Lunar Embrace - Twenty Fifth Chapter
...
She gazed at him from across the room, her mouth dry, stomach churning when she remembered the feel of his skin on hers. The taste of it against her lips.
It lingered on them even now. Forever imprinted into her memory. The warmth of his body radiating next to hers. That scar on his stomach. It had cut across from the top of his left thigh to just above his waist, a pale line that curved in such a way that it must have come from a spell.
She hadn't thought about it at the time, but now, sitting here, she wondered. What had caused it? Who had caused it for that matter? Had it been someone from the Order? A muggleborn trying to defend themselves from a killing curse? It wasn't recent, she could tell that much. He must have gotten in during the first war. Still, it bothered her.
It kept nagging at the back of her mind whenever her thoughts wandered to that moment when... when they were together.
Hermione didn't want to focus on it. It was just a scar. He had another one as well, but different from what she had seen of it. When he woke up and had caught her looking he had covered it quickly with his shirt, never turning away so she couldn't see the back of it as well. That's what she guessed anyway from the look of the puncture wounds that must have run deep at one point but were now no more than white specks, evenly spaced, about a centimeter in diameter, wrapped in a curve that cut off at the top and side of his left shoulder. There was likely an identical pattern on the other side, from the bottom jaw of whatever creature had caught him in it's grip.
That had to be why her thoughts skipped over it for the most part, not caring that he had attempted to hide it when she did notice it. That one had been caused by some animal, something with fangs, not a wand.
Not by another person that had likely been defending themselves or someone else from him. Just like Remus would have done if Barty's spell hadn't been the one to land first. The image of the werewolf on the floor of the Weasley's home, blood staining the carpet flashed through her mind and she squeezed her eyes shut.
Her throat clenched as she reminded herself that he was out of Saint Mungo's now. That he was better and had recently gone on a mission for the Order, even if he was accompanied by another member unlike the time he was recruiting... She swallowed to try and get the bad taste out of her mouth. Of his warm skin, lips, tongue. How could she have touched him like that after everything? Actually pulling his clothes off herself? Those sounds she had made when he touched her?
"Need you."
Her skin warmed at what she had said. The way her voice had almost turned into a whine as she told him to take her.
She leaned down, her forehead hitting the coffee table with a dull thump. What was wrong with her?
"Hermione?" Her head shot up at the sound of his voice. To see him standing there in an unbuttoned shirt, just a few inches of that scar showing, loose pants clinging to his hips, an arm outstretched toward her that held a cup of tea, steam rising from the mug.
She reached out for the glass, both hands slipping around it so it wouldn't fall as she took it from him. Her eyes lowered to look at the orange hue of the drink before she took a sip from the cup, not entirely sure if she could meet his gaze right now. Not when the only thing she could currently think about was how many people he had hurt, killed. And she was here with him now, drinking tea, a pleasant ache in her muscles, too aware of his eyes on her.
There was a sigh to her right. "I'm sorry about the other day. If I said anything to upset you during then I didn't mean it, you know that. You don't need to tell me what it was or even ask, I wouldn't do any of that to you. Not you. Understand?"
"What about everyone else?" The question had slipped out just as she thought it. After that she couldn't seem to stop the downward spiral her mind had taken to. "You've imperiused people before. You did it to Alastor during fourth year and who knows how many people before that, possibly after it." She raised her gaze slowly, keeping the mug close to her, like a shield. "Do you really expect me to believe you didn't do anything to push the Ministry to let you out when you won't even tell me the truth?"
"I can't-"
"And how could you do that to another person after being put through it yourself? You told me what your father did to you with that curse. That he kept you under it for years. You have to know more than anyone else what it feels like to have no control over anything, to just... not have a choice. I'm not saying I could ever understand it myself, but after everything you went through with that curse you would put someone else under it? Because it does matter, you can't just do that. You can't make someone else suffer, no matter if it's for a couple seconds or a year. There's no reason to. It's..." she shook her head, looking back to her tea.
"It's part of my job. That's what a Death Eater does, Hermione. Alastor was a part of that. After getting away from my father and finding Voldemort he requested that I brought Harry to him. Do you really think I would have been able to if Alastor wasn't under the curse? Even if I didn't do it someone else would have to keep him from telling Dumbledore about what was going on. How I wasn't who I said I was."
She could feel his fingers on her cheek, running up along her cheekbone. "Did he also tell you to torture Remus? To kill an entire family?" Hermione asked, unsure if she should be leaning away from his touch or towards it. She couldn't make her body move, she couldn't decide what was best.
