Dragon in the Lions' Den
#25 Grief, Love and All It's TrappingsNotes: Thanks again to every one who voted for me for the Dramione Awards. I'm in the final round!! If you get a chance, please vote! Here's the link http://community. For those of you patiently waiting for our favorite duo to get together, I can honestly say it will be within the next 5 chapters or less… I know when it will happen, but I don't have those chapters written yet. Thanks for being patient!
Thanks to my readers and a special thanks to my reviewers. Daisy, thanks for your reviews, I love them! Pokeystar, share your plot suspicions and I'll let you know if they are right. Marie – thanks for your insight and consideration!!
In his dream, a warm body crept up next to him; soft and small, a delicate smell of vanilla with an undertone of some flower he couldn't identify. The sent alone called out the identity of his bed mate as if it were whispered softly in his ear… Hermione. He eased into the soft curves of her body, his breathing quieting as he relaxed with his arms around her. Dream or not, Draco planned on taking advantage of the warmth his partner provided, if only to cure his aching soul; he craved what she had to give.
When he woke the next evening, body hurting from unknown injuries, the warmth from his dream was gone. Surprisingly, the lingering scent of vanilla remained and while his open eyes took in an unfamiliar room, a friendly face was found next to his bed. Draco couldn't help the smile that graced his lips upon seeing Hermione, her small from curled up in a chair, eyes closed in slumber. As he looked at her, the smile faltered; her face was pale and there were dark smudges under her eyes. Her brow was furrowed, even as she rested.
As if feeling his eyes on her, Hermione slowly opened her eyes to meet stormy grey. A thousand emotions cross her face and he is only able to catch a few: relief, sadness, and another emotion that he can't quite name.
"Oh Drake! You're awake..." she whispered, and he found himself engulfed in a tangle of arms and hair, vanilla playing on his nose. "I thought I lost you, too."
Her statement was so soft that he almost missed it, and Draco figured that she was thinking of events at the ministry the year earlier. He couldn't have been more wrong.
"Mia," he said softly. "What happened? What time is it?"
She pulled back abruptly as if just remembering something. AS she turned to leave, he grabbed her hand and she looked back at him.
"Mia, what's wrong?" he asked, starting to get worried with her strange reaction.
"I need to get some potions for you, Drake. You've been sleeping for nearly 24 hours and you're still not fully healed," she explained, not meeting his eyes.
"24 hours?" he hissed, "are you going to tell me what happened yesterday, Granger?"
"Let me get your potions and I'll explain as much as I can, okay Malfoy?" she snapped. Not waiting for his answer, she left the room, soon to be replaced by Remus Lupin.
"Draco, glad to see you're awake," the elder wizard said. "We were worried about you. How do you feel?"
"Like I've been run over by a pack of wild hippogriffs and left in the dark," he grumbled angrily.
Remus chuckled, "I suppose that could be a side effect of the spell Albus used on you."
"You think?" the younger man sneered. "That doesn't explain the wounds on my head or arms, though, does it?"
Remus began to speak but was interrupted when Hermione entered the room, arms laden with potions, a wet cloth, and some snacks. Healer mode kicked in, she began her assessment of her patient while shoving potions as her. This merely angered said patient, who shoved her away.
"Damn it, Granger. I don't need a sodding nurse!" Draco bellowed. "I need some answers."
If she was shocked by his outburst, she didn't show it. Remus, however, watched the pair with great interest. He knew that they had a long, volatile history together, and were both very stubborn.
Shoving the young man back into his pillows, she waved her hand and silently petrified the blond, taking him by surprise.
"Now listen here, Malfoy," she snarled in a quiet voice. "You will let me assess your injuries and you will allow me to treat you properly. You will eat, and when I determine you to be fit enough, Remus and I will explain things to you to the best of our knowledge. Got it?"
The blond seethed at her. 'The gall she had, he thought, petrifying him.' In his anger, he forgot he had the ability to break the spell.
"You dare…" he began threateningly.
"You're damned right I dare," she spat right back. "Contrary to popular belief, I care about you and I care about your well being; I'll see to it that you're healthy enough to meet my expectations."
The werewolf didn't miss the look on Draco's face as she confessed, albeit angrily, her concern for him. Draco quickly schooled his expression and it was at once unreadable. The elder wizard couldn't help but chuckle inwardly as the two interacted. They matched well together; far better than Hermione and Ron. It was a shame that years of brain-washing for Draco and years of ridicule and humiliation for Hermione that would prevent them from accepting their true compatibility despite his fatherly love for Hermione; he knew she was a difficult girl at her worst; demanding, bossy, fearless. She was the perfect counter for Draco's arrogant pureblooded pigheadedness, and their intelligence was evenly matched. Such a shame, he thought.
"Fine," he said through clenched teeth, hating to appear weak.
"Fine," she snarled in agreement and continued her work.
After she gave him the appropriate potions and they all shared a bit to eat, Draco's grey eyes bore into hers and silently demanded answers.
"What do you remember?" Hermione asked, acquiescing to their agreement.
"I remember everything on Saturday up until a point; I remember your message about Severus and then looking for him. Then missing Dumbledore at our first meeting point and finally catching up with him at the second. When he confronted me, I don't know… it was so strange. Off," Draco closed his eyes, trying to put his thoughts into understandable words. "You see, we had a dialogue loosely planned, something for the Death Eater's benefit; the Headmaster felt it was needed to make the illusions of my death more believable, knowing it would get back to my father and to Voldemort. Instead of waiting for the Death Eaters, Dumbledore starting rambling about knowing what I was up to this term." Draco's jaw clenched and his eyes opened, their cold gaze hard. "At first I was angry, I mean, of course he knew what I was up to… it was his bloody idea! Truth be told, he got me pretty riled up. I had absolutely no idea what he was doing. The more he spoke, the more I realized that, and this is crazy, but it seemed like he was doing it for the benefit of someone else, but given the fact that we were alone…" his hand ran through his blond locks in frustration, and with his head bowed, he missed the look exchanged between Hermione and Remus.
"You weren't alone," Hermione said softly, and Draco's head snapped up and he glared at her.
"What?"
"You weren't alone," she repeated.
"How the hell do you know"" he growled.
"Because Professor Dumbledore took Harry with him to look for the Horcrux, and he told us everything that happened up on the tower, Draco," she replied sadly.
"Potter?" he sneered. "Your precious Potter wasn't up there."
"Albus asked him to stay under his invisibility cloak, and rendered him frozen so Harry would not be able to interfere," explained Remus and Draco's anger eased a bit. "I suppose he meant for Harry to be a witness, so validate what the Death Eaters would say later. What do you remember after that?"
"Dumbledore and I continued our conversation, if you could call it that, and then the Death Eaters arrived. The Headmaster exchanged words with the Carrow's, maybe others, too, but I'm not sure… they were all pushing for me to kill him as they were aware of the task Voldemort had given me. Severus arrived and then Dumbledore hit me with the curse," Draco told them. "I don't remember anything after that."
