[i][b]Whatcha Say
Part XXXII[/b][/i]

EJ knew he needed to get up from the bed now that Samantha was sleeping peacefully, but he guessed his nerves had gotten the best of him today and he was hesitant to move away from beside her. From his immediate fear that something bad had happened to Samantha and the baby to finding her on the floor of their bathroom it had shaken him up more than he wanted to admit.

He liked being in control at all times and this feeling of helplessness wasn't a welcome emotion. Even though Samantha was resting she still looked paler than she usually did, the healthy glow she had in recent weeks wasn't present in her face this evening. When he had picked her up from the floor, she wasn't heavy in his arms either even though she had commented in passing a few times that she was gaining weight.

He had noticed while he changed her out of her clothes into something clean and comfortable the very slight baby bump she now had and he'd have to be blind not to notice how her breasts had increased in size. Tried as he might he didn't want to think sexual thoughts of Samantha especially since she had made it painfully clear months ago she wasn't interested in any kind of physical intimacy between them, but it was difficult not to because he was so attracted to her, had always been attracted to her from the first time he had seen her.

He ached to touch her daily and this afternoon her allowing him to brush her hair and take care of her while she was sick unfortunately only made it worse. He realized forlornly that he was falling in love with her more each day and the feeling he had felt when he saw her lying helplessly on the floor had wrenched something deep within his heart. He inwardly scoffed as he remembered his declaration to her of not believing in love anymore and wondered if he would ever have the courage to tell her how he truly felt about her.

He wanted to always take care of her, to love her, to shelter her from harm and god forbid if something were to happen to her, he would be utterly lost without her. But could he reveal these things to her and risk having his heart broken by her once again since he knew she wouldn't ever feel the same way about him? He didn't need to burden her anymore than she was already burdened, hadn't seeing her lying on the floor so sick she could barely move evidence enough that he poisoned everything he came into contact with at some point or the other?

He shook his head, he needed to put her needs first, and he'd lived with this unrequited love for her for years. He guessed this was going to be his lot in life, his penance for all the bad things he had done to her and other people because quite frankly the list of his wrongdoings was pretty long. So he wouldn't make her feel guilty or put her in a position where she felt she owed him by his declarations of love for her.

Then a thought came to him, even if he couldn't say the words aloud, he could show her and that is precisely what he would do. It wouldn't be the same as hearing the sentiment returned from her, but maybe she'd see his true heart in other ways. He pressed a kiss on her cheek and carefully moved off the bed.

EJ left the room with a renewed sense of purpose; he could do this for her and his family. At least he could tell his children how much he loved them even if he couldn't tell their mother. He'd just have to be more creative when it came to Samantha. Plus he had always relished a challenge and this would definitely be challenging.

He walked into the kitchen to begin cleaning up the dishes and the mess that had been leftover from the morning and realized with a wry smile that even a few months ago he wouldn't have ever he thought about doing such a task. He'd always had servants to take care of things like this every since Stefano had come into his life, but it was kind of therapeutic to clean, to be doing something to take his mind off the worry about Samantha and their unborn baby's well being.

After the kitchen was spotless once more, he went back to check on Samantha, she was still sleeping which was exactly what she needed. He couldn't even imagine how terribly she must have felt today and it made him determined to do whatever it took to make her feel better. For all her claims that it had taken the two of them for her to be pregnant it still bothered him that she was so sick while he could go about his day without experiencing the aftereffects of their trysts raging throughout his body.

She deserved so much better than him. Sighing he turned from the doorway and took out his cell phone, going to his contact list and choosing Hope's name. The call went through and luckily he got her without his call immediately going to her voicemail.

"Hope, this is EJ."

Hope's voice was low and EJ guessed it was so if any of the children were trying to eavesdrop on their conversation they would be hard pressed to hear exactly what they were talking about, "I'm glad you called. Is Sami all right? Did you find her? I've been worried about her."

"Yes, I found her, she was at home too sick to even get out of the bathroom, much less answer her telephone."

"Thank god, I thought Stefano might have done something to her…"Hope's voice trailed off as she realized whom she was speaking with was none other than Stefano's son. "EJ, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed that, much less said it out loud."

EJ leaned up against the wall, "No offense taken especially since the thought had crossed my mind as well."

"Can I do anything? The kids can stay the night here if you would like, especially since tomorrow is Saturday?"

"Hope, I hate put all that on you especially when I called you at last minute notice to see if you could pick them up from school."

"Ciara loves the company, plus it's nice to have a house full of kids for a change," Hope stated with a wistful note in her voice as EJ could hear the sounds of the children playing in the background.

"Bo won't mind?" EJ asked hating to imposition Hope since she had been so good to Samantha and their children.

"Bo's not as bad as you think," Hope began with a chuckle then added, "kind of like how you aren't as bad as you pretend to be around people."

"Don't let him hear you or he'd charge you with blasphemy since you know all DiMera's are evil with the exception of my dear sweet sister Alexander of course."

"She had her days too, but that is in the past. Maybe that's in your past too?"

