Chapter 25
Thanks to those who reviewed
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I don't own Twilight (btw)
34. Cluster fuck
"Damn, it's hot out here" Edward says, fanning himself with his shirt.
"So take of all your clothes" I answer, channeling my inner Nelly. Edward laughs, putting his arm around me to pose for some pictures.
Don't y'all remember that song?
"Geez" he shakes his head, signing what looks to be a thousand autographs at the same time.
"You're so hot!"
"I love you… like seriously" one girl says, I felt a little awkward looking at her afterwards.
"You're just so…so…oh my God" another says, taking a picture of Edward with her iPhone unexpectedly.
It's like I'm not here.
"You're okay too" his admirer says to me, before turning back over to him and asks him to sign her shirt.
She better not ask him to sign her boobs.
We make our way through the airport, signing autographs before a limo picks us up. Our jet had just landed in the Houston airport. It seems as though the week had passed so quickly. Edward left the next night to go back to shooting. I did the same. Then, we met at LAX to fly to Dallas to do the cameo in Leah Clearwater's movie.
It's been a little stressful.
The script, from what I read is really good. It's good to see a female director not afraid of a little blood. Leah only gave me the portion of the script pertaining to the scene I'm in. So, I have no idea what the movie is about.
"Why is it so fucking hot in Texas?" I ask, getting a bottle of water from the fridge in the limo.
"I wish I knew" Edward answers, rolling the window down before rolling it back up when it made the limo hotter.
"Is the air even on?" I ask.
"You can always take your clothes off" Edward smirks, as his hand sneaks itself up my shirt.
"You'd like that wouldn't you?" I giggle softly, raising my eyebrow.
"We've arrived" the sound of the driver's voice says through the intercom as the car comes to a stop.
"Damn it" Edward hisses, ghosting his finger across my nipple. "One of these days, I will have you in a limo" he vows, making me laugh.
"We do always seem to get cockblocked in here" I realize, as his eyebrows raise. "God damn it!" I hear before the door opens. "You're here…finally" Leah says, poking her head in the door. "Come on. Get the fuck out already. We're behind schedule" she huffs, motioning her hands out of the car.
We follow her through the set of what looks like some short of shootout. occurred-with lots of blood and eventually found ourselves in makeup and wardrobe.
"Okay, you two" Leah claps, separating us. "You go over here. You go over there. Separate. Go over your lines. I need you both in the zone. That won't happen if you two…"
"Leah" a tall woman comes says, coming up to her. "What?" Leah answers, annoyed.
"I'm sorry I'm late…"
"Who are you?" Leah replies, confused. "I've dealt with at least 200 people today. It's only 4:00."
"I'm Dana Dugan…"
"Oh" she pauses. "The part in that scene"
"Yeah" she says, smiling.
"Fuck you" she says, turning back to me and Edward. "I don't tolerate tardiness. You've been replaced. Now, get off my set" she dismisses her and goes turns back to us. "What was I saying? Oh… yeah. I need you two…not together until shooting starts. I need it to feel real. I have a feeling if I leave you two alone someone is gonna catch you two fucking… that's not conducive to what I'm trying to shoot. " she says, walking over to the woman in charge of wardrobe.
"Ok" we say, as I feel Edward put his arm around me.
"She's crazy" Edward mouths to me. I nod my head in agreement.
"For Mr. Cullen…I want GQ… but not too GQ. For Ms. Swan, I want…I want…" she starts. "I want trailer trash chic…trailer fabulous" she says, before walking off. "OUT!" she points to Edward.
"Yes, M'am" Edward says, giving me one of those kisses. Yes, sir. "I love you" he whispers against my lips.
"I love you too" I say, going in for another peck before he leaves the trailer.
"I'm a little overzealous" Leah admits, checking a clipboard for something. "Hey" she says after a short silence. "Where is that little person who is with you all the time? Your assistant?"
"LA" I tell her.
Alice has become sort of a hot commodity over the past couple of weeks. Several starlets have asked her to create designs for them. She told me she'd fly down if she could make it. I totally understand.
"Oh" she says, heading for the door. "Don't fuck up."
"I'll try" I promise before she leaves.
She's a weird one
I spend 4 hours in hair, makeup and wardrobe trying to find the perfect "trailer sexy" outfit. Whatever that means. By the time I'm finished, I have raccoon eye makeup, chipped hot pink nail polish, and just fucked hair. Wardrobe finally decided on a cut off shirt that showed off my midriff and my lime green bra underneath along with a blue jean mini skirt.
Alice would shit herself.
I feel like a laugh, so I send Alice a pic of my wardrobe. I get a reply instantly.
Alice: What the fuck! R they serious?
Bella: Yep
Alice: Oh God. People are going to see you.
Bella: I kinda like it
Alice: Have you taken up crack recently? This shit is terrible.
Bella: LOL
Rose: You look like a crack whore in that pic Alice sent me. LOL
"Not trashy enough" Leah says, looking me over. "She needs some prostiboots"
"Prostiboots?" I ask, confused.
"You know…boots that make you look like a prostitute" she says, pointing to the wardrobe. "Fix it. You have 5 minutes. Edward is ready"
"Fine" Mona, the head of wardrobe, hisses going into the back. She's back there for a little before giggling in victory coming out with a pair of dark green knee high boots.
Wow.
"Wow" I whisper, putting the boots on. They have gold detailing and closures similar to a military jacket. Plus, the tell tell sky high heel. It's not that high. I'm guessing 5 inches. I'm gonna die in those.
I wonder if Edward will like them.
To add some flair, she makes me wear a thin gold necklace and makeup puts a fake heart tattoo over my right boob.
I look so classy.
"Perfect" Leah says, grabbing my hand and leading me onto the set.
