Chapter 25 – History

"It's not the future that you're afraid of. It's repeating the past that makes you anxious."

Time passes and it quickly becomes the history people are reading about in the future. In fifty years, hopefully people are reading books about kids with cancer who had to fight like hell to live. Hopefully they are just popping a pill when it comes to cancer and it magically goes away. We need a cure for pediatric cancer. My child should never have to suffer like this; he shouldn't have to cry when he is in pain because his body was cut open to remove tumors.

He shouldn't be comfortable with the sight of needles after months of poking. He shouldn't be afraid of getting medicine because it might make him sick or feel gross. My child shouldn't have to go through any of this because this isn't fair to him. I wanted it for me. I wanted to do this for him. I prayed that there was a cure tomorrow and that we are the history people are reading about. I don't want to be the wrong time, to miss it by a year, for a cure to magically happy and for my baby to be gone.

I knew Collin had a strong fight still left in him but I was scared that it wasn't going to be enough.

Troy had a history and it scared me. Troy's history scared me and I wasn't sure what to think about it, I wasn't sure if he would be okay with my thoughts, I just wasn't sure what to think anymore with cancer because cancer did have a history.

Cancer had a history of being pure awful.

Sunday, February 22nd, 2015

Denver, CO

Gabi's POV

I rocked Collin back and forth in the room at Troy's house, he was battling sleep and I couldn't help but give a little smile at him. After I was better, Collin was discharged from Boston and we flew on a medical helicopter back to Denver. Once we were back in Denver, he stayed in the hospital until Wednesday when Troy felt like he was healthy enough to go home to rest. He had made leaps and bounds since last Friday.

Saturday he started moving around more and they eased on his pain meds. Once he was off his pain meds a bit more he had more energy and he began to want to do more things. He was having trouble walking but that was slowing getting over. He would tire easy and take many naps during the day but he was doing so much better. A soft knock came at the door and my eyes glanced up to see Troy giving me a soft smile. He was learning against the doorway with a crooked smile on his face as he watched us.

"How long have you been standing there?" I asked him, he crossed his arms to show his muscles flex, "A while," he winked and I gave a small smile back to him, I stood up and put Collin into his bed. I tucked the sheets in around him and kissed his forehead. My nightly check to make sure he didn't have any sort of fever that could lead me to believe of an infection. He twisted onto his side but he grimaced in response.

I pushed off the bed and my eyes found Troy still watching me. I went over and wrapped my arms around his torso and rested against his body. His hands pulled me in and he exhaled, "You doing okay?" he asked me, I nodded my head against him while Troy slowly walked out of the bedroom. "C'mon, I want to cuddle with you," he whispered into my ear, "Cuddle or other things?" I asked back with a little hint of a smile.

Troy laughed, "Sorry babe, I just want to lay with you right now." He walked into the bedroom and I crossed my arms over my chest as I looked at him. "What?" I asked him, he turned to face me and gave me a lazy smile. "Brie, baby, you know how much I love to do those things with you,"

"It's been since the hotel room," I grumbled, Troy raised an eyebrow at me while he crossed his arms again. "You are being a bit demanding," he told me with a rising smirk. I battled his position as I crossed my arms and nodded, "I am being a bit demanding," Troy nodded his head, "I just don't do demanding Gabs," he turned around with his fake annoyed voice and I rolled my eyes for effect. "Fine then," my voice rose in mock anger and I spun towards the door.

I reached it but it slammed shut in front of me, I gasped jumping backwards but I met with Troy's body. His hands were pressed against the door and then he bumped me with his body. I thudded against the door and I turned around to say something but I was met with his mouth against mine. I felt the gasp leave my lips and he took that as an opening to stick his tongue into my mouth. My hands were stuck in the air, as I couldn't process what to do with them.

My mind kept spinning in circles trying to figure out what to do with my hands but I couldn't focus on anything past Troy's lips on my mouth. He pulled away for a minute for us to both breathe, "You don't ever get fake angry with me," he whispered into my ear and I felt my knees weaken. "Then don't ever deny me sex with my sexy boyfriend." Troy tried to keep a smile from his face but he couldn't do it. I kissed his jaw and my hands went up his shirt.

He breathed in sharply when my hands drifted to his waistband of his sweatpants. I reached down and grabbed his ass with my hands and he groaned, he quickly distracted me while kissing my again. He pulled me until we both hit the bed with a thud. I landed on top of him and I wrapped my legs around his waist. I couldn't get myself close enough to Troy, "I need you to be naked, now," I demanded and Troy groaned as I rolled off of him and began to take my clothes off faster than I should ever be able too.

Troy was pulling off his boxers when I rolled back over and pressed my naked body against him. He groaned when I pressed against him and I kissed him again. "I fucking love you," he whispered into my ear, "Everything about you, everything about your body, everything about your past, everything about you now, I love everything." My mind began to slowly spin in the direction of never ending beautiful thoughts, "I love you so much," I whispered back to him.

