Disclaimer: The Harry Potter universe doesn't belong to me, but maybe Santa Claus will drop by and bring one of its characters for me... #looks hopeful#
Author's Note: I'm very sorry for the long wait and I also apologise because this chapter is not betaed, simply because I'm too impatient to wait any longer and my beta might have already sent me the chapter, but I can't find them and well, I'll repost it once I have it...
I don't know if you have noticed, but I revised my profile, put information on updates for this story on it, added a nice little poll, concerning my new story,... things like that, so if you are terribly bored you can go there.
Now, Merry Christmas! and I hope you enjoy the chapter!
31/12/07: Thanks to jharad17, this is now betaed! Thanks a lot!
25. IVORY TOWER
"And here are your rooms, Professor." Amy pushed a door open, revealing a rather Slytherin-looking room, with a comfortable king-sized bed, cherrywood cupboards and green curtains. "We were not really sure what you would like, so feel free to redecorate. The door to the left leads to the bathroom and the door to the right leads to a laboratory."
"Oh, no, now you've done it. We won't see Sev at all now," Harry groaned, and Sirius and James high-fived.
"All the better!"
"Be grateful that I do those potions for you," Severus sneered.
"We are grateful for many things," James declared. "Come on, Harry, let's leave the elderlies to themselves. I'll show you to your room. It's in our wing, isn't it, Mum?"
"In your wing, yes," his mother nodded. "Don't forget the tea with the Lupins later on..."
"Yes, Mum."
"Yes, Mrs. P!"
James grabbed Harry's hand, after he had reluctantly slid from Severus' arms, and Remus was grabbed by Sirius. Then the two of them were dragged through the Manor.
"Slow down, guys," Remus admonished them, forcing Sirius to slow down, simply by stopping and putting his foot down. "You are going to make Harry fall."
"Oh, sorry." James looked slightly sheepish, putting an arm around Harry's waist. "Are you okay?"
Harry nodded and they continued on a much more sedated pace, until they reached the rooms for each of the four boys. James' room was of course the largest. He liked to call it the "Master suite," though it was traditionally the room of the Potter heir and consisted of three adjoining rooms, a bathroom and a walk-in closet, where the house-elves were already sorting out his clothes, sending the used clothes down to the laundry room. The three rooms were a bedroom, a study and a kind of living-room, where all his toys used to be stored, but which now only held audio equipment, his collection of Quidditch journals (and other journals that were more private - of course well hidden and to his defence very few in number), his Quidditch equipment, some comics and some board games, smartly hidden in the cupboards and shelves that lined the walls. Everything was very bright and infused by light and the room was dominated by a very Gryffindor colour scheme.
Sirius' room was connected to James', though not through a regular door, but rather one of the many secret passageways, of which the two leading Marauders prided themselves on knowing all. His rooms were, if possible, even redder and more golden than James', and many lions decorated his walls, the bed-sheets and even the carpet. The parts of the room that were not red or gold were decorated with a variety of other colours that mismatched more often than not. Nonetheless, Sirius seemed to be very content with his rooms and proudly showed them off.
Remus' room was situated across the hall from Sirius' and was decorated in soft creme colours and woods. It consisted of just the bedroom and a bathroom, but was still very generous and a lot less offending to the eye than all that red and gold. Sirius suggested with a wink that they should share rooms, which caused James to put his hands over Harry's ears and push him into the next room away from the happy couple.
"I hope you like it," James murmured.
"I can hardly tell only from standing on the threshold, Dad," Harry teased him softly. "Don't be nervous, okay? I'm sure I'll like it."
"I just want it to be perfect," James muttered. "After everything... I just want you to enjoy your stay here and get better."
"I'm not going to commit suicide on you, Dad," Harry promised.
"But it's not because you don't want to," James stated; He made Harry sit down in the comfortable loveseat. "Harry, I know you don't want to talk about it, least of all with me, but I'm here, okay?"
"What do you mean with 'least of all with me'?" Harry asked suspiciously.
"Well... It's just, Sirius is your first choice, isn't he? Really, it's okay, I understand. I mean you never knew me until you came to the past, and he is there for you in the future and..."