The set looks like some underground room with bad lighting. It's a little scary in an… 'I don't know what could happen' kind of way. These boots are killing me already. So, I sit down to message my calves.
"Damn" I hear Edward moan from behind me.
Really?
"Shut up" I roll my eyes before turning around.
Seriously?
Edward has on a sexy black suit with a white wife beater on under it with some dress shoes.
"Why do you get to look nice?" I grumble in his chest as he engulfs me in a hug. "It's not fair."
"Aww…boo hoo" he makes fun of me, kissing my forehead. "I think it's very becoming."
"Kiss my ass"
"Maybe later" he says, grabbing my ass for good measure.
"God!" Leah huffs, putting her hand between me and Edward's face. "Are you always this horny?"
"Yes" Edward says, reaching his head around Leah's hand and kissing my neck. I nod my head and blush.
"Places" she yells, signaling everyone to get in their spot…in this case me, Edward, and this mystery guy we're supposed to be getting information from.
Scene opens with Joe opening his eyes in a dimly lit room. He whimpers in pain, trying to get up only to notice that he is bound to the chair.
"Who's there?" he yells, shaking against the restraints. "Let me out of here!"
"No" says a man's voice in the room. "Let's…talk first" he says, throwing what looks to be a doctor's bag on the metal slab next to Joe.
"You're gonna hurt yourself if you keep fighting the ropes like that" his capture's companion says, coming into the room and throwing her partner an apple. "Don't worry" she giggles, sitting on top of a nearby table and crossing her legs. "We're no…"
"Cullen… pay attention" Leah shouts, cutting the take.
This is how shooting went. It was…interesting to say the least. We must have done at least 150 takes. Leah kept finding something wrong. It seems like whenever I put my foot up, she'd yell "Cut!" I don't understand. But I think it turned out well.
"It's a wrap for Bellward everybody" she yells, as the crew claps while Edward and I take our bows.
"This was fun" I say, wiping some of the fake blood off of me.
"Thanks for having us" Edward adds, shaking her hand.
"My pleasure" she says, eating a donut. "It's gonna be great. Thanks" she smiles, hugging us. "You two can run off and go fuck now" she laughs, raising her eyebrow as my mouth shoots open and I blush. Edward laughs.
He's such a man.
"I need to go change" Edward says, picking out a wedgie. "This suit is uncomfortable as shit"
"I'm right behind you…right after I pee" I say, grabbing a chicken leg…and a couple hot wings from the catering table and following him off set in search of a bathroom.
When is the last time I ate?
Eventually, I find my destination to find that my makeup has run mostly down my face as a result of sweat. I'm frightened at the first look at myself. I wet some paper towels and wash the makeup off of my face and the tattoo off of my chest. I walk to throw the paper away and come face to face with a newly dressed and obviously hard Edward.
"Hello" I say smiling, stepping back.
"Mmmm" he growls, closing in on me until my back hits the sink.
"What?" I ask innocently, sending him over the edge.
"Oh God" he moans, closing the small gap between us with his lips. I eagerly accept his offering, tangling my hands in his hair as his hands roamed my body leaving a trail of desire in his wake.
I stand there responding to his actions, too paralyzed to do any exploring of my own. I loved this. This hunger… the feeling of being ravished.
I don't even care we're in a bathroom
"Do you have any idea how much I want you right now?" he asks, taking a breath before kissing the spot below my ear that he knows drives me crazy, before lifting me up on the platform. "Do you?" he growls again, unhooking my bra from underneath my shirt and throwing it on the ground.
"Well…" I shriek, feeling his fingers pinch my nipples over my thin shirt, "you can always show me" I tell him, freeing myself from my Edward-induced haze by unbuckling his belt buckle with one hand as Edward chuckles.
"You really shouldn't have said that" he replies, his other hand leaving my breast to roam under my skirt, ripping my panties and scooting me further to the edge.
Yes!
"I'm kinda glad I did" I tell him cockily before I push his jeans down. At this point, I'm feeling particularly bold. So, I take my leg and prop my leg on his shoulder, edging myself closer to dig my heel in his shoulder a little giving him a full view of my soaking pussy… and my boots. "See something you like?" I ask him, following the path of his eyes.
Pussy…Boots….Pussy…Boots
"I see many things I like" he answers, trailing his finger up my thigh slowly while rubbing his cheek against my boot. "Fuck you're so…"
"OH MY GOD!" I hear a voice scream. I turn to see a distraught Leah holding her crotch doing the 'pee dance' while facing the corner.
"Shit" Edward says, pulling up his pants while I put my bra back on under my shirt.
"I'm so embarrassed" I blush, shaking my head.
"I'm so sorry!" all three of us shout.
"My fault…all my fault" she says, still jumping. "God, why am I still in here?" she asks, herself before bolting to the door.
"Oh God" I shake my head in horrification. "I'm so embarrassed."
"I'm…" Edward pauses. "a little thankful, actually. She almost caught us with my face between your legs. That would have been embarrassing."
I don't know why, but I found that statement to be incredibly hilarious. Edward looked at me like I was mental when I started to laugh. Then, he started laughing too.
"I guess she'll knock next time huh?" I laugh.
"I hope so" he giggles.
"Why are we always getting cockblocked?" I ask, my vision getting blurry.
"I was thinking the same thing" he says, laughing hysterically.
"We don't even have any kids."
I guess you have to laugh to keep from crying. After I changed back into my regular clothes, we didn't stay too much longer. We bolted out of there.
"I love you, Bambi" Edward says, pulling me close to him as the limo drives off.
"I love you too, Mufasa" I say, kissing his chin.
"Do I tell you enough?" he asks softly, rubbing my hands.
