have to lie to me if I'm dying. I can feel my body getting cold."
"Here." Lancer sat me up. He was now hugging me tight. I used my left hand to hold my side and I curled my fingers around the gold ring that held his ponytail together. His body was warm, but now that I was beginning to wane, I thought about the other man I was leaving behind. The other soul on this planet who cared about my wellbeing, when everyone else wanted me to die.
"How am I going to explain this to Waver?" I whispered.
"I'll take care of it." Lancer responded, but I didn't know how he would be able to do that.
"But you won't have much time left." I said and dragged his left hand to the phone in my pocket. "Just call him, say I'm sorry I broke my last promise." I began to cry again. Even to the end I couldn't keep one promise. I only wished Waver would be happy with himself. The life he had now. "He'll be upset, but will understand." It was all I could tell him. All Waver needed to hear me say. But I could feel my eye lids getting heavy, my breathing slowing down.
"I need to sleep." I whispered.
"No." Cu said, holding me tighter. He pressed his right hand against the back of my head. His fingers curled around my black wavy hair. "If I ask one thing, just keep talking."
"I'll try." I replied, clinging to his ponytail again. I smiled, thinking of the times we had together in this war. I had no idea going into this that I would find another partner in battle. Another person who saw past my faults.
"You know, I never thought I would find someone like you." I started. "A person who understands me as a fighter. Why I did what I did." I said. Today was great, despite this moment. "It's been nice, just to hear another voice of reason. Laugh with someone from another time."
"Hazel." He sounded grim. It was setting in what I was saying. And if this was the last time he'd hear me speak, he needed to know that he was important to me.
"If I do die from this, I'm glad you chose me as your Master." I closed my eyes, I needed rest.
"Hazel, please stay. Hazel…speak…please…!" Though his cries grew louder, I fell deeper into sleep. His voice just faded until all I could hear was silence…