Sorry guys I was busy yesterday. Also Jessica (Arizona) and Kevin (Owen) had a birthday yesterday so yaaay for them. :)
"No, no, no, Sofia let mommy sleep," Callie whisper yelled to her daughter who was about to burst into the master bedroom and wake Arizona up. "Mornin," Sofia said to Callie and pointed out the window. It was one of those rear days when it was sunny in Seattle. "Yes, it is but mommy needs sleep okay?" Sofia pouted but nodded eventually. I looked at the clock and it showed 9am which was pretty late even for Arizona to sleep in. "What do you want for breakfast baby?" Callie asked Sofia who was running from TV Callie. "Panks," she said and grinned. "Okay you can go wake mommy now." Sofia giggled and ran off to the bedroom. A big noice came out of the bedroom followed by a laughter. "Everything okay in there?" Callie yelled as she was making pancakes with eggs and bacon. She hasn't made a breakfast like this in a really long time so she was going to enjoy it. "Yeah," Arizona yelled back and Sofia's loud laugh filled the apartment.
Arizona stumbled out of the bedroom still slightly shoken up from a rough wake up. "Mmm something smells incredible." Callie looked up from the food she was placing on the plates and smiled. "Yeah I really haven't done that in a while." Sofia climbed on her chair and sat down. "Hey uhm can we talk.. later?" Arizona asked quietly. Callie just shot her a small smile and a nod. There it went. The talk question. It was a step. "Need any help?" Arizona awkwardly asked not sure what to do next. "Sure just grab those plates." Arizona did as she was told and they all sat down. "Park?" Sofia asked in the middle of the breakfast. She wasn't used to being home with both parents are the same time but she loved the attention she was getting. "Mmm we'll see about that. Is your room clean?" Arizona teased. "Too little," Sofia replied almost instantly in defense. "That might not be the worse idea ever. We can help you," Callie said. Sofia's room was a bit messy since the little girl liked to wake up early and play alone. "Park," Sofia tried again but got the same respond as before.
"Wow," Arizona said looking at Sofia's room. It wasn't dirty, dirty but it had toys everywhere. Callie chuckled softly as Sofia looked around innocently. "My woom," she said proudly. "Definitely a Sloan," Callie said to herself. Arizona started walking towards the bed. "Don't step on the legos. Hurts like hell," Callie warned her as they all made a plan on how to clean it. Arizona sat down by the bed and Sofia sat down between her legs. "Okay why don't you help me put all the legos back in this box," Arizona said smiling. Sofia nodded and started picking one after one and placing it back in the box. Callie picked up all the barbies and dolls. "You have way too many toys just for yourself," Callie said and looked at Sofia for a brief moment. "Zola toys too," Sofia said and smiled proudly when all the legos were in the box. "Yes but Zola will share her toys with Bailey while you princess Sofia have them all to yourself." Sofia just kinda shrugged and giggled. "I think we're ready for park now," Arizona said and got from the floor. "Yaay," Sofia yelled and grabbed her shoes.
Callie drove to a park where even younger kids like Sofia had a lot to play with. Sofia immediately ran to a slide both Callie and Arizona watching her careful as they sat down on the bench not too close to each other but also not too far. "I just wanna know why," Callie said breaking the silence. "Was I not enough? Was I not good enough anymore? Did you get bored of me?" Arizona bit herself in the tongue for bringing the talk up in the morning but she also knew they had to get this over with. "No, no. You were perfect. You are perfect. I just.." Arizona shattered not really knowing wht to say. "If this iss the it's not you, it's me part just drop it," Callie said through a sigh hating herself for bringing this up. She focused back on Sofia who was running around giggling and playing. "It was flattering," Arizona said breaking the silence. "Nevermind I don't want to hear it," Callie said interrupting Arizona. "Can you please hear me out?" Arizona pleaded. "I heard you pretty damn fine when you told me that I wasn't on the freaking plane and that I didn't lose anything." Arizona sighed and leaned back. Teddy left to go back which meant Arizona didn't really have many people to talk to at the moment which it was her own fault but still she hated it.