"I already told you before. He walked into a meeting location, lurked around afterward, trying to figure out what we were up to. If it was the Order do you think they would just have a member stand around and do nothing to stop a Death Eater from figuring out their secrets?" She didn't miss the fact that he completely avoided her other question.
Why would he comment on it though? That had been her fault. She shouldn't have mentioned it, but it kept gnawing at her mind, not leaving her alone. The fact that he didn't sound the least bit sorry about everything he was telling her about right now... it made the bite worse. "They wouldn't have gone as far as you did. You probably would have killed him if he didn't get away from you, or tortured him like how..." Her mouth closed. Like how you tortured me for information. She didn't say the words, she couldn't. If she did she would be left wondering how she had forgotten all of that when she was the one on top of him.
He must have known what her unspoken words were anyway. "If I had known... I wouldn't have. If I could go back I wouldn't have done that. None of it." The silence between them stretched before he spoke again, "But you can't expect me to not do my duty. I'm one of his faithful, a part of the inner circle-"
"Why?"
"Excuse me?"
Hermione raised her head slowly, trying to ignore the feel of his fingers running through her hair. "Why are you one of his faithful? How could you... What about me?" She hated the sob that almost broke through the single word. "My friends, my family. Everyone I care about, they're all against your Lord but you would put him before me? You would torture Remus again." She knew that without a doubt. He hadn't said otherwise, gave no indication that what he did to the werewolf was wrong. "Blood traitors, muggles, everything your Lord hates is someone I love and you don't even care."
His hand dropped from her and she felt a rush of relief run through her. "You can't ask me to do something you won't do yourself, Hermione."
The words twisted inside her, sharp as a knife, faster than any spoken spell. She couldn't sit here any longer like this, not with the heavy air almost choking her. "I have class," she muttered, feeling the need to say something even as she set the still full mug down and got up from the couch.
She moved quickly, never looking his way as she got her black robe, slipped her feet into her shoes before stepping into the fireplace to have the roar of flames surround her. The green glow did nothing to sooth her. It was the color of death, the very thing he was likely to start causing the moment he left the house.
Once the flames died around her she stepped out from the hearth, brushing away the specks of ash on her robe. "Oh!" She raised her gaze to see Ginny sprawled out on the couch looking directly at her, but a second after she had jumped right up and moved forward to take Hermione's hand. "Come on. McGonagall said she needed to talk to you when you got back from wherever with Blaise." Her gut twisted hard as she followed her friend out of the common room. Simply because it never was Blaise. If she had ended up with someone at school this wouldn't have been necessary.
Her footsteps seemed extra loud on the stone when Ginny didn't say another word after starting down the stairs. It was as if she were talking a walk down a long hall to the electric chair. She had to break the silence somehow. "Was she mad?"
She could see Ginny glance at her from the corner of her eye. "Well, when Harry showed up for detention she told him that she had decided that it wasn't necessary. Though when you didn't show up she asked Harry to look for you. Of course Harry looked at the Marauder's Map and didn't see you there. Next we looked in the Room of Requirement. By then we knew you weren't at the school and told McGonagall. She mentioned Blaise was missing as well." Ginny sighed. "When she said that she didn't sound particularly happy and told us that if Harry, Ron, or me saw you when you got back to take you to her classroom so you could... talk."
At Ginny's wince she frowned. That didn't sound good. But it's not like she had a choice and she would make McGonagall see that. All she had to do was... not mention him.
Ginny had stopped at her side and Hermione looked up to see the open classroom door. 'I'll see you at breakfast then," she told her friend. Ginny just nodded before walking back down the hallway.
Hermione took a breath as if the air was filled with liquid courage and walked to the back of the classroom. She pushed the door to McGonagall's office open. "Morning, Professor. You wanted to see me?"
"Close the door behind you and take a seat, Miss Granger." She glanced up quickly to see Snape standing to the side of McGonagall's desk, the woman was currently holding a frown and a distinct air of disappointment around her, lips still sealed shut.
She closed the door softly behind her, not missing the flick of her Head of House's wand. A silencing charm. Hermione walked over to the open chair opposite of hers and sat down, hoping that her stunt didn't somehow get her into a detention that didn't just go away.