The blond looked at his two companions, waiting to be informed of the events he'd missed. Remus looked to Hermione, who took a deep and somewhat ragged breath and explained what they knew.
"After you were hit by Dumbledore's cures, everyone assumed you were dead, including Harry, and the Death Eaters went crazy. Severus was able to distract them and keep them from harming the Headmaster. He was also pushed to kill Dumbledore by Alecto Carrow and apparently, after some pleading from Dumbledore, Sev…" she stopped, unable to go on.
"Sev what, Hermione?" Draco asked, suddenly worried about the abrupt change in her posture and tone.
"Killed him," she whispered.
"That's not possible," hissed Draco, "Severus would never do that! Not to his mentor. You know how strongly he feels about that crazy old wizard! Potter lied!!"
"I assure you, Draco," Remus said sharply, "Harry didn't lie. He provided the memory for the Order to view. Severus did in fact use the killing curse on Albus Dumbledore."
"I don't believe you," Draco breathed, as if trying to convince himself Potter's memory had been false. "Why? Why would he do something like that?" Draco tried to get out of bed. "Where is the grimy bat? We need to know why."
"Sit down, Drake," Hermione commanded sadly. "Please."
If possible, the look on Hermione's face was even graver, and he reluctantly sat down. Evidently there was more to hear.
"Severus carried you out of the tower and near Hogsmeade where he got caught in a battle between Aurors and Death Eaters. He contacted me through your medallion, saying only that you were injured and that there were Death Eaters present." Hermione paused and took a deep breath, trying to gather the courage to give Draco the news she knew he'd find particularly devastating. "I tired to heal him when I arrived, but he insisted that we go to the safe house. I used the portkey to get us there." She stopped, her voice breaking with restrained emotion. "Oh Drake, he died in my arms. I did everything I could. I tried so hard."
Remus gathers Hermione in his arms to comfort the young witch.
"No, no, he didn't die. He can't die," Draco whispered, grey eyes bright with tears. The young man looked broken and lost; the two people he'd counted on to see him through the coming year were gone. His Godfather; his mentor… his friend, Severus Snape was gone. The emptiness inside of him was overwhelming, and he feared he'd get lost in it. Draco turned away from them, facing the wall.
"Can you give us some time, Remus?" Hermione asked her former professor, who nodded and left the room, putting a gentle, reassuring hand on Draco's shoulder before he left.
When the door closed, she moved closer to him, wanting to hug and comfort him and knowing that she needed the same from him. Hermione was surprised when he pulled away from her.
"Drake?" she whispered, putting her hand on his shoulder, echoing Remus' earlier actions.
Draco pulled away yet again. Hermione was taken aback at the venom in his words as he spoke.
"Just leave, Granger," he spat angrily, voice muffled. "I don't need you."
Her already mangled heart, barely holding together by a thread, unraveled at his unexpected dismissal. Without saying a word, she left the room, hoping to find shelter from the pain she felt; Harry had his own grief and Draco… if she didn't know any better, she just might think he blamed her for Severus' death. Her own grief teetered on the edge, just waiting for the moment to overtake her; yet she battled on, building another wall to hold the flood waters back. Her shelters were unavailable, and it appeared that they were in greater need than she was. Her grief could wait.
Hermione sat on the porch of the safe house, enjoying a moments of solitude as she gathered her emotions within her heart. Her moment was interrupted by Remus, who sat beside her on the old swing, his weight easily overtaking hers. They sat in contemplative silence, listening to the sounds of nature.
"I don't think he meant anything-"Remus started only to be cut off.
"What did you hear?" she asked pointedly. "Did you hear him kick me out of his room? Did you hear the spite and venom in his voice?" Her tone was hard, but not accusing.
"Full moon is a few days away," he said simply.
With that statement, she knew that he'd heard everything, heard the words that hurt her to her core.
"I'm going back to Hogwarts to check on Harry. At least I know I'll be wanted there. I'll be back later." She explained. Hermione went inside to grab a few things. Pulling out two potion phials, she handed them to Remus. "He needs these in an hour. You can put them in a glass of pumpkin juice if you'd like, I'm sure he'd appreciate it since they taste dreadful. The blue one is a sleeping draught so don't be surprised if it knocks him out."
"Hermione, you really need to…" Remus began.
Ignoring the inevitable request from him to take care of herself, Hermione interrupted once again. "He won't wake up until the morning, but I'll check on him when I get back," and she moved to walk away.
"Damn it, Hermione!" Remus exclaimed, and she looked back at him. She couldn't help but notice the concerned look on his face.
"I'm fine, Remus, really," she said, trying to reassure him. Lying was so much easier… "Thank you for your concern. I'm fine."
Before Remus could say anything else, Hermione apparated away. H was very worried about the young woman and he hoped she knew what she was doing. He feared for her, hoping she allowed herself time to grieve before collapsing under the stress.
Several minutes later, Remus entered Draco's room quietly, the young man on the bed and still facing the wall.
"Draco?" I have a potion you need to take. It will help with the pain," Remus explained, putting the potion and a glass on the table next to the bed. "I'll be here overnight, but will be gone most of the day tomorrow. I'll have my medallion on if you need me."
The elder wizard put his hand on the young man's shoulder and gave it a tentative squeeze. Not getting any response, his senses telling him Draco was indeed awake, he left the room. When he was alone, Draco rolled over and stared at the items on the table. Sitting up, he grabbed the phial and drank the pain potion, shuddering at the terrible taste. The pumpkin juice helped to wash away the bitter brew and shortly after he put the glass on the table, he drifted off to a peaceful, albeit drug induced, slumber.
Hermione apparated into the prefect's bathroom once again, fortunately empty at this hour, and went straight to her room to change. When she arrived at her bed, she found two envelopes address to her on the pillow. The first was sealed with a scarlet phoenix… Professor Dumbledore came to mind immediately. Opening the envelope she held back her tears as she read the parchment.
Ms. Granger-
If you are reading this letter, something terrible must have occurred to lead to my untimely demise. Fear not, my child, for all is not lost, for I have left our affairs in worthy hands. I trust you, Hermione, to follow through with what has been set in motion.
Harry will want to leave school in order to pursue certain goals- you must not let this happen. He would be better served at Hogwarts; he can complete his education and training while remaining with his friends and building the army. More important, Ms. Granger, you can do your research with the additional resources that will be provided, including those in my personal library.
Drake, Remus, and Minerva will stand with you and Harry and Ron will be by your side. Find your strength in those you love.
Until we meet again,
Albus Dumbledore
P.S. Do not forget the promise you made to me… you're task will help sway the tides.
