ESSENTIAL (a second Epilogue)

"Matt?! Oh my god! Matt!"

Shay's yelling brings Matt hurriedly out of his room, to find her scrambling quickly down the spiral staircase, her eyes focused on the steps, but a grin plastered on her face.

"Shay? Shay, slow down. What's wrong?" he calls at her worriedly, waiting at the bottom of the stairs.

"You have to feel this, here," she says as she plants herself in front of him, placing his hand on her slightly swollen belly.

"What?" he says after a moment in which nothing happens, his eyes finding hers with question.

"Wait, wait," she says quietly, not moving her eyes from her stomach.

They stand there a moment, her hand holding his against her stomach, and Matt becomes a bit uncomfortable with their position and awkward physical contact. But as he begins to pull his hand away, a tiny protest on the tip of his tongue, he feels it. A small ripple against his hand from inside Shay's stomach.

"Whoa," he lets slip quietly, mesmerized, "what was that?"

"Right?!" Shay finally raises her eyes to him, taking in his features, now concentrated on her stomach, waiting for another occurrence. "It's moving, I guess,"

"Does it hurt?" he asks, his eyes shooting quickly to Shay's face before setting back on her stomach.

"Not really. Not yet, anyway. It's just kind'a weird. And uncomfortable if I'm sitting."

When it happens again, Matt's grin grows wider, spreading across his face, his eyes big and shiny with happiness. It's the first time Shay sees him engaged with the pregnancy, the feelings that were kept at bay suddenly very much visible. Until now, though the three of them live together, and the interactions between Matt and Shay have remained comfortable, Kelly was the active one with anything concerning the pregnancy. He was the donor, he came to the doctor's appointments with her, he'd calm her down when she was stressed and bring her ice cream when she was craving (though, honestly, it was a tad early for that). Matt was there, he was Kelly's partner in perhaps the most solid relationship she'd ever seen Kelly hold, but he was rather in the background with everything concerning the baby. When they'd talk about baby things, he'd remain quiet, biting his lip and letting them babble and dream. When they went to the doctor's, he'd stay home, cooking for them when they got back, but he never really let himself feel a part of this new adventure Kelly and she are on.

When the movement stops, Matt pulls his hand back but stays close in proximity. "I'm sorry Kelly wasn't here to feel that," he reflects quietly, a small smile on his lips.

"Yeah, but he'll get his chance... there's more to come." She says reassuringly, in awe again at how selfless Matt is, immediately thinking about Kelly's loss rather than his gain. "And I'm glad you were here."

"Me too," he says bashfully. They stand in a slightly awkward silence for a moment.

"Hey, Matt,"

"Yeah?"

"Listen, I know it's a bit weird, this whole situation, and I know it was a bit rushed, but I want you to know that I'm really happy you're here, with Kelly. I've never seen him so happy," Matt just smiles at her and that encourages her to go on, "and I want you to know, for me, you're a part of this family. I want you to feel a part of this baby's life, a part of this pregnancy. As far as I'm concerned, it's your kid too."

Matt's eyes grow bigger in front of her and she can see he's at a loss for words, uncontrolled emotions running across his face. She doesn't think she's ever seen him so exposed, his habitual guard suddenly nonexistent.

"I," he mumbles, not knowing what to say, he gapes at her as his mouth stupidly opens and closes, she can see tears forming in his eyes.

"Hey," she says, chuckling as she leans in to wrap her arms around him, "I thought I was supposed to be the hormonal one here," she tries laughing it out as she rubs his back, realizing the whole subject is perhaps more important than either she or Kelly had given notice to.

"Thank you," Matt mumbles against her shoulder, holding her tight, maybe the tightest he's ever held her.

"Matt, too tight," she splutters out and is immediately released to a wave of his apologies.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry," he repeats over and over again, not knowing what to do with himself, his hand floating above her belly and her shoulders as he checks she's okay.

She laughs at his excited helplessness. "So, that means you get a say, Matt, in everything, okay?" she tries to bring the conversation back, to gain some control over their emotional state. "You'll need to say what you're thinking, what you want. No more sitting back silently and accepting every stupid thing Kelly and I think up. Okay? We need you to keep us sane and grounded. We each have a role here, yeah?" She smiles as Matt nods silently, his eyes still watery. "Okay, good. First matter on the list: Dinner." She tries to steer them away from their serious emotional exchange, into lighter and safer grounds, "I'm starving. What are we having?"

"I'll cook," Matt says immediately, joy taking over, he decides to try and drown his excitement in something productive. He didn't know Shay noticed his reserve, but he's giddy with happiness at her confirmation of his place in the house and their newly formed family. It's not like anything he'd known or dreamed of growing up, as he'd sit on the edge of a foreign bed and try and replace his broken experiences with utopic dreams. But it's theirs, and he's happy, and he feels safe and loved and equal, so he's learning to embrace it and the new experiences it brings with it. "How does veggy lasagna sound?" he asks out of his musing, as they walk into the kitchen.

"Fancy," Shay answers lightly, and the mood is comfortable again, "how can I help?"