Chapter 25 – For the Future
The night had fallen over Athos some time ago, blanketing Tjaru in darkness, that even the small pinpricks of artificial lights glowing out of the city's homes was lost within. The cold of winter gave the nights a heavier feel on Athos, which seemed to suggest the feeling to return to home and sleep sooner than in the bright evenings of summer. Yet, though the darkness hung thickly over the Governing Buildings, Father's personal courtyard was cast in a gentle light. Two small lights glowed softly by the pond, powered by the day's stored sunlight to cast just enough light to highlight the water's surface. Teyla, stood on the other side of the glass doors overlooking the courtyard, watched as a few blossom petals fell through the darkness from the weighted tree branches above the pond, to disappear into the darkness of the water. It was a beautiful courtyard, one designed just for Father, a space created for him alone in which to contemplate in peace away from his hectic and important life.
Stood waiting for him to finish his meeting, Charin long ago retired to her bed, Teyla looked out upon his peaceful courtyard. Many times over the years, she had found him in this courtyard, always appearing deep in thought. Everyone left him alone when he was in his courtyard, with the occasional exception of family. And of course Hakon, who still also was very respectful of Father's time of solitude in his personal space, only intruding upon that time when it was vital to interrupt.
Teyla often wondered what Father thought about when sat out in this courtyard alone. She imagined much of his time out there was dedicated to contemplating a difficult negotiation or planning a trading alliance of some sort. Father looked very much towards the future, planning moves far ahead of anyone else, his mind so quick and clever.
Yet, she also suspected, from seeing his face occasionally when he wasn't aware of anyone watching, that sometimes, perhaps more frequently than she would like to know, his thoughts were turned more towards the past. Towards thoughts of Mother.
Teyla had so often seen the strain of grief in Father's face, even now, so many years later. And despite seeing him uncomfortable in those moments, she had actually rather treasured the signs of his clear ongoing love for Mother, even after so much time. He had, and still did, love Mother with all his heart. She had always thought that a lovely, magical thing, one that tied him still with Mother despite all sense.
Yet now, looking out at the courtyard, Teyla felt somewhat different about those moments, for it meant that he had spent so many years in grief, so many years of continuing pain without any hope of ever finding a resolution. Nothing would ever bring Mother back. She had been lost so long ago, that for Teyla she was almost unreal. Mother was a mix of vague images and emotions more than any real solid memories she could draw on. Yet, for Father, it was almost as if he were still partly in the past, waiting for his wife to return to him. Sat by his pond, surrounded by beautiful blossoms and shrubs, fish moving through the water and chimes ringing softly in the air, Teyla could almost imagine such a place could house a watching loving spirit. Perhaps waiting for Father to one day join her. Perhaps that was what Father waited for, for the day when he would finally be with Mother again.
It was a disturbing thought for Teyla, and one that tugged painfully at her heart. It was probably just her own less than peaceful thoughts and feelings behind such thoughts. Father loved life and his work – she saw no pain or dissatisfaction with his life.
Though she sometimes wondered if the pressure of his responsibility weighed upon him. Or did he enjoy it as much as he seemed to most days? From her own ongoing experience of the political world, she suspected the answer was a mix of both. One had to perhaps be inspired to first work in the area of politics, but the complexity and unrelenting demands of that life surely had to weigh even Father down some days. Perhaps thoughts of Mother helped him in such times.
Across the office behind Teyla, Ketra let out a soft cry from her sleep. Teyla looked round over her shoulder to where Ketra lay stretched out across Father's thick rug. So large now, Ketra's outstretched legs reached from one side of the rug to the other. One leg was currently lifted and was pawing gently at the air, as if she were digging in her sleep. Another soft cry became a louder bubble and another leg lifted slightly from the rug, joining the other in a pawing action. Smiling at her pet's dreaming running, Teyla turned back round to the courtyard, and waited for her eyes to adjust back to the darkness outside.
It was late, but the meetings in the governing complex often ran late if a conclusion was hoped for in short order. Father's view was that it was better to run on overnight and allow free time tomorrow. She worried that sometimes he had too many late nights though.