Hermione tensed as she read the last line, her warm amber eyes blazing blue for a moment. As if she needed to be reminded of the despicable 'task' her illustrious Headmaster gifted her with. The thought brought bile to her mouth and she fought vigorously to keep down her paltry dinner.
In order to distract herself (and her stomach), Hermione opened the second envelope, sealed merely with green wax and a scripted letter 'S'.
"Sev..." she breathed.
The young woman took a deep breath and brushed back tears as she opened the envelope, taking care to keep the seal intact. Hermione's greatest remorse as that moment was that she never got a chance to tell Severus Snape exactly how much she appreciated and admired him; this letter was all she had left of a man who continually challenged her to be a better, stronger person. Hermione closed her eyes as the faint smell of licorice, smoke and parchment hit her nose, scents that reminded her of the snarky ex potions professor.
My dear little know-it-all,
It saddens me to write this, but in the likely event of my death, there are certain things you need to be made aware of.
It has taken me several years to track down, but I have recently been privy to the location of a bauble an old school cohort of mine possessed. The ancient piece has been stashed near a ring of stone, a 7 o' clock tree. Beware of it, as it does have a few flaws. Purity of heart will set the dark free.
Hermione re-read Snape's cryptic message, and understood what the dark wizard was trying to convey… he'd located a horcrux. She just needed to figure out which one and where… now, to finish the letter.
I leave to you access to my personal library and potions lab, as well as the books from my family home. It is my hope that you can use this knowledge to better carry out your task. My solicitor will contact you in Paris to settle my estate.
Please take care of Draco for me, I wish so much that he were my own…
Be strong, little own, and know that you are one of the best students I've ever taught. I am proud of you.
I will watch you from beyond,
Severus Snape
Hermione could no longer hold back her tears and allowed herself a moment to say goodbye to the man who had helped her so much over the last few months. How she wished she had more time with him, more chances to learn from him as he inspired her so much. 'Enough' she told herself, 'this is not the time to mourn… we have things to do and a horcrux to find!' Wiping away the last traces of her tears, she once again looked over the letter from Severus. The young witch wanted to bring both letters to Harry, especially Dumbledore's as it implored Harry, though her, to stay in school. Any new of how to find a horcrux would be received happily. She also wished to show Severus' letter, but, obviously, that wouldn't go over very well, and she'd be hard pressed to explain why the man accused of murdering their Headmaster left her any type of correspondence let a lone items that required he meet with his solicitor. Unfortunately, both letters were out of the question, but….on a separate piece of paper, Hermione jotted down notes from both letters and made the writing appear to be that of Albus Dumbledore's. Putting it into a book she recently borrowed from the Headmaster himself on advanced charms; she put together a story to take to her friends. They would certainly believe that the note was something she found in the book, making it look as if their Headmaster left it as a tip to help them and their mission.
Grabbing the tome, she ran out of her room and into the boy's dorm where she found Harry and Ron sitting quietly. The pair looked up from their respective beds when she burst into the room. Noting the look on her face, Harry abruptly stood to meet her.
"Hermione, what's going on?"
"I have a lead!" she gushed excitedly, holding up the book.
"What are you on about?" asked Ron, but Harry immediately understood.
"How did you get that? Where…?" Harry questioned.
Dumbledore's death was only days before so she needed to tread lightly.
"A week ago Professor Dumbledore loaned me a book on charms, to help for next year and my training this summer," Hermione began, gauging Harry's reaction before she went on. Her raven haired friend blanched slightly by seemed interested none the less. "I didn't have a chance to look at it until tonight, when I wanted some light reading before I went to bed."
Ron snorted at Hermione's interpretation of 'light reading'.
"Anyway… when I opened the book, a piece of parchment fell out. At first, it really doesn't make much sense, but read it. Really look at it, and you'll see the hidden meaning," she whispered.
Hermione showed the piece of parchment to Harry, who perused it; eyes alight when he looked back at her.
"'A bauble from a student', 'purity of heart will set it free'," he recited. "Do you really think it could be?"
"It makes sense, given the way it was written and who it's from" she replied. "Now we just need to figure out the 'ring of stones'. I have some ideas, though."
"Stonehenge?" Ron offered and amber and emerald eyes turned to him. "What? I do read on occasion. Plus, Dad has always been nutters about those stones and their origin."
This earned him a laugh from his friends.
"Yes, Ron, Stonehenge was on my 'short list' if you will," she agreed with a smile. "It seems so obvious, though. I think we should take some time to look into it."
"I'm glad we have a lead, Hermione, but I just don't feel up to any research tonight," Harry replied wearily. The young man looked sad, sitting with slumped shoulders. He looked defeated.
Putting her small hand on Harry's larger one, "I think we can take some time away from research. At least for a week." Her smile was sweet and her tone playful, while still conveying her sadness. Harry gave her a weak smile but it was enough. "Where's Ginny?"
Harry's green eyes lit up, "Kitchens. Ron was hungry and she wanted some snacks."
"Big surprise there," Hermione mumbled, causing Ron's ears to turn bright red.
"Did I hear someone mention my name?" the gregarious youngest Weasley entered the room and met Hermione's amber eyes before locking onto her boyfriend's familiar green orbs. "Hermione!"
Ginny gave her friend a hug as Hermione stood to relinquish her position by Harry's side to the younger woman.
"Hey Gin," she smiled at the red-head as they passed around some butter beer. The quartet sat quietly on Harry's bed, Ron giving up his place at Harry's other side for Hermione while taking the end of the bed by Hermione's feet. It seemed two pairs of siblings sat on the bed, two equal couples to the outside eye. As time passed, Ginny fell asleep against her boyfriend, who slowly drifted off himself. Removing empty bottles from their hands, Hermione placed a gently kiss on Harry's forehead and pulled Ron from his stupor. At first, Ron was appalled that Harry and Ginny were left in bed together.
"Get over it, Ronald! They are fully clothes and are asleep," Hermione rolled her eyes in annoyance. Ron might be blind to the connection between his sister and best friend, but Hermione was not. The dark haired man's face as relaxed as he held the young woman, and Hermione was loathe to take that away from the man she loved like a brother. "Look, I'll even put up wards to keep them from putting up any type of silencing or disillusionment spells around his bed, okay?"
Ron nodded and Hermione used her want to put up complicated wards for Ron's comfort. Personally, she wished Harry and Ginny every happiness and she hoped the younger woman would help Harry through this heartbreak of losing Dumbledore where Hormone could not.
Ron headed to his bed, grabbing Hermione's hand as he went. Merely months ago, she would have jumped at the opportunity to be with Ron. Despite how sweet and attractive she found him, Hermione knew she no longer harbored feelings like that for her dear friend.
"Hermione," Ron entreated softly, pulling her close. She smiled, and put her hand to his familiar face.
"Good night, Ronald," she whispered.
"Mione?" he asked, and she understood the question in his voice.
