Chapter Twenty Five
You're like brothers. And it kills you that he's not been in touch.
"Steve, this is Maryanne. Maryanne, Steve."
You're a little shocked the first time you meet Pony's girl. She ain't a Soc or nothing, but she's close enough. Lower middle class, flits easily between Soc and Greaser, although that's easier done now than a few years back. You actually think she would have turned Soda's head once upon a time. Not that his head is difficult to turn or nothing.
"How you doin'," you say, and the chick smiles prettily and says hello. She's older than Pony, she graduated last year and she works at the book store in town. Pony says she's saving to put herself through college.
You'd imagined someone kinda bookish looking, but Maryanne has dyed red hair and a well-made up face. Not bad legs from what you can see, but her skirts a little long for a full assessment.
"Hey, where's the birthday boy?" Evie arrives at your side breathless and smiling, carrying a carefully wrapped present as she darts a look about for Two-Bit. You immediately tear your eyes away from Maryanne's legs.
"Hello to you too," you grumble and Evie laughs and gives you a quick kiss.
"Sorry. Hello. I got held up at work." Evie looks over at Maryanne so Pony quickly introduces them while you dart another look around the room.
It's Two-Bit's 21st birthday and Darry gave you and Ponyboy permission to throw him a little party. He'd given you a stern warning as he left for a night shift at his factory job. No drugs, easy on the liquor and no trouble. Sounded like a lame excuse for a party to you but what the hell. Every party is lame without Soda or Dally. It sounds stupid since he usually just sat in a dark corner, but you miss Johnny tonight too. You ain't ever been much of a dancer and keeping Johnny company had always been a good excuse when Soda or Evie tried to drag you onto the dance floor. Nobody's trying to do that so far but that had kinda been yours and Johnny's time to sit and shoot the breeze.
You kinda wish Darry had stayed home tonight too. If Soda was here, the two of you would be happy he ain't around to keep you out of trouble. But with Soda gone, you're feeling less like Darry is Soda's guardian and more like he's your buddy. You don't really get why he's taken a second job at the factory when there is one less mouth to feed and Soda's army pay is more than his DX job paid out. But it ain't really your business what he does with his time.
"Hey, Stevie!" Two-Bit is rip roaring drunk and it feels like he has you in a headlock with his over bearing hug.
"Would you get offa me?" You struggle out of his embrace and give him a good punch in the arm. It defeats the entire gesture when you have to grab at him to keep him upright.
"Hey, Steve, I may be being a killjoy and all but I think I know about-" Two-Bit squints as he tries to calculate a number "-ten people in here?"
You look around thinking that you don't know much more than that and the place is packed out wall to wall.
"Like those guys-" Two-Bit nods at a group of guys coming through the front door. "I don't know one of 'em."
You start forward to approach the group but as a group of girls come in behind them, Two-Bit stops you in your tracks.
"They brought hot women. Never mind, they can stay." He's off in front of you before you can reply, shaking one of the guy's hands and telling him the entrance fee is the telephone number of the broad behind him. Luckily, the guy laughs, and seeing this, you head into the kitchen for another beer.
Curly Shepard is jabbering away to a bored looking Lily who is sitting on the kitchen counter.
"Is he bothering you?"
"Hell, no." Curly looks offended. " I was just talking to her about Angel's baby. I know a lot of stuff now. She even let me babysit last week."
"Jesus, she must be really hard up," you say. Lily grins and Curly moves away, muttering something under his breath.
You open the Curtis fridge and pull out two beers, tossing Lily one and popping yours open.
"Enjoying yourself?"
"Oh yeah." Lily catches the can deftly. "What I want to be doing on my first night off since Bonnie was born is swapping childcare tips with Curly Shepard."
Bonnie is five months old and you have to admit the kid has grown on you. It's hard not to smile when she beams her gummy grin at you and kicks those tiny feet in excitement.
Lily had told y'all Bonnie was her grandmother's name but Evie had let it slip that 'Bonnie and Clyde' was the first movie Soda ever took her to.
"You meet Pony's girlfriend?"
"Yeah. Not what I expected," you say.
"How so?"
"I dunno. I guess she's just a little…hot?"
Lily winces as her eyes meet someone's behind you. Before you get a chance to turn around, you feel Evie's purse hit you in the back.
"A little hot for him," you protest but Evie only grins, she ain't mad really.