That is all that we needed to say to each other. It was enough to make us both crave each other so much that we couldn't kiss each other enough, we couldn't move faster, we couldn't do anything as quickly as we wanted too.

I rested my head on Troy's chest and his fingers braided through my hair as our breathing was returning to normal breathing patterns. Neither of us had any urgency to speak words between each other. I felt my chest fill with emotion just lying with him; his arms wrapped around me, because I felt so protected with him right here.

A sinking feeling filled my body, I thought about everything that Troy explained to me and then I came to a conclusion on what my mind was thinking. I knew I needed to ask him or tell him because I couldn't get any further and fear that he'll leave me when I am too invested before ending our relationship would be too much. I was already scared of losing him but what if he didn't want me?

My hands pushed off his body before I let any of my emotions take over and it concerned him. "You okay?" he asked me, the words rolled lazily off his tongue, his hands slid around my torso and I swallowed against the lump in my throat. I just nodded my head but Troy knew better than that. He sat up and moved my hair so he could place a gentle kiss on my bare shoulder. I squeezed my eyes shut trying to keep everything inside because we just had an amazing time together. I loved him and nothing would ever change that but would his opinion of me differ if I told him what I couldn't shake? What if we never made it past this? Doctor, patient, mother situation, what if we were stuck and he had no intention of doing anything else.

"Troy," I choked out, "Where are we going?" Troy didn't speak from behind me for a couple of minutes, "What do you mean Gabi?" I knew the question sat with him how I meant it. He knew I was asking where is this relationship going, "I mean where are we going?" I asked again, "Where is this relationship going?" my lips finally spit out the correct words.

He finally sighed and pulled me into his lap, "Not the kind of talk I like to hear after mind blowing sex," he whispered into my ear and I felt bad because whatever just happened between us was…amazing. The way it was a mix between hot and dirty and down right romantic. The way he loved me and told me that I was important to him. Yet, was I important enough?

"It scares me how much I love you Troy," he tilted his forehead to rest against mine and I felt tears pull into my eyes. Troy put his hand on my cheek and held me close to him, "Brie, I love you so much and I see nothing but a future with you, if that is what you need to know, I see everything from a long aisle of flowers and a life after that and a family together," my stomach jolted at the word family and fear consumed my body. This is what we needed to talk about and what if this is what changed his mind. What if this was the end?

I went quiet but he knew there was more by just the look in my eyes, he saw the fear spread through my eyes at the mention of a word family, or maybe he was confused on my intentions of what I wanted from him. "Brie, what is it?" There pure concern in his eyes opened the floodgates as the tears started to stream down my face, "What if I can't have kids with you?" I asked him as tears were beginning to hit his hand, his thumb wiped them away while he registered the words. His face softened in response to my statement and I knew he didn't get it. He didn't understand what I was trying to say, "Were you not supposed to have children?" he asked me with a touch of hesitation. He didn't know if this was a touchy subject or not, he didn't know if I was some type of infertile. I wish it were the case though.

I shook my head because I didn't want to explain it to him, I didn't want to have to tell him what was really bothering me because that was going to completely crush him, I pushed off the bed because it was going to crush him when I said it aloud. "Gabi," I walked into the bathroom and I pulled a t-shirt over my head. It was Troy's and I knew that instantly by the smell that I was hugged with when it landed just above my knees.

"Gabs," his words were a bit more stressed as he pulled on his sweatpants. "What do you mean?" I didn't want to speak as I turned to face him. He surveyed my face, his eyes flickering from my eyes, to my mouth and it steamed down my body. He was trying to find the source of the problem. His mind was turning quickly trying to figure it out.

"I can have kids Troy," I told him; my eyes held his and it hit him like a truck as he grimaced as if I caused him pain. He ran his fingers through his hair and pulled at the ends as he tried to find the words to say the next thing, "You just don't want to have kids with me," I didn't respond and I began to talk through the blubber of tears that were causing my face to turn bright red and my eyes to strain, "and if you can't handle that then I need to know right now because I need to leave, because I need to find out how I am going to live without you in my life because you are my drug that is making this life so much easier."

Troy blinked looking at me, his face had curiosity and hurt written across it causing my heart to shred a little bit more. "Why?" he asked me with sincere words. My jaw clicked in place and it covered my eyes. "I can't have another child with cancer Troy and we both have had kids with cancer. I can't go through this again." He didn't think about it, he just came over and wrapped me in his arms, "Oh Brie," he whispered, "baby," I couldn't stop the tears and the sobs coming from my mouth as he held me tightly in his arms. My fingers gripped to his arm as I cried against him. His arms held me tight against his body, we some how ended up on the bathroom floor. I was sitting in his lap while he leaned back against the wall. His eyes were sad as I looked at him, "I'm sorry Troy," he shook his head, "Please don't be sorry Brie," his voice was quiet, "I understand where you are coming from but Neuroblastoma isn't genetic, it is chance, and an awful chance." He whispered but my heart still hurt. "That doesn't change the AML in your family," Troy stroked my hair and he sighed, "Yea, that is there, and maybe I just lied. There are cases of genetic Neuroblastoma but we can look and run tests to make sure that it didn't happen because of you or Joe. He is the first case in your family so I would tend to lean towards it is not genetic with you." Troy inhaled as he kept talking which seemed to relax me.

