Title: Be Your Everything
Rating: T with potential for M (Will warn if it gets to that)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything in relation to Pretty Little Liars or in relation to any pop culture references that are made in this chapter.
Summary: It's been eight years since their high school graduation, and in eight years a lot has changed. A wedding brings everyone back together, but just how much have these changes affected everyone's lives? Sequel to Better With You. A Spemily focused story with mentions of Aria, Hanna, and Alison friendships.
A/N – Hey everyone! First post (on this story) of the New Year – yayyy! So for those of you that follow me as an author, you'd know that I did an Emison one-shot about two weeks ago, and that was kind of my way to spark my writing after the holiday break. Ever since then, I've been furiously writing in order to try and get you all this update, and finally – here it is! But before we get to that, some business to take care of. First and foremost, I would like to wish a belated happy birthday to user Breyanaxo who is absolutely awesome and has been following my work from the very beginning! Wish I could have gotten this update out in time for your actual birthday, but even though I didn't, I'm still dedicating this update to you (:
Secondly, I would of course like to give a big thank you to all of my old and new favourites/follows. Seeing the amount of support that I get from everyone who reads this story is so humbling and I genuinely appreciate it all. Along with that, I would also like to thank each and every single person who reviewed my last update. You all never fail to make me laugh and smile with your feedback, and I love you all for it.
Sammyd11 – Really liking your thoughts on who's going to donate to Spencer! You could be onto something with that (; And I'm really happy that you enjoyed the dream sequence. Definitely one of my favourite things to write, ever! Thanks for reading (:
GlacialFreight – Aw, I love hearing when people re-read my work! The fact that you think it's worth more than one read genuinely makes me smile. You'll find out a little bit of insight on the donor this chapter, so I hope you enjoy it!
Chxndelier – Lmao I decided to only write cliffhangers from now on because I know you hate them and I'm spiteful like that (; lolol. Apologies in advance for the lack of Natalie in this update, because I know you're like… highkey in love with her haha. But she'll be back, I promise! Haha unfortunately though, I won't be naming their future child after you soooooo that's awks lol. I think you'll appreciate everything that goes down between Hanna/Mike/Caleb this update though. But spoiler alert, no I will not be taking away Caleb's kidneys hahaha. Anyways, glad you liked the update, fam (:
Flash31 – Aw, you're seriously too kind and I'm honoured to have my fic be one of your favourites. Thank you so much for reading.
Breyanaxo – Okay so two things here – first of all, congrats on getting all A's in your last semester; totally awesome and such a great accomplishment. And secondly, again, happy belated birthday! I know 21 is a big one in the states, so I hope you made it absolutely epic. It sucks I wasn't able to get this out last week (which believe me, I genuinely tried SO hard for), but hey, though it's a week late, this one is still for you (: As for the whole Caleb situation, well… I do apologize if after this update he's not your favourite guy (at least in my AU, lol). But I will say that you do get some insight on his disappearance. Hope you enjoy, and happy birthday once again (:
Guest – I know, I'm cruel like that lol but like lowkey I'm glad you're loving it, haha.
Guest – Slowly but surely, Spencer will recover! And really happy that you're coming around to Natalie (:
ShamikaGrandberry – You'll find out a bit about Caleb this update! And you're right, haha. I might love cliffhangers a little bit too much ;p But I don't think the way I leave this one is as much a cliffhanger as the others technically… Lol, anyways I hope you enjoy it!
HalebForever – Okaaaay so this is awkward, but any of you Haleb shippers who are looking to FanFiction for support while they're broken up in the PLLverse prooobably shouldn't be looking at this fic for that, lol, because my fic is definitely not going to be what you're looking for in that case. "Baby Mike" as you like to call him is definitely sticking around, so unfortunately if that's not something you can deal with, it's probably best you not read this update as it might upset you, like a lot. As for all of your references to the PLLverse; yes, you're correct in what I was going to say. This AU was only canon up to a certain point, and furthermore, with a time jump, character traits are likely to change. As Hanna has stated before, "People change." So, it's because I care about keeping them in character in relation to their traits in MY fic that the Haleb story arc is the way it is. Sorry if you can't accept that.
Crysty09 – Happy that you loved the dream sequence, because I genuinely enjoyed writing it! And you're so right; whoever ends up being her donor could impact the story in so many different ways – I've legitimately mapped out several different ways in which I want to take that plot, haha. Hopefully the route I choose is one in which you like.
xXhiddenbeautyXP – It won't be this update, but the one after that I believe is when you'll find out more on Natalie's history. So stay tuned for that! As for the whole moving Spencer thing, I was trying to get at them putting the back seats down in Emily's SUV in order to fit her in the car. So yes, partly in the back, partly in the trunk by technicality. Haha, there is a method to the madness, I swear! Eventually everything makes sense… Or, at least I try to make it so haha. And as for the dream sequence, well let's just say it's a sneak peek of how I see their future playing out (:
beautifuldreamerr – No need to apologize for not reviewing! Just reading my work is enough for me! Aww, I think it's kind of cool that you almost shed a tear – it's kind of a huge compliment in my mind. As for your observation on the situation is 100% accurate as well. It wasn't so much the news itself as it was the way she found out, and the fact that it was such a big secret is just a huge blow to the trust she's tried to rebuild with Emily, y'know? In regard to Natalie, I'm really happy that you along with so many others are starting to see the other side to her because it's true; there is so much more to her than what was on the surface, and I'm glad that everyone is starting to understand the layers behind her character. I tend to shy away from bringing in original characters, but I love how well received she's beginning to be. Lastly, it's totally not bad that you're on Veronica's side in this situation, haha. But at the same time, it's exactly like you said – they were trying to protect Spencer. They just didn't quite think it through. And sorry for the pregnant spemily tease, haha! Well, I'm sorry, but at the same time I'm not because I loved writing it lol. I'm glad you liked it though? ;p
Anonymous1220 – I can say that they will start to sort through their issues fairly soon here, which I'm looking forward to because writing drama gets exhausting after a while, haha. And happy that you're having sort of a change of heart toward Natalie (:
Rthansen – So happy that you chose to continue reading, even though it did seem like Emily's actions were completely unredeemable. With that being said, yes you are also right about Emily and Jason, haha. It's nearly inexcusable, but at the same time, they weren't together. I think it's more of a pride thing than anything else. Love your hunch on Jason being a possible donor (something you'll find out about during this update!) And I'm sorry that Caleb totally crashed that part, haha. Worst timing ever, right?
Jaylahwashere – Well you won't find out the FULL story, but I feel like you'll find out enough to know that their break up wasn't just something lightly taken. The italics were supposed to be a dream sequence, and yes it's what Spencer is seeing while she's unconscious. I'm glad you liked it though, and I also love that you're enjoying the different side of Natalie (:
Shurei93 – It's totally fine if you don't get a chance to review. I appreciate you following the story no matter what (: Really glad you're enjoying the fic though, and that it's become a stress reliever for you.
SA – Aw, thank you so much. Those are two things I genuinely try and focus on the most, so I'm glad it's being well received. Cheers for the compliment (:
NicCageLover23 – Aw, you're seriously so sweet and it means a lot that you sat down and read not just this fic, but also its prequel! So awesome. I'm glad it was able to fill the pll void too; trust me, I know how hard it is to fill that boredom when the show is on break, haha. Anyway, thank you for your kind words, and I hope you continue to enjoy this story.
Jeepsarmitage – Holy, you read it in one sitting?! Haha, you're a trooper, and that's totally awesome. Sorry for the cliffhanger though, lol I know I'm kind of a jerk like that sometimes. Working on it though!