A rush of activity from the living room takes the heat off of you and you move towards the kitchen door to see Two-Bit hauling some guy off of Ponyboy. Maryanne is crying and a drunken Two-Bit is now trying to get round Ponyboy to swing at his attacker. You are across the room like lightning.
"What the fuck?" Is your eloquent questioning.
"That's Derek, my ex boyfriend." Maryanne is standing at your side, mascara trickling down her smooth cheeks. "I wouldn't have come if I'd known-"
"He's the one who shouldn't have come," Ponyboy says grimly
You feel kinda sorry for him. He looks mad but he's also trying to keep a furious Two-Bit at bay. The other guys buddies are pulling the ex-boyfriend away and you realise with irony that they were the unknown guys who Two-Bit had greeted earlier.
"Come on, Maryanne. You dump me for this little kid?" The guy is pretty muscular and you wonder if he might overpower the very soused Two-Bit. Either way, you will pound this arrogant shit into oblivion.
You duck around Two-Bit and Ponyboy and come face to face with this 'Derek'.
You can feel your fingers itching as he glares at you. It would be so easy to slam a fist straight into his face. But you remember Darry's warning- No trouble.
' "Y'all need to get out of this house right now." You tell them evenly.
"Oh, another buddy," Derek scoffs. "Your little boyfriend do any of his own fighting, Maryanne?"
"I'm not gonna say it again." You start to clench your fists when Derek's buddies think better of letting him face you and start dragging him towards the door.
"Come on, Curtis, be a man and come outside!"
You throw a glance back at Ponyboy who is using his thumbs to wipe away Maryanne's tears. The action kinda reminds you of Soda and you're not sure why because you can't recall a specific moment where you've seen him do this to a chick.
At Derek's comment, Ponyboy releases Maryanne and starts to weave his way through the crowd. You know that look, that quietly determined expression belongs to Soda, and you know once he's made up his mind there's no talking him round. But this ain't Soda, it's Ponyboy.
"Don't be an idiot." You grab him by the edge of his sweater and yank him towards you.
"Stay out of it, Randle."
He's using your last name to let you know he ain't a kid no more and while you respect that, you ain't about to watch him get beaten to a pulp.
"Kid, Darry left me in charge and I ain't about to let you fight a guy twice your size."
Ponyboy scoffs at this.
"He ain't twice my size."
You stand back a little and look at the kid. Glory, he must have had a growth spurt and his arms and chest ain't half as scrawny as they used to be…
"You been pushing weights or something?" It comes out a little louder than you intended and Ponyboy looks mortified.
"Would you just get out of my way?"
You can hear Derek's taunts from outside and you wish Two-Bit was sober enough to hold onto the kid so you could go out there and deal with this punk yourself.
"Please don't go out there, Ponyboy." Maryanne has followed him over and she's clinging onto his arm and still sobbing. He withdraws his other arm pointedly from you and pulls her closer.
"I gotta," he tells her softly. "Or he ain't never gonna let you alone."
"I'll make him let her alone." You start to walk off but Ponyboy grabs you this time.
"Don't even think about it, Steve. This ain't your fight."
"Ya know," Two-Bit, having obviously cooled down, pops up out of nowhere. "Sometimes, Stevie, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do."
You scowl at him. Two-Bit's drunken fucking wisdom is a pain in your ass. You are all for fighting your own battles but Pony is just a kid and the last thing you need is the cops getting called to the house.
"You think Darry would let you go out there?" You feel like his fucking father at this point and want nothing more than to let the kid go out there and take a beating. Good way to learn a fucking lesson in your opinion. But you know that on top of the fact that Soda hasn't written in three months, Darry don't need this shit.
"No, I don't think he would," Ponyboy counters coolly. You know there's a 'but' coming but you're unprepared for the three words that bring your argument crashing to the ground:
"But Soda would."
"He's got you there," Lily says from behind you. She and Evie are standing side by side and Evie, who swears she hates violence, looks like she agrees.
"Damn straight. Go kick some ass, Kid." Two-Bit claps Pony on the back and all eyes are on you as you realise you were trying to fill Soda's shoes by enforcing Darry's rules. You'd clean forgotten that Soda ain't never been the rule enforcing type
"Your funeral," you finally huff, stepping away to let Ponyboy pass. Just as he pulls the front door wide, you call:
"Pone?"
He turns around, all five feet eleven inches of him, his hand confidently on the door, his face nonchalant.