"Of course, you do" I laugh gently, looking into his eyes. "I've never had to guess" I smile as he goes in for another kiss.
"I just want you to know how much I love you" he says, nuzzling his face in my neck.
"I know, baby. I know" I reply, reaching my hand back to run my fingers through his hair. "You know I love you right?" I ask, half joking.
"Mhmm" he hums against me shaking his head.
"You're the only man who isn't related to me that I've said 'I love you' to" I admit.
"Really?" he asks, after a tender silence. "Not even…you know?"
"Yep" I admit. "I thought it. But I never said it. I feel the constant urge to say it when I'm around you" I tell him, blushing.
"I feel the exact same way" he smiles, tilting my chin to look at me. "You're the first girl I ever introduced to my parents…the first girl I brought home…the first non-Cullen woman that I said 'I love you' to" he tells me.
"I love you" we say at the same time, sharing a kiss as the limo comes to a hault. "I'm glad we got to spend time together before heading back to work. I miss you."
I say, wrapping my arms around him, heading back to the airport.
He smiles that crooked smile and those green orbs light up and I know something is up.
"We're not finished yet" he says, picking me up bridal style and carrying me through the doors. The paps go crazy at the photo opportunity.
"What do you mean?" I ask, kicking my feet.
"We still have two entire days left…not including tonight" he gloats. "We're going on vacation. Everything is worked out. They can last some days without us" he says as we make our way through baggage claim.
"I don't have any…"
"Alice"
"Where are we g…"
"I'm not telling you" he smiles, before heading off to the jet that he chartered for us.
"Please"
"No"
"Hmph" I pout, following after him.
He spends too much money.
After our plane takes off, I try in vain to get the tiniest bit of information on our destination. I gotta give it to him. My man can keep a secret.
"Come on"
"You realize you literally spent the entire plane ride asking me where we're going?" he asks, laughing.
"We're here?" I ask, confused. "Already? "
"Mhm" he says, taking my hand and grabbing our bags leading us off of the plane. "I knew it would be late. So, I picked a place that we wouldn't take forever to get to" he reasons, nodding his head toward the Mexican flag in the airport.
He flew us to Mexico?
"Mexico?" I ask, smiling.
"Cabo" he admits, shrugging his shoulders.
"Thank you, sweetie" I say, hugging him.
The photogs are there, snapping pictures and asking questions as usual. How do they always know where people are? It baffles me. Soon, we're pulling off in a Mercedes McClaren with tinted windows (pic on profile). After that, if someone took a picture I didn't notice.
I hold his hand over the gear shift, as he drives us to our next destination. While he watches the road, I take notice of just how…exquisite he is. The way his emerald eyes sparkle for no apparent reason… or how the glow from the headlights pass over his chiseled features for only a second, highlighting his profile.
Damn
"This is a sexy car" I grin, rubbing my hand up his thigh. "You look even sexier driving it" I tease, messaging his cock through his pants.
"Bella" he growls as the car accelerated faster down the street.
"Huh?" I ask, playing confused. "Did I do something wrong?" I add, kissing my way along his neck while unbuckling his belt. "Watch the road" I giggle, freeing his cock from his boxers, "You don't want to kills us, do you?"
"Shit" he jumps, grinding his hips into my hand as I start to pump him.
"Shh" I whispers in his ear, before I suck his earlobe into my mouth. "Eyes on the road" I say, slowly working him. He squints his eyes, holding the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white.
"Oh" he moans, the vibrations passing along my lips as I hear the engine rev once more. He starts to move his hips faster, trying to increase the friction. I keep my slow pace.
I love that I do this to him. That I can make him so unglued. It makes me feel…powerful.
"Do you like that?" I moan, rubbing my thighs together, seeking a little relief of my own.
"Yes" he grunts out. "Faster"
"Okay" I breath against him, bending my head down, swirling the tip of his cock in my mouth before taking him in completely.
"Go…ah…" he trails off, as I continue my ministrations, him thrusting his hips to meet me at every turn. I massage what I can't fit, enjoying his sounds of pleasure. "Bella" he whimpers, while I pay attention to the vain on the underside of his penis, messaging it with my tongue as my head bobs up.
"Mmm" I moan around him, as one of his hands threads itself in my hair, messaging my scalp.
"Shit" he shrieks, as my movements become faster and he becomes harder than I'd ever imagine in my mouth.
I know that some women don't like to swallow. But, I love every part of my Edward and right now, there is a part of him that I'm particularly craving.
"STOP!" he grunts out, as the car comes to a stop.
"Is there something…" I start before I'm cut off by Edward crashing his lips on mine, invading my mouth with his desire.
"Pants off" he orders, reaching over the console to take my shirt off. "Now!" he growls, as my bra suddenly falls to the floor leaving me shocked. "DO IT!" he yells.
"Yes, sir" I say, making quick work of my jeans, leaving me completely bare in front of him.
He tugs my arm, pulling me over the console to his side of the car, making me hover over him with my back touching the steering wheel. In no time, his lips are back on mine, covering every inch of me in hot kisses, as his fingers go to tweak my already erect nipples.
"You didn't think I was gonna let that fly, did you?" he asks cockily, as he pumps two of his long fingers in my pussy.
"Gah" I shriek as my hips start to move on their own, as the car horn sounds from my back hitting the steering wheel.
"You have all the fun, while I sit there helpless?" he asks, thumbing my clit to create the perfect amount of friction before adding a third finger.
"N…"
"Fuck, you're so wet" he notices, prompting me to look down at the juices flowing down his hand. "You like sucking my cock" he asks, smiling as his fingers disappearing in and out of my pussy.
"Yes" I admit. "I love…ah!" I yell, bracing my hand on the roof as he increases his pace.