Alright, so this update you'll get a peek into Hanna's story arc with Caleb, and it will give you a little bit of an idea as to why she now is the way that she is. With that being said, I would also like to state that what you're going to read isn't the complete story, but I'm sure you'll figure that out for yourself ;p As well, there isn't a whole lot of Spemily in this update as a lot of it is plot-related than anything else, but I did include a tiny bit for you all, because after a month how cruel would I be to not, right? So with that being said, there will be a flashback this update (which is how this update will start), along with another dream sequence. Both will be in italics, but I'm sure you'll all be able to easily figure out all of that on your own. Of course though if it doesn't make sense, let me know so that I can clarify (: With that being said, I really hope you all enjoy this next update, and I take full responsibility in advance for any spelling/grammatical errors! Now, without further ado…!
Chapter Nine (Part Three) – When It All Falls Down
(Flashback)
Hanna sat on the edge of her bathroom tub, tears streaming down her face, her entire body shaking as she stared down at the small blue and white stick in her hand. It was the exact same blue and white stick that matched the other three sitting on the counter in front of her – calling out her name; taunting her, almost. She'd been in that position for the past hour, but that passage of time didn't make her any less petrified. As much as she'd tried to calm herself, her breathing remained staggered. No matter what she did, she found herself struggling to allow her body and mind to accept the reality in front of her.
Plus sign.
Positive.
No matter what way she looked at it, for the fourth time in the past hour, she was staring at another stick that flashed the exact same result across its screen.
Pregnant.
Hanna found herself struggling to wrap her head around it. How could this have happened in the first place? It was inconceivable; they had always been so careful. She could feel her entire body fill with panic as her future began to change before her eyes. What was she going to do? Ever since she'd graduated, Hanna had her entire future planned out with every single possible twist and turn accounted for. Or so she thought. But this? Pregnancy? She hadn't even thought to plan for it. Frankly, she didn't think she'd ever need to at her age.
The sound of the front door to the house opening startled Hanna who jumped in her spot, and there was an instantaneous realization that came over her. It wasn't just that she hadn't planned for this; they hadn't planned for this.
"Babe?" a voice rang out, and Hanna immediately began to panic; her eyes wide with fear. "Babe, I'm home!"
She could hear Caleb's footsteps trudging along their hardwood floor, and Hanna could only assume that he was looking for her. Anxiety grew as she stood from her spot and looked around, her heart racing as the footsteps got louder and louder. He couldn't know. He wasn't allowed to know. Not yet. Hanna grabbed hold of the garbage can that sat next to the toilet, and in one quick sweep she cleared the bathroom counter of all its contents before unraveling a generous amount of toilet paper and placing it at the very top of the trash bin. She was well aware of the risk she was taking in not getting rid of the tests right away, but Hanna had no choice; it would have to do temporarily. Anything to prevent Caleb from finding out that she was pregnant – at least until she herself was able to wrap her head around it.
"So, I talked to Bilson about it, showed him my ideas for the website, and he was really impressed. He gave me the lead on the project and said that if I keep up the good work, it won't be long before I see a promotion," Caleb told Hanna, his tone filled with eagerness and excitement. The two were sat at their dining room table having dinner together, something that they had always promised to make time for regardless of the hectic schedules that both of their jobs entailed. Ever since college, it was a time they chose to set aside each and every day to ensure that no matter how busy they were throughout the day, they would always make time for each other. Looking over at his girlfriend, Caleb had expected an enthusiastic response from the girl, as she had always been his biggest supporter. But as he looked up from his dinner, all he was met with was a blank look across Hanna's face while she stared off into the distance. Eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly, Caleb reached over the table and lightly nudged the girl's arm. "Han? Are you listening?"
"Huh, what?" Hanna suddenly spoke as she shook her head ever so slightly, snapping out of her daze. She looked over to Caleb who sported a look of concern, and she couldn't help but let out a sigh while giving him an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, what'd you say, babe?"
A week had passed since Hanna had found out the news that changed her life, and in that week it became all she could think about. No matter what she did to try and take her mind off of it, Hanna's thoughts had been flooded with the idea of pregnancy. And while on the surface she could feel how terrified she was, an even bigger part of her couldn't get her mind off of what it would be like to be a mother. She had always wanted a family; the thought of marrying the love of her life and settling down was something that had always been in her vision of her future. And though it wasn't ideal for that part of her vision to start at the age of 21, Hanna knew that everything happened for a reason. Even if she was far away from being completely ready for it, Hanna was beginning to accept the idea of becoming a parent.
"I said my boss just gave me lead on a big project today, and he's hinting at a promotion, Han. This could be huge for us, babe. We're talking a massive salary increase. Were you even listening just now?" Caleb questioned, and Hanna let out a sigh, a wave of guilt rushing over her. She could tell that Caleb was becoming instantly concerned with her lack of presence in their conversation, and she felt terrible that what was supposed to be exciting news for her boyfriend had quickly become overshadowed by her unenthusiastic reaction.
"Right, sorry. That's really great, babe. Congratulations, I'm really proud of you," Hanna responded with a brief smile before looking back down at her food, and it was obvious that she was forcing the excitement behind her words. Caleb exhaled deeply as he dropped his fork and kept his eyes focused on Hanna, a look of apprehension and slight perplexity on his face.
"Okay, did I do something wrong? Forget an anniversary or something?" Caleb questioned, his eyebrows furrowed in frustration.
"What?" Hanna responded, clearly taken aback by Caleb's sudden inquisition. She looked up from her plate, the confusion obvious as she shook her head ever so slightly. "No, of course not."
"Are you sure? Because I mean you're acting really... Weird. And distant," Caleb pointed out, and as soon as he did, Hanna couldn't help but avert her gaze back down to her plate. Reaching across the dining room table, Caleb gently put his hand on Hanna's forearm, and the action caused Hanna to look up at him once again. "Is something wrong?"
"No. No, I'm fine. It's nothing," Hanna quickly replied, but her words were hardly convincing to Caleb who simply let out a sigh and gave her a look of doubt.
"Han, we've been together for what, five years or so? I know you like the back of my hand. And this whole week it's like you've been off in your own little world. Hell, for the past month you've been weird, but… This entire week especially, you've just been different. Distant," Caleb pointed out, and his observation caused Hanna to let out a deep exhale as she shifted her gaze downward, unable to maintain any eye contact with her boyfriend in that moment.
"Its nothing Caleb, seriously. It's just, uhm… It's just work stuff," Hanna muttered out in a voice so soft that if he weren't listening, Caleb wouldn't have been able to make out her words at all. And before Caleb had a chance to respond, Hanna finally looked up at her boyfriend once again, offering him the best smile that she could muster. "Its fine, babe. I'm fine. Everything is fine."
"I can tell that everything is not fine, Han," Caleb replied, his tone soft as he looked over at her and reached up, wiping away a tear that Hanna didn't even realize had slipped out. Her eyes shifted down once again as she struggled to even look at him. "You know, if it's enough to make you cry, then it's not nothing. Come on; talk to me, babe," he coaxed her as he stood up from his chair, coming around the table so that he could kneel down and try to catch her gaze. "Is someone at work bothering you? Do I need to kick someone's ass?"
"No," Hanna mumbled out with a slight chuckle that she couldn't help but let out at his words. Looking up at him, she wiped away a tear and let out a shaky breath. "No, it's not that," she reaffirmed with a sniffle. As Hanna locked eyes with Caleb once again, it was as though a floodgate of feelings overwhelmed her all at once. Excitement, nervousness, guilt, and fear had all warped into one. It was excitement at the thought of having a child with the love of her life; nervousness for what it meant for both of their futures. There was guilt for keeping such a big secret from Caleb for as long as she did. But mostly, there was fear; she was absolutely terrified of what Caleb's reaction could be. Hanna pushed her chair out from the table and stood up quickly, moving away from her boyfriend. "I'm sorry. I just need to…" her voice trailed off, not even finishing her sentence before rushing out of the room.
