Chapter 23
Two days passed before I could really mentally recover from the horror of what Banks had revealed. During which time I'd gone through the usual actions of training the initiates, but hadn't really been all there in spirit. Hundreds, he'd said he had hundreds of transmitters ready; and not just for communication, but for complete control. If he ever figured out how to really get the transmitters to work the way he wanted, he'd be unstoppable.
He'd have an army.
During the first few minutes I'd been unable to explain the whole situation to Dan, I'd just gone on and on about how things were wrong. Then when I'd eventually gotten my wits together, I'd decided not to give too much away. Not because I didn't trust him, but because I feared the serums Banks might subject me to.
What if he eventually created something that resembled the truth serum, only it was far more potent? So potent in fact that I'd be unable to resist it. How would I be able to lie then? All my remaining secrets would be flushed out. No, I couldn't expose Dan like that. If Randi's death hadn't finished me, then Dan's certainly would. His dying would be the final nail in my proverbial coffin.
"Just don't let Banks inject you with anything, and don't ever be alone with him," I'd warned Dan. "I can't tell you more, I don't want to put you in danger. Just promise me you'll stay away from him."
"Dude, you couldn't pay me enough to hang out with the guy," Dan had said, trying to sound playful though I could tell he was edgy. "I just wish you'd explain things, I don't like all this sneaky-secret crap. I don't like not knowing what's going on."
"I know, and I'm sorry. But until I have some kind of edge to work with, I can't tell you," I'd explained. "Eventually, I'll tell you everything. But for now, just know that everyone in the compound is on the line."
Though I could tell he was frustrated, Dan had nodded and dropped the subject. I'd tried to act as normal as possible, and I thought I'd been doing a good job, but I must've been wrong.
The next day, both Wayne and Jude had mentioned during breakfast that I looked worried. During lunch Grace had pointed out that I looked like I was ready to punch someone. And during dinner Biff had said that if I didn't cheer up, he was going to sneak up on me and draw a smile on my face with permanent marker.
"You're gonna' turn that frown upside down, whether you like it or not," he'd chuckled mischievously.
"Right, and you think I'll just let you do it?" I'd snorted.
"I won't be alone," Biff had answered. "I'll have reinforcements. Right Dan?"
"Correct-o," Dan had answered, raising his cup of juice to clink against Biff's; as if he'd just given a toast. "Creative arts are my specialty."
I'd rolled my eyes, but secretly kept a close watch on the two of them. I had no doubts that they'd keep their word if they felt like it was warranted. Now, as I excused the initiates for the day, I found myself again stewing about what devious things Banks could be planning to do.
"Are we doing that bad?" Iris asked, bringing me back from my befuddled thoughts.
"Huh?" I responded. "Bad?"
"You're grimacing," she pointed out. "Actually, you've been scowling since yesterday morning. What's up? Is it the fights? Are we not doing as well as you thought we'd do?"
"Oh, no, of course not. You're all doing good, actually, more than that. You're all great," I said, unable to hide the edge of worry in my voice.
I couldn't forget, I just couldn't. I remembered Banks' previous serum, the one that had controlled my body momentarily. What if he was somehow able to combine the two? He'd hear our thoughts, and control our every movement. It was all wrong. I turned and began to make my way towards the door.
"Wow, don't sound so enthusiastic," Iris said sarcastically as she kept up with me. "The amount of passion in your voice is overwhelming. Sage, stop, I might get a big head from all your compliments."
"Sorry, I'm just sort of preoccupied," I said; putting in the effort to sound more cheerful and upbeat. "I'm being honest though, you're all doing amazingly well. I'm proud, and I can see why you guys are separated from the transfer initiates."
"Thanks," Iris grinned. "So, are you going to go to the party tonight?"
"No," I said immediately.
The previous day Biff and Marko had already hunted me down and demanded my presence in, what they predicted would be; the best party of the year. I'd turned them down as equally fast. I wasn't, nor in the near future would I be, in the correct mindset to party. There were bigger things to worry about.