The room was quite a few more seconds as she wasn't sure what to say after coming in here. The air in the room didn't help her either. Finally there was a sigh from McGonagall. "I realize the detention I gave you and Harry was unfair but I still expected the both of you to show up and be there for when I planned to tell you that. You however were nowhere to be found. In fact, you weren't even at the school. Your planned detention may have been canceled and whether you knew of that or not you still didn't show up at the scheduled time. You planned to skip the detention all along, Miss Granger. Is that correct?"
From the look on McGonagall's face she wanted Hermione to say no. But she wanted that to be the truth, not a lie. "Yes, Professor."
There was a snort from where Snape stood. "What else did you expect, Minerva? For it all to be some big mix up? That she just happened to 'forget' about her detention?" Hermione's fingers curled into the fabric of her robe at his words.
"That's enough Severus." McGonagall spoke the words to him, but her gaze stayed on Hermione. She was quiet for awhile and the silence had begun to grate on Hermione's nerves before she said anything again. "I know you weren't with Blaise this weekend, Hermione."
She couldn't stop herself from staring at the Professor. "Wha-How?"
McGonagall frowned. "Severus requested that Blaise stay at the school last weekend because of your detention and since the two of you usually spend it together, but instead he went away just like you. At first I thought you were with him, but then Severus spoke to me yesterday. He went to find Blaise and drag the both of you back to school for not doing as either of you were told. Instead he found out that Blaise was with Daphne Greengrass. She told him you had agreed to cover for Blaise's match until she was comfortable with making the announcement herself. While it's very noble of you to have done that, it still means you were missing from the school grounds and that no one knew where you actually were. Furthermore, Blaise mentioned that the match you supposedly changed was never actually changed. Now, from what I understand Blaise was approached by you first and you both agreed to cover for each-other concerning your matches. Right?"
Hermione just nodded her head.
"Now, what I can't understand is why you left the school grounds without telling anyone where you were actually going so we could contact you. It's a requirement for when you leave the school. The only reason I haven't asked before is because Blaise usually provides the location to Severus, and with the assumption that you two were matches it was suspected that the two of you spent that time together. With that not being the case though," McGonagall paused, sighing, a hand placed on her forehead as if to drive away a headache. "I need to know where you disappear to during the weekend."
She felt like her heart was lodged in her throat, making it impossibly for her to speak. "Answer the question, Miss Granger," Snape snapped.
Hermione glanced between the two Professors, her gaze resting back on McGonagall. "I don't know."
"How do you not know?" Professor Snape sounded more like he was hissing around his teeth. "You've been there before, haven't you? Or do you actually go somewhere new each time and it's suppose to be a secret between you and your match so he can surprise you. Either tell us or you won't be going anywhere-"
McGonagall sighed once again. "There's no need for threats, Severus." She turned back to Hermione. "I just want to know for your own safety. That's why we have the rule in place. Even if you just tell me the city that would be enough until you leave again. By then I would like an address though-"
"I don't know where though. Really." Hermione insisted as her fingers started to shake from on top of her robes and she dug them in further to try and make them stay still. "It's not a city. It's in the forest so I don't have an address to give you even if I did know it." She paused, but she didn't really have a choice here. "I get there by portkey. It's the same place every time, at the same exact time. I only use the floo network when getting back. I'm sorry, but I really don't know where it is." And I wouldn't tell you even if I did know. If any of her Professors showed up or anyone else at school and Barty answered the door it would be a disaster. It's not like they got any visitors besides Narcissa and possessed wolves anyway so there was no reason for him not to answer the door.
"You get there by portkey?"
She nodded her head quickly at McGonagall's question. Her stomach twisted a moment later though. What if she asked her to hand over the portkey?
"Very well." A sigh of relief escaped her and she felt relieved when McGonagall didn't comment on the action. Though Snape looked about to when McGonagall spoke again, "I don't like it, but there's nothing to be done. However, there is still the issue of your match, Hermione. If you're not going out during the weekend to be with Blaise like you said before then I expect there to be an actual reason for you to have been skipping detention rather than some portkey taking you there at a designated time."
Hermione took a breath. This was the part of the conversation that she had prepared herself for after hearing about what Snape had done this weekend. The minutes she had gotten to do so would have to be enough. "He doesn't go to school here. I mean, he did, but not anymore. He graduated years ago, and that's why I leave during the weekends. Because of my schooling I only have to be there for two days instead of three, but the law requires that I be there or... the Ministry would say I had broken the law if I hadn't gone. I had to go. So I couldn't actually attend the detention anyway."
McGonagall was silent for a second. "Why didn't you tell me this before?"