Caleb watched Hanna all but run out of the room, and he stood from his spot on the floor, confused as to what had just happened. Without a moment of hesitation, he immediately followed after her, quick to hear the soft cries that were now coming from their bedroom. And as he followed the sound, it led him to the doorway where he rested against its frame. His heart broke at the sight of Hanna leaned against their headboard, curled up in the fetal position. Wanting to be there for his girlfriend, Caleb gave the open door a courtesy knock in order to let Hanna know that he was there, and she glanced up, sparing him a brief look before burying her head back into her arms. Caleb took the fact that she hadn't told him to go away as her silent way of letting him know that he needed her, so he slowly walked over to his girlfriend and sat down on the bed next to her, gently wrapping his arm around her shoulder.
"What's wrong, beautiful? Talk to me; let me in," Caleb tried to coax Hanna who let out a shaky breath and turned into him, burying her face into the crook of his neck. As terrified as she was about the entire situation, being in Caleb's arms never failed to calm her. Knowing this, Caleb instantly wrapped his arms around her entirely, holding Hanna close to his chest. The two sat silently in that position until finally, Hanna's crying subsided enough for her to pull away from Caleb ever so slightly, his eyes full of concern as he looked down at her.
"I have to tell you something," Hanna finally revealed to him, and her tone of voice alone was enough to put Caleb slightly on edge. He could tell that whatever it was that had taken over his girlfriend's mind in the past week wasn't something to be taken lightly.
"Sure, of course, Han. You know you can tell me anything," Caleb offered in support, to which Hanna pulled away from him completely, letting out a sigh as she moved off of the bed and walked toward the closet they shared. As Caleb watched her movements, he too stood up from the bed, his eyes narrowed at her in confusion. He could hear her shuffling around in the closet for a few brief seconds before she came back out, now with a shoebox in her hands. "Hanna, what's—"
"You should probably sit down," Hanna interrupted, and Caleb's eyebrows rose ever so slightly. Though her words threw him off, Caleb still obliged as he nodded in agreement before turning and taking a seat on their bed. Hanna let out a shaky breath and walked toward him, her fingers clenching the shoebox that she still tightly gripped in her hands. "I know that I've been kind of distant with you this past week, and there's a reason for it," she began, exhaling deeply once again as she opened up the box and looked inside of it.
"You're having a shoe crisis?" Caleb questioned with slight confusion, his words earning him an unimpressed look from Hanna.
"It's not the shoebox itself, Caleb. It's what's inside of it," Hanna responded as she nervously spared a glare down at its contents before locking her gaze back onto him. "You were right. For the past month or so, I've been feeling a little off. And, uhm… At first, I thought I was just getting a cold or something. But then when the feeling wouldn't shake, I had a feeling that I knew what it might be."
"Is everything okay, Han? You're not…" Caleb paused, his eyebrows furrowed as he let out a nervous breath. "You're not sick, are you?"
"Well, I mean only in the morning for the next three months or so," Hanna responded, and Caleb's eyebrows only furrowed even more as he tried to process what she was trying to say. Letting out another shaky breath, Hanna stepped forward, handing Caleb the box. He looked up at her with a cocked eyebrow before taking it and placing it on his lap to look inside of. And as soon as he did, Caleb's breath caught in his throat. Reaching into the box, Caleb pulled out the item that rested on the very top: a small baby onesie, light pink in colour.
"Hanna, what is—"
"It was mine when I was a baby. My mom kept it all of these years, along with this box full of memories from when I was a child. I always thought that it was so special, the fact that she'd kept it all. And, well… I was hoping that I would be able to do the same. That we would be able to do the same," Hanna explained, and instantaneously Caleb dropped the onesie, his head snapping up in her direction, completely wide-eyed, as he finally comprehended what she was trying to say. "Caleb, I'm…" she paused, pursing her lips out of nervousness. "I'm pregnant." Silence fell between the two almost instantly as Hanna held her breath, bracing for his reaction. But nothing came. He was speechless, staring at the wall straight ahead, his fingers tightly gripping the box that sat on his lap. "Caleb? Please, say something. Anything."
It was as though time had stopped the moment Hanna had uttered the word pregnant, and Caleb felt absolutely petrified. Her words rang in his mind over and over again, and as much as he wanted to give her some type of response, he couldn't. There was no response to suffice for the instantaneous and overwhelming feeling of panic. He could feel his heart rapidly beating against his chest, and it took all of his willpower to control the shaking of his hands.
"How, uhm…" Caleb started, pausing to swallow the invisible lump in his throat. He let out a deep sigh, and finally his eyes shifted from the wall in front of him to Hanna, their eyes locking for the first time in what felt like hours. "You're positive? I mean… Do you know for sure?"
"Well I'm as positive as the four pregnancy tests that I took last week that all came out positive," Hanna replied, and once again Caleb shifted his gaze away from her, going completely silent. "That's all you're going to say?" she questioned, but the fact of the matter was, Caleb didn't know what else to say. He was at a complete loss for words. Letting out a sigh, Hanna moved to sit next to him, her hand resting gently on his forearm. "Please say something? You're starting to scare me."
"I…" Caleb's voice trailed off as he sighed once more before moving the shoebox to the bed and putting his head in his hands. "What are we going to do, Hanna? How are we supposed to do this?! We aren't ready to be parents!" In an instant, Caleb's body language completely changed, and Hanna could easily see the panic that was setting in. Standing up from his seat, Caleb began to pace, his breath staggered. "How could we have let this happen in the first place? It doesn't make sense; we're always so careful! You're on the pill, and I always wear—"
"I know. Believe me, I know. But no matter how safe we were, there was always a chance that something like this could happen," Hanna softly spoke as she stood from her own spot and stepped in front of Caleb, halting his pacing. She placed a soft hand on his cheek, gently caressing it with her thumb. "Look, I know you're probably freaking out right now – trust me; I spent the last week having my own internal freak out. But we're in this together, and as long as we're in this together, everything will be okay, right?"
"Hanna, I love you, and I love how optimistic you are; but we need to be realistic right now," Caleb spoke, lifting his own hand up to Hanna's and slowly taking it away from her face. He sighed, looking away from Hanna for a moment before looking back up at her. "Look, the reality of the matter is, we're not going to be okay. We're only 21, Hanna. 21 years old. We can't do this."
"Caleb…" Hanna began, her words getting caught in her throat. Tears filled her eyes as she fought unsuccessfully to keep them from falling. "Caleb, what are you saying?"
"I'm saying that," Caleb paused, letting out a deep exhale. He didn't want to hurt her, but for the sake of their futures, Caleb knew that he had to be the rational one of the two. "We can't keep this child, Han. We're just too young to be parents."
"I am not giving this baby up, Caleb!" Hanna replied in complete shock that her boyfriend would even think to suggest it. Instinctively, her hands moved toward her stomach, cradling it gently as she gave Caleb a firm look. "That's not an option."
"Well what else are we supposed to do? We're only 21, which means we're in absolutely no position to even think about starting a family!" Caleb snapped. To him, it was an absolute no-brainer; while he would love to eventually start a family with the blonde in the future, they were just too young. They couldn't risk being naïve in thinking they could raise a child fresh out of college. Caleb looked at Hanna who still had tears in her eyes, her hands shaking as they clutched her stomach tightly, and he let out a regretful sigh. "Look, I'm sorry for yelling, but we need to think logically here. Do you know how expensive it is to raise a child? The medical expenses alone, not to mention food, and clothing, and the fact that either we're going to have to pay for child care, or else one of us is giving up their career before it even begins. I'm sorry, but this isn't a discussion, Han. Keeping the baby just isn't an option."