She kissed his soft cheek and pulled back, "I'll always love you, Ron, but I think you and I are meant to be friends."
Ron's honest face fell a bit, but he managed a smile for her none the less. "I just figure it out, and you tell me we should be friends. Merlin, Hermione, will we ever be in the same place together?"
"Someday," she lied, sadly watching his smile grow. She hated to give him false hope, but hated the guilt more. Their hug was sweet, but not nearly as warming as another young man in her life. She left the boys dorm to head to the prefects' bathroom, reminding herself the whole time of the task at hand.
When she arrived at her room in the safe house, she nearly keeled over in exhaustion. She wanted to check on Draco, however, before she went to bed and quietly padded to his room. The young blond man was soundly sleeping; aided by the dreamless sleep potion she had Remus give him in his pumpkin juice. She hated that they parted on such poor terms, but she knew Draco needed his space.
"I'm sorry, Draco, that Severus died," she whispered, voice cracking with emotion. "I tried everything I could to save him. I know you loved him. I did, too, in my own way. Maybe not fore the same reasons, but I feel the loss just as powerfully. Perhaps only because of not knowing what he could have been if Voldemort were gone, and Severus was able to live a free life. If it's possible, it's even worse with you shutting me out. I hope you can forgive me."
She didn't notice the shadow standing just outside the door, the silent presence hearing every passionate and pained word from the petite witch. He watched as she caressed the young man's pale face with a touch that conveyed and intimacy beyond friendship. Only he saw her place a soft kiss on Draco's cheek, heard the hissing sound of a whisper he believed to be a prayer to the Gods. When she turned to leave the room, he saw the exhaustion and fathomless sorrow she hid so well during the day plainly on her lovely face. His heart broke for her as she walked to her room in a daze, never noticing the piercing blue eyes of her professor, the resident werewolf, sad in their own right.
A short time later, Remus Lupin had finished his report to Hogwarts new Headmistress. As he passed Hermione's room on the way to the guest room he'd made his own, he was stopped by the sound of huge, racking sobs. The wizard knocked on her door, and the sobs subsided briefly for her to mutter her consent to enter. The sight in front of him as he opened the door filled him with great sorrow. The young witch who he so admired for her strength and courage lay broken on her bed, several letters surrounding her prostrate body, her hand fisted as if something was being held.
"Hermione?" he asked softly, "Love, are you alright?" He half expected her to tell him yes, knowing the girl hated to appear weak.
"N-no," she sobbed. Hermione did not look at him but thrust her hand out, now open, displaying the hidden object within. "He…left this for me, on my pillow. The bloody git."
Her words were sad, and instead of harsh, they were said in a loving tone. Remus stepped forward, taking a seat on the bed. The open hand revealing a dark, luminescent stone attached to a silky black ribbon. The stone was rough and unfinished yet even in its darkness the beauty of the stone could not be denied. He was suddenly struck with awe.
"Is that..?" he asked.
"Opalized obsidian," she whispered. "Extremely rare. The stone has properties that are used in potions and Dark Arts Defense. It is powerful for both Light and Dark magic; most famously used in potions for painful deaths and love potions, but is perhaps most well known for…"
She was interrupted by Remus, "Healing draughts and the Draught of Death Undone."
Remus picked up the stone and read the inscription: Beauty can be found even in the darkest times.
"Lily gave this to him."
Hermione turned her head abruptly. "How? How did you know?"
"She and I were the only Gryffindors in N.E.W.T potions our seventh year, Severus being the only Slytherin among a few Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs." He explained to tearful eyes. "We worked together on several potions early on and Slughorn thought we worked too well together to be separated and made us a permanent team. Surprisingly and quietly, we became quite close, and Lily told me that she and Severus had been friends for a long time. She was devastated when he became a Death Eater, and they had a falling out. He treated her so poorly around his housemates but she never gave up on him. Potions seemed to help them mend the rift. Lily gave the necklace to him the day we graduated."
"He said I reminded him of her, of Lily," she said, holding Severus' letter in her hands, the second one she'd received from him tonight. "He didn't say it directly, but I think this necklace helped him during his dark times."
The pair was silent for a moment as Remus watched the young witch.
"Mi," he said, using Harry's nickname for her, "you don't have to go through this alone, cub."
Hermione looked into his compassionate eyes, "Harry's distraught over losing Dumbledore, Ron's well… Ron," she broke off, but Remus finished her thought.
"And Draco is blaming the one person in his life he needs the most."
She nodded.
"You've got me, cub, you know that," he replied, hating to see her like this.
"Oh, Remus, I don't want to put this on you, with the full moon approaching, your new obligations with the Order… and things with Tonks," she said quietly, moved by his words.
Remus stiffened at the mention of the young Auror. "Don't worry about me, Mi; helping you would be the least stressful thing in my life at the moment."
Hermione didn't miss the look in the werewolf's eyes that spoke of doubt and confusion. "Remus, about Tonks…" she started only to be cut off.
"Not tonight, please?" he pleaded, taking in her concerned expression. The girl often spent more time worried about others than herself. "Before you leave, perhaps. I certainly could use someone to talk to who will actually just listen impartially."
She smiled softly as she wiped the last tears from her eyes. "Mrs. Weasley isn't much for 'listening' and being objective, is she?"
Her smile was bittersweet and he remembered back to her fourth year and the terrible things that were written about Hermione by Rita Skeeter; on some level, Remus knew Molly still harbored ill feelings towards the young witch for something that was blasphemously false.
"You are wise beyond your years, cub," he sighed. "But even the old at heart need their rest. Tomorrow will be a trying day for us all, so go to sleep. Harry will need all the strength he can get."
Tomorrow. Dumbledore's funeral and Hermione had yet to let Draco know she'd be gone for the next few days. She nodded solemnly and as he leaned in to kiss her on the forehead, she was struck by the fatherly gesture. Remus would make a great dad, having so much love to give. The current laws prevented it, which made it all the more important to her to get the war over with and begin changing their world for the better.
"Good night, Remus," she called softly.
"Sleep well, my cub," he replied and closed the door behind him as he left.
--- --- --- --- ---
Hermione woke the next morning, eyes burning from lack of sleep and abundance of tears shed the night before. The funeral was later in the morning, and she needed to be back at Hogwarts early before anyone figured out she wasn't in her room. She was exhausted, spending as much time as she could with her friends and tending to Draco's medical needs all while trying to keep from being missed by anyone. It was easy to forget herself when she was busy caring for others. Taking a deep breath, Hermione decided to shower quickly and then dressed in formal, black robes for the event she dreaded.
If Hermione woke that morning to feelings of dread and sorrow, her emotions paled in comparison to those that fought for dominance in the troubled mind of Draco Malfoy: Anger, loss, and rage. The very stirrings caused him to remember his childhood and some of the events that shaped who he was… and they were not pleasant memories. It wasn't easy growing up in a household run with an iron fist by Lucius Malfoy, Death Eater and right hand of Voldemort. Draco learned quiet early to hide his feelings, for to show any emotions in front of Lucius meant punishment. Unfortunately for Draco, his father's idea of punishment was taken directly from Voldemort himself.