She bit at the inside of her cheek. "Because I promised Blaise I would cover for him and his match. Neither of us were to say anything about it. So telling you would have been going against that agreement."
"What about your match?"
Hermione felt herself freeze for a moment. "I... What are you asking?"
"Apologies." McGonagall glanced down at the papers in front of her before looking back at Hermione. "What I meant was... This is the same match that you rushed off to the Ministry of Magic to change, correct?" At Hermione's nod she continued, "So, it's not as bad as you thought. Right? If you're going to some destination you don't even know of you're okay with him then? Initially you didn't come back from the Ministry the next day after you left that night. I'm just worried about you. If there's anything you want to talk to me about you can. And if he's abusing you or anything you can tell me."
"No." She straightened in her chair. "I mean, I have a counselor for anything like that and though we got off on the wrong foot we're fine now. My counselor helped me with the situation of my match. That's why I took so long at the Ministry."
"That's good to hear."
Hermione shifted slightly in her seat. "You're not going to tell anyone else are you? My friends don't know because of my agreement with Blaise."
"Aren't you going to ask her who her match is?" Snape snapped before McGonagall could say anything else. His eyes were narrowed as he looked at Hermione. "We both already know Blaise's true match. Don't you want to know her's as well?"
McGonagall glanced at Snape then back to Hermione. "I assume your reasoning for not telling anyone yet is because like Daphne you're not comfortable about saying anything?" Hermione nodded, resisting the urge to glare back at Snape. "Then I don't see any reason to hassle you over it. This marriage law was a surprise to everyone and it passed so quickly that no one had begun to get use to even the idea when the Ministry sent out those letters. I won't hold it against you if you don't want to say who it is. That's something you need to be ready for. And that's the end of the discussion, Severus." The woman had turned her head to frown at her fellow Professor when he opened his mouth to sneer again.
"Is it okay if I go down for breakfast now?" It seemed over, and now all she wanted was to get out of there.
"You may go."
The moment McGonagall gave her leave she was out of the room, heading back to the Gryffindor Commons to grab her bag before going down to the Great Hall. She located her friends quickly to sit beside them in an empty seat they must have saved. Hermione had gotten here a bit later than usual so the room held the entirety of the school except for a few stragglers.
"How did it go?" Ginny asked.
"It was fine," Hermione said, before adding, "It would have gone better if Snape hadn't been there." He had actually been demanding to know the name of her match... Well, at least he wasn't one of the Death Eaters that knew about Barty. It seemed that just included the Malfoy family. If he had known the Order would know, and so would her friends. She couldn't imagine they would keep it silent if they knew either.
"Was he trying to get you in more trouble?"
"Yeah. He probably wanted me to get detention again and go to it this time as well." Hermione said, stabbing her fork through a piece of bacon.
"That greasy old bat needs to find a different hobby." Ron snapped from across the table. "He enjoys giving out detention way too much."
"Don't forget about how he loves taking house points," Harry added. "Particularly Gryffindor. He doesn't take any from his own House."
"Prejudiced git." Ron supplied just as said man walked through the door from the front of the room with McGonagall, a deep scowl on his face. Even his pointed nose seemed to twitch in distaste.
As Snape went to his chair McGonagall had moved to Dumbledore's side, muttering something into his ear. Hermione watched from the corner of her eye as she bit into her bacon. There was a deep frown on her Head of House's face and when she moved over to her own seat Dumbledore stood up, even though he must have given the morning announcement already.
There wasn't any change to his own expression as he approached the podium but then he gave his wide smile when he was standing there again. "Settle down, everyone." His voice boomed around the room as usual and it went quiet. "I would like to welcome the Minister for Magic, Rufus Scrimgeour, to this morning's feast!" The sound of the doors opening right then signaled his arrival and half the students must have looked over at the door. The other half was staring at Dumbledore, Hermione included. Surely he would have mentioned this at the beginning of the feast instead of now? Dumbledore's gaze was on the door as well as he started introducing those who must have accompanied the Minister. "I would also like to welcome Shacklebolt, Tiberius, Cuthota, and Crouch."
The bacon in her mouth tasted like ash at that last name. As she heard the footsteps coming closer her stomach twisted. She wished her table wasn't one of those in the middle of the room. At least she was sitting on the inner side so she didn't see them.
"Right, right. Thank you Dumbledore." That must have been the Minister as he passed by quickly on his way to the podium that Dumbledore was now standing by.