"Stop rambling, Dad," Harry interrupted him gently. "You will always be my dad and no one will ever replace you. I love you. I'm sorry if it seems that I choose Sirius over you, but he understands me and he helps me and I trust him. I know that I can trust you, I really do, but I know exactly how Sirius smells and what his arms feel like around me. I hate being Apparated and I needed someone to make me feel safe."
"I understand that," James assured him. "Really. And I don't mind. I mean, Sirius is my best friend, he's your godfather... It's good that you are so close and understand each other so well."
"But you are my father, Dad." Harry shook his head lightly. "I'm not trying to replace you. Neither is Sirius or Remus or Severus. I may not have known you for that long, but I love you and always will. I just accepted a long time ago that you and Mum are... well..."
"Dead?" James supplied with a reckless grin despite the topic of their conversation.
"Yes, very so," Harry tried to joke, but it came out a little weak. "I had no one for so long, and then I suddenly had Sirius and with him Remus and a bit later Severus. They are my link to you, they are all I have left of you and Mum. I'm going to lose you again; I can't lose them too."
"Really, kiddo, I wonder where you get that melodramatic attitude from." James ruffled his hair affectionately.
"From you of course." Harry stuck his tongue out at him. "Who was just complaining about not being my first choice, huh?"
James gasped indignantly. "Not in that tone, young man. That is no way to talk with your father. You'll have to face the consequences now..."
The last words were accompanied by his nimble fingers starting to run up and down Harry's side, making the younger boy flush and giggle helplessly as he tried to wriggle out of his grasp.
"Stop, please," Harry finally panted out between giggles and James' fingers stilled.
"You give up?" he said confidently, but Harry shook his head, grinning.
"Nope, I just wanted a break."
"Oh, you..." and the tickling war started all over again, though, as James was in a much better position, with Harry locked between his legs, it was mostly him doing the tickling and Harry the laughing.
It felt good to hear Harry laugh like this, thought James. Harry hadn't been so relaxed and carefree for too long, and he congratulated himself for lightening up the mood.
Finally he stopped his attack when he spotted something hovering outside his window.
"Seems like your dragon found her way here as well." He stood up to let in the small blue creature that was more or less patiently waiting in front of the closed window. "You know, she's rather cool. I wish my Dad would allow me to keep a dragon, but he thinks they are dangerous or something. Well, at first his reasoning was that I had to learn to take responsibility before I could get one, and then it changed into that I was now old enough to understand that I couldn't have one."
"Sounds like something Remus would do." Harry chuckled. "If Sirius had his way I would have at least eight puppies by now."
"Sounds like something Sirius would do." James grinned. "Still, I'm glad that he tries to spoil you."
"They both do," Harry assured him, "and Severus too, though he's not too fond of Nightmare. The feeling is quite mutual actually."
"Yes, I noticed." James smirked and patted the purring dragon's head. "A good reason to like her even more."
Harry laughed. "She only likes Gryffindors for some reason; she's very patriotic."
/Only reasonable,/ Nightmare hissed and blinked up at him. /I don't feel like ending up in one of Snape's potions one day, and Ravenclaws are boring, except that Lovegood girl; she's weird. And most of the Hufflepuffs are afraid of me.../
/Oh, poor you./ Harry laughed before turning back to James. "Can you show me around now?"
"Sure, little man," James laughed. "I thought you'd rather have a smaller, cosy room, but if you want we can switch rooms."
"A small room is fine, Dad."
Harry was first led over to the queen-sized bed, with soft green covers, then back to the creme-coloured loveseat and then over to his desk and the bookshelf, before they entered the bathroom.
"Do you think you'll find your way around on your own now?" James asked.
"Yes, Dad," Harry assured him. "I'll be fine."
"It's really dark in here," James informed him. "I thought it would be better for your eyes, and the house-elves will unpack your things..."
"I'd rather do that myself," Harry said, "so that I know where everything is."
"Of course, I should have known. Sorry."
