Chapter Twenty-Five.

That evening, both James and myself went to see my family. We walked up the stairs to the attic, something I was very grateful for as it was raining. Without Helen and Martha around, there was no need to keep up the pre-tense that I was going into the village to deliver alms for the poor. James unlocked the door, and we were greeted by several shouts of hello from various members of my family. James began distributing food to my family, but I went straight up to Alexander and tugged on his arm. He looked at me curiously but didn't object when I pointed for him to go outside, into the hallway. I also grabbed Gwen, who was looking a little nervous, and we walked out into the hallway.

My baby sister clung to my hand as I led her outside. Alexander just looked between the two of us, with a very confused look on his face.

'What's the matter?' He asked me.

I looked down to Gwen, and gave her a small nudge. She could speak, it was better if she told him. But she only looked to the floor, her hand still clasping mine tightly.

'Gwen?' Alexander asked.

She still didn't look up.

I indicated for Alexander to wait one minute and let go of Gwen's hand. Peeking my head around the door, I motioned for James to join us. He did so immediately.

Alexander looked even more confused when James entered. I gave my husband a sort of nod, to indicate that I would like him to explain.

'I believe what Marion is trying to say, is that there was an incident today.' James said.

I felt Gwen reached for my hand and grasp it again. My heart went out to her. I didn't want her to get into trouble, but I just wanted to know why she had been in the house when she was not supposed to have been.

'What happened?' Alexander asked immediately.

'Gwen was in one of the upstairs bedrooms when the servants were cleaning it. She gave them quite a fright, and they tried to hit her with the broom.'

Alexander's head snapped to Gwen.

'Gwen? Are you alright?' he asked, kneeling down before her. Her lip trembled as she walked towards him and let herself be wrapped up in his arms.

'They were really loud. And they wouldn't go away!' She sniffed.

'Anyway, Marion intervened, and the servants are gone now. They won't be bothering you anymore Gwen.' James said kindly.

She sniffled a little, and nuzzled her head into Alexander's shoulder. He held her tightly, rubbing her arms slightly.

'But I believe what Marion wants to know, is why she was in the house? I thought we had all agreed that it was for the best that you don't go into the main house, especially not in daylight.' James told him.

Alexander continued to hold Gwen, but he looked down at her.

'Why were you there?' He asked softly.

Gwen bit her lip and looked down to the floor again.

'I just wanted to see it. It's so big from the outside. I wanted to explore. But then they found me, and… and… I couldn't run away.'

She burst into tears. I hated this, hated seeing my baby sister cry. Alexander whispered comforting words to her as he held her.

'Gwen?' James said, kneeling down in front of her. 'It's alright. You're not in trouble. And those nasty girls have gone home now. So how about tomorrow, I show you all of the house, and the secret passages? Would you like that.'

She sniffled a little bit, but nodded her head.

'Wait, you'll show her, in daylight?' Alexander asked, surprised.

From behind James, I nodded.

We had discussed it earlier.

'Well, yes. It was Marion's idea actually.' James told them.

Alexander looked from me to James, still confused.

Gwen had stopped crying and looked up to me. 'Can I have some dinner now?' She asked.

I smiled at her, and gestured for her to come with me.

I left James to explain to Alexander, and took Gwen to go and get some stew. The rest of my family were happily tucking into their food, and barely looked up when we came through the door.

I ladled out a bowl for Gwen and she took it carefully in two hands and sat down on the floor, next to Tom and Robbie.

As I placed the ladle back into the stew, I thought how nice it was going to be that this was the last time that my family would have to eat like this.

That was what James was telling Alexander about.

Seeing as though there were no longer any servants for my siblings to hide from, it seemed a little pointless to keep them hidden in the attic when there was an entire house that was lying mostly empty for them to live in. James had instantly agreed with me to move my family from their room to the main house. There were plenty of spare rooms, they just needed the beds making.

Which meant that I would be able to see them more, not just an hour or so on a night. They would be able to come and go as they pleased, and we could all eat dinner together around that massive table in the dining room. I would feel like I was part of the family again, not just someone who came to visit.

