Disclaimer: The world of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling

The Truth behind your eye

By RawenclawBabe

Chapter 24 Life is bad and it only gets worse

Azkaban had been terrible. The Dementors robbed a person of every good memory, of every good feeling – in the end they had nothing left not even hope. Azkaban could be compared to opening the box of Pandora: experiencing the horrors unleashed. But it was infinitely worse, because one would never find the hope on the bottom of the box. There was no hope at Azkaban.

Sirius had only survived by transforming in his animagus form. Animals had a different mental level and the Dementors weren't able to suck on the feelings of animals. Nevertheless Sirius Black almost lost his remaining humanity at Azkaban.

He had escaped from Azkaban – he was the only prisoner who had ever done so. And now he was living the life of an animal. He didn't dare to transform back to his human form, because the Magical Law Enforcement was hunting him. He lived as an animal. He became an animal? There were times he wasn't sure he was human any more. Was he still Sirius Black or was he the dog Padfoot?

There was only one thought that kept him going: revenge. Sirius Black wanted to avenge the murder of his best friend James Potter.

He lived as wild animal. He hunted vermin – rats, mice, birds – to eat. He ate raw meat of small animals. He had become an animal himself, because no human being would live like that.

Autumn had come early that year. The cold only made his situation worse. He had no home and couldn't light a fire. He had his fur but he was freezing. It was time to get into the castle – it was time to finally kill Peter Pettigrew.

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Remus Lupin had something special for his third-year Gryffindor/Hufflepuff class today. There was a boggart in a wardrobe in the staffroom. So when the students arrived he told them:

"We'll have a practical lesson today. Mr. Filch has found a Boggart in the staffroom. So today we'll learn how to fight a Boggart. Follow me to the staffroom, please."

The class entered the staffroom, where Professor Snape was sitting in an armchair reading the Daily Prophet. When he saw the third-years entering with Professor Lupin, he stood up.

"Leave the door open. I don't have to see this." Severus Snape hurried out of the door.

Lupin assembled the students in front of the wardrobe and began his lesson:

"Today our lesson is about boggarts. What do you know about boggarts?"

Hermione raised her hand ant the teacher bid her to speak: "Boggarts are shape-shifters. They want to provoke fear – therefore they take on the form of what a person fears the most. No one knows what they really look like."

Professor Lupin nodded: "Correct Miss Granger – ten points for Gryffindor. Now there is a boggart in this wardrobe. The best way to fight a boggart is an honest laughter. If you stand in front of it, the boggart will take on the look of your worst fear. To fight it you must turn it into something funny. Imagine the Boggart in a funny form and say the incantation 'Riddikulus'. Lets all try the incantation. 'Riddikulus'"

The class repeated the incantation: "Riddikulus"

Lupin nodded: "Good. Once again: 'Riddikulus'"

"Riddikulus." The students chorused.

Professor Lupin raised his voice again: "Good. The Boggart can only focus on the fears of a single person. For our exercise you'll have to face it individually. I want you to form a line. Who wants to start? Well let's see - Neville Longbottom?"

Neville swallowed.

Professor Lupin stood next to his students: "So Neville – what's your worst fear?"

Neville swallowed again and whispered: "Professor Snape."

Professor Lupin raised his eyebrow: "What was that?"

Neville took a deep breath and repeated: "Professor Snape is my worst fear."

Lupin nodded: "Well the Boggart will turn into Professor Snape then. You live with your grandmother, don't you?"

Neville sighed: "Yes, but I wouldn't want the Boggart turn into her either."

Professor Lupin shook his head: "That's not what I meant. I want you to picture her clothing."

Neville started: "Well she is wearing a dress, a vulture hat and a red handbag."

Remus Lupin smirked: "When the Boggart turns into Professor Snape – I want you to picture him in your grandmothers clothing and you'll flick you wand and say the incantation 'Riddikulus'. Can you do that for me, Neville?"

The boy nodded.

Remus Lupin stepped back and Neville stood alone in front of the wardrobe. He flicked his wand and the door of the wardrobe was opened.

A menacing looking Professor Snape stepped out of the wardrobe. He was looking at Neville dangerously.

Neville was breathing heavily and shuddered. He closed his eyes to concentrate: "Riddikulus."

Professor Snape stood in front of Lupins class wearing a green dress, a red handbag and a vulture hat.

The class burst out in laughter and Professor Lupin laughed with them.