"You don't have to know everything." Harry shook his head, wrapping his thin arms around James' neck. "You are perfect. I don't need another know-it-all. Hermione is quite enough. Just be yourself, okay?"
"That's not always easy," James replied self-deprecatingly.
"Being someone else is even more difficult," Harry sighed. "Believe me."
"Stop this depressing talk at once." Sirius bounded into the room, tackling James to the floor. "It's the holidays and what's even more important, it's Christmas. Five days until Christmas. Count the days with me: One. Two. Three. Four and five. Yay! And now it's Christmas. We have to decorate the tree soon or Santa Claus won't know where to drop all the good presents. And then we need to put up mistletoe and bake cookies. Don't tell me you forgot about the cookies, James!"
"Paddy, firstly, the house-elves banned you from the kitchen after last year's disaster. Secondly, you know that we don't decorate the Christmas tree until one day before Christmas. And lastly, I think we should forget about the mistletoe this year," he nodded towards Harry, clearly indicating that he would rather no one kissed his son.
"So what do we do, spoilsport?" Sirius grumbled, lying down with his head on James' stomach. "And don't say 'playing Quidditch' because there's no way I'm going to go fly in that freezing cold."
"I think Harry and I will take a nap," Remus offered, pulling Harry into his lap. "You seem tired, cub, and I certainly am. You need to regain your strength."
"So do you." Harry nodded. "Did you take the potion?"
"Yes, I did."
"And were you a good little boy and thank Uncle Sevvie for it?" Sirius teased him, returning the werewolf's glare with a raised eyebrow.
"Of course I thanked him! Did you see that recipe? I don't know anyone else who can do such a complicated potion. And it really helps me," Remus returned. "If he wanted me to beg for the potion on my knees and kiss his shoes, I would."
"Merlin, that's disgusting," Sirius made a matching face. "Don't think I'll ever let you kiss me again, if your lips touched anything of Snape, especially his shoes. I bet he has smelly feet."
"Sirius, behave yourself," Harry admonished before turning to Remus and kissing his cheek. "That won't be necessary, Remy. You would probably only annoy him. He knows how grateful you are and he likes to help people. Don't laugh!"
"We are not laughing," James denied, trying to regain a straight face. "We are only... slightly amused. Right, guys?"
"Sev is great," Harry muttered defensively.
"The world would be a very boring place if everyone liked everyone," Sirius declared. "Now, if you two layabouts want to sleep, Jamie and I will find a way to amuse ourselves, won't we, Prongs?"
"Sure." James nodded. "You take good care of Harry," he told Remus and then softly closed the door behind him and Sirius.
"So what do we do now?" Sirius asked impatiently, leaning against the wall nonchalantly.
"Now we plan revenge," James said with a smirk. "We still have some outstanding accounts, and I believe Dumbledore expects a Christmas present from us too..."
"Yes, we are certainly defaulting." A slow smirk spread over Sirius' handsome features. "I think we should make a list."
"Good idea." James bounced in excitement over to his room, the traditional plotting base. "Let's see... Dumbledore."
"Malfoy."
"Both."
"Of course."
"Your parents."
"Thanks."
"It's understood."
"That Ravenclaw, Robert whathisname, who got milk all over my shirt and didn't even apologise."
"Daniel Cray. He came on to Lily and Harry at the same time."
"That's stupid."
"Hey."
"I mean because he flirted with them where you could see it and because he didn't make up his mind who to go for- though, in his defence they are both gorgeous."
"I'm going to ignore that comment."
"Oh, come on, don't tell me you haven't noticed."
"Of course I noticed, but I'd rather I had been the only one. I never thought I'd have to be so protective of my son."
"He's just such a cutie," Sirius cooed, "and a hottie. That's a lethal combination."
"Okay, change of subject. What's the plan?" James shook his head to rid himself of these disturbing thoughts.
"Presents for everyone?" Sirius offered, grinning broadly. "We should still have some surprises in store."
"Not enough though," James made an objection. "We used up quite a lot of our ideas for the end of the year prank."
"Are you telling me that we can't come up with something new?" Sirius cried, outraged. "We'll have enough time while cutie and Moony are napping..."