The door still hadn't opened to let Alexander and James return, so I took it upon myself to see what was taking so long. I walked up to the door silently and pulled it open.

'So there are four guest rooms, a room that used to be for a nanny, and three servant bedrooms. The bed in the nursery is a little too small for any of you, I think even Gwen is too big. How you assign each room is up to you, and if you all want to stay up here together, then that is also fine.'

Alexander nodded, as if he was still trying to take in all the information.

'Well, you are right, it does seem a little pointless to stay up here hiding when there is nothing to hide from. I'll tell them all about it, and will we be able to move tomorrow? Does that give you enough time to sort it all out?'

James nodded.

'I'm sure it will be, although I might be a little slow. Marion's having to teach me how to make beds.'

Alexander chuckled a little at that.

'Oh, you highborns.' He said.

I took a step forward, so I was stood next to James. He jumped a little when he realised that I was stood right there.

'Well, she is an excellent teacher, but unfortunately I have a very large gap in my knowledge of how to function without servants, so forgive me if I'm a little slow.'

It was true. I had spent the remainder of the day trying to teach him how to do basic chores by himself, and each task seemed to last about ten times longer than it did if it was me completing it.

I had made the dinner, for both us and my family. It actually felt good to be allowed to cook in the kitchen again, instead of having someone cook for you. It made me feel like I was once again useful, and I had a purpose. And while doing laundry and cooking and cleaning wasn't exactly my idea of fun, it felt good to know that I could actually do something useful. I had been so unhappy when I had nothing to do but sit and examine my own thoughts. But at least now, I had tasks to do, to complete.

James however, I didn't think that he was quite taking to housework like I was. But he tried, he really did. He didn't complain that he now had to scrub pots and chop vegetables, or make beds. He just did the task, making jokes with me all the way through.

I hadn't been able to help myself. All day, I had been stealing secret glances at him. Now I knew how he felt, it was almost impossible to ignore the large bubble of happiness that had enveloped me.

Because I felt the same back.

After an entire month of doubt, it felt good to know that all of my affection wasn't one sided. James had even kissed me like he had done when we were courting a few times over the course of the day. And I couldn't have been more thrilled.

It wasn't perfect. It was far from it. But it was a start.

'So, I'll tell everyone tonight, and we'll move all our things tomorrow?' Alexander clarified and I snapped out of my thoughts and back into reality.

James agreed with him, and gestured for us to all re-join the rest of the Browns. I shook my head, and pointed to Alexander. James seemed to understand what I was asking, and left to go back into the main room with my family, leaving me alone with my brother.

'So…' Alexander began, waiting for me to explain why I had held him back.

I pulled out the piece of paper I had written earlier, and passed it to him. He looked at me curiously, but unfolded it. I just waited for him to read what was written.

James and I had a discussion earlier, and he mentioned the promise he had made to you on our wedding day.

What on earth gives you the right to decide things like that for me? I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions, and I don't need my younger brother talking about that with my husband! You do not own me Alexander.

He went pale when he finished reading it. He looked up, his face bloodless.

'Arry.' He said, pleading with me.

I simply glared at him.

'I'm sorry. I just thought it was for the best.' He said, but then suddenly his eyes went wide with shock.

'Has he…Have you…'

I shook my head in denial. He released a sigh of relief, and I almost did so as well. I did not want to have this conversation with my brother!

'I know that you are capable of making your own decisions, you have been for about as long as I can remember. But, that day, I was angry and mad, and I didn't trust him. I know you told me that you did, but can you not see it from my eyes. You were marrying him to save us, and I thought he would want something from you in return. Of course I wasn't going to let it happen unless I had a guarantee that he would stick to his word.'

I swallowed. As much as it pained me to admit it, I could see why Alexander did it. It still didn't make it right, but I could understand.

'I really am sorry Arry. It was uncalled for.' He told me.

I nodded, I was just grateful I didn't have to fight him on this.

'So, can we put it behind us?' He asked, hopefully.

I nodded again, and gave him a small smile. My brother just let out a sigh of relief, and walked past me to the room.