Hermione turned her head quickly so she was looking across the table at Ron Weasley instead of the front of the room. Her friend's face seemed to have gone as red as a tomato, but from the look on his face it wasn't out of embarrassment. He was glaring at the group still walking down the path between the tables. If she were to look toward Harry he would likely be doing the same.
The louder the footsteps got the slower they seemed to get to her. She tightened her grip on the fork, the metal threatening to cut into her skin. It was when the steps were at their slowest that she saw bits of smoke in front of her, just noticing Ginny's screwed up face a moment later. Cigarette smoke. Yet, she couldn't cough.
Calm down.
The words floated at the edge of her mind. Her grip on the fork loosened, just barely held up in the air between her fingers.
Remember, they can't mention your marriage. But, you must say something or they'll try again.
In the next second the footsteps were loud again, soon climbing up the steps to the raised platform that held the table all the Professors sat at. And, of course, the Minister and his odd little parade.
Her shoulders lowered as the smoke dissipated into the air. It was like every muscle in her body had loosened, no longer tight and strung. With a glance around the students she could see - without looking toward the podium - they didn't seem as tense as before either. More like they had just come from a relaxing massage, but their eyes said differently. Those still held fear, and others' - like Ron's - held anger.
"It's so nice to see all the hard-working students here at Hogwarts!" That was the Minister's voice again. The room was silent. Hermione didn't dare look up. She could hear a brief murmuring at the podium and she could only guess that the Minister had shared a few words with Dumbledore.
"For those of you new and old this is are new Minister for Magic, just appointed last year after Fudge resigned." It was only at Dumbledore's prompting that a few clapping hands came from the student populace. Most of it was from the Professors' table, but even that sounded forced.
It must have been enough for the Minister though. "Yes, that's very nice of you all." She couldn't see one smile from where she sat, a few of the students, like her weren't even looking at the podium. They seemed to have frozen over into statues in their seats. "I can't thank Dumbledore enough for my invitation here this morning." There was some applause at that, but then again, they liked Dumbledore. "Such charming students you have."
"Yes, they are." Dumbledore agreed, who must have been beaming to encourage his students to be on their best behavior in front of the Minister. No matter who he had just entered the room with.
"I'm sorry to have heard about the incident that happened just a few weeks ago in this very room. It is for that reason that I am here now with our former Azkaban resident. As many of you have already read in the Prophet, this man was falsely accused and imprisoned under the suspicion of being a Death Eater. It is unfortunate that we only learned the truth a few months ago and we would like to assure you that there is no reason to fear this man. He is just like you and I, law-abiding citizens of the Britain Ministry of Magic." There was a long pause.
"Could I get some ear plugs for the thunderous applause he keeps getting?" Barty. She noticed a student's eyes widen even with them looking directly at the podium.
The sound of the Minister clearing his throat was rather loud. "It is my understanding that some of you feared this man when fellow students of yours let a boggart loose in this very hall. For the younger years that may or may not know, a boggart takes the shape of something or anyone you fear the most. Apparently before horror struck this school most of you were having a rather fun time with this. It was also unfortunate when-"
"I believe they already heard this part." She had to force herself to set the fork down slowly instead of letting it clatter onto her plate, like she heard a few other utensils do.
"Yes, well, it's unfortunate that your image is tarnished in such a way. Wouldn't you think? Now, As I was saying-"
"Minister for less than a year, I bow before you. A stage will be raised and harlequins will perform on this ground where you have resigned. Pass on in silence and bear us no speeches."
A single snort of laughter came from a corner of the room. "I-What?"
"I want to leave this horrendous performance. What say you?" Barely a second later she could hear three sets of feet coming down the stairs, between her table and another, heading towards her.
You must say something or they'll try again.
The words floated through her mind once more, though she still wasn't sure where they had initially come from. Say something? Why did she have to say something? The Minister had done his speech already. Barty, one of the people she presumed to be Cuthota, and one of the other men were leaving already. What could she possibly say to make the Minister not try and use her and Barty to show that he wasn't a Death Eater? Hadn't he had enough already?
Say something.
There it was again. Those footsteps were louder now, so loud they would be passing her any second. Barty had to be in the front... "Thank you," the words slipped out just as she heard his boot fall behind her, and then continue walking down the aisle toward the door.
Something clattered on the plate across from her and she forced her eyes down to not see the expression Ron currently wore.
... *insert more dots* No, I really don't know why Barty is quoting Princess Mononoke in here.