And so they set to work and it was certainly safe to say that each of the aforementioned persons got a rather nasty Christmas surprise that quite ruined their day (Dumbledore bore it in good humour) and caused Sirius and James to burst into hysteric laughter throughout the holidays, just thinking of it.
However, now it was still a few days until Christmas, and Mr. and Mrs. Lupin had just arrived through the floo, sitting a bit awkwardly on the Potter's huge sofa.
They loved their son, there was no doubt about that, and no one would claim otherwise. So it was only natural that they were plagued by guilt and awkwardness that they couldn't support him better and couldn't be there for him in his time of need. They knew that Remus understood, but that didn't keep them from blaming themselves. They should have protected Remus better, they should have prevented him from being so insecure because of the many prejudices he was faced with, they should help him somehow, they should...
And now suddenly they were presented with an answer to their prayers in the form of a grumpy, sour-looking, pale-skinned, black-haired wizard, who declared, with a glare to match the gloomy sky outside, that he had made a potion that would allow their son to keep his human mind and that he had already administered it once. If they hadn't been shocked enough after that revelation, the nonchalant explanation that he came from the future with two other students, one of whom was the son of their son's friend, sent them into a sort of resigned consternation.
While the Lupins therefore sat in stunned silence, slowly sipping their tea, which Amy had kindly refilled for them, after they had spilled most of it earlier, Severus rose as Harry and the others entered the room.
"Harry, come here," he ordered. "You need to take your potions."
"If you had your way I would be constantly taking some kind of potion," Harry grumbled.
"Don't complain. Here, tastes like apple."
"You..."
"Yes, now take that potion," Severus snapped, leaning back into the sofa as Harry hugged him. "You need the Pepper-Up Potion, and I'd rather not hear you complaining about the taste every single time."
"I love you, genius." Harry kissed his cheek. "I will get better, I promise."
"Of course you will," Severus stated decisively. "Won't you say hello to the Lupins?"
"Oh, sorry, I didn't know that you were already here, Mr. and Mrs. Lupin. How are you doing?" Harry greeted them.
"Quite alright, Mr. Potter."
"Oh, please, Mr. Lupin, call me Harry, otherwise it might get a bit confusing." Harry smiled at them. "And you've already met Severus, haven't you? Has he told you about Remy's potion?"
"Yes, it sounds... great," Mrs. Lupin said cautiously.
"It really helps me, Mum," Remus offered quietly. "It is great. It helps me to stay human, at least on the inside."
"I'm glad, honey." His mother pulled him into a hug. "Now you can come home for Christmas. Do you want that, Remus?"
"Mum, I..."
"It would be no problem for Remus to stay here," Amy offered at once. "He's always welcome, and I dare say he's got a good influence on my boys," she smiled mischievously at her son and Sirius.
"It would be better if he was here while the potion is administered," Severus snapped, glaring for some inexplicable reason down at Harry. "There can always be complications, and in order for it to be effective, he still needs to take a few more batches of the potion, which have to be newly prepared every time."
"Oh, if you want to stay, Remus..." Mr. Lupin returned.
"Yes, Dad, I want to stay here," the werewolf answered softly.
He didn't want his parents to see him like that.It was certainly irrational to feel that way, but he couldn't help but fear that they wouldn't love him anymore. He still remembered his mother's shocked and frightened face when the healer had affirmed his condition, his disease. He didn't want to reinforce that fear. As long as they didn't see him, he was still their Remus.
"If that's what you want," Mrs. Lupin made a valiant attempt to hide the hurt in her voice. "How about you and your friends come by for a visit the next day?"
"That would be great, Mum." Remus smiled at her in relief and gratitude, and turned to his friends. "What do you say?"
"Of course, we'll come," James declared at once and Sirius nodded vigorously. "Thanks for inviting us."
The fine-drawn woman with Remus' tawny hair smiled a bit more happily, watching in fascination as the Potion Master's sour face relaxed slightly when the small blind boy snuggled up to him. There was a connection between the two, which she knew far surpassed the intimacy between her own son and herself. She also noticed the subtle twitch of jealousy and envy on James' face and she wondered how it had come to this.