"And killing or giving up the child that's inside of me is not an option either, Caleb!" Hanna shot back, her voice rising in irritation to how Caleb was reacting. Sure, she hadn't expected the most gracious reaction from him. But this? This was far from what she had ever imagined.
"You're being completely irrational, Hanna! And this is just as much my decision as it is yours," Caleb argued, running his fingers through his hair in frustration.
"No. I'm sorry, but no," Hanna firmly refuted as she shook her head in disagreement. "If you weren't prepared for the consequences of having sex, then you shouldn't have been doing it in the first place, Caleb. And newsflash? Becoming a father is one of those potential consequences!"
"You know what? You're being ridiculous right now. Your logic is—"
"No, what's ridiculous is the way that you're acting!" Hanna cut him off, and it was clear that she wasn't just mad anymore – she was absolutely furious. In her eyes, Caleb had no right to tell her whether or not she could raise her future child; she refused. "The amount of times that you've said you love me and want to be with me forever, and how you can't wait for our future so that we can build a family together; but then the second things get tough, you just immediately decide to fold in your tent? You're such a coward, you know that?!"
"How the hell does this make me a coward?!" Caleb questioned incredulously as he crossed his arms over his chest. "What, because I'm making the intelligent decision of not giving my life up to an unplanned child, I'm suddenly a coward? That's bullshit, Hanna. And you know it."
With her jaw clenched in anger, Hanna could feel the tears falling from her eyes. She was quick to wipe them away, however, as she refused to let Caleb see that his words were getting to her. Shaking her head in both disappointment and anger, Hanna let out a scoff and rolled her eyes at her boyfriend.
"You know, I'm so happy to have found out how you would really feel about having a baby with me," Hanna told him, her voice raw and coarse as she could feel the anger radiating throughout her entire body.
"That's not what I was saying, and you know it! You're completely twisting my words!" Caleb argued as he threw his hands up in frustration at Hanna's behaviour.
"Actually, no I'm not!" Hanna shot back, her voice rising with irritation. She paused, letting out a shaky breath as she tried to regain her composure. "Whether it's today, or months from now, or years from now, how do I know that there is ever going to be a convenient time for us to take that step in our relationship?" she questioned him in as calm a tone as she possibly could muster in that moment. "If all you can see it as is ruining your life, when is there going to be a point where it isn't?"
"I'm not saying that I don't want to have children with you, Hanna. I'm saying that right now, it would be a mistake," Caleb tried to explain with a shrug, but Hanna simply rolled her eyes and looked away. He was at a loss for words; it was as though nothing he could say would get through to the girl. "You know, it's not fair of you to get mad at me because I don't agree with you on bringing another life into the world. And frankly, it's ridiculous that you refuse to let me have an opinion, even though it has as much to do with me as it does you."
"We aren't talking about something inadequate, like where we're going for dinner, or whose house we should spend the holidays at," Hanna pointed out as she crossed her arms over her chest. "You're talking about me giving up something that is literally half of me. Do you realize what you're asking me to do? Do you?"
"Yeah, I do realize, Hanna! You're damn right I realize, because in case it didn't cross your mind, the other half of that child is me!" Caleb snapped. He paused, trying to find his words. "Look, Hanna. You have to understand… I'm not ready to have a kid. And neither are you! And if we have this baby, it's only going to be a disservice to them, and to ourselves. And I'm sorry, but I cannot do that. We can't do that."
"I do understand where you're coming from. But nobody is ever just ready to have a child. That's not how it works. Especially when that child is unexpected. But…" Hanna's voice trailed off, and she let out a shaky breath. Tears filled her eyes as she ran a shaky hand through her hair, her eyes locked on Caleb's. "What you have to understand is that you're now making me choose between being with you, and giving up what's supposed to be my first-born child. And frankly, I think it's unbelievable that you're even making that a decision that I have to make – especially considering the fact that you yourself were in the foster system."
And in an instant, Hanna could tell that her words struck a sharp chord in Caleb's heart. His jaw was clenched, eyes glossed over as he tried to contain his emotions. And without another word, he turned around and grabbed the first jacket that he could find in their room, throwing it on.
"What are you doing?" Hanna questioned as she watched Caleb silently move around the room, refusing to spare even a brief glance in her direction. "Caleb, where are you going?"
"Out!" Caleb snapped, and without speaking another word, he walked past her and exited the room, leaving Hanna in a completely confused, hurt, and disappointed state.
(End of flashback)
"Caleb?" Mike muttered out, but before either Hanna or Caleb could get a word in, Hanna grabbed Mike's hand from around her waist and used it to pull him away, making an effort to shove past Caleb as she did so.
"Hanna, wait up!" Caleb called out to her, but Hanna refused to listen and instead, she quickened her pace, turning the first corner she found. A rush of emotions overwhelmed her and it was as though she could feel every single type of pain that had come from their break up. The last thing she would be able to do was see or speak to Caleb Rivers.
"I need to get away from him, Mike. I can't see him. Not right now," Hanna whispered out, keeping her body close to him. She was insistent, and Mike didn't even remotely put up a fuss with her. Instead, he tightened his grip on her hand and quickened his pace along with her, silently showing Hanna that she had his support. As they turned another corner to the direction in which the elevator was, Hanna found herself quickly coming to a stop as she spotted Caleb coming out of another hallway, appearing in front of them yet again.
"Hanna, come on. I just want to talk to you," Caleb pleaded, but Hanna didn't even remotely budge from her stance as she rolled her eyes and shook her head no.
"Well I don't want to talk to you. So leave me alone," Hanna stressed once more before turning on her heel and leading both her and Mike in another direction. Once again, Caleb followed the two, only this time he managed to maneuver his way around them, stepping directly in front of Hanna and Mike to stop them in their tracks.
"Look, I'm not leaving until you talk to me," Caleb told her, and it was at that point that Mike pulled Hanna back, stepping in front of her ever so slightly, a stern look on his face. Both Caleb and Mike stared one another down for a brief moment, neither of them speaking as they sized each other up.
"Alright listen, man. She doesn't want to talk to you right now. So just back off, okay?" Mike finally spoke, his tone firm as he continued to stare Caleb down.
"Come on, Mike. I just want to talk to her," Caleb responded as he took a side step and tried to move past him. But Mike was quick to follow, stepping in front of Caleb once again and placing his free hand on Caleb's chest to stop him. Caleb cocked an eyebrow, glancing down at Mike's hand before looking back up at him with a look of disbelief. "Dude, seriously, this is none of your business, alright? It's between me and her, and—"
"And the fact that she's involved is exactly what makes it my business, dude. I'm not just going to stand here and let you harass my girlfriend when she clearly wants to be left alone," Mike stated, and upon hearing the word 'girlfriend' from his mouth, Caleb's eyes instantly widened at the sudden revelation. "Yeah. So unless I hear it from her that she actually wants to talk to you, I suggest you walk away," he reiterated. Mike turned back to Hanna who was still stood directly behind him, her hand tightly gripping his as she glared over his shoulder at Caleb for a brief moment before redirecting her attention to Mike. "Han, it's your call. Do you want to talk to him?"
Once again, Hanna looked over Mike's shoulder at Caleb who was now giving her a pleading look. She could see the fervent desperation in his eyes, but it didn't faze her in the least bit. Hanna recalled that look all too well; it was one of the last looks she'd seen from Caleb before he left for good. And if she was being completely honest, Hanna knew it was a look that would be forever ingrained in her mind.
"Let's go, Mike," Hanna finally declared, her eyes focusing on Caleb once more before looking back at Mike, just in time to see him nod in agreement. Turning back in Caleb's direction, Mike kept his eyes locked on him as they went to move past him. And as Caleb made absolutely no effort to move out of the way, both boys brushed their shoulders against one another, Mike leading Hanna past him so that the two of them could walk away.