"Why not?" she asked; quirking up a brow in surprise. "Practically everyone else is going. Even me, and you know I hate parties."
"I'm busy," I said quickly. "But I'm sure you'll have fun."
"Did someone say fun?" Dan's voice echoed from the end of the hallway. He jogged over and playfully rumpled Iris's hair. "You must be talking about me then."
"Actually, no. I was talking to Sage about the party tonight," Iris answered as she swatted his hand away. "He says he's not going."
"What?" Dan frowned; I hadn't broken the news to him yesterday. "But Finn, Biff, and Jude are going," he pouted, "also Marko, Grace, and–"
"I really don't feel like it," I interrupted.
"–and Wayne, and Felix, and Shiloh," Iris said, continuing the list. She paused, and I could've sworn she and Dan shared a conspiratorial look. "And Zane… and Ally."
My body betrayed me; as soon as I heard Ally's name I faltered.
"Ally's going?" I asked, my voice sounding nauseatingly hopeful.
Damn my inability to hide my emotions. Why was it so much harder when Ally was involved? It was like everything I felt was right at the surface; a flashing billboard that broadcasted my every thought. I turned slowly, and just barely caught the grin Iris and Dan shared. What was that about?
"Yep, she's coming," Iris nodded; looking somewhat smug at my reaction. "At first she didn't want to go either, but I can promise that you'll see her there."
"Wait, what are you trying to imply?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest defensively. "If I did go to the party, it wouldn't be just to see one person."
"When did I ever say that?" Iris answered in a tone that sounded much too innocent. "I was simply mentioning that Ally would be there."
"With Zane," I quickly pointed out.
"It's more of a group thing," Iris said even faster; like she'd expected my excuse ahead of time. "Anyway, you should come. Maybe it'll help lighten your mood."
"Yeah, come on Sage," Dan added, trying to make his eyes wider and more pleading. "One party won't kill you."
I looked from Iris to Dan, and then back, they were both blinking up at me with big doe-eyes. Admittedly, I was only resisting because I didn't want to seem too eager. I stood still a while longer, trying to look like I was really debating the whole situation, but then let myself relax. I grinned, and then nodded only once.
Both Iris and Dan had given a quick series of whoops, and then shared a congratulatory high-five. I figured it wasn't that big of a deal, I'd said I'd go, but apparently Dan thought I'd chicken out because for the remainder of the day he didn't really leave me alone. It wasn't until night had rolled around that he momentarily excused himself to go change into what he called, his party duds.
He'd returned quickly, letting himself into my apartment without knocking, and then started tossing articles of clothing at me.
"Change, you don't smell like beer anymore, but you still dress like a hobo," he said, pitching a jacket I recognized as his own at me. "And that hair, can you do something to it?"
"Something, like what?" I asked after I'd changed into a fresh shirt. I picked up his jacket and shrugged it on. "You make it sound like it's some kind of dangerous animal."
"Don't even try comparing your hair to an animal," I heard him call out as he made his way to the kitchen. "Animals are cute, and they keep themselves groomed without having to have someone remind them,"
"This party is going to be lame," I complained. "Maybe I shouldn't go."
"Blasphemy! I won't hear it," he responded. I could hear my cupboards opening and closing, and then the refrigerator. "Hey, was Grace in here? There's actually stuff to eat."
"Yeah," I said as I made my way to the bathroom and peered at my reflection. I still hadn't fixed the mirror, so I simply ran a hand through my hair and called it good. "Are you just going to raid my fridge, or are we going?"
Dan walked out from behind the counter to appraise me, and in his hand I could see that he'd taken a hotdog bun and placed a peeled banana in it. Then he'd coated the creation with a handful of fruit-loops cereal, a smear of peanut butter, and a swirl of some kind of chocolate spread.
"Uh, what is that?" I asked with mild aversion.