Sometimes she felt like an intruder when she entered her son's room, thought that she was violating his right of privacy when she came to air and dust his room during the school term. And when her son's sad, knowing and understanding eyes locked onto hers, she felt like a criminal standing trial. She wistfully thought of the happy days when Remus had been normal- no, she corrected herself, he was still normal, the days before he had been bitten. Sure, he had always been a little bookworm, but still such a lively child. Always polite but with a carefree laugh. He had been the darling of the whole family and now her parents refused to see him let alone to let him into their house. She had talked to him of course, told the small boy that it was not his fault, but she knew that he had always blamed himself, and deep down she knew that there was a tiny part of her that also blamed him. And that made her a bad mother. She couldn't stand herself sometimes.
"It's only natural," Harry said suddenly, "and you are not a bad mother, Mrs. Lupin. Remus loves you."
"How do you know?" she stuttered.
"The tension in the air, your nervous shifting, the awkward silence," Harry numerated easily. "You get more perceptive of things like that when you are blind. I know several werewolves, and most of their parents didn't react half as well as you did. Don't blame yourself, there's a reason for everything. Maybe it's time you forgive yourself. I can give you the addresses of several self-help groups..."
"How can you be so wise?" she asked before she could stop herself, blushing a faint pink that suited her fair skin and suddenly made her seem very youthful and pretty.
Harry laughed. "You run such a group in our time and I've heard you say such things quite often. It's no wonder it stuck."
"Why were you at those meetings?" Sirius asked confused.
"Because you were there," Harry replied with a shrug. "You wanted to prove to Remus how supportive you can be."
Sirius blushed too, but it was barely visible because of his tanned skin, and he quickly changed the subject to the - in his opinion - unbelievably good cookies. Severus rolled his eyes and Harry snuggled back into him.
Finally the Lupins took their leave, and after Mrs. Lupin had assured Harry and Remus that they would go to one of the self-help groups, she tightly hugged her son and left with a much lighter heart.
"You'll always be my baby boy," she whispered, kissing his cheek. "And we love you."
"I know, Mum," Remus returned softly, carefully hugging her back. "I love you too and I don't blame you at all."
"Take good care of you and your friends, and if you need us, just floo," his father reminded him. "Are you sure you don't want to come home with us, son?"
"I'm sure, Dad," Remus assured him. "They are of my pack, too."
Mr. Lupin followed his wife through the fireplace. Amy took the plate of biscuits in one hand and her husband on the other and they left together.
Harry had fallen asleep by then, and Severus resigned himself to carry him upstairs, Remus faithfully trailing behind him to get his potion. Severus quickly put Harry down on his bed before passing through to the laboratory where he finished the very last steps of the potion. He poured some of it in a separate potion before adding the previously chopped and carefully measured aconite, stirring twenty-one times counter-clockwise, once through the middle, eight times clock-wise, then letting it simmer for forty-five additional seconds before letting it boil and then quickly taking it from the magical fire and handing it to the waiting werewolf.
"Drink it before it gets cold," he instructed neutrally, before making sure that the remaining potion was simmering peacefully.
"Thank you, Professor," Remus murmured after gulping down the potion. "Should I take Harry with me?"
Severus nodded, handing two vials over to the werewolf. "Make sure he takes these. I'll just have to renew his bandages."
Harry's wrists looked unblemished and well healed, but brushing his thumb over the pale skin, he could feel how thin and easily breakable it was. The veins, seeming blue, shone through the milky skin. Severus took out a new bandage and firmly wrapped it around Harry's right wrist to prevent the skin from breaking up once more, and maybe also to remind himself to be extra gentle with Harry these days. He then repeated the action on the other wrist before reluctantly allowing Remus to scoop Harry up.
He sat down in his admittedly very comfortable armchair as the door closed softly after the two boys, and in a moment of weakness put his head into his hands. Then he collected himself and dealt with the five owls waiting for him or rather for Harry, but there was no way for them to get through to Harry. He had made sure of that.
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