"AML can be genetic and my family does have the gene but can I be honest with you Gabi," I only nodded my head again him, not willing to look into his eyes, "If we have a kid together, we can run tests if we have any concerns and we would keep an eye out for everything. Maybe I was naïve with Baker, but I am trained, and I see it now in the smallest of ways. I just don't want to see you be afraid Gabs,"

"I wasn't scared until I heard about you and Sammy having cancer Troy, I was one hundred percent willing," he kissed the top of my head gently, "That's what you meant when that changes everything in the hospital that day," I nodded my head against him and he sighed, "How about we get through Collin's cancer and then approach this subject," Troy said gently but I shook my head, "No, Troy, if this is a problem for you and maybe, yes, I could change my mind but right now I can't do it. I have watched my baby suffer and I can't bring another one into this world knowing that it might be a possibility of that babies life. I just can't do that right now but if that is a problem for you then I have to know. It could never change and I cant have you one day hate me because of it. I can't have you hate me and not want to be with me when I love you."

I was looking at him as the truth spilled out and he gave me sad blue eyes, I wish I would have never thought about this tonight. We had such a good night and Collin had such a good night. It was a good day and I was trying to figure out what happened. "Gabi, I am always going to love you and if we never have a child together then I'll be okay. If it comes down to it we could adopt or something along those lines but," his fingers gazed my jaw, "I love you, nothing will change that, do you understand?" I nodded my head weakly and I wrapped my arms around his neck. My face buried into his neck as I breathed him in. "I love you Troy," his hands squeezed my sides and I tried to stop the tears from forming but it happened because I loved him. I loved Troy so much and I just couldn't wait for cancer to be over so I could get on with my life with him. So Collin could finally be a three-year old again. That is all I wanted.

Monday, February 23rd, 2015

"Mommy," I felt his poke to my cheek and I grabbed his tiny hand, "What's wrong baby?" I mumbled from my sleep, "I'm cold," I opened my eyes to look at him and his cheeks were flushed. I sat up in bed as I fumbled with the lamp, "My belly hurts," Troy rolled onto his back next to me, his arm still covering his eyes while I pulled Collin into bed with us.

My lips pressed to his forehead and he didn't feel too warm but he felt a little. I shoved Troy and he groaned, "What?" his words were tired and drained from the emotions of the evening, "Collin might be running a fever," he opened his eyes and then closed them again once the light filtered in. He rubbed his eyes with his palms while he opened his eyes. He sat up and he held his hand to Collin's forehead. "Does your belly hurt?"

He nodded his head and Troy lifted his t-shirt off his little boy and examined his incisions on his belly. They were clean, not red, and looked good to me. "I'll go grab the thermometer," I slid out of bed and went into the bathroom.

I then handed it to Troy who took his temperature. It beeped and Troy glanced at it, "Low grade, nothing that we need to go to the hospital for," I sat down on the bed and Troy rubbed his eyes again. Collin snuggled in our bed while I lay down next to him. "Could something be wrong?" I asked Troy, he shook his head no, "No, he is probably fine. Just a little worked up,"

"Why does his belly hurt?" I questioned confused, "It could just be sore. He hasn't had many pain meds recently." I kissed his forehead, "Should I give him some?"

"Yea, that might make him feels better. I'll get it though," he rolled out of the bed and went to retrieve his pain medication. Collin snuggled up against me while we waited for Troy. Troy came back rubbing his eyes thoroughly as he handed Collin two pills and he swallowed them like a champ.

Troy then laid back down, and his blue eyes settled on me, "Go back to sleep Troy, you have to get up in the morning and go to work." He reached over to rub the top of my head gently, his fingers running through my hair, "I'm okay," his voice was tender as he was still heavily drowsy. I grabbed his hand and kissed his hand softly, he closed his eyes for a moment and my eyes found a clock in the corner. It was five in the morning, thirty minutes before Troy had to get up.

"Do you think Collin is going to be okay?" I questioned, he nodded his head without speaking and I took a deep breath closing my eyes. "Get some rest Brie," he leaned over and kissed the top of my head gently. I opened my eyes to look at him and he smiled at me, "I love you," he whispered, "I love you too," our hands linked together above Collin and we laid like this until his alarm started buzzing at five-thirty.

He groaned quietly and moved to grab his cell phone. The bright light made his face glow and he put his arm over his eyes.