Draco was just six when he experienced the cruciatus curse for the fist time, a rather mild version, but still one of the unforgivables. Lucius had caught Draco mourning over the death of a kitten that his mother had given him. Furious at finding his young son and only heir frolic with the animal like a common child, he'd yelled at his son, telling him that his behavior was far beneath his stature and would not be tolerated. Lucius had kicked the baby cat into the wall, a terribly fatal blow to the small animal. The boy had cried out and received a hard smack across the face, and was then banished to his room for the remainder of the weekend. The young Draco was devastated that his own father, the man he looked up to, loved, and feared, would do something so terrible to his pet, an innocent cat. It was days later that Lucius wandered by his son's room, planning on taking the boy out for some rigorous Quidditch practice, and found the boy crying. He stalked into the room, grabbing the boy by the scruff of his neck and brought the boy up to look into his father's icy grey eyes.
"Do not tell me you are slobbering over that flea bag, Draco!" his father bellowed. Sneering in disgust at his pathetic offspring, he tossed the boy to the ground. Draco cried out in pain, looking up at his father with tear filled eyes. "I'll give you something to cry about boy!" Pointing his wand at his son, Lucius whispered, "Crucio."
Draco writhed on the ground in pain, screams falling from his mouth. It curse was lifted nearly as soon as it was cast, but the damage was done. The little boy, in so much pain that he couldn't make a sound, looked up at his beloved father, emotions swimming in his eyes. He wished for his mother, but unfortunately for Draco, Narcissa Malfoy was in Paris with Violet Parkinson shopping.
"For the Gods sakes, boy, you're acting like a Weasley! I never want to see you sniveling like that again, Draco. You are my son, Malfoy, and a Pureblood and you will behave as such. I will not abide by seeing you act like a common ragamuffin, balling like a baby over a stupid animal," Lucius snarled. "Pick yourself up off the floor, boy. Clean yourself off and make yourself presentable to your mother. She will be back in time for dinner."
Lucius turned from the room, slamming the door behind him, leaving a stunned little boy in pain. Draco tried to heal his wound, but he was too young to do even the simplest of healing spells. The more his body hurt the more emptiness and sorrow the boy felt. Soon, sorrow became bewilderment, as the small child could not understand how his father could do such things to him. Bewilderment became rage, and the boy felt a strong desire to last out at someone, anyone, and unfortunately it Draco's favorite house elf, Dobby, bore the brunt of the boy's anger. He had always wanted to be like his father, and now he was well on his way. At the tender age of six years old, although he didn't realize it until much later, Draco had been introduced to the dark and dangerous world his father reveled in.
As he grew, his father's manner of punishment only grew in its creativity and harshness. Draco's protective reaction to take those emotions his father deemed undesirable and transfer them into rage became the norm for the young man and he found himself full of rage and lashing out quite often. It was the only acceptable way he knew to deal with his feelings. That the greatest factor in his outburst and subsequent cursing of Hermione earlier in the school term. He had been so overwhelmed by the emotions generated by his situation, the rage became overwhelming and he had to react.
Draco was now well aware of how he reacted when he became inundated with emotions he didn't know how to deal with... It was only because of Severus Snape that he knew, and the young wizard had been learning to refocus the rage he felt in to action; dueling was a perfect outlet. When Lucius 'trained' his son, he did a rather thorough job. It was a slow process, and it had just taken several steps backwards as Draco's anchor was no longer available for him. When he woke that morning, alone, the familiar feeling of being out of control was stronger that it had been in a long time, and he recognized the rage building up inside of him. It all stemmed from losing Severus, for that void in Draco's heart would be ever present. He was angry that he wasn't able to be there for him, wasn't able to say goodbye. He blamed all of this, irrationally, on Hermione. He felt twinges of abandonment, Severus left him behind, and Hermione wasn't there with him when he needed her… conveniently ignoring the fact that it was he who pushed her away the night before. With rage swirling around him, he went in search of the kitchen, looking for something to fill the emptiness inside.
Hermione heard something in the kitchen and headed down there with her cloak in hand. Draco looked up, dark circles still under his eyes, face more pale than normal. He took in her dress and his face got hard and his grey eyes were icy.
"Where are you going?" he asked, anger in his voice.
"The funeral," she replied. Draco flinched at the word.
"When will you be back," he demanded.
"I don't know. A few days I guess," she confessed. "Long enough to make sure Harry's alright."
He sneered at the mention of Potter. His anger flared, the feelings of loss, abandonment and rage fighting for dominance. Yet another emotion, far too close to jealousy joined the fray.
"It's always about Potter, isn't it?" he snarled. "Precious Scarface would fall apart without his friends around to support him. It's not like he's the only one who lost someone important to them."
"No shit, Draco?" she shot back, tears filling her amber eyes. "I know you're hurting. So am I. Severus meant a lot to you, and he meant a great deal to me as well. So did Dumbledore."
Draco knew she was right, but refused to admit it. "Potter calls and you come running," he said accusingly.
"Harry's been my best friend since we were First Years, Malfoy. We have always gotten through things together," she told him hotly. "Harry needs me. I don't know why I need to defend my actions to you!"
"Yes, I know how 'Harry needs' you, Hermione," he said tauntingly, knowing he'd he below the belt on that one when her face fell and turned red in embarrassment.
"You bastard!" she screamed through her tears at him. "I don't know why I bother with you. I told you that in confidence and you have the balls to throw it in my face. Bloody prick."
With a pop, she was gone.
"I need you, too," he said softly, knowing that she wasn't there.
000 000 000 000 000
The funeral was beautiful and moving, but Hermione was terribly worried about Harry. He refused to return to the Burrow, instead abruptly aparating to Grimmauld Street and locked himself away in his room. Hermione felt torn between Harry and going back to repair things with Draco. She knew the blond young man was suffering as much as Harry was, and his hurtful words were coming from his pain. Ron pleaded with her, as did Ginny, who informed them through her tears that Harry had broken up with her, the reason being her safety. The youngest Weasley was mad at the boy she loved, and while she wished she could be there for him, she, too, needed her space. So it was left to Hermione to see to their raven haired friend, and she reluctantly apparated to Harry's home to lend him some support. She found him alone in his room, quietly sobbing. Hermione did the only thing she knew to do for him, as words would do nothing to quell the strong feeling of loss. Shrugging of her mourning robes, she changed into some of Harry's clothes to get more comfortable, noting he had done the same thing, and she crawled into bed next to him. Without a sound, she wrapped herself around her distraught friend.