The moment they turned the corner, Hanna immediately stopped walking, her sudden action causing Mike to come to a halt as well. He turned to see why the girl had stopped only to see Hanna fall back against the closest wall, letting out a sigh as she brought her hands up to her head, burying her face in them. Instantly, Mike could tell that Hanna was crying, and he was quick to step in front of the girl, pulling her into his arms to comfort her.
"It's okay. You're okay, Han," Mike whispered as he ran his hands up and down her back in a soothing manner. He could feel his shirt quickly dampening where Hanna was now pressed against him, but it didn't bother Mike in the least bit. All he was concerned with in that moment was showing Hanna as much care as he possibly could in her time of need.
"I'm sorry you had to get dragged into that," Hanna mumbled into his chest, as she sniffled repeatedly, trying to control her emotions. The two remained in their stance for a few moments until Hanna finally pulled away, and as soon as she did, Mike reached up to her face, gently wiping away her tears as he gave her a warm smile that she was quick to return. "Thank you for standing up for me."
"You don't need to thank me," Mike responded with a shrug and a warm smile that caused Hanna's heart to skip a beat ever so slightly. "And hey, any guy who walks away from a girl like you doesn't deserve your tears, alright? I'm really proud of you for not giving him the satisfaction of seeing you cry either," he told her before leaning in and placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. The two remained in that position for a few moments, Hanna allowing herself to accept Mike's affection as she stayed pressed against his chest, his arms firmly enveloping her. And as Mike slowly pulled his lips away from her skin, Hanna was quick to once again pull him in, this time leaning in to place a soft kiss on his lips. Instantly, Mike found himself smiling into the kiss as he pulled Hanna in closer, the blonde wrapping her arms around his neck and relaxing in his embrace. It was as if they were perfectly synchronous, the two of them holding their position for a few moments until finally they slowly pulled away from one another, Mike bashfully smiling down at Hanna who was now blushing ever so slightly. "What was that for?"
"For being a pretty awesome boyfriend," Hanna replied with a shrug as she shot him a playful wink. And almost instantly, Mike could feel his face flush into a deep shade of red as he turned his gaze downward to the floor.
"Honestly, it completely slipped out of my mouth and I'm sorry for saying that. I know you said that you just wanted to be friends, and I respect that. Really, I do. But he—"
"It's okay Mike, I get it. And I'm really happy that you did what you did," Hanna interrupted, her words of reassurance causing Mike to slowly look back up at her, a smile creeping up onto his face. Hanna pulled away from Mike but kept her hand on his arm, sliding it down to his hand so that she could link their fingers together. Neither felt the need to acknowledge exactly what they were doing; all that mattered was that in that moment, both of them were completely content with the way things were. Hanna tugged on Mike's hand ever so slightly as she nodded in the direction that they had previously come from. "Come on, let's get back. I'm sure everyone is wondering where we went," she told Mike who simply nodded in agreement.
Upon Hanna and Mike making their way back to the ICU waiting room, the two arrived to see that Aria, Ezra, Melissa and Eric had now joined the rest of the group. It was silent throughout the room, but as Hanna and Mike made their way over, everyone seemed to spare a glance in their direction. Mike noticed Aria particularly keeping her eyes on the two, giving him a questioning look as she gave a quick glance to their intertwined fingers. And to his surprise, as Aria's eyes travelled back up to meet his, she shot him a soft smile that he was more than happy to return, knowing that it was her way of giving her own silent approval.
"There you are! Dr. Grabner is ready to test us; Ali's in there right now," Emily informed them once they were in close proximity. "What took you guys so long?"
Unsure as to whether or not Hanna wanted to delve into the situation that they had just dealt with, Mike turned to the blonde for her response, to which Hanna let out a sigh as she ran her fingers through her hair.
"Caleb is here," Hanna revealed in a less than impressed tone, and the moment the words came out of her mouth, there was a collective shift in attention as all eyes were on her. But it was something that Hanna hadn't particularly noticed, as her focus was now on Ezra, her eyebrow cocked inquisitively. "Ezra, did y—"
"I swear, I didn't tell him that we were here," Ezra quickly interrupted as he threw his hands up defensively. "Last I heard, Caleb's mom was getting a minor surgery done here, but that was a couple of weeks ago. I guess she must just still be here. But I promise, I didn't tell him anything. It's all just got to be some sort of coincidence," he quickly explained in hopes that he wouldn't have to deal with an unnecessary wrath of fury from an angry Hanna. Before she even had the chance to react though, the sound of the doors opening from the ICU caught everyone's attention as a Dr. Grabner appeared once again, making his way toward the group.
"Alison is just about finished up, and we'll be able to take another one of you down to test. In the meantime, I just came out to let you know that Spencer is out of surgery and is in stable condition for now," Dr. Grabner told the group, and as soon as he revealed that information, there was an audible collective sigh of relief that was let out from everyone around him. "Now, with that being said," he continued. "These next few hours are going to be critical for her, which unfortunately means that we can only allow immediate family in to see her tonight." Dr. Grabner turned to where Peter and Veronica were sitting, and it was obvious to every single person in the room how visibly tense it was between the two. "Mr. and Mrs. Hastings, whenever you're ready you can come on in."
And with that, Dr. Grabner turned and made his way back into the ICU, leaving the entire group silently looking at one another, none wanting to comment on the noticeably awkward vibe that was now radiating. The person that seemed most off-put by the situation, however, was Melissa, who was sat directly across from her parents, her gaze continuously shifted back and forth between the two as she could tell that they were going out of their way to not look at one another. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion; clearly she had missed something, but she had no clue what it was. Melissa turned to the rest of the room, hoping that someone could shed light on the situation, but the second she looked to her group of friends, it was almost as though every single person opted to actively avoid her, none of them able to even make eye contact. Melissa shook her head in annoyance, rolling her eyes as she brought her attention back to her parents. But before she had the chance to ask what was going on, Peter stood from his seat, looking down at his wife who remained seated.
"So, uhm… Do you want to go see her?" Peter offered in the softest tone he could muster, making it obvious that he was walking on eggshells with her. He held his hand out to Veronica, but there was little to no acknowledgement from her as she simply closed her eyes while letting out a deep exhale before calmly looking up at Peter.
"You can go in first, Peter. I'll go in by myself," Veronica responded in a standoffish tone before looking away from him, her actions only further increasing the room's tension as everybody watched the exchange between the two. Peter tried to contain his frustration as he looked away from his wife for a brief moment only to catch the rest of the room unsubtly shifting their eyes away from the couple, and he couldn't help but let out a sharp breath.
"Come on, V. We should really go in togeth—"
"Just go, Peter," Veronica cut him off as she snapped her head back up in his direction. Though Peter was trying his best to not to strike any chords with his wife, it was clear by her look of irritation that Veronica wasn't buying his act. "I said I'm going to go in by myself. So just go."
All eyes were on the Hastings family in that moment, and everyone could see the bewilderment across Melissa's face while she watched her parents interact with one another. She couldn't believe how childish they were both acting while their daughter was essentially in the next room over, fighting for her life. It frustrated her to no extent, but before she could even get a single question in, Veronica stood up from her seat, swiftly exiting the waiting room without a word. Melissa's eyes followed Veronica's path, and she turned to Peter for a brief moment, letting out a sigh as she stood up to go after her mother. But as she moved to exit the room, Peter stepped forward and took hold of her arm, stopping her in her tracks.
"I think it's best you just let her cool off, Melissa. Give her a few minutes by herself," Peter tried to instruct his daughter, but Melissa turned around, giving her father an incredulous look as she crossed her arms over her chest.