Perhaps she should retire to her quarters for the night, speak to Father early tomorrow...
She knew she wouldn't though, despite the thought. She would prefer to speak with him tonight. Besides, she had had so many late and disturbed nights this week, it would make no difference to her.
Without her permission, her thoughts turned to John, as they still so often did. She wondered if they would ever rest from that. Would she still in years to come find herself sat out in a courtyard alone thinking regretful wistful thoughts of John Sheppard from Earth and Atlantis?
It seemed that as the years passed, that she was left with more and more to quietly contemplate by herself. So many memories, people lost, battles replayed, decisions reconsidered, and thoughts of the future. Yet, these new repetitive thoughts of John were a new addition to the mix. They were achingly painful and oddly addictive. Much like him.
She had known when she had started her affair with him that she would have to leave him. To move forward with her life without her joyful playful lover from another galaxy. For they had both agreed on it, that they were from very different worlds and had different responsibilities. She just wondered now if perhaps it would have been wiser to have never started the affair in the first place. To know how wonderful his company was, to feel his touch, to kiss his lips and share such intimacies, perhaps it would have been easier had she not shared that first kiss with him. A kiss shared up in her quarters here in Tjaru.
She wondered if that was partly the reason why she remained here in Father's office, waiting to talk to him after a meeting he would no doubt be tired from attending.
She looked away from the courtyard back to Ketra again, who now had rolled partly onto her back, her two front legs suspended up in the air, her soft snores filling the office. Teyla did not want to waken her, but-
Movement down the corridor outside Father's office drew her attention. She looked towards the partially open office door and listened intently. She picked Father's voice easily out from the other two. She could not make out the words, but his tone was relaxed and tired.
Then soft footsteps began moving down the corridor towards the office.
Despite having waited here for hours to have this conversation, suddenly the reality of it stuck her fearfully. Surprised by the reaction, she looked away back out into the courtyard and drew on her training. A deep breath held and released slowly, then another. She focused on a soft image in her mind, drawing calm control as she listened to Father's footsteps nearing the door. She could tell from the pace of his approach that he knew she was here, for he always walked quicker towards family.
She wanted this discussion, this would be her decision, yet as the moment approached she felt almost regretful. It would not change her decision, but that aching feeling in her heart returned, so strong that she was surprised it was not a bright light glowing out of her chest reflected in the glass wall before her.
To her right, the office door was gently pushed open and she looked round to see Father filling the doorway, a bright smile across his face.
She could do this. It was the right decision.
"Teyla," Father smiled wider, "It is good to see you, and that you waited up." She turned towards him as he approached her, his hands lifting to her shoulders as she did the same in return.
"If you are too tired to speak..." she offered as they touched foreheads gently.
"I always have time for you," he replied as he squeezed her shoulders and lent his forehead against hers with a little more pressure before he pulled back. "You look tired."
A little surprised at the comment, she smiled at him. "I believe those should be my words to you."
He grinned back, his eyes indeed looking tired, but bright. "Then we are both tired. Let us sit," he suggested, turning towards the two chairs and the table on which a selection of small foods had been left for her an hour or so ago. "I am hungry as well as tired. Hakon is ordering us some fresh tea."
Ketra rolled onto her side on the rug, now awake but bleary eyed as she looked up adoringly at Father.
"Hello beautiful, Ketra," Father said softly to her as he ran both his hands over the dragon's head and off her ears. Ketra purred softly as he repeated the caress.
"She has almost outgrown this rug," Teyla commented as she sat back down in the chair she had sat in whilst talking with Charin.
"Yes, but it seems to me that her legs are longer rather than her body thicker now. You are more muscle than baby fat now, aren't you beautiful Ketra," Father cooed to Ketra as he scratched the dragon's side. Ketra purred louder.
Teyla chuckled as she rolled her eyes. "I suspect that when she stays here that you spoil her."
Father smiled as he stood up from Ketra. "I do not know what you mean."