She woke the next morning wearing only Harry's t-shirt, with a warm body next to her. The arms and scent were undeniably Harry, and it soothed her to her core. Deep inside, however, she felt a pang that could only be guilt, knowing that she'd given Harry more than just emotional support the previous evening. Pushing those feelings aside, she snuggled against him and kissed his shoulder affectionately.
"Harry," she whispered. His eyes fluttered, emerald orbs red but bright.
"Hey, Mi," he said sheepishly, while pulling her tight, taking in her comforting smell. "Sorry about last night. I know you didn't come over…"
"Don't be, Harry," she interrupted, knowing what he was thinking. Sometime in the middle of the night Harry turned to her and what started out as innocent embraces ended up in them sleeping together, something he'd initiated. "It was something we both needed."
"But Ginny…"
"I know you love her. Honestly, Harry, I have no idea why you broke up with the girl in the first place – although I'm pretty sure Ron wouldn't approve if it were her here with you now instead of me," she said.
"I doubt he'd feel much better about you're being here," he replied.
"I love you… this, I don't know, thing between us is nice, but it's just a way for us to get through the grief."
He nodded, "You're amazing, Mi, to give me such an intimate piece of yourself."
"I was your first, too, Harry, if you remember. I don't think I would have wanted to be with anyone else," she admitted. "Last night was much better than the last time. Have you been practicing?"
Harry turned bright pink,"Unlike some blokes, I don't kiss and tell."
"I'll take that as a yes… and I won't mention anything to Ron," she teased the blushing Harry. She pulled back, brushing the hair from his eyes. "I've got to go, Harry. Everyone will be here soon, and I wouldn't do to have them catch us like this. Plus, I don't want to lose Gin's trust, in either of us, and this certainly would do that spectacularly."
"But!" Harry protested.
"No. Listen to me, Harry. Dumbledore always said the one thing you have over Voldemort is love. LOVE, Harry!" she pushed him, making him look her in the eyes. "You're in love with the girl, Harry. Ginny is in no more danger being your girlfriend than she is by just being a Weasley. Don't you see that? It's not your heart you need to protect, it's your mind."
Harry looked at her, his green eyes full of hope for a moment.
"You need her, Harry. Let me help you protect the love you have for her," she offered. "If I can help you protect your mind, will you let her love you? Will you let yourself love her?"
Hermione's eyes were full of tears. As much as she wanted to be with Harry this summer to help him heal, her tasks and training would not allow it. Gods love Ron, but he had the emotional maturity of a five year old sometimes. Ginny was the only one she trusted to help Harry, and he'd turned away from her in a noble effort to save her life. It pained Hermione to see either of her friends denying the love they felt.
"Snape couldn't do it mi, what makes you think you can?" Harry asked. It wasn't harsh, but it seemed he wasn't willing to give himself any hope.
"Because I've done it, Harry. I can teach you what I know." She confessed, "How I kept Snape out."
Harry's eyes got big. "Snape? What the hell are you talking about?"
"There's a lot I can't tell you, I wish I could. But this is something I can tell you about that can help you. Part of the reason you never progressed with Snape is the mutual animosity you held for each other. You and I don't have that… Just trust me."
Hermione spent the next twenty minutes dressing and explaining her philosophy about Occlumency and Legillimency to Harry. He seemed to understand completely, and on the several attempts she made to enter his mind, he was able to block her easily. Feeling something to be happy about for the first time in days, he promised to work on his newly developed skills.
"I won't see you for a few weeks," he said sadly, pulling her in for a tight embrace. "Ron and I'll be hunting horcruxes…"
"And I'll be training for my own task at Auror training," she finished his thought. She kissed his lips softly, full of emotion and affection. "Be careful, Harry Potter. I'll leave my address with you and you know how to get in touch with me anywhere I'll be. If you and Ron find yourselves in Paris before you actually join me…"
"We'll find you, Mi," he said, kissing her temple.
"You better. Let me know how the first round of searching goes, and I'll join you as soon as I can," she whispered. Harry noticed that she seemed a bit anxious to leave and he wondered if she was trying to keep Ron from seeing them together. Harry hoped at some point that his best mates would realize the affection they had and finally get together.
"Do you fancy someone, Hermione?" he asked.
"Yes, but I don't think he can get past our differences for us to be together," she replied honestly.
"Is it Ron?" he asked hopefully.
"No, not Ron," she answered. "Give my best to Gin."
And she was gone.
000 000 000 000 000
She found herself in front of Dumbledore's cottage, their safe house, and walked in, slumping into a chair at the kitchen table. Hermione sat there for an unlimited amount of time, sobbing quietly into her hands.
"Did you get your precious Potty situated?" a sneering voice asked.
Hermione didn't look up, "Can we not do this now, Draco, please?"
Part of him hurt terribly, seeing her in such obvious pain. He wanted nothing more than to be able to sweep her up in his arms and give her the comfort she was looking for. Unfortunately, the spoiled, jealous, spiteful boy in him wouldn't allow his pride to stoop so low, and desired to strike out at her. To hurt her like he was hurting. It didn't matter that it wasn't her fault; he just felt the uncontrollable need to lash out. And she provided the perfect target. Instead of using his wand, Draco used something far more dangerous and powerful… words.
"Life can move on now that Harry Bloody Potter has been seen to by his friends," his deep voice was clipped in anger.
"Do you think you're the only one who's hurting right now, Draco?" she yelled at him through her tears, standing up. "We all lost people we loved!"
"Not all of us were fortunate enough to get the comfort we needed, provided by the Gryffindor princess," he snarled, "unlike the golden boy."
Hermione didn't know why she missed it before, but it suddenly dawned on her, no matter how ridiculous it sounded. "You're jealous! Gods above, Draco Malfoy is jealous."
"Malfoy's don't get jealous, especially regarding anything about the boy-who-lived and his mudblood friend," he snapped, angry that she'd gotten close to his real emotions. He blanched when he saw a flicker of pain in her eyes.
"You're jealous that I went to the funeral with Harry," she said coldly. "Even thought I came back sooner that I'd planned, just to be with you."
His heart soared for a moment, that she would cut short her time with Potter to be with him made part of him brighten. He moved to wrap his arms around her but the green monster within was still too strong and he held his ground.
"Please," he snorted, "as if I'd ever care what you did."
"Whatever, Malfoy," she muttered. "I can't do this. I'm just too tired to sit here and argue with you anymore." Hermione turned to go to the room she'd claimed as hers at the safe house.
"Tired? Stay up late last night giving your pal some physical comfort?" he said sarcastically. Hermione flinched slightly at the accusation and Draco pushed on. "Did you sleep with him?"
Hermione said nothing and he took her silence as an affirmative.
"You did!" he bellowed angrily. His heart broke but he wasn't willing to admit it to her, let alone himself. Nor did he want to address the strange feelings plaguing his heart. "I always knew you were Potter's whore! Was Weasley upset, too? Did you shag him as well? No wonder those two keep you around."
