AN: Thank you for all your support and sticking with me even though I am a horrible updater. Enjoy!

Chapter Twenty Five

The Pain of the Past

It had been two months since the families had been granted permission to stay on Atlantis. The babies were thriving three-months-old and the mothers were still on partial maternity leave. Since there were so many 'mishaps' on Atlantis their help was called upon weekly. Ronon and John had been going on more missions and were slowly getting used to being away from their children for long periods of time. Both men still demanded updates about their babies when they checked in every five hours, but they willingly walked through the gate now. On one mission Ronon even wanted to stay longer than they had to when he ran into Satedan's on a nearby planet.

Everyone was shocked. Ronon was just excited to have people from his home world again. It was five Satedan's, two he knew and three he didn't. The man and the woman, Ahalo and Elsa, recognized him instantly and they started reminiscing instantly in the pub. John, Rodney and Teyla's replacement, Major Farnsworth tried to pull Ronon out of the pub after they finished meeting with the planet's leaders without him but Ronon wanted to stay longer. He was able to talk them into two more hours before they had to leave because John was having withdrawals from Molly. Being reminded of Gavin, Ronon realized he hadn't seen his son in nearly ten hours and left willing.

When they arrived back on Atlantis, after Ronon promised he would return to the planet the next day, Teyla and Anna were waiting in the Gate room with their children. Ronon was still beaming when he walked up to Anna, not even noticing her slightly panicked eyes.

"Have fun?" Anna asked, cracking an unconvincing smile for Ronon.

"I found some old friends from Sateda on the planet." Ronon answered, still smiling brightly.

Anna was still on edge but Ronon was still too pleased to notice but she swallowed whatever was bothering her and bounced Gavin on her hip. "Tell us about them." She said quietly, passing Gavin to his father.

As they all walked back to their apartment Ronon talked a little more than usual and while it wasn't much more Anna was still surprised and still on edge. In their apartment Anna held Gavin while Ronon dressed down from the mission, removing his knives and other weapons while still talking to Anna about the Satedan's he ran into.

"I don't think you've talked this much in one sitting in all the time I've known you." Anna commented with an anxious laugh.

Ronon lost the amused look he had in his eyes as he realized there wasn't something quite right with Anna. "What's wrong?" He asked worryingly.

She shook her head too quickly. "Nothing, tell me more." She said still trying too hard to appear casual.

"You're still a bad liar." He told her knowingly.

Anna decided to cover the real reason for her nervousness with a sort-of truth. "I'm just worried about the head cold going around, I don't want Gavin to get it." She said looking down at Gavin.

Ronon looked to his son and watched as he gnawed at his fist and grasped at his foot. He could believe Anna's reason but knew there was something more. "I'm going back tomorrow." He said blankly, waiting for her reaction.

Her eyes, which were already failing at hiding the panic, widened even more. "O-okay, that'll be good." She stuttered. Ronon looked at her with a raised brow. "For you, I mean, you haven't been around your people for so long." She amended quickly.

There was something about the way Anna said it that rubbed Ronon the wrong way.

"Do want to take Gavin sometime?" She asked suddenly, bouncing Gavin a little more.

As much as Ronon wanted his Satedan friends to meet his son, he didn't want Gavin leaving Atlantis unless he was sure the planet he was going to was completely free of the Wraith. "Later." He said firmly. His earpiece buzzed with John's voice and he taped on the shell of the device. "What?" He asked annoyed.

John let him know that Elizabeth wanted a debriefing about the mission, including the Satedan's he met. Ronon didn't want to but let John know he'd be there.

He stood and holstered his gun again. "I'll be back later." He said sourly.

Anna's eyes saddened but she nodded. "Alright," She murmured, holding Gavin tighter.

Ronon left quickly for the conference room. In the debriefing he was irritated and didn't use more than one word answers. Elizabeth quickly got the hint that Ronon wasn't in the mood to answer questions and just as quickly stopped asking them. After the debriefing Ronon was the first to leave and he searched to find Teyla. He didn't have to go far since she was waiting outside the conference room.

"Can I talk to you?" He asked almost desperately.

"Yes," Teyla answered worryingly.

"Is anything wrong with Anna?" He asked lowly, looking around to make sure no one was listening to the conversation.

"What do you mean?" She asked confused.

He pulled her into a more secluded corner and away from prying eyes. "Something's wrong with her, but she won't tell me." He told her angrily.

"I have not spoken with her today, so I am not sure." She answered shaking her head. "Is something wrong?" She asked concerned.

"Yes and she won't tell me." He ground out.

Teyla sighed and placed her hand on his massive forearm. "Maybe it is something she does not want you to worry about." She offered.

"And I won't if she hides things from me?" He demanded, getting angrier by the second.

She let out a long breath and knew there was nothing she could say to change his mood. "Talk to her Ronon." She said seriously.

Ronon nodded begrudgingly and walked for the gym. He was still too frustrated to go back to figuring out what was wrong with his son's mother so he went to work out his aggressions on any Marine's willing to spar with him.

After an hour using some of the Atlantis Expeditions soldiers as human punching bags Ronon felt a lot less angry. He showered before going back to Anna since he had worked up more than a sweat. When he got to the apartment he let himself in and found the living room empty. Walking down the hall he saw Anna's door closed while Gavin's was open. He knew even as he opened the door that Anna and Gavin would be sleeping.