Collin shifted and curled up on Troy's side. "No, no, if he does this I will not get out of bed." I couldn't help but laugh as I pulled Collin closer to me. He whined and Troy rolled out of bed. He went into the bathroom and shut the door quietly while the shower kicked on.

I quietly left the bed and crept downstairs into his kitchen. I began a pot of coffee and began to make Troy a simple breakfast. I knew he didn't like to eat much early in the morning, preferring to wait until later in the morning.

"Gabs?" his voice came closer and I peeked around the corner, "What are you doing?" he asked me, and his eyes surveyed the kitchen with a bagel and fruit with coffee. "You need to go back to bed," he told me and I took the tie that was hanging on his shoulder.

"Come here," Troy arched an eyebrow and he gave me a look, I popped his collar to lay his tie and he gave me a smirk, "I didn't know you knew how to tie a tie." I smirked back at him as I knotted it tightly and slid it up; I laid his collar flat and then pulled him into a kiss. "My mom showed me how to tie one a very long time ago," I said as I ran my hands down his shirt and he smiled again as he kissed me again, "You made me breakfast,"

"You can either eat it now or later, I just…I wanted to make up for last night. It was a bit ridiculous." Troy shook his head and rubbed the back of my neck gently, "It was not. It was something that we needed to talk about because you're right, if one of us wasn't okay with that, then we needed to know." He stroked my hair and kissed my forehead, "I love you Gabi, and I will only do everything to keep you smiling and happy." I snuggled into his chest and he held me in his arms. "I love you," I whispered tilting my head to look at him.

He smiled giving me another kiss, "I love you too, and keep a good eye on Collin today and make sure that fever doesn't jump." I nodded as I smiled; "Yes sir," Troy smiled and his arms wrapped me up tightly

"You make it so hard to leave every morning," he whispered into my hair, I smiled tugging on him as I gave him another kiss but Troy took it a step further. His tongue ran over my lips and he backed me into the counter.

I groaned, as our kisses grew frequent and needy, our hands roamed to the places we were desperate to touch. Troy finally broke apart and my lips went below his ear as his breathing was labored.

"Did I mention that you make it so hard to leave in the morning?" I laughed and pulled away as I brushed my fingers over his jaw. "Go, I love you," he smiled and squeezed my chin.

"Lunch?" he asked me with a smile, "Please?"

"We have an appointment tomorrow," I told him ignoring his request, he gave me a look, "What?" I asked, "I know we have an appointment tomorrow. We are going to talk about getting ready to start his stem cell transplant." I frowned as I thought back to Ryan's and nodded my head, "Okay,"

He kissed my forehead, "We'll talk about it more tonight, alright?" I nodded my head and he backed out of the kitchen grabbing his breakfast and coffee. "Call me if you need anything," I smiled and nodded as he disappeared down the stairs.

I poured myself a glass of wine and ventured down to the living room. Collin spent most of the day watching movies on the floor; his fever never went greater than it did this morning when Troy checked it.

I had yet to actually hear from Troy today, I sent him a text message earlier today but he was fairly busy recently as he was trying to catch up from Boston.

I picked up Collin's toys and dumped them into the toy bin the corner. I then reached over for my cell phone and called Sam.

"Hey stranger!"

"Hello," I pronounced as I kicked back on the leather couch, my feet propped up on the table in the middle of the living room. "What are you up too?" I leaned back with a smile, "I am enjoying a nice glass of wine while laying on my boyfriends couch,"

"Oh, it Troy home?"

"Not yet, he must be working late tonight. He didn't tell me about a twenty-four hour shift,"

"He must have gotten caught up at work, what have you and Co been up too?"

"Recovering," I said as I examined my nails for a moment, "Collin was pretty tired today but if Ryan is feeling up to it, I think Collin is about ready for a play date,"

"Yay! I miss you guys. We should have a girls night when Troy isn't working one night," I smiled, "That sounds like a great idea. I feel like I haven't seen Mariah in forever," Sam sighed, "So how is everything with Troy?" my lips went mute and Sam didn't say anything for a minute. The air around me shrunk as it had been a while since I had seen Sam, or even talked to her.

"Gabi," her voice concerned that something happened between the two of us, something did happen between the two of us but…not what she was thinking.

"We're great," I said quickly there after, "We just had a pretty tough conversation not that long ago," I mumbled, "About what?" she asked me and I realized I never told any of them about Troy's past.

I didn't want too. It wasn't my place to tell but I needed to spill my guts so she would understand our heart to heart last night. My gut shredded thinking about having somebody else know about his past and the horrible time that he went through. Thinking about it made my stomach hurt, I began to explain slowly and carefully about Troy's past trying not to leave out important details.

Sam stayed quiet most of the time, giving the appropriate gasps and quiet whispers of oh my god along the way and once I was finished she was silent. "Gabi…" neither of us said anything for a couple of moments, "I would have never guessed that about him. Wow, I can't believe that." I nodded, "I know, I was shocked." I told her.