She turned to look at him, her face deathly pale with tears streaming down her face. She was shaking with hanger. Instead of stopping, he kept at it until he crossed the line.
"I'm in mourning, too, Hermione," he snarled seductively, lust in his eyes as he started to disrobe, unbuttoning his shirt. "I'm sure a comfort shag from the Golden girl of the 'trio' is just what I need. I doubt your friends will mind sharing."
She stared at him and the look on her face ripped out his heart. Any hope he had of a relationship with her was gone, he'd gone past something that could be healed between them. And he couldn't blame her at all.
Hermione walked up to him and gave him a healthy slap.
"You're a fucking son of a bitch, Draco Malfoy! How dare you! You're jealous and mourning the loss of someone close to you and you take it all out on me. This is how you treat me," she yelled and slapped him again. His lip was now bleeding. "I don't sleep around. Not that it is any of your business, but I've only slept with one person, unlike your slutty, Slytherin slag self. I don't need this, and I don't need you."
Hermione strode off angrily to her room and was back within a few minutes. Draco had slumped to the floor and was surprised when a peace of parchment struck him. He looked up, and caught her walking out the door.
"Happy Birthday, you fucking bastard," and she apparated away.
Draco grabbed the parchment in surprise that she'd remembered his birthday, even with everything going on and felt a twinge of guilt. He nearly sobbed in relief when he recognized the familiar script of the page. 'Mother' he thought.
"Merlin," he breathed out loud, agonizing over how a letter from his mother got into Hermione's hands. Draco stood abruptly and walked to the fireplace, grabbing handful of floo powder. "Remus Lupin!"
Within seconds, the tired face of Remus Lupin came through the fire.
"What's going on Drake?" the older wizard asked, using his new name. "You do understand how dangerous this is?"
Ignoring Lupin's scolding, he held out the letter from his mother. "What is this? Where did it come from?" he demanded angrily, still reeling from his row with Hermione.
"It's a letter from your mother, Drake. Didn't Hermione explain?" Lupin walked into the room, looking for the young woman. "Where is Hermione?"
"She's gone."
"What?! Where?"
"I don't know. We had a row," explained Draco.
"What happened?" Remus asked in an annoyed voice.
"I said something I shouldn't have. I didn't think before I opened my mouth," he mumbled.
"Well," Remus said expectantly, "what did you say?"
"I called her," Draco began, hanging his head. "..Potter's whore."
"You called her what!?" the werewolf yelled.
"Potter's whore," he replied very softly.
"What would ever possess to say such a thing to that girl, Draco?" Remus Lupin was angry. If Harry Potter was like a son, then by extension, Hermione was like a daughter. He loved her dearly… her bright mind, her honest spirit and strong heart. After the deaths of Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape, he found himself profoundly protective of the young woman. His other charge had just thrown a terrible insult at two children he cared for, and despite the blond's obvious remorse, something needed to be done. "She went out of her way, at great risk to herself to get that letter for you. Did you know that? Did you even bother to find out how she got it before you insulted her integrity? You're an ungrateful prat."
"What would possess me? SHE SLEPT WITH POTTER!" Draco yelled back. "Twice! It seems like every time Harry's in mourning, she fells sorry for him and shags the pathetic bastard."
Lupin looked shocked at this revelation and flushed. He certainly needed to talk to Harry and Hermione to see if there was any basis for this news. Given Draco's outrage, he figured it was true.
Draco went on; mumbling to himself, but Remus caught it all. "I can't believe she'd do that, again… she said it was a one time thin. Potter's not the only one who's hurting you know, stupid bint."
"How did you know..?" Remus asked, now starting to get a clear idea as to why Draco would say such terrible thing to a girl he'd recently considered a friend.
"We were yelling at each other, and in the middle of it I kind of asked her if she'd slept with Potter. When she didn't answer me… she didn't have to because I saw it in her eyes. So I called her a whore," Draco stopped, voice dripping with anger. "I asked her if Weasley was around and suggested she'd given him a comfort shag as well. And I guess… I suggested that I was in need as well."
"You didn't," Remus said softly, appalled at the young man's behavior.
Draco hung his head again, "Oh, I did, believe me, I did."
Remus shook his head. It was so obvious yet it seemed Draco was either blind or too stubborn to admit he'd fallen for the girl. He was jealous, thinking that Harry had Hermione's heart. He couldn't have been more wrong. Deciding not to scold him too much, as it appeared the boy was ashamed enough as it was, Remus figured he'd try to show Draco the truth of the situation – Hermione cared for him as well.
"You need to find a way to fix this, but I'd give her a day to cool down at least," Remus suggested. "Look, Draco, I can't say that I understand much about what went on between Harry and Hermione as this is the first I've heard of it. I do know that she was rather distraught when she arrived for the funeral yesterday. She didn't say it in so many words, and she didn't have to… I could smell it on her, she felt terrible having to leave you behind to be with Harry. Knowing that you were mourning too was tearing her apart. Hermione has been running herself ragged between her friends and the Order, and caring for you after Albus and Severus' deaths."
"She cared for me? The whole time?" Draco asked incredulously.
"She insisted, wouldn't let anyone else do it. She only left your side to sleep, but I know she slept in the chair next to you at least two nights," Remus explained.
"Oh…" the young wizard said shamefully.
"Hermione wanted to try and make amends," Lupin started, only to be interrupted by Draco's sad voice.
"She came to apologize but I started that argument, too."
Remus ignored this, knowing he now had Draco's attention, "She wanted to do something special for you, felling bad for missing your birthday so she went to see your mother. Just so you'd know that she was ok… 'To ease his heart' she said." Remus paused to watch the reaction of his words. Draco paled and shame painted his face. "I actually think seeing Narcissa and talking with her made both of them feel better. When she brought back the letter, Hermione was glowing with happiness. She really couldn't wait to give it to you. She knew it would make the perfect birthday present."
Remus watched the young man gather his thoughts and a myriad of emotions found their home on his face. When Draco finally looked him in the eye, Remus nearly drew back from the overwhelming emotion emanating from him.
"She went to see my mother for me?" Draco's eyes were bright with tears.
To say that Remus was shocked with this expression of emotion was a severe understatement. He'd witnessed little more than anger, rage, arrogance and smugness from the young man since he'd known him. This was truly a new experience.
"Yes. Quite honestly, she hasn't done anything but think about you and everyone else these last few days. She hasn't taken anytime for her self to mourn properly and I'm starting to worry about her. She's given so much of herself and had gotten nothing but anger, grief and accusations in return," Remus said sharply. 'Nibble on that nugget, Draco,' thought the werewolf tartly.
"She cares about me," the blond whispered, as if forgetting that Remus was there with him. "I am such a prick. If my mother knew how poorly I've treated Hermione, I would never hear the end of it."