EJ laughed, "Hope is it possible another Brady beyond Samantha could dare entertain the thought that all DiMera's aren't evil incarnate?"

"I'm still debating on the issue, so I'll get back to you with an answer at another time," came her cryptic reply. "As to the issue at hand, we would love for the kids to stay over tonight. You take care of Sami and I'll bring them by tomorrow afternoon if that is okay with you."

"Are you sure?"

"EJ, I wouldn't have offered if I didn't mean it. You need to focus on Sami at the moment."

"Thank you Hope, I really do appreciate your kindness."

"Whether anyone else in the family will admit it or not, you're good for Sami. I guess I just see things differently than most of them. So goodnight and I'll see you tomorrow."

"Please tell the children I love them and their mom does too."

"I will. Goodbye EJ."

After they had disconnected their call it made EJ wonder exactly what Samantha had been discussing with Hope lately because it was more than a little surreal to have a member of Samantha's family actually being nice to him. He wasn't sure what to make of the change in Hope's attitude for him. He was grateful for whatever it was though because Hope was right, he needed to take care of Samantha. She had been going nonstop lately and apparently it was all catching up to her.

He went to check on her again and it looked like she was attempting to get out of bed. He immediately was at her side before she could sit up.

"Sweetheart, are you okay? Do you need help?"

Sami blinked her eyes, trying to concentrate on EJ's words, but hearing him call her sweetheart made her pause. He rarely used that endearment with her anymore but she thought he may have called her that earlier too when he had found her on the floor of their bathroom and it was wonderful to hear it from him once more.

"I just wanted to go brush my teeth, but I'm still a bit woozy."

"I'll help you if you let me."

Sami quirked an eyebrow at him, "You're going to brush my teeth? I think I can handle using the toothbrush if I can shuffle my way to the bathroom."

"I can walk with you to the bathroom. I don't want you to fall," EJ gingerly put his arm around Sami to steady her.

"Thank you," Sami replied trying not to think how nice it was to have EJ right there beside her. He smelled so good and that caused her to pause thinking how awful she must smell after her nonstop day of throwing up. She must look horrible as well. Her worst suspicions were confirmed when she caught sight of her visage in the mirror.

EJ noticed Sami stopped walking with him and he looked at her frowning. "Am I invading your personal space? Do you need for me to back off? I'm sorry I didn't mean to presume…"

The tears started then, Sami instantly wishing her hormones weren't on such a trigger switch. "Why would you put up with me? I'm a hot mess, I'm fat, my hair looks like a rat's nest, and I'm amazed you haven't already fainted from my halitosis…"

EJ was taken aback, how could Samantha believe those things about herself? While it was true she wasn't looking like she was in the running for America's Next Top Model at the moment she was all he had ever wanted, no one else compared to her in his eyes.

"Now I'm snotty too," Sami began to wail in earnest.

"Oh honey, you are the most beautiful woman in the world to me, snotty or not."

Sami shook her head in negation, EJ was just trying to be nice, and he didn't mean those words.

"You don't believe me?"

"No, I'm a train wreck," Sami cried even more.

EJ picked her up being careful not to walk to swiftly to get her nauseous again and headed back to the bedroom, choosing to sit down in one of the chairs they had chosen for the room, placing Samantha in his lap.

"Samantha, please look at me," EJ ordered in a kind voice.

It took a few moments, but she finally brought her watery eyes to his, but she couldn't stop the tears from falling.

"I want you to listen to me. I don't see all these imperfections you see in yourself…"

"Are you blind?" Sami blurted out.

"When I look at you I only see the most incredible, amazing woman who is having my child, who is the mother of my beautiful children and I'm fortunate enough to be able to see her grow in beauty each day." He placed his hand lightly on her stomach causing her PJ top to ride up enough for him to touch her bare skin. "I wake up each day to see your face and it hits me how lucky I am to be living this life with you and our children. You're having my baby and I'm the one wondering why you would put up with me, not the other way around."

She didn't say anything in response to him. Maybe she didn't want to put up with him and that made him feel sad, thinking once more he had said too much, revealed a layer of himself that he shouldn't have to her, then her eyes grew wide and she began to smile, "Oh my god EJ, can you feel it?"

"Feel what?" EJ asked his head almost snapping over how quickly her mood changed, from weepy to almost giddy.

"I can feel it, the baby is moving," Sami exclaimed, pushing her top up more and moving his hand to the spot where she felt the movement from within. "Can you feel it?"

EJ shook his head, trying to concentrate, but it was difficult because he'd never felt anything like that before.

"It's like butterfly wings fluttering inside of me," Sami told him, grasping his hand and moving it over a few centimeters. "It's early so it may be a while before you can feel it on the outside, but believe me our baby knows you're here."

"I wish I could feel it," EJ said.

"I promise when you can feel it for sure, you'll be the first one to touch my stomach and feel it with me," Sami stated whole heartedly. "Just trust me, its happening. Our baby is reacting to your voice. This is so incredible."

EJ nodded his head, at a loss for words and before he could stop himself he raised his other hand to go behind her head to pull her into a kiss, the first one they had shared since the day they had bought the house together.

And it felt like coming home...