"So last night, I told him, that I wasn't sure if I could ever have kids with him because I can't have my kid ever have cancer again. I can't do this again and well…he confirmed how much I love him because he doesn't care. He loves me and well…I love him."

"Gabi, I am so happy for you. I still can't believe everything about his past though," I nodded my head because I was still trying to get all of the information to digest, weeks after I heard it. It made me want to hug him all the time.

"It is a little bit crazy," my eyes wondered to the clock to see it approaching eleven at night. "I better let you go," I told her quietly, "It was nice to talk to you again Gabi, I kind of miss rooming with you."

"I miss it too. I'll talk to Troy about a night he isn't working so us girls can go out,"

"Sounds like a plan, love you girl," I smiled because it made me feel good to know that I had friends that loved me and cared about me. It was nice having somebody behind my back at all times and that would always be there for me. "I love you too Sam," I hung up the phone and finished my wine. I got up and I walked to the kitchen as I stared at the clock to see that Troy should have been home by now.

I sent Troy another text message as I filled my glass again, I wondered down the hallway and I peered into Collin's room to see him sleeping peacefully. His chest was rising up and down with ease as he hugged his favorite blanket closer to him; I then looked at the door to the left. It was ajar and I crept quietly into the room flipping on the light. The room popped with lights, as the walls were pure white, a window along the front wall.

My eyes were greeted with the room of boxes that I saw the first night I ever stayed the night, the doctor hand writing clearly on the side of the box. I got closer to it and I could finally understand the letters on the box. My stomach dropped down to my knees, a dizzy spell spilled over me and I couldn't figure out why this affected me so much.

Baker.

My stomach did a flip-flop as I peeled back the box and was greeted with a picture frame on top. I sat my wine glass down on another box and I picked up the picture frame. The black frame was framing the happy people in the picture; the snapshot of a memory that he would never get back, and I could only assume it was one of the last happy memories that Troy could possibly recall with his beautiful daughter. Troy was holding a young girl in his arms and they were both smiling at each other.

It must have been pre-cancer because the girl, Baker, had hair running down her back, her smile was contagious as I smiled just looking at it. My heart then broke because of the back-story, because of the thought that she wasn't here right now. I looked at her beautiful face that had big round cheeks, her eyes were a bright blue and she was so beautiful. My eyes drifted to a very young Troy Bolton staring back at me, his smile so large, a smile I have never seen that often. His shoulders were relaxed and he was happy. I was sad that he was tainted by a horrible past that caused his heart to shatter and have to rebuild. I knew that he had a great heart now, and that he loved me. I bit down on my lip holding back tears as I sat the picture frame back inside.

I picked up another picture frame and this time there was three of them in the picture. This one was during cancer as her hair was more of a boy-style cut and her bones were thinner. Her body seemed tired and those eyes had black bags buried underneath of them. Her blue eyes were less vibrant than the previous pictures where she seemed to have a bundle of energy.

Her smile was just as contagious though, my eyes drifted to the girl in the picture as she was standing next to Troy and Troy was holding Baker tightly in his arms. Callie had her arms wrapped around Troy's bicep, her nails were done nicely and her auburn hair was pulled up in a messy bun. My eyes scanned the background to see they were outside holding each other during some warm day. Their shirts were short sleeved, and they seemed to have a glow about their skin.

She was looking over at Baker with a smile, her eyes not directed at the camera. The sadness was full in her face, I knew the thoughts that were running in her head too well as she looked at her baby full of cancer. The look that she wanted to do anything to protect her innocent baby full of cancer, she wanted to battle the battle for her and hug her extra close. I could see the inner emotion trying to escape while she tightened her grip of Troy, trying to keep herself from completely shattering while she watched her baby fall apart.

I single tear fell down my face and I wiped it away as I stashed the picture frame away, I picked up my wine glass and I twisted around to see Troy leaning against the door frame. His eyes were watching me closely but nothing about him seemed completely upset. He didn't seem to be angry that I was right here but my gut kicked me again. I was snooping through his stuff and maybe he wasn't ready for me to see all of this.

I jumped out of my skin and placed my hand over my heart as it was racing. He was undoing the tie that I tied many hours ago, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry, I just…I walked in and I saw her name," Troy glanced up at me and he nodded his head slowly, "It's okay," he told me, I walked over, "It's not okay if you didn't want me be in here Troy,"

"I haven't been in here in a long time, actually, not until we got back from Boston. I came in here the other night and looked at those same two pictures. The before and the after shot." His eyes seemed a bit haunted with the thought of the before and after. "You live here Gabs," he whispered to me, his fingers brushing back hair, "This room isn't a shrine of their past, it is just, where everything went Y'know?" I let my thumb run across his jaw.