"I didn't mean any of it," Arizona said softly not wanting to scare Callie after she was focused on Sofia. "The.. the cheating and w-what I told you that night. And then leaving," Arizona said explaining herself. "Well that doesn't really undo it," Callie snaps but still quiet enough for Sofia not to hear them. "Well I can't undo it as much as I'd want to," Arizona snaps back. "There shouldn't be anything to undo, Arizona. We were finally fine. I mean at least I thought we were. Why did you have to do that?" Callie's voice cracked on the last part but she continued before Arizona could answer her. "And you know what when I got home that day I was ready to just forget that it ever happened. I was so upset. I still am but we have Sofia. And, and I didn't want to throw all this away. But you were gone. You didn't even say a goodbye. Is there something wrong with me? Because all important people in my life tend to cheat on me and leave me a lot." Arizona didn't want to make an eye contact. This was not she wanted her first day back home to be but it was her fault.
Callie didn't getting any reply really pissed her off. "Yeah that's what I thought." She walked towards Sofia to push her on the swings as Arizona sat there fighting her emotions and trying to figure a way how to fix this. "God Tim I really need you right now," she mumbled quietly to herself and in that right moment there was a thunder. "Fabulous," Arizona said sarcastically. She was grateful no one else was around since they'd think she's crazy for talking to herself. She looked at the sky and saw grey clouds which meant rain. "Me no wanna go," Sofia whined as she ran towards Arizona and created a pout face. Arizona already knew what it was about. "But baby it's gonna rain and we don't want you to get sick now, do we?" Sofia shook her head and sighed. Arizona picked her up and Sofia immediately wrapper her arms around around Arizona's neck. They walked to the car, Callie and Arizona not looking at each other or talking to each other. They parked just in time for rain to start pouring down. Arizona chuckled to herself since she was mumbled to herself about needing Tim and now it was raining.
After Sofia was put down for her nap Arizona went in the bathroom and digged in her pockets for cigarettes and a lighter. She hasn't smoked in a long time but she really needed one. Deciding that going outside was a much better idea than smoke in the bathroom she left the apartment. She felt Callie's eyes on her back as she closed the door but didn't dare to turn around. So Arizona stood outside in the rain with a cigarette in her mouth. She was freezing cold and her hair were getting soaked but she could care less about that. "Okay I can be mad at you and you can be mad at me but no there's where in hell I am letting you stand here with that poison in your mouth," Callie said and roughly took the cigarette away and threw it on the ground. "Just leave me alone," Arizona hissed and grabbed another cigarette from the box but Callie was faster. She threw the whole box away. "Get inside now. You're gonna get sick." Callie didn't want to play games right now. She just wanted to curl up on the couch, drink wine and watch a lame movie. "You can sulk and pout all you want inside too." Arizona walked pass Callie groaning slightly. She just wanted a minute to think and if smoking helped her think then why can't they let her be?
"You're being ridiculous. I should be the one mad," Callie said once they reached their aparment. "Well then be mad but I guess it won't change anything will it?" Arizona said trying to stay calm. "Neither will smoking. Just get your ass in the bathtub please." Arizona rolled her eyes and went in the bathroom. Callie sat down on the couch and burried her face in her hands. A time machine would be really helpful. If she could change everything that has happened in the past two years she would. She would never let Arizona go on that plane or anyone else to be honest and if the plane crash would still happen she would at least make sure they would be found sooner. And then she could still save Arizona's leg and Mark might have not die. She didn't even realize she had tears running down her cheeks until she tasted salty water on her lips. She quickly whiped them away but they were soon replaced by new ones. She wished Addison was still here. Normally she would talk to her or Mark. Or even to Arizona if it wasn't about Arizona. Or hell even Teddy would do. But no one was there.