"Okay no, that's enough. Dad, what's going on between you and mom?" Melissa questioned, refusing to go a second longer without an explanation. But the last thing Peter wanted was to cause a scene by sparking any sort of argument within his family in the middle of the hospital. Letting out a sharp exhale, Peter ran his fingers through his hair, not knowing what to say.
"It's…" Peter's voice trailed, trying to find the right words to diffuse the situation. But he was quick to learn that with the reality of all that had happened and what he had done, there weren't any right words that he could use to explain himself. "It's complicated, sweetheart."
"Well then feel free to un-complicate it for me, dad," Melissa quickly rebutted, not in the mood to bounce around the subject any longer. She bored her eyes into her father, tapping her foot against the ground as she impatiently waited for an answer from him. And as Peter held eye contact with his daughter, he swallowed the nervous lump in his throat, knowing that there was no way of getting out of the situation anymore.
"Okay, look—"
"Melissa, I uhm… Is there any way I could talk to you alone, please?" Emily finally interrupted, standing up out of her seat and making her way over to the two. She could see the panic in Peter's eyes over the situation, and it pained Emily to watch him take the brunt of the heat over everything that had happened when in reality, she felt completely responsible for it all. All Peter had done was protect her, and now, it was Emily's turn to return the favour by coming clean – something she now wished she had done sooner. "Please, Melissa? It's important."
Though Melissa didn't want to give her dad a temporary free pass, the moment Melissa locked eyes with Emily it was immediately obvious that whatever it was she needed to talk to her about directly pertained to the awkward tension that had been radiating since the second she walked into the hospital. And so, much to her chagrin, she let out a sigh while nodding in agreement, the two of them exiting the waiting room and making their way to a bench close-by.
"Alright Emily, what's going on? What the hell happened? I mean, just a few hours ago, I was finishing a nice family dinner with Eric and Matthew, and the next thing I know I'm getting a phone call from Jason telling me I need to get to Rosewood Med right away? How did this all happen? And why does it feel like nobody in that room will even consider telling me the truth about why my sister ended up here in the first place?" Melissa continued to question, feeling as though she was being intentionally left in the dark by all of her friends and family. Her frustration was building quickly; all she wanted was an explanation – a reason as to why one of the best people she knew was now fighting for her life.
"It's, uhm," Emily paused, her gaze shifting to the floor as she let out a sigh, trying to find her words. She ran her fingers through her hair as she concentrated on bracing herself for the reaction she was sure she was going to get. "It's all my fault. Spencer found something out that I had been keeping from her, and she ran out. If I had just been honest with her sooner, none of this would have happened."
"O…kay?" Melissa slowly let out, still not getting what Emily was trying to say. There was a bout of silence between the two as Melissa quirked her eyebrow inquisitively, waiting for Emily to further explain. She could see how nervous Emily was as she observed her body language, so Melissa reached over to the girl, placing her hand on Emily's arm. The sudden contact caused Emily to look up, and Melissa simply offered her a smile of support while giving her arm a reassuring squeeze. "Em, whatever it is, you can tell me. I'm sure it's nothing that you and my sister won't be able to get past."
"Don't be so sure about that," Emily nervously muttered under her breath as she looked away once more. "Jason is Xaviera's father," she blurted out without any warning. And in an instant, Melissa's soft, supportive gaze turned into one of shock; jaw dropped and eyes bulged, she was speechless. "M-Melissa," Emily stuttered as she looked over to the girl who seemed completely petrified in that moment. A stabbing pain shot through her arm, and as she glanced down at it she could see Melissa's fingernails clenched deeply into them. "Melissa, you're, uhm, kind of hurting me."
"Sorry, I, uhm," Melissa mindlessly replied, loosening her grip on Emily. Her words trailed off as she stared at the wall straight ahead of her, trying to process the information she'd just received. But she couldn't. It had to be some sort of mistake or misunderstanding. "So you're saying that Jason… Is Xaviera's father? But… But that would mean that—oh my god," she paused, finally looking over to Emily once again. There was only a brief moment of eye contact between the two when Emily gave Melissa a slight nod before dropping her head in shame and burying her face in her palms. The disappointment was palpable as Melissa finally whispered, "You slept with Jason."
"I didn't… It's not like I meant for it to happen. Neither of us did. I mean, we were drunk; I was upset about Spencer leaving, and it was right around the first time he and Cece had ever broken up. There were just… So many things that happened that night, and," Emily paused and lifted her head up, her heart clenching as she could see the anguish all over Melissa's face. Because it wasn't that she'd only betrayed Spencer; in that moment, she felt as though she had betrayed the entire Hastings family. "We didn't… I mean, we weren't," she sighed, struggling to find a way to even begin to explain herself. "We stopped pretty quickly after we started to, uhm…" Emily paused, the discomfort of the conversation causing her to look away shyly. "God, this is so awkward," she said with a huff. "It didn't last very long. We both sobered up pretty quickly, realized that what we were doing was wrong, and we stopped. But I mean, whether it was for a minute or for an hour, all it takes is that small window for something like this to happen. And it did," Emily concluded, looking over to Melissa who seemed to be completely beside herself in that moment. "Look, I understand if you never want to see or talk to me again. I mean, I'm pretty sure the vast majority of your family never will, so…"
"Emily, this is between you and my sister. And well, I guess apparently my brother too, but that's irrelevant. Look, what's I'm trying to say is that you may have made a mistake, but I have no right to judge you, or your decisions. You two were broken up, my sister left, and in a moment of weakness you made a choice that changed your life forever. That's it," Melissa told her. She could tell that Emily was still nervous, and it looked as though she was still waiting for the 'but' in the situation, practically holding her breath in apprehension. There wasn't one, though; Melissa felt no right in judging Emily for her actions. "Listen Em, don't get me wrong; I love Spencer and I'm very protective of her. I can understand why my sister would be pissed, but the bottom line is that that's between the two of you. And as much as I'm sure Spencer probably feels angry, upset, and betrayed – especially because of whom it happened with – at the end of the day, she left. Which means that any of the decisions that either of the two of you made while you were apart… In my opinion, she only gets to have a certain amount of anger at you for."
"God, I wish she was that rational when she found out," Emily spoke with a sigh as she buried her hands in her face once more. "I just really regret not telling her sooner," she continued, her voice being slightly muffled through her hands. "She didn't deserve to find out the way she did."
"What do you mean by that?" Melissa questioned, and Emily lifted her head up, realizing that there was still more to the story that she still hadn't yet revealed.
"She sort of… Walked in on a conversation that I was having with your dad," Emily began to vaguely explain, her words causing Melissa's facial expression to change to one of confusion.
"My dad?" What? What does my dad have to do with any of this?" Melissa was quick to ask, causing Emily to let out a sharp exhale. She didn't want to cause any more issues between the Hastings family, but it seemed like it was inevitable at this point as Melissa stared at her, looking for an answer. "Emily, what did my dad—"
"He knew. The whole time, he knew," Emily revealed. And once again, it was silent between the two as she allowed Melissa to take a few moments to digest the new information. It was clear that Melissa was trying as much as she could to remain calm, but given all of the information that she'd just had thrown at her, it was proving to be difficult.
"Okay, so let me get this straight," Melissa finally spoke after a few minutes of silence. "He knew you were pregnant?" Emily nodded in agreement. "With Jason's baby?" She nodded again. "And he kept it a secret for almost five years?"
"I know it sounds bad, but—"
"It doesn't just sound bad, Emily. If what you're saying is true, then that means that my dad kept a grandchild hidden from my entire family for almost five years," Melissa stated, stressing the emphasis on how bad the situation truly was. "After everything my family has been though, especially when it comes to lying and keeping a family member a secret… You know probably better than anyone else that it's not something we take lightly."