Hermione groaned mentally, there was no way in hell that Professor Snape wouldn't here of this incident – poor Neville.

Remus Lupin raised his voice: "Great, Neville. Ronald Weasley is next."

Neville went away from the Boggart and Ron stepped forward. The Boggart instantly turned into a giant spider.

Ron started to tremble. He was breathing heavily now – he hated spiders. He started to hyperventilate.

Professor Lupin spoke to him calmly: "Breath deeply, concentrate and then say the incantation."

Ron took a deep breath: "Riddikulus."

Suddenly the spider was wearing skates and wasn't able to stay on its legs any more.

Hermione got lucky – the lesson was over before she had to face the Boggart. Her life had changed so much over the last days that she didn't know her fears any more. What would her fears tell about her and her new family – she really couldn't risk facing a Boggart while she was near her gossiping classmates. Her family's secrets could became known and endanger them all.

At the end of the lesson Hermione was one of the first to leave the room. She bid Neville goodbye, telling him she had to go to the library. She hurried through the halls until she entered the library. She went to her favourite spot and sat down to do her homework.

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Ronald Weasley was happy. The Defence against the Dark Arts lesson had been hilarious. He couldn't help but making fun about Snape cross-dressing non-stop. He was joking about Snape in the clothing of Neville's grandmother, when they were on there way to potions – the first lesson of the day the day after the incident.

Ron broke out laughing as Snape entered the classroom. He whispered to Seamus, who was sitting next to him: "Well, the greasy git looks better in a dress, than he does now."

Professor Snape had heard every word. He had also heard of the incident during dinner the day before. He narrowed his eyes on Ron: "Mr. Weasley - 20 points from Gryffindor for slandering a teacher. And since you prefer men in female dress, maybe you want to try it yourself."

Professor Snape waved his wand at Ron and the boy was wearing a scarlet-red gown. He looked at him and said: "Well, Gryffindor colours don't really work with your colouring. Maybe you want to try another colour."

The Slytherins sniggered.

He waved his wand again and Ron was wearing an emerald-green evening gown. Professor Snape smirked and nodded: "Perfect. Slytherin colours are perfect for red-heads."

The Slytherin half of the class broke down laughing. But they stopped momentarily, when Professor Snape looked at them.

He looked at the class: "Today we are brewing a shrinking solution, we'll try the potions next lesson on your pets – so it would be better, if you did it right. The recipe is on the board."

The students weren't moving and Ronald Weasley seemed to be waiting for his clothing to return to its original state. Professor Snape narrowed his eyes and snapped at them: "What are you waiting for – begin. And Mr. Weasley – you will have your uniform back in the evening – but if you remove the dress from your body before, it'll stay like this." Professor Snape smirked at the red-headed Gryffindor and went to his desk to sit down.

Neville swallowed. He had been the reason for the gossip of Snape cross-dressing and he truly feared what the teacher would do to him, especially after what had happened to Ron.

Neville worked really hard on his Shrinking Solution. The potion had to be perfect or Trevor would die in the next lesson. He didn't really like toads, but he didn't want to see his pet dead either. Well, at least Ron had prevented Snape to concentrate on him – he could almost brew his potion in peace – a truly rare occasion. And Hermione had hardly to help him!

Ron was quite unfortunate. They didn't have Transfiguration that morning, only History of Magic. Professor Binns didn't even notice his dress and couldn't have helped him with it any way. So Ron had to stay dressed in that elegant emerald-green evening gown.

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Fred and George were sitting at lunch in the Great Hall that day. They were making plans for the upcoming Hogsmeade weekend. Suddenly Fred went very quiet before shouting: "OH MY GOD OUR BROTHER IS A FRUIT!"

His twin George looked at him disbelieving: "What Percy is finally coming out?"

He was hit on the head by the Headboy – Percy Weasley: "I'm not gay. I'm heterosexual and I've got a girlfriend – Penelope Clearwater - you idiot. Look at the door."

All the older Weasleys – those who were still at Hogwarts – were staring at Ron disbelieving.

The youngest Weasley boy entered the Great Hall and the whole school started laughing.

The Weasley twins went over to Ron: "Really Ronniekins -" "- it's ok to go in drag –" "- but Slytherin colours? –" " -and an evening gown on a school day –" " - you could have tried the girl's school uniform first - " "-you look great though-" "-but you really should do something with your hair-" "- a touch of make-up -"

Ron's eyes went wide. His brothers thought him a fruit now? Shit. Shit. Shit. His life couldn't get any worse. Damn, Snape – it was all Snape's fault.