"They were both beautiful," Troy gave a hint of a sad smile, "Thanks," he whispered, I could see his jaw working over time, "Troy," I whispered as I put my glass down again, "Are you okay?"

He pulled in a deep breath and nodded his head while looking at me, "Just a rough day at work, one of my patients passed away today, it is the reason I stayed longer. I stayed with her parents and made sure they were okay."

"I'm sorry," my fingers ran across the hair by his ear, "Those are the worst moments, being with the parents right after it happens because I only think of Callie in that moment. The moment I saw her heart break and shatter, there was no repairing it and you can see it in these peoples faces, they lost their little girl and there is no repairing that," my mind rapidly went to what if that was Collin and I? What if I was the one sobbing as my son took his last breath because I know my heart would shatter, I know there would be no fixing it, and I know that I would be forever scared because of it. My heart began to race and my eyes filled with tears.

I sucked in a deep breath and I tried to force a smile on my face, Troy sighed and then he looked at me face and he must have seen the fear written all over it. "Oh no, Gabs,"

"No, I'm fine, I just thought about if that was Collin and that scared me. I don't know why I did it but…" he wrapped me in a hug and kissed the top of my head. "Collin is going to get better. Kyle and I talked about everything today and we are both confident in our approach."

I didn't let many tears fall as I held on to him, "I missed you," I whispered, Troy smiled and stroked my face, "I am so glad I came home to you and not an empty house. It would have made this night so much worse,"

"Come on," I dragged his hand through the house and then we went into the bedroom. Troy went into the bathroom to change and I sat down on the bed. "Troy, what is stem cell transplants like?" he shifted and his eyes found mine as he on a pair of basketball shorts.

"It is hard and exhausting,"

"How was it with Baker?" Troy dropped his head for a moment and then he sighed, "Baker never made it that far, remember? She went in for her pre-scans and the cancer had rapidly grown back telling them that there wasn't much more they could do for her but make her comfortable."

"Oh," I felt my chest tighten, "That won't happen with Collin will it?" he shook his head, "No, it won't."

"How do you know?"

"I just know," he replied lying on his stomach. His blue eyes flickered to mine, and he surveyed to see if he should continue with the thought that was running through his head. He closed his mouth and then he opened it again, words spilling, "Transplant is going to be rough, it could last a very long time and you could spend months in the hospital." My stomach did a flip-flop as Troy walked over and sat on the bed. I sat up and Troy slid his hand along my leg, he then leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on my lips. "Don't stress too much about it now. We have a good four to six weeks before we even think about starting the transplant."

He kissed me again while I wrapped my arms around his neck while kissing him a little bit harder. "You'll be there for me,"

"All the time," he smiled kissing me; I pulled away and let my headrest on his shoulder. "I really want to take you out on a date, I feel like our relationship has been in a hospital for the past several months. Can we go on a date?" he asked me quietly, I nodded my head into his shoulder, "If you'll take one night off this week so I can go out with Sam and Mariah," he pulled back and he stroked my face. "Of course, God, you need some time away from this."

"I love you," I told him, he smiled and kissed me, he pushed me back against the top of the bed gently, his body hovering over mine. "But first, I am taking you out on a date tomorrow. Sammy is going to watch Collin at our house, and we are going to have a nice night together. Okay?" I nodded and kissed him again. "I love you too, I'm sorry about your day and snooping,"

"You weren't snooping," he stressed, "You walked into a room that had boxes with my daughters name on them. You looked at them and if I found boxes that I knew about the past, I would probably open them too. One day, I need to go through it, I need to figure out what needs to be donated and what needs to be brought back into the house." He went quiet for a couple of minutes while he thought about it and he sighed, his nose pressing into my skin. We stayed like this for some time, just holding each other, braving this world out one day at a time.

Wednesday, February 25th, 2015

Troy's POV

I scanned the documents and then glanced at the clock, a routine that I had been doing all day long. My eyes would constantly drift from my work to the clock because Gabi and I were going on a date tonight and I was excited. We hadn't been on a date with each other in a very long time and it was beginning to stress me out because I still had several things I wanted to know about her and I wanted to spend more quality time with her.

Internally, I felt like I was racing the clock with her. I felt like I had to get all of my time in before something happened. My body wanted to know everything about her and I couldn't wait until I got another couple hours alone with her. I had a plan of action tonight, and that was to go to a hole in the wall restaurant, followed by a night at one of my favorite places to go in Denver. I rolled my chair back as the floor was slow and I was incredibly ready for a change of scenery.

"Collin's scans are in," I glanced up at Kyle who was holding a file, we had decided that Collin should go through a set of scans yesterday to send to Dr. Andrew's and to see how his body is holding up after surgery. I reached for them and Kyle gladly gave them to me, I scooted back to the light board as I quickly put the films against the light. I felt my shoulders lighten and my stomach send a round of butterflies. "Hot damn," I took down the first film and looked at the second, the third, and the fourth. I read the reports from the radiologist three times before I looked at Kyle who was giving me a smile.

