A random parody of the Walking Dead and the reality TV show 'The Real World.' This is purely for humor and enjoyment and not to be taken seriously.

I do not own the 'Walking Dead' or the 'Real World.'

Sunflower Child

At the recovery house, a camera follows Beth as she sneaks around dodging the watchful eye of her father Hershel, in order to see her date for the night, Garreth. She shows up to a room with a candle light dinner setting but the plates are bare, the glasses too. "Garreth?" She walks in locking the door.

"Hey Beth!" She jumps as he pops up behind her.

"Dammit, stop doing that, you're gonna kill me one of these days." Garreth licks his lips at the thought.

"Where's all the food?" Beth questions.

"It just arrived...you see Beth you're the main course."

Beth backs up slowly, "oh beep!"

A camera follows Andrea closely as she rolls her wheelchair back into her room. Bob is already waiting for her inside. He smiles at first but then sees new bruises on her arms. "Andrea where did these come from?"

"I listened to you and stopped injuring my leg...and the arms were the next best thing so..."

Bob sighs and kneels down in front of her chair, looking up at her he can't hide the love he has for her. "Andrea I have to do this, you obviously wont stop hurting yourself so, I'll have to give you a reason to stop."

"Wait, are you breaking up with me? You're breaking up with a person in a wheelchair?" Andrea becomes furious. "If I can't walk away from you, you're not aloud to walk away from me either!"

"I'm doing this for your own good Andrea."

"But you're literally the only non insane guy I've ever been into. Bob!" She screams at him as he leaves the room.

Beth is seated on top of the dinner table as Garreth is sucking off some strawberry syrup from her finger. She raises an eyebrow feeling his mouth slightly nibbling at her digit. "Now Garreth we talked about this, no chewing, no nibbling...ouch! No biting!"

In another attempt to get him accustomed to the greatness that is non-human food, she brushes her hair from her shoulder and watches as he sprays a puffy cloud of whipped cream on her neck. She looks at him again, "no teeth, Garreth, watch your teeth!"

Beth's confessional. "Most of the population are walkers now...sometimes you just gotta make it work, even when its with someone who literally wants to eat you. I know the only real difference between Gareth and a walker is that one isn't rotting from the inside."

Beth is going over some past negotiations she'd made with Garreth.

"Now lets go over a few things, who do we not eat?"

Garreth replies obediently. "You or you're daddy."

"And who do we eat if given the chance?"

"Shane." He answers.

"Good. You've remembered."

Garreth hands Beth a menu and smiles at the sweet looking blonde. "What's this?" She asks.

"Its a menu of all the food I'd like to make for you."

Beth starts to read from the list. "Pickled Rick's feet, Merle'oroonie and cheese, Shane-ca bob, Michonne-suey, Abera-hamberber, Bob-B que, Lori-Chops, oh and for desert...Ice cream with Carl-mel." She smiles at Garreth. "I see we're gonna have to have another talk." She shuts the menu.

Beth's confessional. Glenn sighs behind the camera, not only worried for his sister in law's new relationship with Garreth but for her underhanded dealings within the house.

"Beth do you ever worry about the things you've done in the house catching up to you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You did cook up Merle's hand and feed it to him, Daryl, and Rick." Beth then gives off a look that alludes to them deserving it, though she wont admit to the act.

"That never happened." Beth shrugs.

Footage is provided of Beth's dealings from a few days ago with Garreth. An overhead camera catches Beth as she walks into the recovery home while Garreth is walking over to greet her. She's holding something wrapped in a blue bandana and hands it to Gareth. "There's some real deserving boys in that house that need a dinner they'll loose a limp over."

"Beth you brought me a hand." Gareth salivates.

"Its Merle's hand." Beth answers with mischief in her eyes.

"It looks a little stale but I'll see what I can do."

The footage switches back to Beth's confessional currently in progress. "We have footage of you on tape Beth, you can't lie to me."

Beth just shrugs, "I still don't recall."

Back at the recovery house, Zen Shane adorns both an angry Andrea and Morgan's head's with flowers, the room is filled with a calming scent. Andrea is both scared and fascinated by the new Shane, but something about this didn't seem right.

"Come children, it's time praise the earth for her loving embrace!" Shane calls out to Morgan, Andrea and even Gareth who was stopping by with Bob and Hershel on crutches.

"Am I the only one who's confused here, I mean why is he acting like this?" Andrea wonders out loud.

"Hey Andrea, can we talk in private?" Morgan asked, never waiting for a response as he wheels the blonde out of room, away form Shane's shaky glance.

"So, are you gonna tell me what's going on with Shane?"

"That man's more insane than ever, but he pretends to hold it together, the staff just plays along because they can't afford to let him out of their sight... also, how's..."

Morgan looks around the empty hallway before whispering Rick's name.

"Oh, Rick is fine, he shoved me down the steeps and that bastard couldn't even tell that I was really in pain-"

"Shhh, don't let Shane hear you say his name... last time I mentioned Rick, he went berserk and nearly cut off Bob and Gareth's heads with a hatchet. Shane wants to purify everything, even memories of Rick, now I know I tried to clear, but this is ridiculous."

Shane chants. "Rick is everything the is evil! Ignorance, lies, murder and... he also has no rhythm... let us cleanse ourselves of the fool who masquerades as king..."

Everyone hums in unison as Shane walks around the room and stops in front of their new guest, Andrea.

"Tell me, one who shots wrong, the reason you are wounded."

"Well, I was pushed down the stairs-"

"By who's hands my child, speak his name?!"

"Uh... Rick?"

"And Morgan, who's shenanigans forced you to leave that house..."

"Pretty much everyone-"

"Yes, but who led these band of fools?"

Morgan sighs as he whispers Rick, making Shane give a fake gasp of shock.

"You see my brothers and sisters, he is evil in the flesh!"

"Hershel, who's wife shot you in the leg-"

"Rick's but I heard they are divorced now. I don't hold a grudge against him."

"And poor Gareth, who's passion for cooking was defiled by Rick's love of mother earth's animals... he stands before us, stripped of his love of exotic cuisine, just to satisfy Rick's lust for beef!"

"Yeah, he wouldn't let me cook Carl, that selfish jerk, I mean, he had one kid, why can't he have another and let me have Carl?!"

Andrea quickly regrets everything she's done to end up here.

Shane notices Andrea wheeling herself out of the room in a hurry. She desperately wants to get back to the main house. Shane steps out into the hallway calling out to her and suddenly the wheels of her chair become stuck. "Beep beep beep!" She swears in frustration. "Beeeepppp!" She screams realizing she can't get away.

"Ceilings are just floors that no one can talk on." Shane says as he presses his hands together like he's praying.

"What?!" Andrea screams.

"A chair has 4 legs, yet it never runs when someone tries to sit on it."

"Oh my god why is this happening to me?" Andrea questions as she tiredly covers her face with her hands.

"Are you truly a free spirit when you're trapped in a body."

"I don't know what the beep you are saying!"

Beth comes down the steps hearing Andrea's voice and rushes towards her grabbing the handles of her wheel chair. "Lord of the light that shines, I must take sunflower child back, her welted petals need tending too." Shane waves a hand and suddenly Andrea's wheel chair can move and it moves fast as Beth is rushing her down the hall.

"Beth what the hell was that?"

"I've been around here long enough to figure out Shane's bullbeep lingo."

"He's rallying people against, Rick."

"It wont go anywhere. If he steps one foot out of the house, Garreth will eat him."

"What do you mean eat him."

"Exactly what I said."

"Beth why is your neck bleeding?"

"Don't ask."