"This Derek carry a blade?"
"Not that I know of."
"You want mine just in case?"
He grins lopsidedly at you.
"I got my own but thanks."
You know he carries his own and he knows you weren't really offering anything but your support.
He heads outside and you and the entire party follow him out onto the street.
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Hell, you knew the kid wasn't a total pansy ass, but you gotta admit he fucking surprises you.
"Hey, Garrison."
Derek turns around half smug, half amused. He hooks his thumbs in the pockets of his jeans and leans back to get a better look at Ponyboy and leer at Maryanne, who is standing behind him.
"Well, well. You think Maryanne is still gonna be into you when I fuck up that pretty face?"
His ex chick looks shaken but Ponyboy doesn't respond to the threat, just jerks a thumb toward the corner lot.
"Not out here, someone 'll call the cops. Come over to the lot." He doesn't wait for an answer but cool as a cucumber strolls past you and Two-Bit like he's been arranging fights his whole life.
You watch him go in astonishment.
"You know who he reminds me of?" Evie mutters as Derek and the crowd traipse after Ponyboy. You don't answer her because the answer is gonna piss you off but you're thinking it too.
He reminds you of Soda.
At the lot, there's a crowd of about forty kids surrounding Ponyboy and Derek Garrison. You hope to God that Pony don't get his ass kicked too bad in front of all these people. Not 'cause you particularly care of course but because the very idea would kill Soda.
"So how about after I smash your skull in, you go find yourself a little freshman, huh Curtis? Leave the real broads to me."
Ponyboy gives him a disbelieving look.
"Whether I win or lose, you ain't getting rid of me, Garrison. She ain't livestock, she ain't going home with the highest bidder."
You find yourself to be surprisingly envious of what Pony just said. Well, maybe not what he said but the style he executed it in. Maryanne comes out of her bubble of fear long enough to look at him like he's Clarke fucking Gable and the other guys watching don't even look like they think he's a pussy when you're pretty damn sure that was a pussy ass thing to say. Guys on the East Side don't get away with playing the romantic hero in public. Well, most guys on the East Side don't, with the exception of one-maybe two now.
Garrison starts cussing Pony out and it makes you mad enough to wanna throw the first punch. Ponyboy don't let it rile him none 'til he says something God awful about Maryanne. Even you feel bad for the chick; there's some things you just don't say about a girl you've dated but before her cheeks get a chance to grow red, Ponyboy walks rapidly towards Garrison and hits him square across the cheekbone.
And so it's on. The two of them fight different. Garrison is rash and fast and Ponyboy is more strategic. That's not to say he ain't quick; when he moves, he moves fast, but he's aiming better and skipping out of Garrison's reach. It doesn't take long for Garrison to get out of breath and as Ponyboy gains the upper hand and the two of them roll onto the grassy lot surface, you can barely believe it. Maybe it's because Pony's an athlete and he knows how to pace himself, but secretly you think it must be the result of sparring with you guys his whole life.
Dally was forever tripping the kid up and giving him a dead arm. All in jest of course, Dally was like that with everyone, it was his way of including the kid, but it made Pony quicker, you're sure of it. Two-Bit had made it his personal mission to practice every wrestling hold he knew on Pony. The two of them were always rolling around the living room floor grunting and laughing. One time when he was drunk, Two-Bit damn near cut off his air supply and killed him. Soda and Darry wrestled with the kid too although you always thought they were a little too soft on him.
As for you, you've given him a heavy handed punch plenty of times. It may have been disguised as a playful dig in front of Soda, but you and Ponyboy were under no such illusion. He'd played the game though; made a returning joke and slugged you back as hard as he could. You can't help but feel a childish pride in knowing that the first person Ponyboy ever hit to hurt was you. You practically taught him everything he knows.
"Curt-is! Curt-is!" The chant starts real quiet but gets louder as Pony gets astride Garrison and starts swinging. He must get caught up in all the testosterone because he keeps slamming his bloody fist until you decide that it's probably gone far enough.
"Hey, Kid." You try and catch his arm but in the end have to pull him clear. When you finally let him go, his breath is heavy and he's shaking.
"Don't fuck it up now," you hiss at him. You wanna tell him he did good but it's hard to break the habit of a life time.
Garrison tries to crawl up but his lip is spurting blood and he can't seem to get his balance.
Maryanne is at Pony's side before he gets a chance to respond to you. The two of them walk off with their arms round each other and before the crowd get a chance to follow, you yell at them that the party's over.