"I know… I know you're right, and I really do regret it," Emily said with a sigh, truly feeling the guilt and remorse. Usually, Emily wasn't the type of person to regret her actions and choices; she was a firm believer that everything happened for a reason, but in that moment it was almost impossible to see an upside. Everything that was happened to the people she loved and cared about was her fault, and all she wished in that moment was that she could somehow do it all over again differently. "You know, at the time, I thought I was making the right choice. I didn't think I was ever going to see Spencer again, let alone have another chance at a relationship with her. I was just doing what I thought was right."
"And I get that, Em. But… When a person is then put in the position where they have to lie to their entire family, how right could it possibly be?" Melissa questioned, and suddenly, a silence fell over the two. Emily knew that Melissa was correct on all accounts. She knew that she shouldn't have kept everything a secret from Spencer, but she knew that the reason she'd done it was mostly out of fear. The thought of losing Spencer again was absolutely unbearable. But Emily also knew that everything would have ended badly no matter what. A sudden movement snapped Emily from her thoughts, and she looked over to see Melissa standing from her seat. "Come on, we need to get back. I should talk to my dad, and my mom probably wants to see Spencer."
Nodding in agreement, Emily stood up from her seat and followed Melissa en suite. But before they re-entered the ICU waiting room, Emily reached out and took ahold of Melissa's arm, causing her to stop and turn around.
"Hey look, I just want to that, uhm… It really means a lot to me that you let me explain my side. I understand the position that I've put you in, considering everything, but…" Emily paused, letting out a sigh as she ran her fingers through her hair. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I just really appreciate the fact that you didn't turn your back on me."
"Hey, whether or not you're with Spencer, I will always see you as family, Em," Melissa responded, shrugging with a light smile on her face. "You were a big part of my sister's life, and you were there for her in ways I could be, especially while she was growing up. That means more to me than almost anything else in the world," she told Emily who gave Melissa a smile of genuine appreciation. "Oh, and by the way?" Melissa continued. "Just between the two of us, I'm pulling for you two. There's no denying that nobody could ever love Spencer as much as you do. And regardless of the situation the two of you are in right now, I know you're going to get through it together. Because that's what soul mates do."
"Thank you. It really means a lot to know that you're pulling for us. I just hope she can forgive me," Emily replied, letting out a light huff of breath.
"Things might seem bad at first, but Spencer really has grown a lot from the girl who ran out on you five years ago. There's not a single doubt in my mind that you two won't come out of this together," Melissa told her with a reassuring smile. "Now come on," she told Emily, stepping forward and throwing her arm around Emily's shoulder. "Let's get back to everyone else, sis. Or well… I guess I can't technically call you sis yet, even though I am Xaviera's aunt, huh?" Melissa spoke in a joking tone that earned her an unimpressed look from Emily. "Too soon to joke?"
"You know, some days you really do sound more like a Kahn than a Hastings," shot back at Melissa who gave her a feigned look of offense, nudging her ever so slightly.
"Okay, well that was just uncalled for," Melissa responded, and the two shared a lighthearted laugh as they made their way back to the waiting room together.
"Okay Xav. How do you say: Do you watch television – singular form?" Emily asked Xaviera who sat across the table from her. Xaviera looked at her, her face scrunched up in concentration, as she seemed to be deep in thought.
"Guardi la televisore?" Xaviera finally answered Emily whose face lit up with happiness. She nodded in confirmation, and Xaviera couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief. It had now been over an hour that Emily had been helping Xaviera go over her Italian homework, and it was finally starting to look as though she was actually getting the hang of it.
"Okay, what about," Emily paused and looked down at Xaviera's textbook before glancing up at her daughter. "We play soccer?"
"That's an easy one, mama. Giochiamo il calcio," Xaviera recited perfectly, and Emily laughed while nodding in agreement. Of course Xaviera knew how to say the term 'to play soccer' in Italian. Apart from music, soccer was what she was the most passionate for, bar none.
"Alright, baby girl; one last conjugation. I help my mom cook dinner?" Emily questioned with a quirked brow, to which Xaviera playfully rolled her eyes and smiled.
"Aiuto mia mamma cucinare la cena," Xaviera responded with a light giggle and once again Emily nodded yes, letting her know that she was correct. "But not tonight, right mama? 'Cause mom said that we were gonna—"
"I know, I know. You and mom are finally going to practice your music when she gets home," Emily interrupted, feigning exasperation to her daughter. "Don't worry, you don't have to help with dinner tonight unless you want to."
It was all she had heard about from Xaviera throughout the entire day – her excitement over getting to practice music with Spencer. And if she was being honest, Emily absolutely loved how excited her daughter got about spending time with her wife. They had a special relationship with one another that was so unique and genuine, it brought a smile to Emily's face just thinking about it.
"Well if it isn't two of my favourite girls," a voice announced from behind Emily and Xaviera, and both girls perked up in excitement as they turned around to see Spencer making her way toward the two. As fast as she could, given the fact that she was seven months pregnant, Spencer entered the room and wobbled over to her wife and daughter, giving Xaviera a quick peck on the forehead before turning and capturing Emily's lips for a soft, sweet kiss.
"And if it isn't two of my favourite girls," Emily happily responded as she placed a kiss on Spencer's baby bump before standing up from her seat and enveloping her wife, giving her another kiss on the lips. "I missed you, beautiful."
"Mm, me too," Spencer spoke, a smile creeping up on her face as she leaned in for another kiss. "Even though I only went into the firm for an hour, it felt like days having to be away from you," she continued, and for the umpteenth time Spencer leaned in and kissed her wife. Unable to help herself, Emily wrapped her arms around Spencer's neck and it was as though the whole world briefly faded away from around them. It wasn't until Xaviera jokingly made a gagging noise that the two quickly cut their moment of intimacy short, both of them looking down at their daughter who was now giggling to herself. Spencer shook her head at the little girl, but she couldn't help joining in on the laughter as well. "So, goober. How's the studying coming along?"
"E fantastico, mamma. Posso parlare Italiano molto bene," Xaviera replied with a proud smile on her face, and all Spencer could do was cock an eyebrow. To say her daughter impressed her was an understatement; no matter what she pursued, it seemed that Xaviera always managed to somehow blow Spencer away.
"Multilingual in grade school," Spencer mumbled out, completely baffled. She turned to Emily who simply held a pleased look across her face, and she couldn't help but mirror her wife. "You know your daughter is a genius, right?"
"I know," Emily replied with a nod as she slid her arm around Spencer's shoulder, cuddling her head into the crook of her wife's neck. "I was kind of hoping that that would be one of the many wonderful influences you'd have on our daughter," she told Spencer before placing a few kisses along her jawline. Letting out a sigh of content, Emily pulled away ever so slightly and then looked up at Spencer. "So we did a little bit of math today, but it was mostly Italian. And she managed to get through the present tense verb conjugations she has to know for next week."
"Good job, baby girl," Spencer congratulated her daughter with a smile, and she gently ran her fingers through Xaviera's hair before placing a kiss on top of her head. "You know, if you keep learning at the rate you do, the sky's the limit, Xav. Really proud of you."
"Thanks, mom," Xaviera shyly responded as she shifted her gaze away, and Spencer and Emily both looked at each other in amusement.
"Okay, well. I know she's been really excited for some one on one with you, so I'll leave you two at it and get started on dinner," Emily announced, giving Spencer one more kiss on the lips before untangling herself from her wife. "I love you, beautiful."
"I love you too, babe," Spencer responded, and Emily felt her heart flutter at her wife's words. Because regardless of how long they had been together, a simple I love you never failed to make her heart skip a beat. Spencer watched as Emily offered her one more smile before turning to Xaviera, giving her a playful wink and then exiting the room. Letting out a light yawn, Spencer looked down at her daughter only to see Xaviera glancing back up at her, a slight look of concern on her face.