"A culinary delicacy," he said merrily as he took a big bite. "You were out of actual hotdogs so I was forced to be creative. Turned out well don't you think?" I didn't answer. "Whatever, you're just jealous you didn't think of it first. Anyway, you look decent."
With Dan's seal of approval, we made our way to the Pit. Even in the dark, and from far away, it was easy to find our way to the exact location. The music was loud, and the thumping bass served as a beacon that guided us to the heart of the compound. It was crowded, claustrophobically-so, and for an instant I almost considered turning around to go back to the safety of my room.
There were bodies everywhere, pressed close enough that it made movement somewhat difficult. Once or twice, I actually had to roughly shoulder past a group of people just to be able to advance towards the refreshments table. The party had been going on for a while, and so by now a lot of the people were drunk enough that they didn't care how they were dancing around or acting.
Once we'd made it to the table, Dan grabbed a plate and began to load up on snacks. Apparently, his banana-hotdog creation hadn't been very filling. There was a lot of beer and other liquors available, but to my surprise, even the slightest whiff of them had me feeling nauseous. How had I ever drunk the stuff without retching?
To keep myself busy I also picked at the food, less fixedly than Dan though. I grabbed a soda, knowing fully well that the punch on the table would probably be spiked. After a minute, I sighed and then settled near one of the walls to look for a familiar face. Well, not a familiar face exactly, but a specific one; Ally.
I couldn't find her, but after only a few seconds Dan and I were joined by Finn and his boys. They all clapped me on the back vigorously; each asking what miracle had taken place that'd managed to entice me to come. I didn't have a good answer, but I don't think they cared; mostly they just seemed happy to see me participating in real life activities.
Moments later Grace showed up, Marko tailing her, and then Wayne and Felix. Still, there was no sign of Iris or Ally. Not even Zane. Had they really decided to come to the party, or had I just been fooled into coming for no good reason?
"Sage, hey!" I heard a female voice call out to me. I turned, but before I'd known it, Vera and Jade were standing in front of me.
"Hey tiger, glad to see you here," Jade said as she reached over and took my cup. She sipped at it, then wrinkled her nose and promptly returned it. "That's soda."
"I know," I said, trying to hide the fact that I wasn't keen on sharing drinks with random people. "I do have taste buds and I poured it myself."
She laughed. "Why though? You do know there's plenty of beer right?"
Vera, who'd been chatting with Dan, turned around and momentarily gave me a stern look. I remembered how harshly she'd judged me before, when I had told her about my drinking problem. Did she think I'd started up that bad habit again?
"Not really into beer anymore," I said, looking first at Jade then at Vera.
Vera seemed to visibly relax, but Jade immediately pouted. It took me a moment, because it was dark and there were so many pulsing lights, but I suddenly realized that there was a girl behind the pair. She was short, really short actually, and she had white-blonde hair that was tied into two pigtails.
"Who's that?" I asked, nodding at the girl.
"Huh? Oh, that's Mel," Vera said. She turned and placed her hand on the girl's shoulder; she'd been distracted by the lights and wasn't paying attention when I'd waved at her. "Mel, hey, this is Sage!" Vera said, more loudly than I thought was necessary; the music wasn't that overpowering.
"There's a cage?" Mel said, cocking her head to the side. "Where?"
"No cage, Sage!" Vera repeated. She turned to me, and then nodded at the girl. "Umm, I don't know if you've heard about Banks' punishments, but…"
Oh, so this was one of his victims. I felt my mouth drop open slightly, and again I felt the previous revulsion I'd felt when I'd heard of what Banks had done. This girl, she'd probably never hear the same way again. It was a loathsome act.
"I'm Sage!" I introduced myself, sticking out my hand to shake.
"Mel," the girl answered. She took my hand, but almost immediately Jade had pushed her way back so that she was again in front of me.
"Great, great, we all know each other now. So, can we do some dancing or what?" Jade said, already hooking her arm around mine.
"Umm," I faltered.