"Are you going to call her or what?" I laughed and tilted my head back, "No, I actually think, I am going to leave." Kyle let his eyes slid to the clock, the same move I had been making all day long. "Go," I smiled as I ditched my white coat and pulled on my jacket. I gathered all of my paper work and I spun around to find Kyle talking to a nurse. "Ky," his eyes found mine and I held Collin's file in my hands. "I am going to bring her here later. I want her to see it. Can you get out his old scans?" he nodded with a smile, "I can."

"Thank you,"

Gabi's POV

"Co," I warned as he pushed his food aside, "I don't want to eat,"

"Fine," I replied as I finished doing the dishes, I looked down at my dark skinny jeans with a white sweater. My feet were still bare but I planned on putting a pair of black ankle boots and put the finishing touches with jewelry. "Gabi," I heard Sammy's voice and she climbed the steps of her brother's house. She was in a pair of leggings and a long t-shirt with her Columbia jacket on. "Hey Sammy," I said with a smile, Collin looked at me and then at her. He then busted into tears, he slid down from the table and ran over to me.

Sammy gave a concerned face and I picked him up, "He's tired," I told her quietly as I rubbed his back, "He might be in a bit of pain as well. He was quiet tonight." She nodded as she sat her purse down and she then pulled her hair into a tight up knot. "How did you snag a day off from the bar?" I asked her as I picked up his meal that wasn't finished as he clung to me. "Thursday's are normally my day off, I just worked through a lot of football Thursdays though," I nodded my head when I heard the garage door lift.

"Brie," Troy's voice was excited and that made a smile pull to my face. He hopped up the set of stairs and he looked at Collin, his face fell slightly. "Is he okay?" I nodded my head, "Yea, he is just tired. He freaked out when he saw Sammy."

"We're still going right?" he was nervous now and I laughed, "Yes, I just need to finish getting ready to go, Co, do you want to go see Troy?" he lifted his head and Troy came over to kiss his head. "Co," he reached for Troy and Troy gladly accepted him. "Oh just the little man I wanted to see," Troy hugged him tight and I saw Sammy struggle with a smile. "Sammy, can you come help me?" I asked and she looked at me with a surprised nod.

Troy gave me a questioning look and I smiled back at Troy, we walked through the house as Sammy followed me back into the bedroom. "You okay?" Sammy asked, I nodded as I slipped on my ankle boots, "Yea, I just have a question," she nodded as I sat back on the bed, "How destroyed was Troy after everything?" Sammy sighed and rubbed her hands together, "He was upset, of course, he was upset but he never slipped Y'know? Callie, she slipped big time. My mom slipped. Renee, Callie's mom, she slipped. Troy…skated gracefully. He kept going and it took him a really long time to grieve."

"When did he do that?" I asked as I put in a pair of earrings, "He never had a moment that it finally happened, it just…happened slowly. He slowly came to terms with it and he just skated. He didn't slip." She said with a simple shrug. I turned to finally look at her and I was trying to decide if it was unhealthy that he didn't slip. She nodded her head, "Yea, we thought about it too but it has been many years,"

"You know he never went through their stuff after he moved in here? That it is all still sitting in the box?" Sammy nodded her head, "We all have our demons Gabi, and maybe he hasn't dealt with it completely but I don't think he is going to one day find the bottle of vodka and never stop drinking. I think one day, he might have a really bad day, and he might stumble across the ground because he did lose his precious daughter but he isn't going to slip."

I breathed and went over to hug Sammy, "Thank you,"

"No, thank you, you have been a blessing to Troy,"

"I'm just scared that I will lose Collin, and then Troy will have to go through all of that again," Sammy sighed, "How about you just focus on the now with Collin?"

"Do you think Troy would slip?" Sammy pursed her lips together and she shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know, I hope we never find out."

I stirred my food slowly in a circle as Troy hooked his foot with mine. "You okay?" I nodded my head with a big smile, "I am, and I am just pretty tired. I miss you as well," he gave me a smile, "I am right here," I nodded my head and I looked at me food, I then got up and slid into his side of the booth. My head lay on his shoulder and he picked up my hand, his lips pressing into my hair. "I love you," I smiled, "I love you too."

"I want to know new things about you, I feel like our dating has been suspended since forever ago." I laughed quietly, "What do you want to know?" Troy put down his fork and his thumb skimmed my legs. "I want to know anything about you Gabs," I laughed leaning into him again, "Let's see, I'll be thirty in a couple of years, I love to read on rainy days, having sex with you is possibly my favorite activity," this caused a reaction from Troy with a laugh, his thumb going further up my thigh, my stomach started to twist while I began to talk again, "I miss working,"

Troy's finger unsnapped my button on my skinny jeans and his fingers slipped below. "Mr. Bolton," I said, my breathing strained, "Doctor," he corrected as he leaned in close, his warm breath on my skin. Goosebumps ran down my body and I reached for his wrist, "This is highly inappropriate,"

"There isn't a toddler here," he whispered, I closed my eyes and tried to appear completely normal. His hand slowly slid away and I let out a whimper because I had such high expectations, "I have such a surprise for you though, come on," I opened my eyes to stare at him blankly and he just gave me a goofy smile. I blinked as he laid down cash and he shoved me out of the booth. I laughed as he then wrapped me tightly in his arms.