"That boy's getting more and more like his brother every day," Two-Bit whistles.
And you have to tell yourself that he's talking about Darry. Because the more he gets like Soda, the harder it is to hate him.
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Later, much later, after Evie and Lily have helped clean up, and Ponyboy has walked his girl home, you sit in the darkness of the living room. You suddenly feel suffocated by the feel of the familiar sofa, the sounds that you know by heart outside and the comforting smell of the Curtis home.
This is Soda's house; Soda's sofa, Soda's family. With you here and him not, it's almost like something irreversible has happened. Nobody's mentioning he hasn't written in months but you see it on everyone's face. Lily tries to smile when she sees you, Darry remains stone faced, and Two-Bit becomes stupidly comical whenever you can see he's getting emotional.
What's killing you though is Ponyboy. His walk, his talk, even the way he fights. It's like a constant burning reminder that Soda was here but ain't no more. Maybe he ain't ever coming back.
You slip quietly into the Curtis hallway and open the door to his room. It's too dark to see much but you know the place is like a morbid shrine; just the way he left it. When you stand in here, you remember when he had tonsillitis and you sat by his bed for a whole week. You remember when he pulled you in here to tell you all about the first girl he made it with. You remember when he locked himself inside because Mickey Mouse got sold and his heart was broken.
You feel the tears before you know you're even crying and then you sink down onto the bed and roll onto your side. The body already lying there scares you fucking shitless. For one joyous moment you think maybe it's him; maybe he's snuck home. Then you think you must be dreaming. But then you realise it's Soda Junior.
"What are you doing in here?" The kid sounds upset and you're about to label him as a pussy before you remember you've been crying too.
"Just uh- the sofa ain't too comfy." You force a brash tone before he says:
"I miss him, Steve."
You stretch out on the bed beside him, partly wishing he would disappear and at the same time, feeling a strange attachment to him.
"You're doing okay, kid," you tell him. "He woulda been proud of you tonight."
The two of you stay side by side, neither one of you talking. Until finally, he breaks.
"Should be me over there, Steve. Nobody would care if it was me but plenty of people are missing Soda."
You are brought back to the day Soda got his draft letter and you said exactly the same thing.
"Don't be stupid. Darry would miss you, Two-Bit would miss you. And so would your chick."
"Darry would much rather it was me,"Ponyboy answers dully. "You know he likes Soda best, always has. 'Sides, why you think he's taken that night job? We don't need the money that bad, he just cant stand to look at me."
You are quiet for a long time. The kid aint never spoken to you like this before and while the thought should turn your stomach, you actually feel bad for him.
"Darry just needs to be busy is all. Soda's gone and you got yourself track, homework and a girlfriend. What's Darry got, huh?"
Even though no words are spoken, you can feel the change in him, you can sense that he relaxes some. On that issue anyway.
"Why you think he ain't wrote, Steve?"
You have asked yourself this a million times; have come up with a thousand scenarios, but all of them are a harmless reason; bad postal service, no time to write, no paper to write on. 'Cause you won't tell yourself that something's happened to him.
"He'll write soon."
"But how do you know, Steve? How do you know he's okay?" Despite the tough guy façade he'd shown earlier, right now Ponyboy sounds like a frightened kid.
You don't have any solid evidence. Only your own unwavering faith.
"Because he promised me he would be."
"And that's enough for you?" Pony demands.
The silence weighs between you. He's almost angry and you know he's waiting for you to get angry back.
"When he left, Kid, he didn't have no answers. No crystal ball, no way of knowing nothing. All he had to give was his word." You don't say it, but that's the one thing you've always accepted without question.
Ponyboy sits up and quietly slides to his feet.
"Boy, he'll laugh his ass off when he comes back." "Why?"
"'Cause I think I finally get why you're his best friend."
"'Cause I'm as cool as fuck?" You can't resist the joke but Pony doesn't laugh.
"Nah, 'cause you believe in him. More than me and Darry even." He crosses the room towards the door and opens it as quietly as he can. "You dig okay, Steve Randle."
The door is shut when you whisper your reply into the empty room.
"Ditto, Kid. Ditto."
You must be out of your mind with worry or something. Maybe you are having some kind of mental issue because you start to thinking that if Ponyboy did get drafted, you'd be on that list of people that missed him.
Soda needs to come home real soon.
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