I didn't really want to dance; it was already a great feat for me to be in such a tightly packed place, it would only get worse out on the dance floor where people were nearly glued to each other. Claustrophobia aside, I also wasn't enthused at the idea of dancing with Jade. She was nice, but I couldn't help but feel that if I agreed she'd take it as a sign of something more.
"That sounds great," I heard Marko say behind me. I turned and saw that he was talking to Grace. "Ms. Willows, you're a lucky girl. I'm bestowing you with the noble right to dance with me."
"And what the hell gave you the impression that I'd agree to that?" Grace harrumphed; crossing her arms indignantly.
"You know you want to," Marko grinned roguishly. Then, before Grace could further protest, he'd yanked her out and disappeared into the crowd.
Immediately, the rest of the people in our group began to pair off until the only ones left were; Jade, Vera, Mel, Felix, Dan, and me. Felix was the first to act. He bravely introduced himself to Vera, and then asked her out onto the floor. She agreed, but only after shooting Jade and me a quick look of disapproval. Dan was next.
"Hey!" He said loudly, gently tugging on one of Mel's pigtails when she didn't seem to notice he was talking to her. "Wanna' dance?"
"Huh?" She tilted her head. "Umm, no. I don't need pants," she answered as she ran her hands along her skirt.
"No, not pants, dance!" Dan repeated. "You know, boogie down, cut a rug, hoof it, get our rock n' roll on, do the twist, drop some heat to the beat, or even –dare I say it– bust a move?"
She looked at him blankly.
"Jeez, I'm sorry," he chuckled good-naturedly. He then pointed at her, "You!" he pointed back at himself, "Me!" he proceeded to do a sort of shimmy. "Dance!" he pointed at the dance floor, "Yes?"
"Oh!" She exclaimed with a wide smile. "Dance? Yes, I'd love to!"
He laughed, and then nodded and took her hand. Before he was gone though, he jerked his head in Jade's direction and gave me a significant look that said; don't be an ass. I swallowed nervously; it was just Jade and me. Well, one dance couldn't hurt.
"You're not going to make me do that are you?" Jade teased; she still hadn't released my arm. "Because I suck at charades."
"Hah, no, of course not," I said, adding a smile to be polite. "I'm not very good though, just a warning."
"Not a problem, I'll show you," she said, giving me an oddly suggestive wink.
Before long we were out amongst the mob of people. I'd momentarily thought that perhaps it wouldn't be so bad, had hoped my mind was exaggerating, but I'd been wrong. Why anyone would want to do this was beyond me. All squished up together, like sardines in a can, all of us breathing the same air; it was slowly getting to me. Alcohol, sweat, and smog from one of the machines nearby, was all I could smell. I desperately wanted to leave.
Jade didn't seem to notice my internal crisis, and instead kept writhing and swaying, pressing up close to me. Too close, she was invading my space, taking my air. She ran one hand along my chest and up to my neck; there her fingers slowly began to wind into my hair. Her other hand was on my back, and I could distinctly feel when her fingers began to curl like claws.
I frowned a little; both at the growing feeling of being trapped in the mass of people, and also at the awkward position I'd found myself with Jade. We were supposed to be dancing, not practically having sex on the dance floor. I swallowed loudly, and instinctively began to look for the nearest exit. I had to get out. With so many people all in the same place, how was it even possible for there to be enough oxygen to sustain all of us?
For one horrible instant, I nearly shoved Jade away and broke out into a dead sprint; running, that's all that was on my mind. I needed to take a real breath of fresh air. I needed to be outside where there weren't so many people pressing up against me. I needed to– I blinked, realizing that my thoughts were getting more incoherent as the seconds passed.
"I'm going to get a drink!" I told Jade, shouting over the clash of music so she'd hear me. "I'm thirsty!"
"Drink?" she repeated, but before she could say more, I'd already extricated myself from her grasp and was shoving towards the table; it was only slightly less crowded, but it was enough for me to gather my wits.
Claustrophobia, what a bitch; I thought grimly.