Ketra watched him move away to the other chair with an almost human look of disappointment. Teyla reached out and rubbed her hand on Ketra's flank that was close to her chair, and a soft purr was her reward.
The office door opened again behind Father and Hakon entered, carrying a tray of tea balanced on top of his computer tablet.
"Hakon, I told you to go to bed," Father uttered from where he had just been about to sit down. "The night service could have brought this," he added as he met Hakon halfway across the office and took the tray from him.
"Everyone is in bed and the night kitchen staff are all supplying tea to the visiting delegation following the meeting, so I thought it best to bring you tea myself," Hakon replied as he wiped down one edge of his tablet. "Honoured Elite," he added with a slight bow to her.
"Good eve, Hakon," she replied with a smile. "Thank you for bringing our tea."
"We could have made tea ourselves," Father muttered as he put the tray down by the food selection. He always became a little irritable when he was tired.
"Yes, Torren," Hakon replied with a slight roll of his eyes, at which Teyla smiled.
Father, having seen her smile, looked suspiciously round at Hakon as he sat down, but his assistant simply smiled politely down at him.
"Is there anything else you need?" Hakon asked with a slightly teasing tone.
Father looked up at him with narrowed eyes. "Would you like to sit with me and Teyla?" He asked. "You remember Teyla, my daughter, who you kissed when you were-"
It was an old running teasing joke of Father's that always served to embarrass Hakon in front of her.
"Good night then," Hakon interrupted quickly, his cheeks faintly pink. "Honoured Elite. Torren."
"Good night, Hakon," Teyla replied.
"Get some sleep, Hakon," Father ordered as Hakon headed to the door. "That is an order. No staying up writing up the meeting report."
"Yes, Torren," Hakon replied with a tone that was perfectly balanced between agreement and sarcastic annoyance.
Father smiled as he got his hands on the tea pot before she could pick it up. As the office door closed across the room, he picked the pot and began to fill the first cup. "One day I will hear him call you by your given name."
"Why is that so important to you?" Teyla asked as she set the next cup under the tea pot's spout for him to fill.
"Because it embarrasses him," Father replied with a grin.
She narrowed her eyes at him as she picked up her cup of tea and sat back. She wondered if it was coincidence that it was clearly her favourite evening tea. "I think it is because you see him as family rather than simply as your assistant."
Father focused his attention on examining the selection of food on the table. "Of course he is family; he all but grew up with you and Zabetha here."
"He has spent more of his life with you than I have," Teyla considered as she watched Father take a large bite of a finger length slice of sweet sticky cake.
However, despite the pleasure the cake must have given him, his expression turned serious at her comment, though his attention remained on the food as he selected another piece of cake. "I suppose that he has, but the same could be said of many who work here in the complex."
She nodded as he sat back in his chair, aware that she had injected the conversation with some of her previous prowling overly thoughtful energy. His eyes, as he sat comfortably in his chair, settled on her with a renewed focus that told her he had not missed the significance of her mood. As with Charin, Teyla suspected he had already seen that something was on her mind, but unlike Charin, he would not push her to speak of what it was.
"I do not think of Mino as family, that is for sure," he added as a gentle joke before he took a bite of his new piece of cake.
She smiled, as the joke required, and nodded. "I meant nothing by it than simply to note the close relationship between you and Hakon."
Father frowned slightly, just a fraction, but she saw it as he dropped his gaze to his tea and took a sip. His eyes lifted back up to her with a more controlled expression, but that assessing nature to them remained.
"Did the meeting end favourably?" Teyla found herself asking.
"It did," he replied as he ate the last of the small slice of cake. "It took quite some work, but it has been achieved."
"Good," she replied, trying to remember exactly what the meeting had been about.
"Zabetha's meeting continues, but I suspect that will end soon as well," he added. "I heard of the success of the treaty with Atlantis."
She nodded. "Yes, you must be pleased."
Father nodded, that frown creeping back across his brow as he studied her. "It also took quite some time to achieve, and I understand that it was the Military Council that finally pushed it through, with several stipulations with Rosenthal."
"As was expected," she replied, the subject feeling a little sensitive. "I was not in Atlantis for the last day of negotiations." Why was it that she felt it important that Father knew she had not been in Atlantis the entire time, with John?
"I was sorry to hear of the loss of Honoured Elite Kari," he said with a sorrowful expression. "She was a most admirable warrior."
Teyla nodded her agreement; the heavy feelings over Kari' end threatening to rise up through her again. Beating it all down, she took a breath and set her cup on the table. "I need to speak with you about something very important."
"I had guessed as much, Daughter," Father smiled. The circles under his eyes looked particularly dark this evening.
"I will shortly be presenting some new initiatives to the other Elite and then the Military Council," she began, feeling the need to be clear that she was focused on work. "The Wraith have demonstrated some new worrying behaviours that mean that the Elite will need to have an increased role within the Alliance."
Father frowned openly this time, his expression and demeanour darkening. He understood the significance of what she as saying. "Should I be concerned for Athos?" He asked.
"Of all the worlds, ours of increased numbers of Seekers should be the least concerned," she assured him.
His expression shifted again. "You fear there are Wraith inside Alliance territory?"
"It is possible," she shared with him. "This is not public knowledge and must remain quiet." He nodded immediately. "The Hive responsible has been destroyed, and presumably all of its numbers have been killed, but it is possible that the new practices may have spread."
"There have been tales of Wraith disguising themselves as humans before," Father replied, his interest in the food and his tea forgotten.
"They were far less...convincing as the latest example," she informed him. "But, as I said, it is likely that the practice has been stopped with the destruction of the Hive involved."
Father nodded and lifted his tea slowly to his lips, his mind clearly working away. "Are you planning then to base Elite on each Alliance planet?"
"Not necessarily at all times, but there are those among our number who are injured, in training, or recuperating, who could visit planets, keep connections strong with Enforcement and military bases."
Father nodded. "That seems a good suggestion. I do not see that there will be much objection from world leaders; if anything I suspect they will welcome the move. The High Council however..."
She nodded. "They will see it, and our planned station on Aria, as a threat."
Father's eyebrows lifted at the news of Aria. "True, especially considering the way the treaty with Atlantis had to be pushed through."
"At least Rosenthal has been appeased," she considered.
"For now, but promise of possible military contracts and the Political Marriage with a Satedan in a powerful trading position will make it obvious what happened to pass the treat through," he added.
"You believe there are other opposing voices who will not be pleased with Rosenthal?" She asked.
Father sighed and sat forward to pick up another piece of cake. "There are always opposing voices when someone gains and others do not."
Teyla nodded, feeling suddenly tired in an entirely new way. "For some time you have spoken of your fears of the cracks forming within the Alliance," she said and he nodded. "But it was only while watching the treaty negotiations that I realised how bad the situation is. So many in powerful positions were bickering and forming opinions on military matters of which they have no understanding."
Father nodded solemnly as he picked up the tea pot and swirled the contents gently. "At least the Military Council is in place now to control the fleet and the outward push of the borders."
"Yes, but it will not be enough."
He looked up at her from the tea pot with a look of surprise, poised in pouring more tea into his cup.
"Do you remember when I was young, when I wanted to leave to train with the Elite and you did not wish me to go?" She asked.
"Of course," he replied as he lowered his eyes and poured the tea into his cup.
"You told me at that time that I had to make a choice between a life of service as a warrior or a life in service to our people."
"I remember," he replied as he set the pot back down onto the table. "I did not realise that you did."
"Your opinion and advice has always been important to me," she told him honestly.
With a soft smile he sat back in his chair, his cup of tea held in both hands. She sensed that he was aware that she was building up to something, and was clearly patiently waiting to see what it would be.
"I chose to be a warrior," she said unnecessarily.
"And a powerful one you have become," he added with a proud looking smile.
"But, I think that perhaps it is not as simple as you described – being either warrior or Athosian."
"No, not in your case perhaps," he replied with a soft expression. "Charin always said that you were meant for great things, that a life on Athos would not be enough for you. You have proven her right, as she always is," he added with a pointed smile.
She smiled too, but to hear him speak of Charin's wisdom as always correct, made her for a moment reconsider what she was about to do.
She would not be ruled by soft feelings and hopefulness though, not when she had duties and responsibilities to focus on. It was time to stop slipping between worlds and instead stand boldly in both.
"For most of my life," she said carefully, "I have trained to be an Elite, to fight the Wraith, to protect not only our people, but as many others as I can. But, that will make no difference if the Alliance, if all our peoples, start breaking the bonds apart from within. It is time that we focus on those bonds, and that includes the Elite, for we are a part of the Alliance, not just a guard on the doorstep. We have more to offer than killing. And some of us may choose to cement bonds further within the Alliance."
Father's expression froze. With his quick mind, she suspected he had already predicted her conclusion, but she forged onwards, making her reasoning clear.
"The Alliance must be saved, must be protected, as Elite have always done. But, I am not just an Elite, none of us are. We are people from different worlds, but with a unity of purpose, which can be a reflection of the greater good of the Alliance. I believe the Elite have a responsibility to not only show that, but to uphold it. We reflect the highest ideals of the Alliance, we are respected and if we show the Alliance what needs to be done, then perhaps that will make people see what needs to be repaired."
Father nodded slightly, but his expression remained still, his tea steaming up across his controlled features.
"We will interact with the people across the Alliance worlds more, work with Enforcement and the Investigation Division, have a greater presence on Aria, and grown stronger links with planetary security. And some of us, of which I suspect I know three others so far, have something else to offer as well."
Father continued to say nothing, but she knew now that he knew what her conclusion would be.
"I am not just an Elite, I am an Athosian, and perhaps for the first time, I can truly serve our people as well as the Alliance as a whole. For I am your eldest daughter, an Elite warrior, and a member of the Military Council, and that can have value to not only you and our people, but to the Alliance."
"You serve our people each day, Teyla," he interrupted softly. "All the Elite do, you protect us all, in these new possible roles as well as out there battling the Wraith face-to-face."
"Yes, but I can do more," she replied. "I have a duty to our people."
"You already fulfil your duty admirably," he argued gently.
"But this will be more. It will be a link between our people and another within in the Alliance, through an Elite warrior."
"It is not necessary."
"It is," she insisted. "I choose to serve our people in any way I can, and it will mean no major change to my life."
"It will change your life, Teyla. It is a contract that will change politics and how you live your life."
"The contract can be adapted to take into consideration that I am Elite, you know that," she objected. "Do not pretend that you cannot see the massive political pull this will have for you and our people. We will be the first to unite the Elite with such a contract within the Alliance."
He looked away, his fingers scratching one side of his chin thoughtfully.
"Imagine the offers," she tempted him.
He smiled and shook his head. "What a leader of our people you would have been." He sighed and set his tea down on the table and regarded her thoughtfully.
"And Atlantis?" He asked.
Thrown slightly by his question, and perhaps the subtext which he wasn't voicing, she schooled her features as she glanced down to Ketra and then back to him. "The treaty has been signed, we have been successful in that regard. I need to focus back on my work with the Elite. The outer Lantana battle still rages and there are larger plans soon to be initiated that will need my attention."
And that would be all she would say.
Father looked away, not giving away any indication that he had meant more to his question than simply asking for her status in helping him negotiate with Atlantis. The trading agreement between Atlantis and Athos had been agreed some time ago, so there was no official reason for her presence anymore. The non-aggression treaty between Atlantis and the Alliance had been something she had worked on with Father, John and Mr Woolsey. It was completed now though, and therefore there was no reason for her to visit Athos so frequently.
No need to have an excuse to be here during John's visits anymore, for all that had to change.
"There will have to be a deadline in keeping with my duties with the Elite," she continued. "So, I think it best that we work quickly on putting out the announcement and I would appreciate your assistance in the contract's wording."
"Of course," Father replied. "If you are sure of this."
"Yes, I am sure," she stated, and took a breath to speak the actual words. "I wish to put myself forward within the Alliance worlds for an offer of Political Marriage."
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On to the final chapter...