Albus Dumbledore was fuming – this insolence. He wanted high moral standards for his school and now there was a boy in drag in the middle of the Great Hall, while the rest of the students were laughing. He couldn't believe it. Didn't this boy know anything about decency?

Dumbledore stood up and said in a booming voice enough: "ENOUGH. I want you all to calm down."

The Great Hall went silent immediately.

Dumbledore raised his voice again: "Mr. Weasley – I want you to come to my office after lunch."

Ron who stood next to the Gryffindor table swallowed. Never before had he been summoned to the Headmaster's office. Hell for all he knew, even the twins had never been there – and they had done some really freaking pranks. He was worried – and it was all Snape's fault. He really hated the greasy git.

The Head of Houses looked at each other in surprise. The Headmaster hardly ever looked into disciplinary issues himself. Why did he want to speak to Ronald Weasley?

Professor McGonagal became worried – she was the Head of Gryffindor after all – as such she had the right to discipline her students. And not wearing the school uniform during school hours was an issue – but nothing the Headmaster was usually interested in. The boy probably had been the victim of a prank and the Headmaster wanted to punish him for it now. She groaned.

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Ron went to the Headmaster's office after lunch. He stood in front of the Gargoyle that secured the staircase. He breathed deeply. He was afraid what the Headmaster would do to him.

The Gargoyle moved aside and Ron was told by it to step on the moving staircase. He was brought up and stood in front of the Headmasters office.

Ron was apprehensive when he entered the office. The Headmaster was sitting at his desk and Fawkes was singing on his perch.

The Headmaster watched the young Gryffindor in his emerald-green dress. He seemed to be remarkable uncomfortable. He flinched under the Headmaster's gaze.

Albus Dumbledore opened his desk drawer and took out a vial. He looked at the potion for a moment, before giving it to Ronald Weasley: "Drink this potion. It will cure your sick urges."

Ron's eyes went wide – he considered his alternatives – he had to obey the Headmaster. He was shaking when he took the vial.

"Don't worry my boy. I've taken this potion several times myself – it helps you to fight your sick urges – it has always helped me."

Ron took a deep breath and drank the potion.

Dumbledore nodded and transfigured the green dress back into Ron's school uniform.

Ron smiled at the Headmaster: "Thank you, Sir."

The Headmaster nodded: "You're welcome, Mr. Weasley. You are dismissed."

Ron Weasley nodded and hurried to get out the Headmaster's office.

Albus Dumbledore remained behind his desk – he had fought against his own sexual urges for most of his life. He had loved Gellert Grindelwald – but he believed a sexual relationship between two men to be wrong. So he decided to take a potion to suppress his sick urges. He wanted a normal life – a wife a family – even if he had to use potions to achieve that goal. Although he felt weird whenever he took those potions – they changed his mind – his psyche – but he'd do anything for a normal life.

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A large black dog made its way through the Forbidden Forest towards the grounds of Hogwarts. The animal had no difficulties entering the grounds.

Sirius Black was at Hogwarts. It had been over a decade since he had last been here. In his school years the Marauders had explored the grounds and he had the advantage knowing most of the secret passages in the school. He decided to hide in one of them to await the night – a large black dog couldn't run through the halls of Hogwarts while the students were around. But he had to find Peter, who was with that Gryffindor boy from the newspaper – Weasley or something like that. He had to get into Gryffindor tower. How could a dog get into Gryffindor house without being able to talk to the Fat Lady and without the password? He had to find a way.

He needed a plan. Maybe he could gain the trust of someone living in Gryffindor tower.

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Remus Lupin sat in his office that evening. He had always known Severus Snape to be a dangerous man – a man who loved revenge. He had seen what his former classmate had done to a student, who had only insulted him. If he got a chance, what would this man do to a man who had nearly killed him? He shuddered, but he knew Headmaster Dumbledore would protect him from Severus Snape's wrath.

Remus sighed. The moon would rise soon. It wasn't full moon yet – tomorrow would be the first night of it. But he could already feel the moon's call in his blood. The Wolfsbane Potion helped, but still he could hardly concentrate. And he had still correct essays from all of his classes – so much work. Well, his life had never been easy!

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A/N: I apologize, if I have offended anybody. I didn't mean any disrespect for homosexuals, transsexuals and transvestites. Homophobia is wrong and homosexuality can't be cured, even if there are people who believe that.