'There better be food left!' He shouted, as he made his way towards the stew pot, and I almost laughed.

This was just what they were all like. I missed this, just having us all being together, talking and joking between us.

Ten more months. I just had to hold on for ten more months. I could do this. I could break this evil curse.

I would be able to join in their conversations, I would be able to shout and scream and sing and cry, I would be able to just speak.

I could do this.

I could survive.

I was going to win.

Green, I was surrounded by green.

Blinking, I let my eyes focus on what was around me.

Trees, leaves, dirt. I was in a forest.

I sat up, the scene before me becoming clearer and clearer.

Flowers surrounded me on all sides, as did twigs and fallen brown leaves. I tentatively raised my hand, about to push myself off the ground, when a flash of light reflected off my finger.

I glanced down, trying to see what was shining.

A ring.

There was a ring lying on my fourth finger.

But, it was not the plain gold band that usually resided there.

No, instead, a lovely bronze ring with a small amethyst sat on my finger, the fit perfect.

On my fourth finger of my left hand.

I recognised it. It was the ring I had found in my room that day I had left Milton. But I hadn't tried it on that finger, I didn't want to tempt fate.

But, here it was. Sat on my fourth finger like it belonged there.

Like a betrothal ring.

A loud giggle interrupted my thoughts, and my head snapped around to look at the source of the noise.

The giggle was followed by a lower laugh.

A man's laugh.

It sounded...familiar. Like I had heard it a hundred times before.

I couldn't see who was laughing. I couldn't see anyone.

I was alone in the forest.

I stood up, looking around me.

To my left, a small pond, with golden light reflecting off the surface of the water. Strange tree roots wove around the pond like a living cage.

I knew this place.

It was just off the path in the woods near Milton. I had been here many times before. I came on most Sundays, to read.

And to…to…

My head spun.

Why had I been here so many times? There was something else, something I couldn't place.

There was another reason I had always come here.

The giggle sounded again, echoing lightly off the trees. My head snapped towards it.

Someone was running, I could hear footsteps.

No, two people were running. And laughing.

I knew them. I knew their voices.

A shape shot out from between the trees, and I watched as a girl ran in front of me, her hair streaming out behind her. Her long brown day dress was billowing in the wind, and her head turned slowly over her shoulder as she giggled.

I could only stare.

I knew that girl.

I knew her very well.

I knew her long brown hair, and her grey eyes. I knew her father's nose and her mother's features.

I simply watched in horror as I ran in front of myself.

That was me. Running through the forest, giggling.

The other me, turned to look at me, but didn't stop running. She gave me a small wicked smile, and then looked back to where she was going and ran off.

I stood frozen. I was watching myself!

A male laugh followed after the apparition of me. I turned my head slowly to see who was laughing.

There was a man, running. I couldn't see his front, he had his back turned to me, but he was chasing the ghost of me through the forest.

Although I couldn't see his face, his bright red hair shone in the midday sun. His rough clothes showed that he was a lowborn.

I knew him. I felt it in my bones. I knew him somehow.

'Him! That ginger boy!' A loud voice behind me yelled.

I turned around quickly to see an old man there. He was staring after the boy, his golden eyes shining bright.

My legs moved before I knew what was happening.

It was him. That evil wicked Faerie who had cursed my family. He was standing right behind me.

I stumbled backwards, out of pure fear. I couldn't let him do anything else to me.

I expected him to look cruel and angry, like he had done that day, but instead, his face was full of sorrow as he stared after the boy.

'My spell, oh that one. That one worked perfectly.' He said.

Those were the same words he had said at Springbloom. But instead of laughing at me, he was just looking at the boy.

'Sometimes, there are innocent casualties. We may be magic, but we can't help everyone. And sometimes, the benefits outweigh the costs, but it still costs dearly.'

The faerie turned his head to meet my gaze. I wanted nothing more than to run. I never wanted to see him again, I just wanted to live in peace and never be cursed again.

But my legs wouldn't move. I couldn't move. Not because of magic, but because...because I wanted to hear this. I couldn't explain it, but something inside me wanted to hear what he had to say.