"You're so…fuck" he stops himself, before latching his mouth to my nipple and pinching my clit, sending me over the edge.
"Edw…" I pause, breathless riding out my orgasm, holding his head to my chest. I quickly remind myself that he hasn't cum yet, as I push him back on his seat.
I look into his eyes, as I slowly sit on his lap, looking to revel in the sight of taking him inside of me.
"So deep" he growls, his grips tightening on my hips.
"Damn" I moan, while I begin to rock my hips against him. "Edward" I whisper. He slowly begins messaging my hips, hip lips exploring my body, never spending too much time in one place.
"Bella" he groans, as I raise my hips up, leaving only the tip inside me before lowering myself back down on him. We set our pace with him meeting my thrusts, using his shoulders and the headrest as leverage. Neither of us are in a rush to come. We want this to last.
"You feel so good around me" he confesses, running his hands over my now sweat soaked body as my hips quicken their pace.
"God, I love you" I say, as I engulf him in a hug, connecting us chest to chest as I feel a familiar burning in the pit of my stomach. "Oh…I'm about to…"
"I love you. You're so beautiful" he whimpers into my neck, matching my pace. "Let go" he whispers, kissing my neck and sending me into oblivion.
"Edward" I cry, arching my back to sound the alarm again and milking him.
"Shit!" he follows, filling me with his essence.
Still hugging, we sit there catching our breath until Edward kissing my forehead.
"You own me in every way possible" he giggles.
"Same here" I reply, shaking my head.
"If that's the reaction this car gets out of you, I'm buying one the second we get back home" he laughs.
"I wouldn't hate it."
"Look" he shakes his head, motioning for me to look somewhere. "We're here"
"It's beautiful" I say, finally taking note of the fabulous Mexican villa.
"I rarely get to come here" he says, resting his chin on my shoulder. Wait a minute.
"You own this house?" I ask, looking at the large… most likely insanely expensive house.
"Yep" he admits, laughing. "I figured you'd react like that".
"Shut up" I order, laughing with him. "How many more non-U.S. houses do you own?" I ask, rolling my eyes.
"Enough" he says. "They aren't just mine. They're ours" he says, kissing my neck.
Awwww
"You're so sweet" I smile, kissing him tenderly. "I have to pee" I giggle.
We put our clothes back on and find our way inside. The house is just as beautiful on the inside as it is on the outside.
"Mom decorated" he admits, blushing. "When I showed her the picture, she demanded the right to come and work her magic"
"She did a good job" I tell him, taking in the hardwood floors, large extravagant chandeliers, and sexy kitchen.
I'm hungry.
"When is the last time I ate?" I ask myself, holding my stomach.
"The refrigerator is stocked" Edward says, hugging me from behind.
I decide on something quick. So, I get some popcorn, pretzels, Doritos, and of course, Cheetos.
"Wow" Edward says, as I take all the food and put it on the counter.
"I'm making Bella party mix" I laugh. "Don't kno…"
"Hi guys!" Alice says, literally jumping out of nowhere and scaring the fuck out of both of us.
"Alice?" I ask. "You're…here"
"I know" she says, hugging me and Edward. "I didn't think I was going to be able to make it."
"How'd you get in the house?" Edward asks, seeming extremely interesting. "Well, Jasper told me that you were taking Bella to Cabo and you had a house here. So, I got the address so I could come and surprise you guys…Plus I want to shop and site see… Getting through the gate wasn't as hard as I thought… you need to pick a code that's not some variation of your birthday…then I had to find the key…it wasn't under the doormat or a rock…so I stood on the chair by the front door and found the key on the door frame…again too easy. Then, I made myself a sandwich and worked on some designs until you guys got here." She rambles, before smiling. "You're house is way too easy to break into…I'm surprised it hasn't been burglarized yet… Oh… Rose, Em, and Jazz say Hello"
She didn't even take a breath.
"I'm glad you made it" Edward says, ruffling her hair and receiving Alice's bitch face. "I was trying to think of a way to make Bella go to the spa"
What?
"Yay!"
"You're sending me to the spa?" I ask, on the verge of tears. "I thought you loved me."
"I do love you" he laughs at me, kissing my hair. "I want you to relax. Get a massage or something…my treat. I have plans for us tomorrow" he edges on, giving my ass a quick grab.
"Aww…" Alice coos at us, wiping an invisible tear. "You two are so cute. I wish my Jazzy was here to grope me" she adds with a pout.
"How is everything goin?" I ask, mixing all of my snacks into a big bowl. "Good" she says, smiling. "It seems kinda…surreal" she adds.
"Told ya" I gloat, taking a sip of Coke.
"Designers are making rip offs of those shoes I designed for you at the Globes" she says, grabbing a handful of Bella mix and humming in appreciation. "I don't know whether to be flattered or pissed. I worked hard on those."
"They were sexy" Edward growls playfully from behind me. Alice looks at me and bursts out laughing.
Oh God!
"What?" he asks. "They were."
"Thanks, Edward" she giggles, catching her breathe. "That means a lot…coming from you."
"I don't get it" he says, scratching his head.
"It's nothing" I tell him, as a yawn escapes me.
"Time for bed" he says, putting me over his shoulder and walks with me to the stairs.
"See you guys tomorrow" Alice says, grabbing her purse. "I'm gonna head over to my hotel."
"You're not stay…"
"I'm not that big of a cockblocker" she laughs. "I'll take the car and drive…"
"No" I giggle, smacking Edward's ass. "I don't think you want to take the car."
"But wh…Ewww" she shrieks, shaking her head as she figures out why.
"There is a BMW in the garage" Edward says, taking me upstairs. "or a Mercedes. I can't remember. You can take that."
"Sweet. Thanks" she says, blowing us a kiss.