Even though Arizona was struggling a lot with her arm being in a sling and with her prosthetic she somehow managed to get into the bath tub filled with hot water just like she liked it. Dammit why did she have to be so stupid? She will never forget the look on Callie's face when she noticed her ring in Lauren's scrub top. Arizona sighed and tried to fight to memory but it kept coming back. Sex with Lauren wasn't even that good. "Dammit," Arizona yelled not caring who could hear her. She wanted to smash her head against the tub but she still had stitches in her skulp which would cause severe bleeding and probably death. But she wanted to die. Not like that but she hated herself enough to want to die. But then Callie would hate her even more. She winced as she remembered her own words to Callie. "You weren't on the freakin' plane! You want it? The street creed, the badge on honor, the warrior wounds? Then, great, stick out your leg and I will grab a bow saw and let's even the freakin' score!" She didn't mean a word. She loved Callie. She loves Callie. She was there every step of the way. And yet she was still stupid enough to cheat on her because some woman made her feel wanted by flirting with her. Callie heard Arizona scream but decided to ignore it. So that's what they were doing. Ignoring each other. Callie needed to get her mind off of things so she decided to go to the grocery store and then make dinner. She grabbed her car keys and her purse and locked the apartment behind her just in case.
Two hours. Arizona sat there on the couch for two hours. Her mind going through the worst scenarios possible. Callie got into a car crash. Someone kidnapped her. Someone shot her. She decided she had enough and left her. But Callie would never leave Sofia. Sofia was awake and watching Barney and dancing and singing along to it. Arizona tried calling Callie but after a few tries no one answered and then Callie's phone went off. "She just went to clear her head. I understand that," Arizona said to herself trying to stop the freaking out. She heard the sound of the key in the front door and froze slightly. What if it was a burglar? But who would burglar and apartment in the middle of the day? Arizona was by now pretty sure her wife left her. Which she actually understood. The door opened and Callie walked in. Arizona sighed in relief but didn't want to show any emotions that built up over the past 2 hours. She even typed 911 in her phone but then decided not to call. Arizona noticed the grocery bags in Callie's hand and actully felt ashamed to think that Callie would leave her. "You okay? You seem very pale," Callie said slightly concerned. She was still very upset but right now she just wanted some peace.
"Yeah, no, I'm fine," Arizona said and flashed a weak smile. She walked in the bedroom and closed the door behind her. She let tears fall as she slided down the door. Callie seemed okay on the outside but she could read that woman like a book and she knew she was hurting on the inside. Hurting because of her. She heard Callie calling out her name so she climbed in the bed and quickly whiped her tears away. "I'm gonna make dinner but it's gonna take a while. Are you hungry?" Callie asked Arizona through the door. "No," Arizona managed to choke out. She covered herself with blanket dragging it over her head. The door opened which meant Callie walked in. "Hey, what's wrong?" Callie's voice was soft and it only made her cry harder. She didn't deserve this woman. "Nothing," Arizona mumbled but it was still clear enough to understand what she said. "You sure?" Arizona heard footsteps getting closer and cursed under her breath. Callie slowly pulled the blanket from Arizona's head and noticed the tears on Arizona's cheeks. "Can you please tell me what's wrong?" Arizona shook her head and closed her eyes. She couldn't stand watching Callie's beautiful eyes filled with concern and so much love when she did so much to hurt her. "What's wrong?" Callie asked again not giving up till she finds the answer.
"I'm wrong. Everything I do is wrong. I just.. And, and there's no way to fix it and I can't undo it and I can't pretend it didn't happen and I just want to at least cry in peace," Arizona sobbed out. Callie sighed and swollowed her pride and pulled Arizona in a tight hug careful not to hurt her. Arizona's good arm clenched the end of Callie's t-shirt as tight as possible as she cried in Callie's neck. "W-when you were g-gone I.. I thought you left me. And I can't blame you if you would. I did n-nothing to make you not w-wanna leave m-me." Callie slowly rocked Arizona from side to side waiting for her to calm down. She rubbed her hand over Arizona's back. But Arizona's sobs didn't calm down. In fact they got louder and harder. Everything Arizona was feeling was coming out now as tears. Callie burried her face in Arizona's hair and let her own tears fall.