Psychopathic FanGirl- Fangles? Too funny!

Now

Fang and I stayed cuddled close most of the night. We talked about school, friends, us, but avoided the touchy subject of my heart. We ended up having sex again, not sure when we'd be able to sneak away again.

The sun was just beginning to wake up at five AM and Fang and I decided to head back before we got caught. He helped me walk to my window -apparently sex threw off my balance- and we kissed goodbye. He held me in his arms and we touched our lips together. He whispered, "I love you."

I smiled against his cheek, "I love you."

We kissed one more time and then I fumbled up my window and into my room. A pulse of worry went through me. I didn't usually have this much trouble crawling through the window. Last night I stumbled down and out of the window, but it was dark. And today... my legs were just stiff. That was all. I'd try it again and prove I could climb out just like I used to.

I walked into the bathroom and smiled. Fang and I. We had finally taken that major step. My stomach fluttered happily with excitement. I turned on the shower, as I replayed everything that happened last night in my head. I had felt so close to him. We knew each other so well; he had been through everything it seemed. I loved him and trusted him so much. I never wanted to see it end.

I stepped into the shower, grinning like a fool, humming along to the happy music in my head. He'd see the real me. He could see through the sickness and he still loved me. Did that mean...? When things got bad... would I not have to break up with him? Would he still love me? Could he still look at me and see the same person?

I realized, no he wouldn't. He might see bits and pieces of the old me, but when he actually looked at me, he'd see a dying girl. He didn't see it now -heck, I didn't see it now- but when things got worse, when I started hacking up blood and wobble like tree in a hurricane, things would change. We'd all have to lose the rose colored glasses and see the world for what it is. And if I held onto Fang, I'd be weighing him down, holding him back. I'd be selfish.

But for now, we'd make the best of our relationship. Enjoy life.

Why do I keep thinking about it anyway? It won't happen for awhile.

Later that day, I was playing with the little kids. This was the last day at daycare for Trey and Asher, for them, the first day of kindergarten started tomorrow. They were playing with Play Doh at the table, and we were talking about school, all the people they'd meet; the things they'd learn. I was trying to pay attention to the conversation and not let my mind stray to last night.

Mom walked into the kitchen. Things had cooled off between us. We weren't mad anymore –though neither of us had said sorry. The argument had set us more farther apart than ever.

She had a thin white piece of paper, "This is a check for helping out in the daycare over the summer."

I read it over and my jaw hit the floor. I wasn't excepting to get paid, let alone paid over $2,000.

"Mom... are you sure?"

She gave me a small smile, walking to the sink, "Of course, I wouldn't keep you away from your friends during the summer if I wasn't going to pay you."

I almost said, what about last summer? But I caught myself. Miss Ungrateful. "Well, thank you," I breathed, "Thank you so much!"
"You're welcome. I got the kids, if you want to go cash it into the bank."

I bolted up. Freedom! "Thanks, Mom," I said rushing for the front door. "Bye, guys!"

The weekend passed with my mind still turning towards Friday night every few minutes.

It was Thursday, and I was in math class, when I felt the pain in my chest. Grasping to inhale a lungful of air. Oh fuck. I did not want this to happen in public. I needed to get to the nurses to lie down. I grabbed my bag and stumbled my way to the teacher's desk, about falling over. My face went red. He quickly stood up and grabbed my air, "Are you alright, Max?"

"C-can I g-go to the nurse's? M-my heart." I mumbled, my hand on my heart, trying to stop the dizziness. Great, the stutters.

"Yes, yes! Do you need someone to take you?"

I didn't know anyone that well in this class. I shook my head, pivoting towards the door. Bad idea. I fell to the wall before limping out of the room.

I made into the nurse, close to tears. My mom came and got me fifteen minutes later. Helped me lie down on the couch. Sat in a Lazy-Boy chair by me.

Monday, we went to the doctor's. My dad thankfully took me this time and Angel decided to come along. I wasn't getting an ultra sound today, just an EKG. Dr. Havensen came in; I told him how I had gotten a few Tachycardia problems. He said I was going to wear an "event monitor" instead of a halter monitor. It looked similar to a halter monitor except it was white instead of black and it was thin compared to the bulkiness of a monitor. On the event monitor two electrodes hooked to me instead of five.