The master bedroom is a light blue color with hard wood floors, and gigantic French doors that lead to terrace overlooking the ocean.
"Nice" I say, looking around the room as Edward throws our bags by the full length mirror and places me on the bed.
"I'm glad you approve" he says, taking my pants off, before lying on top of me, bracing his weight on his hands. "I'm glad we're getting to do this. I feel like we're always away from each other" he says, kissing my nose.
"I know" I tell him, holding his face in my hands. "I love being with you."
Damn, I love this man
"Let's just be us. Ok?" he says, rolling us over on our sides.
"There isn't any other way" I say, shrinking in his arms.
"I love you" he says, yawning one last time before I hear his breathing even out.
"I love you too" I yawn, feeling my eyes getting heavy.
"Eeeee" I hear the unmistakable shriek of Alice, followed by a stream of ramblings, waking me up. "Shit" I grumble, looking at the clock to see that it's 12 in the afternoon.
It's so early.
I roll out of bed to take a quick shower and put on a pair of yoga pants and a tank to head downstairs.
"What? Where? When?" I hear Alice interrogating Edward. "Oh my…"
"Hi, Bella" Edward says, putting a stack of pancakes and serving of eggs in front of me. "I made breakfast" he kisses me, as I sit down.
"Thank you" I say, digging in.
"5 pancakes, 5 eggs…with extra syrup" he gloats, as I hum in appreciation.
"I appreciate" I say, looking him up and down. "I guess I'll have to find some way to repay you."
"I can think of some…"
"I'm right here" Alice gripes, sipping some orange juice.
"Ugh" I pout, turning to look at the pint-sized menace. "What's on our agenda today?"
"Spa day!" she yells, excitedly. "Then, shopping. It's gonna be so fun"
"Yes" I deadpan, finishing my plate. "Nothing excites me more than paying people an obscene amount of money to rip hair from my vagina…then buy a shit load of clothes I'm only gonna be able to wear once."
"You're such a negative Nancy" she rolls her eyes. "You'll have fun"
"I doubt it"
"For me?" Edward asks, turning the shine on his lovely green eyes extra bright.
Damn him
"Okay" I blush, causing Edward to laugh at me.
"Let's go" Alice yells, pulling my arm to the car… but not before I gave Edward a kiss…and he smacked my ass.
He knows how I like it.
"Wow" I say, hopping in the BMW convertible.
"I know" she says, picking up speed, and therefore reminding me to put on my seatbelt. "Your man has excellent tastes. Cars…houses…"
"Women" I add, giggling.
"Especially women" she says, poking my arm. "Conceited bitch"
"Shopaholic bitch"
"I know" she says, turning at 60 miles an hour. Oh Shit. "This is really nice…what Edward is doing for you"
"I feel so lucky" I admit, resting my head against the headrest. "He's so beautiful…not in just the physical, but his heart. It's like, he time traveled here from the early 1900s or something" I say, shaking my head at my reasoning.
"He's lucky too" she says, pulling into the parking lot of what I guess is the spa. "You're fuckhawt and fuckawesome. You're like…a unicorn" she reasons, shocking me for the second time today. "He'd be an idiot to let you get away. But he's not an idiot" she giggles before mumbling, "obviously."
"I've never been compared to a unicorn before" I tell her, walking through the door to the reception desk.
"Shit!" says the receptionist, in a thick accent. "I love you. Can I have your autograph?"
"Of course" I smile, signing my name for her as well as other patrons and employees before I'm sent to the torture chambers.
Body scrub. Check.
I'm gonna have scabs tomorrow
Wax. Check
How many times in a month is a woman supposed to get that done? I'm surprised my pubic hair even grows back at this point.
Massage. Check
I don't like the idea of a stranger rubbing all over me when all I have to defend myself is a towel. Plus, it might just be me, but my masseuse seemed a little bit too excited.
Eucalyptus Treatment?
In what dimension does someone believe letting a person smack you with a eucalyptus leaf is therapeutic?
Mani and Pedi. Check.
That wasn't so bad. They even massaged my feet.
"Now, for the really fun part" Alice says, walking funny down the street. "Why are you laughing?"
"Why is it that after a girl gets her feet done, she walks like she's navigating a mine field?" I ask.
"Ha ha" she flicks me off, before dragging me down the street to a string of shops. It was pretty much a blur of Gucci, Prada, and other expensive shit after that. She
never stopped, only taking a break from spending money to go put the bags in the car. I finally put my foot down, (my sore foot) when it hit the 4 hour mark.
"Fine. We're done" she huffs, starting the car. "I've never known a woman so against shopping. It's not like you're paying for it" she says.
"Edward paid for this?" I ask.
"Yeah" she laughs, looking at me like I'm stupid. "He said that whole day was on him."
"Alice, we spent too much" I shriek, hearing the shopping bags move around in the trunk.
"Oh my God" she rolls her eyes, making yet another sharp turn. "You guys are loaded. Live a little. Besides, Edward isn't as cheap as you are" she tells me, as she pulls into another parking lot.
"Another spa?" I question, my voice cracking. "I thought we were going home."
"It's not a spa. It's a hair salon" she says, getting out.
"No" I stomp my foot in the car, crossing my arms. "I want Edward. I want to go home."
"It's only…"
"No"
"You got a massage, mani, pedi, got some sexy lingerie, and some cute clothes. We have to finish the day with getting your hair done" she reasons, opening the door. "It's the rules"
"No" I say, shaking my head. "I'm staging a hissy fit"
"Really?" she laughs, sinisterly. "You're staging a hissy fit? Well, I wrote the book on hissy fits. I own the movie rights and Warner Brothers is looking to buy the rights for a movie," she says, tugging my torso. I hold on to the headrest like my life depends on it.