"Drake," Remus' voice drew him from his thoughts. Silver-blue eyes met his. "I have to get back to the Order, and you know…"
Draco rolled his eyes, "The golden boy."
"You know that I have him and the pair of you to look after," Remus snapped angrily. Then he said a little softer, "Harry's in love."
This statement struck Draco cold, his heart frozen in space, unable to speak.
"They aren't together, mostly because Harry's too stubborn to see the reality of the situation. Hermione's been working on him lately. I think he's finally coming around."
Draco became angry suddenly. He'd trust Remus Lupin as he spoke to him, and he'd gotten the impression that the man was trying to convince him that he had an honest chance with Hermione. Now, it was as if the elder wizard was getting ready to sweep that hope right away. Draco glared at him, daring him to say the words Draco dreaded to hear.
"Hermione knows that Harry will need someone who loves him to get him through the summer," Remus paused, feeling the heat of Draco's glare. He prepared to floo back to Order headquarters. "True love is amazing isn't it? I'll see Harry and Ginny married before this is all over."
Before Draco could say anything more, the werewolf was gone, back to Grimmauld Street through the floo.
Draco stood and pondered the words Lupin left behind. 'True love', 'Harry and Ginny', and 'married'. Not Harry and Hermione, but Harry and Ginny. Ginny Weasley. He seemed to recall Hermione gushing towards the end of the year about Harry's new love, and how he was sohappy. She just knew that they were 'meant to be together'. Whatever that meant. Draco also remembered that Hermione was happy, no, she was ecstatic that her friend was so fulfilled. Not jealous, as a lover ought to be. Suddenly, Draco knew deep in his heart that everything Lupin said was true.
For the first time since putting Hermione in the hospital with that bloody curse all those months ago, Draco felt complete and total shame. Shame for feeling so angry and Hermione for 'abandoning' him for Harry. Shame for treating her with such distain… out of jealousy. Jealousy. It was an emotion that he was unfamiliar with, as he'd always had more, better… best. Draco shook his head, trying to push those thoughts out of his mind, It was too much to think about, jealousy, and it only open a door he was unwilling to enter… to things he was unwilling to admit. Yet.
The letter in his hand was the perfect distraction. He caressed the parchment with trembling hands, imagining his mother's familiar scent emanating from the delicate sheet. 'Mother' he thought, and he opened the letter, lovingly and gentle.
My Dearest Draco-
I hope this letter finds you well. I apologize in advance for the short length of the note, but I am grateful none the less for the opportunity to be assured of your safety.
Ms. Granger tells me that you are well, although grieving for Severus. I'm afraid it was my selfishness in obtaining your safety that led our deaf friend down this path, but I know he would never regret his decision. He loved you, Draco, most assuredly, and he cared a great deal for this young woman visiting me. Severus wrote to me, telling some wonderful things about the two of you. I am proud of you both. It takes courage to follow your destiny and I know that if you have Hermione by your side, Draco, you cannot fail. She has great strength, that one. She is special.
I love you, my son. You are my pride and joy, and always have been. I'm grieves me deeply that your father never gave you the loved you deserved. He wasn't always that way. He loved us both once, before the lure of power pulled him away. Don't be led down the same path. Draco, you have a chance at a new beginning, and the love of a dear friend. Be the man your father never had the courage to become.
Always in my heart,
Mum
"Oh mum," Draco sobbed, placing his head in his hands. "What have I done?"
He felt pummeled by all of the emotions riding along his heart for the last several months. Anger, frustration, confusion, anguish, remorse, sadness, loss. And love. Draco loved his mother, missing her live never before. Her loving arms, the scent that soothed him all throughout his childhood that defined his mum. He grieved for his father, for the man he wished he was. For Severus, who Draco respected and admired. For Dumbledore, the crazy genius that he was. He felt sadness and remorse for Hermione, for the wrongs he laid at her feet. Gods how he wished she was there with him. He'd tell her everything in his heart, explain that not only did he cry for those he lost, but he cried for himself for not knowing love when he saw it.
Arms wrapped around him from behind, gentle and loving. Arms of a woman, he caught the scent and vanilla and flowers.
"Hermione?" he asked through his tears.
"I'm here," whispered her familiar voice full of her own tears.
He allowed her to wrap her whole body around him and soon they were a jumble of limbs, not knowing where one ended and the other began.
"Is she okay?" he asked quietly.
"Yes, Drake. She's a bit lonely, but she's more beautiful that I could have ever imagined," she replied, voice breaking.
"She likes you," he offered.
"Really? After such a brief meeting?" she asked, surprised.
"Apparently, Sev wrote about us. She knows a bit more about you than she let on," Draco confessed.
"Sly woman," Hermione replied. "She had such a poise about her, Draco. It reminded me of you."
It was a compliment, and it warmed his heart that Hermione thought of him when seeing his mum. It was such an intimate thing between them.
"Mia, I'm so sorry. I was out of place," Draco began.
"I don't want to talk about it, Drake," Hermione pleaded tearfully. She slumped against him, and broke down. It hit him in that moment like slap on the face as Remus' words came back to him… she'd been giving and giving and had yet to grieve for herself. "Please."
Draco held her close, enjoying the feeling of her in his arms once again. The pain in his heart eased a bit.
"It's okay, Mia. I'm here, I'm here for you," Draco crooned in her ear, and the sobs that she'd been holding back for days finally broke loose like a raging storm.
They sat on the kitchen floor for hours, crying together, taking comfort from the cocoon of bodies they'd created. Draco Malfoy had never cried since he'd entered Hogwarts at eleven years old and most certainly never cried in front on anyone else. Yet he felt strangely relieved when sharing this moment with Hermione. He felt at ease with her, exposing him self like this. He needed her.
When he woke the next morning he was sad to realize he was alone. Sometime in the middle of the night they had relocated to his room. He could still smell her scent all over him, around the room, and it provided a great deal of solace for him, but he still felt a loss without her nearby. He looked around the room and saw a note by the bed. He saw her familiar neat script and read it over.
D-
Thank you for last night. I need a few days alone… I hope you can understand.
See you in Paris,
H
It was simple, yet held more meaning than first glance. She went to be along, that was obvious, but he read in those few words that while she was grateful he was there for her last night and she had needed his presence, he was not forgiven. She was still quite hurt, and as far as he was concerned, she had every right to be. He'd been a selfish, self-righteous prat and took his misdirected anger (jealousy) and grief out on her. He'd have to admit this or admit this true feelings, things he was rather reluctant to delve into for fear of what they might divulge, in order to right his wrong. Since he could do neither, he was a Malfoy male, he had to come up with something that would get him out of trouble without owning up to too much of his real feelings. A difficult task where Hermione was concerned, but it could be done.
"You'll be the death of me, Granger," he mumbled affectionately as he drifted off to sleep, hugging his vanilla scented pillow close to his body.