Laying in Anna's bed, still on top of the covers, was Gavin and Anna herself. They were both sleeping but he could tell Anna was still conflicted by how tense her eyebrows were. He let out a heavy breath and shut the door behind him. He took off his shoes by the chair in the corner, took off his belt and set it in the chair then climbed in behind Anna since it was the only side that had enough room for him.

He wasn't as uncomfortable sleeping with Anna and Gavin since they had been doing it for the past few weeks but he didn't feel the least bit comfortable at the moment. There was still tension between them even though Anna was sleeping. He had to resist the urge to wake her up and force her to talk to him but the little snoring sounds coming from the bodies next to him were making him putty and he didn't have the heart to wake her, and sequentially Gavin, up.

He knew they would both be up in the morning, long before Ronon would be leaving to go back to the planet with Major Farnsworth so he let the issue go for the time being and sleep sort of peacefully with Anna and their son. He relaxed as much as he could and closed his eyes, knowing he would sort everything out the next day.

The twice that Gavin woke up, Anna tended to him before Ronon could even blink. He knew Anna was avoiding him even half asleep but he didn't say anything. After Gavin woke up the second time they all fell back asleep and Ronon didn't wake up until nine in the morning. Anna was already awake with Gavin and Ronon had two hours before he was leaving again so he took the time to change his clothes and then talk to Anna.

Walking into the living room once he changed his clothes, he found Anna cleaning rapidly. She was wiping down the walls frantically. Ronon was getting more and more worried as he walked closer to her.

"Where's Gavin?" He asked looking around.

Anna snapped to him and he was a little shocked at her appearance. Her hair was tousled with a blotchy face and bloodshot eyes and he knew she had been crying. "Napping," She chirped before going back to cleaning the walls.

Ronon looked down the hall and saw Gavin's door was closed. Looking back to Anna moving at an unnatural speed he sighed and walked up to her, grabbing her arms and forcing her to look at him. "We need to talk." He said awkwardly. He wasn't used to talking things out and he had no idea what he was doing. He only hoped he didn't make things worse.

Her eyes quickly went from panicked to miserable. "Don't go." She croaked as her eyes quickly filled with tears.

"What?" He asked bluntly.

Tears soaked her cheeks and she tried to catch her breath. "I've had a bad feeling since you left yesterday and it's only gotten worse." She slurred rapidly.

"A bad feeling?" He hissed flatly.

His tone made her recoil and but she clung to his arms. "I know it's silly but this has happened to me before and each time I've had it something bad did happen and I'm really freaking out." She told him earnestly, trying her hardest to stop crying.

Ronon looked at her disbelievingly. She was asking him to abandon the friends he thought he had lost so many years ago because she had a 'bad feeling'.

"I can't shake the feeling no matter what I do. I don't want to ask." She told him, straining to keep her voice.

"Then why are you?" He snapped angrily.

"Because I'm scared." She whispered desperately. "Please," She added gripping his arms tighter, her chest heaving heavily with her sobs.

He pulled his arms out of her grasp and walked back to her room swiftly for his boots and gun. Walking back out Anna was still standing, her whole body wracked with sobs.

"Ronon," She whimpered, almost pathetically.

He strode passed her without looking her in the eye.

"Ronon, please!" She cried hysterically. As he walked through the front door he heard Gavin start crying from his room, but he was so angry it didn't process in his mind.

He didn't stop for anything. He didn't walk to the transporter, he went straight for the stairs. He was so angry he was shaking. He stalked straight to the armory and geared up there, grabbing extra supplies and then headed to Weir's office.

"Oh, Ronon, you're early." Elizabeth said surprised as she stood to meet him.

"I want to stay on the planet for a few days." He said firmly.

Elizabeth was clearly taken back. "Ah – well, are you sure?" She asked questioningly.

"Yes," He growled lowly.

She held up her hands in defeat. "Okay, I'll inform the Major, but please don't turn your radio off." She said sternly with a pointed finger.

"Fine," He ground out then left her office as swiftly as he had come.

Stalking down into the gate room he only had to wait five minutes before Major Farnsworth showed up, looking particularly irritated.

"What's wrong with you?" The Major asked snidely.

Ronon looked at Major Farnsworth, seething malice from every pour of his being.

"Forget I asked." He muttered under his breath and watched as they gate dialed to the planet Ronon's Satedan friends were waiting for him.

The gate stabilized and Ronon walked through before Chuck could announce their clearance. On the other side of the gate Ronon's friends were indeed waiting. Ahalo was a tall blonde man, his same age with just as many scars. Elsa was a slender brunette with a penchant for hunting Wraith and a short frame that didn't match her temper. Ronon's anger subsided for a moment but it wasn't replaced with joy, only a minor sense of relief and a bigger sense of guilt.

"Ronon!" Elsa called out, running up to him as soon as he cleared the event horizon, launching herself at him. Ronon caught her easily enough with one hand and hugged her as greatly as she hugged him. Major Farnsworth walked away from the group and toward the main city of the planet to do the job he was tasked with.

"You look like you could use a drink." Ahalo said walking up to him and smacking Ronon's shoulder.

"I need one." Ronon grumbled.

"And I know just the place." Ahalo said with a great grin. Ronon only hoped the planet had enough drink to make him forget the fact that he had just left Anna and his son, crying.

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