"I wanna go home" I yell, hugging the headrest tighter. "I'm tired."
"Stop being so difficult and get your hair done. I'm trying to help Ed…just get out of the damn car!" she snaps, trying to pry my arms from around the seat.
Good luck
We're so engrossed in our fight that it takes a few minutes for us to realize paparazzi have been filming and taking pictures of the entire thing.
Plus a few bystanders.
"Damn" I gripe, letting her pull me out of the car.
"I knew you'd see it my way" she tells me. "It won't take long. I promise."
Bitch
I do the standard autograph and picture deal, before I sit in the chair and start the torture. It didn't take too long. I was shampooed, conditioned, let under the dryer to rot, trimmed, and styled. It took 2 hours. At the end, my hair was slicked to right side of the head and flowing down the right side of my chest.
"You look so pretty" Alice gushes, checking her watch. "I need to run by the hotel for a quick second. Then, I'll take you home" she says, speeding down the street. "I promise"
"I believe it when I get home" I mumble.
We make it to the hotel, and I'm fucking famished. I look around to find that the only thing in her suite to eat is in the mini fridge. I should eat a $7 Snickers followed by a $9 Coke for pissing me off.
I shouldn't.
"I'm hungry" I whine, looking at the hotel menu.
"No!" Alice shouts, yanking the menu from my hands.
"What n…" I start, before my phone starts to ring. "Hello?" I breath into the phone.
"What's wrong?" Edward asks, concerned. "Are you okay?"
"I'm hungry and my feet hurt. I haven't seen you all day" I complain, sadly. "Alice keeps finding shit for us to do. It's like she's doing it on purpose"
"Yeah. She mentioned you were being particularly hostile towards her…something about a headrest" he adds, sounding confused and amused at the same time.
"You had to be there" I said, looking around for Alice and scoping the room for another take out menu.
"I'm sorry you had a shitty day" he apologizes. "But…I had to keep you occupied so I could get everything ready for tonight"
"Huh?"
"I have plans for us this evening" I hear him gloat. "I couldn't have you here when
I was getting everything ready. It would have ruined the surprise"
"The whole day was a distraction" I say, astonished.
"Yep"
"Alice could have just taken me to a movie or something. She didn't have to run me ragged."
"That's Alice for you"
"What are we…"
"You don't think I'm telling you, do you?"
"It was worth a try."
"Have you eaten anything?" he asks.
"Unfortunately, no. Alice chose to starve me" I enunciate, knowing Alice can hear me. She reaches her hand out to give me the finger.
"Good" he assesses. "Don't eat anything until you get here"
"What?"
"Relax. Everything should be ready by the time you get here" "What time should I…"
"Bye, sweetie" he laughs, hanging up.
If I didn't love him so much…
"Okay" Alice says, slowly reappearing from behind the door. "It's time" she adds, shaking some shopping bags at me.
Oh God
In addition to the torture I'd been through today, Alice decides to have an 80s style clothes montage. I try on most of the clothes we bought today, matching them against various shoes. We (she) decided on a two-tone dress, the top of the dress being black, one shoulder bustier kind of thing, while the bottom, which started at the waist, was more of a greenish gold and cut on a slight angle. She topped it off with some cute strappy Prada pumps with matching earrings (pic on profile).
Then, she did my makeup.
This shit refuses to end
"All done" she says, smiling all kid-like. "You can go now" she tells me as she gives me my purse. "Now, I told the management that you needed to be escorted out safely. Take the car back. I have to leave in the morning, anyway" she gives me orders, smiling and brushing something off of my shoulder.
"O…kay" I say, awkwardly backing towards the door. "See you later" she waves, one hand over her chest.
"Sure" I say, heading towards the elevator
She's weird
The hotel management does their best to conceal me as I move to the car. However, paparazzi are crafty fuckers. Some get through and resume with their aggressive picture taking. I'm a little too weirded out and annoyed to ask particularly pleasant. I smile and make my way to the car and drive off, trying my best not to hit anyone with the car.
I pull up to the house to see that the lights are turned low. I slowly walk inside and see Edward sitting on the couch, pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his leg profusely.
"You alright?" I ask, leaning on the doorframe to stare at him.
"Yeah" he answers quickly, shooting out of his chair. "I'm just…wow" he stops, as he takes me in. "You look so beautiful" he whispers, coming over to kiss me. "Amazing" he whispers against my lips. Of course, I blush.
I guess the day of Hell was worth it
"You look pretty sexy yourself" I tell him, running my hands over his chest. He has on a simple blue button down shirt, and black pants. "I missed you…all day" I tell him, as I wrap him in a hug…right before my stomach starts to growl. "The moment is ruined" I say, blushing this time from embarrassment.
"It's okay" he laughs, leading me into the kitchen. "I figured you'd be hungry so…" he leads off, waving his arms around the kitchen doing his best Vanna White impression.
"Edward…" I pause, covering my mouth to look at the site before me. "It's beautiful" I add, before placing kisses all over his face.
There is food everywhere. Seafood…Italian food…Mexican food…soul food…steak… all the great side dishes that make America great. The entire table in the kitchen is filled with plates and bowls of deliciousness.
You wanna know the best part?
No salad
He knows me so well
"Did I do a good job?" he asks, kissing my neck.
I nod my head and lean into his touch. "There is a tiny spirit child in my stomach crying tears of joy…and tying a bib on as we speak."
"I've been working all day" he says, proudly. "I got my mom's fried chicken and mashed potatoes recipe, your mom's macaroni and cheese, stuffing, and gravy recipe. Then, I got the rest of the recipes from the Food Network" he smiles, earning a kiss.
"You didn't have to do all of this" I tell him, motioning to our very own all you can eat buffet. "But…I'm glad you did" I laugh. "Thank you. You're so wonderful" I kiss him.