"Are you tired, mom? Do you want to lay down?" Xaviera questioned, and Spencer couldn't help but grin at the care and concern her daughter effortlessly displayed. Sure, Xaviera was one of the most talented kids she'd ever seen, but as a mother what she was the most proud of was the heart that her daughter had. It always warmed her to her core.
"I'll be okay, love. I know how much you've wanted to work on your music all week, so let's go get your guit—" Spencer spoke, but was cut off by another unexpected yawn. "Phew, sorry about that."
"Mom, you're tired. You have to lay down," Xaviera emphasized as she stood from her seat and took Spencer's hand in her own. "Come on; we can have our music time in bed while you lay down," she concluded, and before Spencer could even put up an argument she found herself being pulled by her daughter. "Rest is good for the baby, mom. And I really don't mind just lying down with you and listening to some music. Is that okay with you?"
"Of course that's okay with me, Xav; as long as it's okay with you," Spencer agreed as they entered the master bedroom. Xaviera kept hold of her mother's hand until they reached the bed, and she was insistent on helping Spencer sit down and get comfortable. "Thank you, Xavi bear. Here, take this." Spencer reached into the pocket of the pants she was wearing and pulled out her phone, handing it to Xaviera who gave her an inquisitive look. "Plug it into the dock and play whatever you want, sweetheart."
Xaviera's face lit up as she eagerly took hold of her mother's phone and began to look through the music. She knew exactly what she wanted to listen to, and as soon as she plugged Spencer's phone into the dock, the sound that filled the room brought a smile to both her and her mother's face.
"John Mayer is always a good choice," Spencer spoke with a tone of approval as she looked over to Xaviera who happily nodded in agreement. "Come lay down with me for a bit."
Without a word, Xaviera followed in her mother's request, joining Spencer on her bed. Spencer wrapped her arm around Xaviera, and the little girl happily cuddled into her mom, her head resting against her shoulder. The room was silent apart from the sounds of music that filled the room, and both girls allowed themselves relax and take it all in. Xaviera traced her petite fingers along Spencer's arm, paying special attention to the black ink that permanently stained its cream surface. And she could tell that it was almost therapeutic to her mother who now had her eyes closed.
"Hey, mom?" Xaviera whispered out, and Spencer's eyes fluttered open as she looked down to the little girl, giving her all of her attention. "I've always wondered; this tattoo on your arm…" She traced her fingers along it once more, examining it closely. "It just looks like a bunch of letters. What does it actually mean?"
Spencer looked down at her arm and smiled; it had been so long since she had actually gotten the tattoo, and most days she forgot that it was even there. But at the same time, on Spencer's worst days when she felt the weight of the world on her shoulders, it was looking at that tattoo that always calmed her and made her feel at ease.
"They're not just random letters, Xav. They're called roman numerals, which was a numeric system used in ancient Rome, in which a combination of letters signifies a numerical value," Spencer explained to her daughter who kept her full attention on her, nodding in understanding. "So the letters on my arm are actually dates – significant dates that have some way impacted my life," she continued to explain, pausing to shift her arm so that she could also look at them. "This first one here is your mama's birthday, and the second one is our anniversary." Spencer smiled to herself as her eyes shifted to Xaviera who seemed especially intrigued by her words. "The third one is your birthday. And the fourth one is the day that I officially became your legal mom."
"Wow. That's really, really cool, mom. I love it," Xaviera told her as she took hold of Spencer's arm and cuddled against it. "And I'm glad that I mean enough to you to be one of your significant dates."
"You're my daughter, and I love you Xaviera Hastings. You will always be one of the most significant people in my life. No matter what, Xavi bear."
A grin broke out across Xaviera's face, and she shuffled her position on the bed just enough to place a loving kiss on her mother's cheek.
"I love you too, Mama Bear."
Hours of waiting in silence had passed, and the waiting room had cleared out ever so slightly. In the early hours of the morning after all testing was done and over with, everyone still remained apart from Eric, who had gone back to the Fields residence where Pam and Wayne had been watching Matthew for them. Most of them were asleep in their chairs, but it didn't matter that they were uncomfortable and cramped up in that space; they refused to leave. At least, not before they knew that Spencer would be okay.
The door to the ICU opened, and Emily and Natalie – who were the only two that were still awake – looked up to see Dr. Grabner come into the waiting room, a familiar file folder in his hand. They'd instantly recognized it to be Spencer's chart, and they knew before he even made his way over that they were about to hear what they'd all been waiting there for. Emily leaned forward in her chair and gave Peter's leg a light nudge, which caused him to startle awake, his sudden movement also taking Veronica out of her sleeping state. Peter rubbed the sleep out of his eyes before looking over to Emily, but before he could ask what was going on she nodded over to Dr. Grabner who was now just a few feet away from them.
"The results are in, and I have some good news for you," Dr. Grabner revealed, gesturing to the file folder that he was holding in his arm. His voice echoing throughout the waiting room was enough to wake the rest of the group from their slumber, and all eyes were now on Dr. Grabner as everybody waited to hear what he had to say. "Three of you have positively matched as possible donors to Spencer," he told them, opening up his file folder and then scanning his eyes over the document that was in his hands. "I'd like to speak with Emily Fields, Jason DiLaurentis, and Natalie Uteresier."
If it were possible, the room fell even more silent than it had the entire evening. Natalie, Jason and Emily looked at one another nervously as they stood from their chairs, unsure as to what they were about to hear from Dr. Grabner. But nevertheless, they followed him into the ICU hoping that whatever it was would be able to help Spencer live.
"Okay, let's get right to it," Dr. Grabner announced once they arrived in his office, taking a seat on the couch that was there. "Under normal circumstances of a living kidney donation, the process in which we would evaluate you would normally take a lot more time. Unfortunately, we don't have that extra time because of the state in which currently is," he began, and the three silently nodded in understanding. "Luckily we were able to run a few tests which have determined that the three of you are the most compatible potential donors. Now, there are still a few evaluations that we have to run, but the reason I've called the three of you in here is because in order to speed up the process, it would be quicker to test one of you rather than all three. Essentially, I need the three of you to decide which one of you that's going to be."
The three of them looked at one another, and it was clear that there were nerves splayed across each and every single one of their face as they internally contemplated what they had been told. Because it wasn't just that the decision they were about to make was one of the utmost importance; it was also life changing. And each and every single one of them were aware that the choice made would not only change one of their lives forever, but also Spencer's.
Finally, a voice broke the silence.
"I'll do it. I want to be the one to do it. But I need you guys to promise me one thing. Promise me that Spencer doesn't find out who donated it. Tell her it was an anonymous donor; I don't care. But she doesn't find out that it was from me. Agreed?"
Well, there you have it folks! A little bit of insight into Haleb's past as well as a bit of a tease as to what Peter's involvement with everything is! And of course, you now (kind of) know who Spencer's kidney donor might be! I know, it's like I give you all these answers only to leave you with a bunch more questions, huh ;p. Nonetheless, I really hope that you all enjoyed this update. I feel slightly indifferent about it, as I feel like it didn't flow nearly as well as I wanted it to. But now that I've gotten back into the writing groove, hopefully the next updates will flow a lot more smoothly. If you have the time, I would love to hear all of your thoughts on the update, which of course can be done via review! They definitely never fail to make my day, and I love seeing what you all think. Of course, if you don't have time it's okay. I appreciate any and all readers no matter what (: Lastly, thank you all so much for continuing to follow this story. Seriously, you're the best and it means the world to me. Until next time, I hope all of your New Years have been off to a good start, and I love you all (: