BISCUITS WITH A SIDE OF BETRAYAL
by Warviben
Summary: Voldemort has been defeated, and Harry has returned to Hogwarts to finish his education. He approaches Severus Snape, who has survived Nagini's bite, for information regarding his mother. Snape proposes a trade.
Warnings: This fic will eventually contain a relationship between the two male lead characters. If this sort of thing isn't your cup of tea, please save yourself the stress of reading further. Also, there is contained herein a description of the sexual abuse and attempted rape of a child.
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Chapter Twenty-five
"Excuse me, Harry Potter?" a shy female voice asked. Harry, his head bent over a book in the library, had not heard her approach.
"Yes?"
"I have a message from the Headmistress. She'd like to see you."
"Did she say when?"
"Now."
"Oh. Thank you." Harry closed his book and stood up. He wondered what the Headmistress wanted. He'd received the results of his Transfiguration NEWT – he'd scored an Outstanding. He hadn't seen McGonagall since he'd received the result – perhaps she wanted to congratulate him?
He pondered what other possible reasons the Headmistress might have for summoning him on his walk to her office. He'd certainly not gotten into any trouble. He'd been a model student since returning for his eighth year, keeping mostly to himself, applying himself to his studies. He wasn't worried exactly, but it was difficult not to feel a certain sense of trepidation when summoned by one's Headmistress.
He was surprised when he found Severus already in McGonagall's office when he arrived. "Good evening," he greeted the Headmistress. Then he turned a bright smile on Snape. "Professor."
"Mr. Potter," Snape greeted him with a nod.
"Thank you for coming so quickly, Harry," the Headmistress said. "I shall have the house elves send up tea."
She turned to the floo to take care of this, and Harry turned to Severus and mouthed, "What's going on?"
Severus' shrug was his only answer.
After the elves had served and they were all seated, McGonagall behind her desk and the two men in front of it, Severus asked, "Now perhaps you will tell us why you have asked us both here," as he set his cup down into the saucer.
"Yes," McGonagall said, fidgeting with her biscuit. "I have received a . . . complaint. About the two of you."
Harry and Severus exchanged a quick, surprised glance.
"Us?" Harry said. "What sort of complaint?"
"Well, the information I have been given implies that you have been engaging in a relationship that is . . . not appropriate for a student and a teacher."
Harry looked at Snape again. He suspected his eyebrows were just as high on his forehead as Snape's were. Harry was struck with an overwhelming urge to laugh out loud, which he suppressed with great effort.
"Headmistress, really," Snape said with dignity. "Perhaps if you tell me who has made these allegations, I can put your mind at ease regarding a likely motivation for these outrageous accusations."
"Are you saying they are untrue?"
Snape couldn't outright lie to her, not after all she had done for him, and he was stumped for a moment as to what to say.
Harry was not. "Headmistress," he piped up into the silence, unable to keep the amusement he felt out of his voice. "I think it's fairly obvious that Draco Malfoy is the one who has come to you. He has made his animosity toward me plain, though I have tried to mend fences with him or, failing that, to stay away from him as much as possible." He debated quickly telling McGonagall that he thought Malfoy had poisoned him earlier in the year, but held back. He had no proof, after all.
The Headmistress' answer was the slightest nod of her head in acknowledgment of the accuracy of his guess.
"I refuse to sit here and listen to unfounded allegations against my character . . ." Severus began, hoping to defray suspicion and end this uncomfortable conversation before it began. But again Potter interposed again, this time laying a hand on Severus' arm as he did so.
"Professor," he said quietly, looking at Snape. "Let me?"
Snape studied the boy's earnest expression for a moment. It was obvious to him that Potter intended to tell all to the Headmistress. Was he ready for this? Was he ready for anyone else to know what they had been doing, what they had planned for their lives? Did Harry really understand what he was doing by confessing his attachment to a much older, much less lovely man? In the end, all Snape could do was nod his agreement.
"As I believe you are aware," Harry began, turning his serious face to his Headmistress, "Severus and I have been meeting regularly in his office." McGonagall and Snape both raised an eyebrow at Harry's use of the first name. "We began doing this because I wanted to know more about my mother, and Severus was kind enough to agree to share his memories of her. We then discovered that we had a lot to talk about. We've been discussing our pasts, how they intertwined and intersected. We've been explaining why we did what we did. We've been talking a lot about Professor Dumbledore." Harry's eyes flicked to the Headmaster's portrait, empty at the moment.
"Over time, we've become . . . close. I'm eighteen, and there's no reason why we shouldn't explore this if we want to. It's no one's business but ours. If anyone thinks that Severus is taking it easy on me in potions, just because we're more than student/teacher, then they don't know him very well, and they haven't sat through one of our classes. But I assure you, Headmistress, that he has been nothing but professional during our time alone together. He has told me that he will not allow our relationship to progress into a more . . . physical one until I have left school completely. But you should know that as soon as I have taken my potions NEWT, we intend to explore what we have."
"Well, I certainly did not expect such honesty. It is refreshing, I must say. And in retrospect, it should not surprise me that you have found that you have so much in common. However, I would not be doing my job if I did not admonish you strongly that there should be no untoward behavior between the two of you whilst you are still a student here, Harry. Though it sounds like Severus has taken care of that already."
"You have my word, Headmistress, nothing inappropriate has happened, nor will it, until Mr. Potter leaves this institution," Severus lied only slightly.
"Thank you, Severus. That is good enough for me. Thank you, gentlemen. That will be all."
The two men rose to their feet and turned to make their way out. "Oh, and Mr. Potter?" the Headmistress said, stopping them both.
"Yes, ma'am?"
"Congratulations on your NEWT. You have worked very hard, and I am proud that you have done so well."
Harry's cheeks turned a pleased shade of pink. "Thank you, Professor."
"Good night, gentlemen," she said, dismissing them.
"Was that wise?" Severus asked as they headed away from the Headmistress' office.
"I didn't want to lie," Harry said with a shrug. "We aren't doing anything wrong. I'm not ashamed for anyone to know. I'd tell the whole world if there wasn't a reason to remain discrete. You're not, are you? Ashamed?"
"Why would I be ashamed?" Severus asked. "I've got a young, attractive, powerful wizard somehow attracted to me. I feel lucky and amazed and proud. But not ashamed. Never ashamed."
"Are you angry that I told her?"
"I would have liked to discuss it first, but no, I am not angry. I feel somewhat relieved actually. Now, if I forget myself and kiss you, I feel as though we almost have her blessing."
"Hmm. Any chance of that actually happening?" Harry asked hopefully.
"Well certainly not here," Snape said as they reached the point where their paths would diverge. "That would hardly be discrete, now would it?"
Harry looked quickly around, then grabbed hold of Severus' arm and pulled him into an alcove. He pushed the taller man up against the wall, went up on his toes, and kissed those thin lips he spent so much time fantasizing about. Snape's arms stole around the young man's back and pulled him up against his body, relishing the boy's heat as he ravished that sumptuous mouth. The kiss went on for a long time, and when it finally ended, Harry's forehead thunked down onto Severus' breastbone as he fought to regain normal breathing.
"No, not discrete at all," Severus murmured, but not in protest. "You are a bad, bad boy, Mr. Potter."
"Not as bad as I'd like to be."
Snape decided it was time to end this, before it went further than either of them were prepared for. He pushed Harry gently away from him. "I am going to leave this alcove and return to my dungeon. You are going to wait sixty seconds and return to your room. We will meet as usual."
"All right," Harry agreed. "I'll be counting the moments."
Severus gave one last fondly exasperated look at the young man, then turned his back and strode away.
Harry chuckled to himself, counted to forty-five, and stepped back out into the hallway. Directly into the path of Draco Malfoy. Why did he keep doing that?
"Watch it, Scarhead!" the blonde snarled.
"You watch it, Malfoy," Harry hissed in return. "I mean it. Stop interfering in my life."
The smirk that followed from his nemesis indicated just how much Draco enjoyed his attempt to make Potter miserable.
And Harry was more than happy to wipe it off his face. "It didn't work, by the way. Your little plan to get me expelled, or Severus fired. It's amazing how far the truth will take you."
The smirk was replaced by a sneer. "I should have known that golden Harry Potter would suffer no consequences for his actions."
"What is it that you want, Malfoy?" Harry asked, tired of this incredibly petty man and his machinations.
"I want what is MINE!" Draco said, taking a threatening step toward Harry.
Harry's wand was in his hand in less than a heartbeat. "Back off," he warned in a low growl.
But Draco stepped closer, close enough so that his mouth nearly touched Harry's ear when he whispered, "One of these days, Potter, you are going to get exactly what you deserve." And he whirled away and strutted off toward the staircase.
"If we all got what we deserved, we'd probably both be in Azkaban!" Harry called after his retreating figure. "And Severus is not yours," he added, in a voice soft enough that only his own ears heard it.
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"So just be careful, all right?" Harry requested. He'd just finished telling Severus about his run-in with Draco Malfoy. "He's clearly hung up on you."
"I am not worried about Draco Malfoy," Severus assured him. "But he is the topic which we are now due to discuss, so let us move on, shall we?"
"I don't really want to talk about Draco Bloody Malfoy," Harry muttered petulantly.
"Yet we will. Sectumsempra. Ring any bells?"
"Like I'd ever forget. I know that you think that I wanted to hurt Malfoy, but I really had no idea what that spell did, and when he tried to crucio me, it just . . . came out. I felt horrid afterward. I'm so glad that you were there and you knew what to do, because if I'd killed him . . ."
"You were indeed lucky. You should have been expelled, you realize? Any other student would have been. Especially had he been a Slytherin."
"And I would have deserved it, but I suppose I couldn't have been allowed outside Dumbledore's sphere of influence. But you do believe me, right? I didn't mean for it to happen, and I was so, so sorry afterward."
"I think I have a little better understanding of you now, so yes, I do believe that you never intended to mortally wound Mr. Malfoy and that you did regret your actions. Not enough to actually return my book to me, but . . ."
"Sorry. I thought I might want that again some day."
"What did you do with it?"
"I hid it in the Room of Requirement. And it was a good thing I did, too, because it helped me to locate one of the horcruxes. But that's a story for later. Suffice it to say that detention with you for the remainder of the term was just the highlight of my sixth year."
"Yes. If I recall, you missed a Quidditch match."
"Yeah, I did. But we still won, so that was all right. And after the game, I kissed Ginny." Harry peered up at Severus to see how he took that news.
He took it with a single raised eyebrow. "Did you now?"
"Yeah. We were kind of swept up in the heat of the moment. There was a party in the common room after the victory, and she was there, and I was happy that they'd won despite my absence, and then – I kissed her."
"And how was that?" Snape inquired.
"It was better than Cho. But not as good as you," he added with a sly smile. After a moment, the smile dropped away. "Do you think maybe I could have one of those kisses now?" he asked. "Things are about to get . . . difficult."
Snape knew that they were approaching the tumultuous events that ended Harry's sixth year of schooling. He moved to sit close to the young man on the sofa, put an arm around his shoulders, and kissed him softly, briefly. When he pulled away, he brought Harry with him, and they settled side by side, Harry in the shelter of Severus' arm.
"Dumbledore summoned me," Harry went on quietly. "He had told me that he'd let me go with him when he discovered the location of the next horcrux, and he'd found one. On my way to his office, I ran into Trelawney. She was drunk. She was on her way to the headmaster as well, and we walked together. She told me that it was you that had overheard the prophecy and told Voldemort." Harry felt the arm around him tighten, and he hastened to reassure the older man. "It's all right. I know so much more now than I did then." And now the arm tightened in a wordless gesture of relief and gratitude.
"But of course then," he went on, "I was beside myself with rage. I confronted Dumbledore, who reiterated his complete faith and trust in you. I didn't believe a word he said, but I wanted to go with him so badly that I shoved all that emotion down and raced off to fetch my invisibility cloak. While I was in the common room, I left Ron and Hermione my map and the Felix Felicis I had left and told them to keep an eye on you and Malfoy. Dumbledore apparated with me to the seaside, at the mouth of a cave. It was cold and dark and bleak, just the sort of place I'd expect to find something connected with Voldemort."
Snape was listening intently. He'd never heard this part of the story. He'd killed Dumbledore before they'd had a chance to speak again.
"We had to pay to gain entrance," Harry went on. "With blood. Dumbledore's. Inside the cave, there was a big lake. Somehow, Dumbledore found a boat which was hidden there. It was really small and attuned to magic. Dumbledore said that because Voldemort placed no value on things he couldn't understand that my magic wouldn't register, because I wasn't a fully-grown wizard. So we both climbed into the boat and we began to sail across.
"We could see this little island and Dumbledore was sure that that was where the horcrux was. There was this . . . basin on the island, filled with water, and inside the water was the locket. Dumbledore did a bunch of spells on it and determined that we needed to drink the liquid in the basin. I wanted to do it, but he said . . . he said that he wasn't as valuable as I was, so he said he was going to drink it. He made me promise that no matter what happened, I was to force him to drink it all." Harry was quiet for a moment, remembering that awful night and how difficult it had been to keep that promise.
"After he'd had a bit of it, he started hallucinating. He begged me to make it stop. But I . . . I did what he said, and I made him keep drinking it. It was hurting him, but I made him drink it anyway." The young man looked so stricken that Severus pulled him closer. "Finally we got to the end, and he asked for water. I tried to aguamenti some water into a goblet, but it kept disappearing. So I tried to get some water out of the lake. As soon as I touched the water, inferi came out. They grabbed me. I tried to fight them off, but there were so many of them. They were dragging me into the water, and I was sure that I was going to die there." Harry turned his face into Snape's neck, searching for comfort from the horrifying memory of those skeletal hands on him.
Snape's hand came up to the back of the boy's head and stroked soothingly. "Take your time," he said.
"Then, suddenly, there was fire between us and the lake. The inferi didn't dare cross it. They dropped me. Dumbledore scooped up the locket and got us out of there.
"When we got back to Hogsmeade, Dumbledore could hardly stand. But then we saw the Dark Mark over Hogwarts. We borrowed brooms from Rosmerta and we flew to the top of the Astronomy Tower. Dumbledore asked for you. I wanted to get Madame Pomfrey, but he insisted that he needed you. I was going to get you, but then we heard a noise, and he told me to cover myself with the Cloak and stay out of the way. He . . . he petrificused me, so I could do nothing but watch what happened next. It was Draco who came up first. Dumbledore tried to talk him out of what he was planning to do. It was obvious that Draco was afraid – for himself and for his family – if he didn't kill Dumbledore. And as sure as he was that he needed to do it, I don't think Draco had it in him to actually curse anyone. I think that Dumbledore had talked him down, but then the others showed up. Bellatrix was urging Draco to do it. And then you came."
Tears were running down Harry's cheeks, but he appeared heedless of them. "Dumbledore begged you. I thought he was begging you to somehow save him. But he wasn't. He was begging you to go through with it. I know that now. And you did it." Harry had to stop now, overcome by grief.
Afraid that Severus would push him away now, he threw his arms around the other man and held on tight. But rather than pushing him away, Severus gathered up the sobbing boy and held him close, running a soothing hand up and down Harry's back.