"I try" he says, leading us outside.
"Baby" I whisper for the second time in two minutes, looking at a site more breathtaking than the last. "Wow" I say, leaning into his chest.
The entire back yard is filled with dim lighting. Most of it glows from the lights under the water of the pool, creating a blue-like glow. Also, there is a small table with two chairs overlooking the fabulous view of the ocean at night.
"Let's eat" he says, rubbing my stomach. "I know you're hungry."
He didn't have to tell me twice. It took me ten minutes to make my plate. I wanted to have the best of all the food types. But, there was limited plate space. I felt like I was playing Tetris… but with food.
"It looks good" I smile, rubbing my fingers, looking at him from across the table. Suddenly, it felt too far away. I take my plate to his side of the table and sit in his lap. "I'm sitting here" I tell him, before I feed him a piece of my steak. Did I mention that he wrapped it in bacon?
Yes. He did.
"Fine by me" he licks his lips before staring down my shirt. I shimmee in reaction, causing him to jump.
"I caught you staring" I laugh, shrugging my shoulder. "Perv."
"Kettle" he replies, feeding me a nice-sized spoonful of mashed potatoes with bits of salmon and macaroni. It was the perfect bite. We continue eating and enjoying being together with no one looking at us under a microscope.
"We're sitting here feeding each other" I say, smiling. "This is so fucking romantic" I point out, looking around my surroundings.
"I'm glad you think so" he laughs at me, before going in for a kiss. I grant it, of course. "I love you"
"I love you too"
"It's hard to think that you know… 12 years ago we met in the gym at Forks High School. Now… it's just…hard to imagine that this is all real" he says, wiping his forehead with his hand.
"I know" I say, hugging his neck. "It's kinda like a fairytale… a little" I say, kissing his cheek. "I wish that I knew you back then. I could have saved myself a lot of shit."
"I should have asked you to Homecoming" he laughs, shaking his head.
"I would have said, 'yes.'" I start. "I would have jumped you in the car" I giggle.
"I would have refused."
"Really?"
"I would have asked you to be my girlfriend first. I liked you too much to just fuck you in the back seat of my car. Then, I would have let you jump me."
"High school Edward…such a charmer" I laugh.
"We would have been those annoying couples that ate lunch together all the time" he says, putting a strand of hair behind my ear. "I would have given you my letterman jacket."
"It would have been cooler than my army jacket" I admit.
"Personally, I thought that jacket was rather sexy" he says, kissing my neck. "We probably would have gotten 'cutest couple'…Ewww" I shake my head, in disgust.
"I would have gotten in fights, protecting your honor" he says.
"I would have followed you to Dartmouth" I tell him, looking into his eyes.
"I would have followed in my dad's footsteps and became a doctor" he kisses me.
"I'd be a… teacher" I say, nodding my head.
"Kids are cool"
"Really?" he asks, rubbing my stomach.
"Yeah" I say, running my fingers through his hair. "It's funny how life turns out isn't it?"
"It sure is" he says. "You ready for desert?"
"Well" I say, creeping my hand up his shirt.
"Real desert" he laughs, rolling his eyes.
"Oh" I blush, a little embarrassed. "I guess so."
He goes in the back, coming out with two bowls. I look at its content and am filled with excitement…followed by anger.
"Gran gave you that fudging recipe and not me…or mom?" I ask, crossing my arms
He even brought out the big spoons.
"Yep" he says, blushing. "I kept messing it up. I had to call her and ask her to talk me through it. It's really hard to make" he laughs, nervously.
"Are you okay?" I ask him, feeling his head. "You're sweating."
"I'm fine. It's just a little hot out here" he tells me, taking a sip of water.
"Alright" I say, eyeing him suspiciously. "I can't believe she gave it to you and not me. That's such bullshit" I say, grabbing my spoon and laughing.
"No!" he says, grabbing my hand. "not yet"
"O…kay" I say, putting the spoon down.
"Bella" he says, slowly getting up and wiping his forehead. "I love you. And I w-need to the restroom" he says, getting up and heading inside.
I hope it's not something I ate too. I don't want to spend the rest of the night on the shitter.
I start to dig back in to my plate, avoiding all of the foods that Edward ate. I bet it's the sausage ravioli that fucked his stomach up. Then, as if it's a sign from God, a gust of wind blows over me and wafts the smell of fudging into my nose. I want to wait for Edward. I really do. Then, another gust of wind comes, giving me another smell of fudging.
One spoonful won't hurt. He won't even notice.
I take one of the big spoons, taking a decent sizes portion, before smoothing it back over to where you can't tell. It's a good thing he didn't put whip cream on it. I place the spoon at my lips, humming in anticipation as I see Edward come back into view. I quickly stuff the spoon in my mouth, licking it clean before placing it back on the table. I wipe my mouth and swallow the evidence, finding a childish pleasure that I didn't get caught, even though Edward punishing me for being bad wouldn't be such a bad thing. However, the pleasure is short lived when I realize that I can't breathe.
I try to cough, thinking a chunk of chocolate is stuck in there. That normally works.
Nothing
I pound on my chest, only to find that the object has now slid further down my throat to cut off more air.
Shit
Now, I'm scared. I stand up, coughing, and pounding to find that nothing is working.
Cough.
Nothing.
Pound.
Nothing.
Cough and pound.
Nothing.
Jump.
Nothing
Jump, Cough, and Pound.
I look up to see Edward talking to himself in the mirror. I would have been a little troubled...had I not been choking.
Oh God. Please don't let me die eating.
"Edwar…" I choke out pitifully, walking to the door. In my frenzy, I knock on the door to get his attention. He looks at me, gives me a crooked smile and walks to the door.