The basic gist of it was when m heart started freaking out -or having an 'event'- I was supposed to click a button that recorded the full event of heart movements. Once two events were recorded, we were supposed to send it back in.

On the drive home, I realized how sick I was of going to the doctor's. How tired I was of hearing the same old thing about my heart. It's not working right, I get it. How many times can they rephrase it?

The rest of the week passed easily, same ol' same ol'. On Saturday, Fang and I were at his house. We were home alone, which we were both grateful for. It was our third time having sex, but it still felt brand new. It was so exiting and thrilling, I loved the way my stomach coiled and my toes curled with each touch. The ripples of pleasure that made my knees buckle.

When it was over, Fang and I lay together in the twisted and damp sheets.

"I love you," I mumbled, still getting a thrill each time I said it. I was reliving the last hour, from the first kiss to now. I couldn't believe that it was this amazing. That things could go so perfectly in my life. Fang was so amazing too. I loved him so much; I loved the look he got in his eyes when he looked at me. Loved how he acted towards me. No person was perfect though, and neither was Fang. But the flaws that made the crevasses in our life were the ones I could fill in.

"Love you, too." he smiled.

I wanted to stand, wanted to go shower, but I was naked. I wasn't embarrassed about my nudity in front of Fang, but what if I stumbled- naked!- in front of Fang (what if I jiggled?) Oh well. I stood up and he looked up at me, his eyes drawing in my body.

I smirked. Nope, no embarrassment in either parties. "I'm going to take a shower," I said, walking to the bathroom down the hall, still naked.

"I'll help you," Fang called, I could hear the humor in his voice.

I flipped on the light switch, stepping onto the cold tile towards the tub.

If your clumsy, or fall down a lot, you'll what I'm talking about when you fall and you're able to think a hundred thoughts a second.

First thought usually is, "I'm going to fall." Second, is kind of instinct, you just know where every item to grab on to is. Third, you get that stomach tightening feeling that you, indeed, are going to fall.

But this is just the general string of "Oh shit, I'm Falling" thoughts (or mine, at least).

I grabbed the counter, swiping random items –a hairbrush, tooth paste, a razor- to the floor. I twisted at an awkward angle and managing to hit my thigh first, before belly flopping to the floor -with nothing to cushion me, may I remind you, but skin- with the sound of skin cracking against tile. The pain was sharp and intense, as the wind was knocked out of me. Tears jumped to my eyes saying, "Ha! Not only are you hurt, but we're gonna make you cry!"

"Oh shit, Max!"

Suddenly, arms wrapped around my ungraceful and helpless -at this point- body and pulled me into a sitting position. I gasped. The intense stinging radiated throughout my body, mainly the sick, burning, throbbing, twisting feeling in my thigh. The tears fell and a sound escaped my lips. Embarrassed. God, I was pitiful.

"Max, are you okay?" Fang asked, his eyes skimming over my body to rest on my thigh. He inhaled a breath, "Don't look down." He grabbed a towel and gently laid it on my thigh.

I hissed in a breath, more tears fell and I wrapped my arms around my chest.

"Max, I think we need to go to the hospital. Your thigh does not look good. We need clothes," he ran from the bathroom.

I tried to blink the tears away, "I'm fine!" I called my voice shaky. I really was fine. I just fell. Why did he put a towel on my thigh?

Just then, another burst of pain stabbed my leg making me yelp like a dog.

He reappeared, now dressed. He carried a baggy "T" shirt and loose pants.

"I'm fine. I don't need to go," I whimpered. "And those aren't my clothes," I mumbled, my voice still teary sounding.

"I know, lift your arms," he stretched the shirt over my head, "Your clothes will take too long to put on and there's no way you'd be able to get jeans on. Close your eyes."

"Fang, I don't want to go," my pitiful voice whined. I cried out again when the pain shocked me. I hunched forward, with an urge to gag.

"Too bad, close your eyes. You don't want to see your leg."

My stomach twisted, I closed my eyes. "B-but I don't have underwear."

"Oh well." He quickly and carefully slipped the pants up to my hips. He carefully grabbed me off the floor.

"Fang I-I'm really fine. I can walk." I tried not to hiss in a breath as the pain intensified. I squeezed my eyes shut.

He rushed to the living room and grabbed the keys to Jimmy's truck. "Do you want me to get your mom?" he asked as we went to the truck. He set me on the seat.

Mom. She'd freak. She'd yell. She'd ask about my clothes. I didn't want to deal with it right now.

"No. Fang, I'm fine-" my voice was strained, when I noticed the blood on his shirt. I looked down at my thigh. Smeared blood stained the pants, about the size of my fist. It couldn't be that bad.

I gasped again and more tears wanted to slide down my face.

We made it to the hospital about eight minutes later. More tears escaped as tears took the leap of death from chin to my shirt. I tried to bunch up my pant leg to look at it, but it hurt too much to get it passed my knee. I thought Fang was blowing it out of proportion, as another throb climbed up my leg. I didn't need to see a doctor, it was probably sprained. Um, can you sprain a thigh?

I tried to climb down from the truck cab, but with a gasp and a cry of pain, I almost got too closely acquainted with the asphalt. Thankfully Fang caught me. He carried me in, we signed, filled a form out, and since they didn't want me bleeding all over there waiting room, called me back five minutes later.

Fang sat on the bed next to me as I called my mom, told her I did something to my thigh and I was at the hospital. She said she'd be there ASAP, but she had to find somewhere to leave the little kids.

I didn't care. My leg hurt so much at this point, I kept biting my tongue so I wouldn't cry out anymore.

A nurse came in to poke at my thigh –she managed to roll up the pant leg. Dried blood smeared over my thigh, covering a pulsing swollen -still swelling- lump. The skin was turning a blue-ish color with darker blotches.

I felt sick.

The poking and touching sent me to tears again. Then they wheeled me to get a multiple of X-rays of my thigh. The whole time I was thinking, It can't be that bad! I didn't break it! And, I hope it heals quickly. And, Would I have to use my wheelchair for this? And, My life sucks.

While Fang and I were waiting in the room for the X-ray results, my Mom showed up. She wrapped me in an awkward hug, and then looked at my thigh, she hissed in a breath. We talked for a few, and then waited for an hour before the doctor showed up.

God, I was sick of doctors. And hospitals. He said a bunch of complicated words that frankly, I was tuning in and out of. It's like, I don't care, I just want to fucking know what's wrong with my leg and what can you do for it?

Turned out I had a break in my femur. They wrapped an ace bandage around it, and by then, my thigh had swollen to the size of a small watermelon.

The doctor said when I fell, I cut my leg on something causing the two vertical gashes on my leg. The razor that I had knocked off the counter, I must have scraped against it. He said the angle I hit the ground caused the bone -which apparently was already weak- to snap. I would need surgery to reset the bone correctly. We couldn't do anything now, it was too swollen, and the surgery would be in four days. With that, they gave me a prescription for pain killers and wheeled me to the car.

We were all quiet on the way home. The gravity of the situation was too much to bear. They said I'd be in a chair for at least four months. By then, I would hardly have any leg muscles.

We made a bed on the couch, and for three and a half doped up pain filled days, that's where I stayed.

The surgery wouldn't be too complicated, they said, though I'd have to stay two nights at the hospital. As they prepped me for surgery, my mind turned to Fang. The day I fell, something had changed. He started acting funny around me, something was different in the way he couldn't met my eyes. I guess he finally realized what my situation held. I was destined to keep rotting away until I was dead. And he had finally opened his eyes to it.

Hey guys! Next chapter will be a "Then" chapter again.

Also, here's an inspiring video about a man living with FA (at one point, he takes a hand full of pills, those are Idebenone pills).

watch?feature=player_embedded&v=BTdpBbge9zQ (the link isn't quite working but if you google it, it's the facebook one that says Impossible Is Nothing in the description. It's the 4th link down :)