'There are something things that have to be done, for the greater good. And I only hope, one day, that you will see why everything had to happen the way it did.' He told me. 'You had to suffer the most, but to save the most.'

There were tears in my eyes, but I had no idea why. I felt them run down my face.

The boy's laugh sounded again, and I looked around.

He had stopped a little way behind the other me, he was staring directly at her. The other me was looking over the edge of a small hill, at the small pond.

My heart wanted to explode, and I had no idea why.

The other me opened her mouth to speak, and I recognised my own voice, my own words. 'It's beautiful.'

The boy asked 'What is?'

'The view, it's beautiful.' The other me said.

'Yes it is.' He replied, staring at the other me.

More tears fell down my face. I knew how this went, like I had seen in before. Or lived it before.

The other me turned around to smile at the boy. I still could not see his face, but some nagging part of my mind insisted that I knew him.

'He will never forgive me. I know that.' The faerie said from behind me. 'But you will understand. One day.'

I knew I should have turned to look at him, but I found I couldn't tear my eyes off the scene in front of me.

The other me was staring directly at the boy, her face alight with joy. I could see her perfectly. She was so happy, her eyes so full of love.

And something in my heart knew that it wouldn't stay that way. Something knew that it ended in tragedy.

'My time is coming to an end. It will not be long now. I have made my peace with it, but I have not made my peace with you. Not now, you've suffered too much. But one day, I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me when I am gone.'

The scene before me froze, neither of the people moving. I just stared and stared.

'This adventure is a long time planned, and has already started. There will be joy, but there will also be pain, and a great amount of suffering on your part. A great amount.'

I found I didn't have to turn around to know that the faerie enchanter who had cursed my family had gone, and in his place stood the Fae fortune teller from the fair all those years ago.

'Try and fight it all you want, but it will happen. There is no escaping your fate, no one can.'

I still kept looking at the other me and the boy. They looked so happy, so hopeful. So completely unaware of the heartbreak ahead.

'Be wary of happiness. Twice you will think you have found it, and twice it will be taken away.'

The scene before me changed to black, the forest that was all around me disappearing. I watched as the other me and the boy vanished like smoke.

'Someone else must defeat him, but you must endure. You have to endure.'

Slowly, I turned around to face the fortune teller. She looked exactly as she had done in that ragged old tent, her turban balanced on her head, and her tattoos showing.

She gave me a sad smile.

'I'm sorry for your loss. You have not lost them yet, but you will.'

I swallowed. Why did it feel like I had already known the meaning of those words, like I had lived through parts of it?

She gave me a respectful nod, and then also disappeared into smoke.

I was left all alone, surrounded by the blackness.

The ring lay heavily on my finger. The betrothal ring.

But as I looked down, I found that it was joined by another ring.

My wedding ring. The one James had given me.

Both were sat on my finger, side by side. And yet there was something about them that made me worry.

They felt wrong.

They felt like they shouldn't be together. Like there could only be one.

I watched as they tried to move apart from each other, my golden wedding ring slipping further down my finger, until it finally slipped off the end and clattered to the floor, leaving only the other ring in its place.

I reached down to pick up my fallen ring, but it disappeared into smoke just as I was about to grab it.

The blackness around me began to spin, faster and faster and faster. I stumbled from side to side as the entire world began to turn to fast.

It went faster and faster and faster, the blackness slowly fading until I could only see a bright white light. But the spinning wouldn't stop.

Round and round, faster and faster.

I opened my mouth to scream.

And then, the light flashed.

I jolted awake, sitting up immediately. Sweat ran down my back and my breaths came in large heavy gasps.

It was black, completely black.

I looked around frantically for some light, something.

But only darkness.

My breathing was getting shallower and shallower as the panic set in.

Where was I?

I felt sick, and dizzy, and I couldn't breathe.

My hand slipped off the side of the side of the bed, and I fell. Down and down and down, until my shoulder hit the floor with a loud bang.

I opened my mouth to cry out, but closed it again firmly.

I was not going to speak. I couldn't speak. I couldn't cry out in pain.

I tried to push myself up, but my shoulder hurt, and my arms felt weak and shaky. My breaths were still coming in short pants.

I looked up to the bed I had just fallen out of.

I recognised it.

It was my bed. I was in my bedroom in the manor.

There was a noise from the other side of the door on the far side of the room, but I paid it no attention.

Everything was shaking. My hands, my arms, my shoulders. Even my legs shook a little.

I still couldn't breathe. It was like I couldn't get enough air into my lungs. The panic just set in deeper and deeper as the cold began to envelop me.

The door across the room was flung open, and golden light poured out from the doorframe.

I didn't look up. I still couldn't breathe. I needed to breath. I needed air.

The dizziness began to surround me, and I shook uncontrollably.

'Marion! Marion!'

I didn't look, but felt something warm wrap around my shoulders. A blanket.

'Breathe, just breathe, it was only a nightmare. In…'

I breathed in.

'And out…'

I let the breath go.

'Good. In…and out.' The voice repeated. I did the same thing again.

The dizziness began to abate slightly.

'Again, and again. Good. Well done. Again, again, again.'

I did exactly as he said.

Eventually, the dizziness vanished completely, and I was able to breath normally again.

I looked up to see James, his brow furrowed with concern.

He didn't say anything, as I pushed forward and buried my face in his neck. His arms tightened around me as I tried to get the shaking under control.

I had seen myself. A past self or future self I didn't know.

Who was that man? The red haired one?

And he had been there, the faerie. The one who had cursed my family.

But he hadn't seemed evil, only remorseful.

He had spoken to me, with remorse!

I didn't know what to think, what to feel.

'It's alright. It was only a nightmare.' James said, kissing the top of my head lightly.

I wanted to believe him. I desperately did.

But no of it seemed like a nightmare. It seemed like a memory.

It had seemed so real.

James just held onto me tightly as I began to calm myself down.

I couldn't have been; it must have been a nightmare. I couldn't have possibly been anything else.

I had to be rational about this. It was only a nightmare. I couldn't hurt me. It wasn't real.

None of it had been real.

After several minutes, I had calmed down enough to remove myself from James's arms. He looked at me with such a look of concern that my heart almost broke.

'Are you going to be alright?' He asked.

I blinked at him. I honestly didn't know. I didn't really want to close my eyes again if I was going to see the faerie.

I shrugged.

James just nodded.

A yawn rose up inside of me, it was still the middle of the night after all. But James too must also be exhausted, but he waited patiently.

'You need to get some sleep.' He said gently. He stood and offered me his hand, pulling me up. He led me back to my bed, but I hesitated before getting into it.

I was tired, utterly exhausted. But I didn't want the nightmare to come back.

'Will you be alright?' James asked again.

This time, I shook my head.

I didn't want to be alone. Not if he could come back to me in my dreams. I couldn't face him. Not again.

James just squeezed me shoulder gently.

'Would you…Would you like me to stay?' He asked quietly.

I swallowed. I wasn't sure. I just knew I didn't want to be alone.

'Nothing else, just sleeping.' He clarified. 'But if you want me to stay, I will.'

I really did not want to be left alone. Not if he could come back.

And so, I nodded.

James loosed a breath, and then walked to close the door he had come through. He blew out the candle, and guided me into the bed. I slid across the sheets and he followed, the bed dipping a little under his weight.

If it had been any other night, I was sure I would have panicked about how my husband was in my bed, with me. But I trusted him, and I needed him there tonight. He lay back on the pillows and turned his head to me. He gave me a reassuring smile before letting his arms spread a little. I moved towards him, and shifted myself so I was laying in his arms, my head resting on the top of his chest.

It felt a little odd, being so close to him, and so intimate. But in a nice and reassuring kind of way. His arms tightened around me, holding me close to him.

My eyelids began to droop, just as James pressed a small kiss to my hair.

'Sleep well, my love.' He said softly.

Safely wrapped in his arms, I let myself fall back under the blissful tide of sleep.

And I didn't have a single nightmare for the rest of the night.