Once I reached the table, I shot a glower at a couple of people that were crowding the area, not even eating –just chatting. My expression must've looked more threatening than I'd meant it to be, because not even two seconds had passed before they'd left in a rush. I don't know how long I stood there, leaning against one of the rock walls while I tried to catch my breath, but it was apparently long enough for Dan to come find me.
He stopped a few feet away, and then gave me a sympathetic smile; he knew how I felt about confined spaces. I'd had the problem since I was a little kid. I suspect it all started when one day, Mara and I had been playing hide-and-seek and I'd accidentally gotten locked in our home's small linen closet. The door had jammed, Mara hadn't been able to open it, and I'd been trapped there until our mom and dad had come home.
"Hey, Jade said you ran off," Dan said as he slowly ambled to my side.
"I didn't run off," I retorted defensively. "I walked away at a perfectly rational pace."
"So you sprinted?" Dan chuckled, easily sidestepping me when I tried to sock him in the arm. "I kid, but seriously, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," I said. "Where's Mel? Did you scare her off with your dancing?"
"Pshh, please. More like I amazed the crap out of her," he said as he stuck out a pointed finger in a disco-like move.
I laughed; Dan, even as a kid, had always had a certain ability to diffuse tense situations. Even in the worst of times, he could always lighten the mood.
"Actually, Mel left with Jade and Vera to go to the restroom," Dan said. He and I chuckled and shared a look as we shook our heads in unison. "Still don't get that. Why do chicks always go to the bathroom together?"
"My theory is that it's some sort of deep-rooted herding behavior," Iris said. Dan and I turned to her and she gave us a wry smile. "That, or they're talking smack about you two."
"Huh, and here I always assumed you guys went in there to work on top-secret conspiracies. One's involving code words like makeup, lip-gloss, and hair spray," Dan said with a cheesy grin.
Iris laughed, but it wasn't her usual laugh; it had a dejected undertone, as if she'd just gone through a tough time. I frowned and nudged her with my elbow.
"You okay?" I asked. "You don't look too good."
"I'm fine," Iris lied, and Dan and I winced simultaneously at the obviousness of her fib.
"Hey, come on. Tell us," I insisted worriedly.
"I don't want to talk about it," Iris said, shrugging. She sighed, and Dan and I shared a look that said; we're her friends, it's our duty to cheer her up.
"Well if you don't want to talk, then you should go out and dance," I suggested. "I think Felix is out there somewhere."
"I don't dance," Iris stated.
"What? Everyone can dance," Dan chimed in.
"Not me," Iris shook her head firmly.
"Hmm, Iris, could you put your left leg out?" I suddenly asked.
"What?" she raised her eyebrow in confusion.
"Could you put your left leg out?" I repeated. She looked at me as if I were a lunatic, but eventually she complied and stuck her leg out.
"Now can you put it back in?" Dan said; he'd caught on to what I was trying to do. Iris frowned, but pulled her leg back in.
"Now put it back out," I chuckled, "and shake it all about."
Slowly but surely, Iris's sulky expression brightened until she was grinning.
"Now do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around," Dan said, giving a little spin as he said the words.
"Because that's what it's all about," I finished, flashing her some jazz hands.
"You clowns," Iris laughed. Dan and I grinned, and after a moment she sighed and shrugged. "Okay, you want to know what's wrong? I had an argument with Zane."
"Did he hurt you?" Dan asked, suddenly sounding fierce.
"No," Iris shook her head. "Zane was just really drunk and we had a fight about Emily. He said it was my fault that she fell off of the chasm and died," she scowled, "and I got mad and left. That was a bad move on my part though, I shouldn't have left Ally with him. Not in the state he was in."
"You left Ally with Zane?" I repeated, my stomach suddenly in knots. "And he was drunk?" I whipped my head around and began to search the crowd. "Where are they?"
Iris turned and began to point, but then faltered and dropped her arm.
"They're not there," she frowned. "They left."