"I didn't want to," Snape said in a strangled whisper. "I didn't want to do it. I wanted there to be some other way. I wanted Albus never to have been cursed. I wanted Narcissa never to have come to me asking for help. I wanted to be anywhere but where I was that night. I suspected you were there. I didn't see you, so I hoped that perhaps you'd gone before . . . before we arrived."
"No," Harry sniffed. "I was stuck under the cloak. I wasn't able to move until . . . until after you'd done it."
"And you gave chase."
"Yeah. Fat lot of good that did me. You toyed with me. I was so totally outmatched. If you'd wanted to kill me that night, you could have done so easily. And as if that night wasn't bad enough as it was, we discovered that the horcrux we'd risked everything for was a fake. There was a note inside the locket saying that someone had stolen the real one with the intent to destroy it. It was signed 'RAB.' We didn't figure out for a while that it was Regulus that had stolen it."
Harry rested his head on Snape's shoulder and the two of them just sat there for a moment, getting themselves under control.
"After the funeral," Harry said quickly, to get this over with, "I broke up with Ginny. I told Ron and Hermione that I was not returning to school in the fall. They insisted they were going with me. And that was the end of sixth year."
"I would have liked to attend the funeral," Snape said in a tortured whisper. "I would have liked to pay my respects to the man who took me in and gave me a second chance after I'd screwed my life up so royally. I would have liked him to know . . ." Snape drew in a great, ragged breath, ". . . how much I appreciated that."
Harry's already grief-soaked heart broke clean in two at the sight of the tears coursing down the normally stoic man's face, and he gathered him in close, tucking Snape's head under his chin and stroking his long, dark hair as Snape gave vent to the emotion he'd kept pent up for so long.
"He knew," Harry whispered over and over. "He knew."
It was a long time before Snape could gather himself, and once he did, he found it very difficult to look at the young man sitting beside him. He'd never, in his long and angst-ridden life, lost control of himself like this before another person, and he was more than a little mortified. "I apologize," he said, pulling himself up and away from Harry. "I don't know what came over me."
"I do," Harry said. "You loved him, and you've never properly mourned his passing. Don't be embarrassed. Merlin knows I've cried on you enough. I am honored that you trust me enough to share this with me."
"Thank you. I hadn't realized how missing his funeral had affected me."
"I have an idea," Harry said. "I was there. I could show you. I could put the memory into a pensieve, or you could just look for it. I'd willingly let you."
"You would let me into your mind?" Snape asked surprised.
"You've been there enough," Harry joked weakly. "And this time you'll be looking for something I want you to see. Do you want to?"
"I would like that very much," Snape said, very softly and very sincerely.
Harry settled himself comfortably on the sofa, closed his eyes to call up the memory of Dumbledore's funeral, then opened his eyes again. "Go ahead," he invited.
Harry's memory began at the point Professor McGonagall had stood up in the Great Hall and announced that it was time for the students to proceed out onto the grounds. Harry allowed Snape to see all of the people who had gathered to pay their respects to the Great Albus Dumbledore – the dignitaries, the members of the Order, and the ordinary people whose ordinary lives had been touched by Dumbledore in some way. Together they saw the beasts that had also gathered – the centaurs in the forest, the merpeople in the lake.
Harry knew that Snape could feel his own grief as he watched Hagrid carry Dumbledore's body through the gathered throng, and he felt an echo which was just as strong from Snape. Harry wished he could have heard more of what the speakers were saying, but he'd just been too far away from the front. He hadn't cared to hear it then, but he thought perhaps Severus would be interested in it now. And then he felt it again: that hot, sick wash of grief as he seemed to realize all at once that the Headmaster was really and truly gone. He felt tears coursing from his eyes again and hoped they didn't interfere with Snape's legilimency.
And then the fire, and the appearance of the marble tomb, and the funeral was over. Snape pulled out of Harry's mind as Harry began the very difficult task of ending his relationship with Ginny.
Snape slumped against Harry, and Harry put his arms around him comfortingly. Together, they cried for the man they'd loved and who had loved them, until they dropped off to sleep in each other's arms.