He's walking too fucking slow.
Still looking at the door, I grab the first thing my hand touches and throw it against the door, cracking it a little. That gets his attention.
"Bella?" he asks, speeding up.
"Edwa…" I choke out again, pointing to my throat while coughing, pounding, jumping.
At this point, I'm beginning to feel light headed. I feel my knees buckle as Edward's arms engulf me to give the Heimlich maneuver.
"Come on…come on… cough it up…God damn it, Bella" he says, pumping my stomach with every fragmented sentence.
The pressure builds in my throat, before expelling the foreign objecting which lands in the water with a soft *plink* sound.
"Damn" I say, rubbing my throat. "That was a big chocolate chunk in that fudg…"
"Shit!" Edward yells, jumping into the water.
Huh?
He's swims in the pool for a good five minutes before coming back up. He stands up, his auburn darkened by the water and pooling around his eyes and slowly turns to look at me.
"Sorry" I say sheepishly, looking at my feet.
"Are… you…okay?" he asks, taking breaths after every word.
"Yeah" I mumble, still looking down. "I'm just…horribly embarrassed" Then, he laughed at me.
"Come here" he says, pulling me into a hug and kissing my hair. "Life is never boring with you" he says, kissing me. "Let's get inside"
As a result of Edward being wet and getting me wet, literally this time, we agree to change into pajamas and just watch t.v. I put on my Wonder Woman pajama tank/panty set and go downstairs to find a newly dried Edward with sleep pants and no shirt on.
I love it.
"You know I have a thing for Wonder Woman" Edward says, stalking over to me.
"Do you now?" I coyly ask, putting my fists on my hips in the standard superhero pose.
I wish I bought some red boots…and a lasso.
"Mhmm" he says, grabbing my waist and kissing down my neck. "Have you been bad?" I ask, pushing him on the couch.
"It depends" he replies, spreading himself out. "What's the punish…"
"Yaaaaaay!" Alice shrieks, before blowing a kazoo and throwing a handful of confetti in the air.
Not the paper kind…the glittery kind.
"What?"
"Oh God" Edward face palms himself.
"When I found out, I couldn't stay away" she gushes. She runs over to me and starts jumping up and down. "Let me see! Let me see!"
"Huh?"
"Alice" Edward says calmly, gaining her attention. He shakes his head slowly. She gasps, grabs her chest and gives the scariest bitch face I'd ever seen.
"You…said…no?" she asks me, pinching my arm. "Why?"
"What are you…"
"You're making a huge…horrible…terrible…mist…"
"SHUTUPALICE!" Edward rushes, standing in front of her. "She doesn't know what you're talking about" he stresses each word. Suddenly her face shows understanding.
"Oh…OH...Oh…sorry" she says, backing away from us. "I have to go…not be here…and pack…yeah" she says, before running to out the door and driving off in a cab.
"That was awkward…even for Alice" I say, staring out the door. I'm not in the mood anymore. "This day has been an epic clusterfuck" I laugh, snuggling into his side.
"Wouldn't I know it" he agrees, putting his arm around me. "We won't have one normal day, will we?" he asks.
"With our profession…our friends…our families…well my family…I'd say no" I laugh, kissing him.
"You're right" he says, standing in front of me now. "Bella…" he starts, taking a big breath. "12 years ago, I saw you biting your nails in a broken down Chevy and I knew that I had to know you. I never got the courage to talk to you. But…from what I did see, I found that not only were you beautiful, but you were funny…and smart…and witty…and you didn't care what anyone thought of you. I never really stopped thinking of you or what we could have had or stopped kicking myself for letting you get away. But, when I really got to know you, I discovered that you were more than I'd ever observed or imagined," he says, getting down on one knee.
Oh,God.
"Oh,God" I whisper, as a single tear falls down my cheek. "Edward."
"Bella Swan, you are so much more than I'm worthy of. I love your laugh…your smile…everything about you. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy. I want to have children with you. I want to grow old and crotchety with you," he laughs. "You don't know how long I've waited for you. Will you marry me?" he asks, kissing me hand.
"Yes" I whisper, kneeling on the floor with him. "Yes" I say again, planting my lips on his and feeling him smile against me. "Yes."
I can't stop saying it.
"Damn" he says, shaking his head.
What?
"I forgot to give you the ring" he laughs, and goes upstairs. He skips back down the steps and stands before me. "Will you close your eyes for me, Mrs. Cullen?" he asks. I smile and oblige his request.
I feel his lips kiss my ring finger before I feel him slip the ring on my finger.
My finger feels…heavy
"I don't want any lip" he laughs, kissing my lips. "Open."
"Damn" I say, taking in the sight of the rock on my finger. "Wow" I say, looking at the ring shimmer in the light.
It's so…big
"This is…"
"My grandmother's ring" he tells me, gloating. "So, you can't complain about how much it costs because it's free."
"Wow" I smile, kissing him. "No complaint"
"It's free" I say, shrugging my shoulder. "I love it. Thank you" I say, kissing him again. "I love you so much" I cry.
"Don't cry" he says.
"Happy tears" I wave him off, wiping my face with my tank top and probably flashing him.
"Those are the only kind you'll cry" he says, picking me up in his arms.
"Edward, what's that?" I ask, pointing to the blue thing in the middle of my ring.
"It's a diamond."
"It's a diamond…inside of a diamond?" I ask, confused.
"When you say it like that, you make it seem ostentatious" he laughs.
"This is kinda boss. I won't lie" I say, kissing his neck as he carries me upstairs.
"Okay, fiancé'" he announces, as he lays me on the bed. "It's time for engagement s…"
He didn't even finish his sentence before I was naked on the bed.
I'll give you two guesses what happened next.