Diversion Tactics

Yes, I know about Terry's genetics. Yes, I know that it doesn't fit the timeline. But this is my AU, and I make the rules around here. Okay? Okay. This one takes place after "Little Robin Redbreast".

"I won't allow it," Damian said firmly, not looking away from the computer screen. "Absolutely not. Legal complications aside, Laila outstrips him both in maturity and crimefighting prowess. Our daughter can do better."

Steph pushed the back of his chair with her boot. He didn't look up, so she did it again. And again. And again.

"She's going to choose whoever she's going to choose, and you're going to deal with it, Daddybat."

He shot a glare at her over his shoulder.

"I wish you wouldn't call me that."

"And I wish you'd stop making Lai feel like she's disappointing the family name by liking someone you don't approve of," Steph said, giving his chair another kick. Damian heaved a sigh, turning around and grabbing her ankle. "You know she worships you."

"I simply don't feel that it is a good match for her," he admitted. Steph rested her boots on his knees, giving him a calculating look.

"And this has nothing to do with the fact that Tim's his mommabird, right?"

"Tt. Caddoc is legally her first cousin. I don't care about that, but I don't want her to suffer the media backlash-nor do I want to have to be primed on what I can and cannot say to them at the dinner table."

"I used to trust you," she said. "But then you asked if any sex was involved in their babymaking, or if they were just fornicating for the sake of fornication. And you know how Tim is."

Damian preened, patting her calf.

"Of course I know how Tim is. That is why I said it in the first place."

"You're a terrible person," Steph told him fondly. "And I don't stop you from that. But, I draw the line at letting you be a terrible father. If she wants to kiss her part-alien cousin, I'm giving her the go-ahead. It's a brave new world, and you should know by now that Laila's going to do whatever the hell Laila wants."

"I..." He made a low noise in his chest, annoyed and contemplative at the same time. "I do know that. She's fifteen. I do trust her judgment, but..."

Steph leaned into him, kissing his cheek.

"But you still worry, Daddybat. I know. I do, too. But take a second to think about what we were doing at her age. Me? I was a pregnant and dating a sidekick who wouldn't give me his real name."

"And I..." Fifteen seemed like a very, very long time ago.

"You'd sold your soul to the Devil and was about to embark on Sad Orphan in Snow: the World Tour," Steph supplied helpfully. "She's doing a lot better than we did at fifteen. Cut her some slack and let her make her mistakes."

His wife had a damnable way with words.

"She is wiser than either of us. I know that. But she's still a little girl."

"Enough," said little girl announced, dropping soundlessly from above. He'd known that she was hiding there, but he hadn't called her out. Better that she 'overhear' his concerns than be defensive if he brought them up to her directly. Laila was already dressed in her Robin uniform, ready to join her family on their evening constitutional. But it'd only be a half night for her, since she did have school in the morning and even an above-average IQ needs some sleep to function properly.

"We were just talking about you, pumpkin," Steph said brightly. Laila smiled briefly at her before turning to Damian with an etched frown.

"Father," Laila said, tucking a hank of long black hair behind her ear. He knew exactly where she'd learned that blasé glare from, and he found himself feeling vaguely guilty for having turned it on so many people himself over the years. "I have no interest in Caddoc. It was merely a diversion."

Damian sat up a little straighter in his chair. "Excuse me?"

"A diversion, Father. I don't want to date Caddy. My feelings for him are not unlike the feelings I would have for a loyal dog, if you'd allowed me to have one as a child. I knew that if you believed that I was interested in him, you would panic and worry about that hypothetical situation, leaving me free to see the boy I like. His name is Terry, and he has no connections to the vigilante community-and no connection to domestic or international crime. I investigated his family thoroughly before I approached him at school, so please don't feel that you need to recheck my work."

Steph had a hand clapped over her mouth to keep from laughing, but mumbled little giggles were escaping between her fingers.

Damian nodded once at his daughter, the corner of his mouth turning up into a smirk.

"Well played."