His lips pressing against mine as he kissed me again, his hand slipped into mine as we walked outside. He unlocked his car door and then opened it up for me. I slid inside as he shut the door and jogged around to my side. My eyes looked at the stars glowing outside and Troy put the car into gear. He maneuvered out of the parking lot quietly, my hand reached for the stereo while Troy began to drive. "Tell me about Baker,"

Troy didn't talk for a moment but he exhaled after several minutes, "Where did her name come from? It is so unique," I finally asked and Troy gave a smile, "We joked during Callie's pregnancy that Baker was going to be a baker because Callie always wanted sweets from this bakery on campus. Everyday, I would swing by and get her something different. She always wanted something sweet and it was a constant joke between us that she was going to be a baker…" he laughed, "So one day when we were arguing over names she finally got mad and asked me to go to the bakery to get the baker something."

I smiled watching him talk about a fond memory, "Callie just turned and gave me this big goofy smile, and she was like, Troy, her name is Baker." He chuckled, "Bre was her mom's mothers name and she had just died from a brain tumor so we thought it fit." I smiled, "That is a really awesome story," I told him, "How did you decide on Collin?" I smiled looking out the window, "When I was growing up, I dreamed of having children some day so I often wrote down some of my favorite names," I laughed and Troy smiled over at me.

"So I went back and I looked at them because I was crazy enough to keep them and do you know the name that was constantly repeated? Collin. I have always loved it." Troy reached over and squeezed my knee tightly, "I love it." I smiled as I looked up to see we were pulling into the hospital. I frowned, "Troy, what are we doing?"

"I have something to show you." He said with a big grin, I gave him a questioning look and he just nodded. I trusted Troy and slipped out of the car as I met him in the middle as he stretched his hand to mine. He locked his car and we ventured into the hospital together, "Dr. Bolton," was quickly called out and he shook his head, "Not on duty," he called as he dragged me through the hospital. I laughed following him and we raced up the stairs together.

He got to the floor I dreaded the most and he pulled me back into the offices. "Troy, what on earth are we doing?" I asked him with a laugh, he flipped on his office light and I saw scans were still up on his light board. "Stay here," he said and I rooted to my spot. He moved across the room with ease. He was dressed in a pair of light washed jeans with a navy t-shirt. He had light brown pair of shoes on that stretched over his ankles.

"Shut the lights off," he told me, I shut them off and he turned the board on. I looked at the picture on the right that was full of tumors and disease and then the one on the left was…empty. "What is that?" I asked him, I didn't see him cross the room and wrap an arm around my waist gently. "That is Collin's scans," I felt my heart rate slow down and my hands begin to shake, "That is what?" I asked quietly, tears filled my eyes and Troy laughed behind me. His chest vibrated and he nodded his head in the faint light. "That is Collin's scans from yesterday." He whispered into my ear pointing to the scans on the left.

I covered my mouth and I felt my knees go weak. Troy held me up and I turned to face him, he gave me a goofy grin, "I figured you would like that," he whispered, his forehead resting against mine. "What does this mean?" I asked him and he smiled, "That means that Collin doesn't have a lot of evidence of disease. He has some traces but there aren't any tumors, after almost seven months of treatment and his surgeries he is ready for his bone marrow transplant."

Tears began to stream down my cheeks and Troy wrapped me tightly in his arms, "We still have a long way to go Brie, but we are taking steps in the right direction," his thumb gazed over my chin and I held onto his hand. "Troy, you have no idea how happy this makes me," he kissed my forehead and he then started to kiss me. His lips pressing against mine in an urgent way that made me want to pin him back up against the wall. His lips were warm and so inviting.

"I am so in love with you, and the fact that you are helping my son get better," Troy kissed me again, "I would do absolutely anything for Collin Gabi, you have no idea how happy I was to see and read the report. He is getting better, his tumor in his shoulder is basically gone and that is amazing," I laughed again and I looked at the two pictures again. I laughed and then kissed him again, Troy and I were not going to repeat any sort of history. We were going to march forward with smiles on our faces; we have history so we don't repeat the present.

Having Troy holding my hand through this process is amazing and uplifting knowing that I will never be alone. I will never have to be alone again, and I was so okay with that.

EK!

I hope you all enjoyed it! I am sorry it took a couple of weeks but it is here! Don't expect an update next weekend! I'll be out of town for most of the week! Sorry guys!

Please Review!