So, I'm sorry that I'm slightly later in updating than usual but it was my own Christmas party on Friday and I fully intented on updated yesterday however, I may have had a little too much to drink on Friday night/Saturday morning. I may not have joined the land of consciousness until 3pm yesterday, my head may not have stopped spinning until 5pm and I may not have been able to walk in a straight line until 6pm! Needless to say trying to get my eyes to focus on a computer screen was completely out of the question, hence the slightly delayed update! In my defence, I passed my exam on Friday and everyone kept buying me drinks, plus there was a bottle of wine per person on my table, and well, it would have been rude not to drink them! LOL. At least I have tomorrow off.
Hope the chapter was worth the wait. Oh, there are some naughty words and another mildly violent scenes in this chapter in case those things offend you. At least you've been warned!
Disclaimer: After my Christmas party I am the owner of stolen goods - 3 cocktail stirers from the bar to be precise (which I apparently needed at 3am and shoved in my clutch bag whilst drinking sambuca shots!) Unfortunately the ownership papers to Cold Case were not available to steal...I'm not sure they would have made my hangover any better yesterday even if they were! LOL
Scotty stood in the conference room stock still. What the hell had just happened? One minute they had been making out, the next Lilly had received a phone call and had pretty much sprinted out of the conference room like it had been on fire. What on earth would make Lilly act like that? It couldn't be a case, or an incident with one of their colleagues, as he hadn't received a call. So who exactly had called Lilly?
More importantly, how had they got to the point that he had her pressed up against a wall with his dick so fucking hard, her leg over his hip, his hand squeezing her breast, and his mouth sucking on the smooth skin of her neck in the first place? The state he was in now there was no way he could chase her out of the conference room without raising some serious eyebrows.
Breathing out heavily in frustration, Scotty began to pace around the abandoned conference room in an effort to burn off some of the unsatisfied lust that was still coursing through his veins, his hand quite literally scratching his head as he thought back over the evenings events with Lilly.
First he had been so turned on by her appearance this evening that he'd had to have a Lilly Session before he had even left his apartment. Next, she had beaten him on the speech bet that had only served to piss him off even more, and then he had seen her talking and laughing and look so fucking happy with Kite that he couldn't help but drag her away. Lilly was pregnant with his kid, it should be him making her laugh like that, him bringing that megawatt smile to her face, him dancing with her. HIM not Kite.
Up until tonight he realised, it had been him that had been making her laugh and smile like that. Whenever they were together, whether it was for a doctor appointment, at work, or just hanging out in one of their homes, they always had fun and he really enjoyed their banter. They teased each other, but knew each other's boundaries, they actually talked about stuff too, not just about cases, and he could relax around her and just really be himself. He knew that Lilly wouldn't judge him, she would just listen and offer her own views on his problems. Likewise, he would listen to her share her problems (not that she did often seeing as she was Lilly Rush) and he liked the fact that she took his opinions on board. He liked that he was the only one who could calm her down when she got upset, like she had been when they told Boss about the pregnancy, like she had been when they bumped into her mother, like she had been when she had told him about her attack, like this very evening when she couldn't get her shoes fastened.
He thought back on all the things they had experienced together over the past 7 months. The night Bean had been conceived, the night she had told him about Bean, how he had walked out and how she had let him come back into her life, and therefore Bean's. How she had kept her word and trusted him - how he would be more grateful than she could ever imagine that she had allowed herself to do that.
He reminisced about the first scan, telling Boss and their first proper outing together when Lilly went shopping for maternity clothes. How she'd sacrificed her independence to go on desk duty, by only working her contracted hours, by letting people, including himself, do things for her which he knew she hated. How she had changed her lifestyle to make sure she ate regularly and healthily, how she swam and practiced yoga to make sure she gave Bean the best start in life. How she forced herself to take pre-natal vitamins everyday even though he knew swallowing tablets made her gag.
He thought about how she hadn't made him beg her to meet his parents, and how she had really made the effort to let his overbearing parents and family into her and Bean's life. He knew his parents were calling her regularly and showing up unannounced, but not once had she complained.
He remembered the first time Bean had kicked and how she let him touch her bump whenever he wanted, how she gave him time to bond with his child and had not complained once about it. How she'd agreed to wait and find out the sex because that's what he wanted.
He thought back to the day they had cleared out her spare room, how she'd given up her own office so that Bean could have its own room. Their shopping trip together and their encounter with her mother which had made him realise just how hard her childhood had been - and why to the world she was this tough Ice Queen, but underneath it all she was just like any other woman with her own fears and insecurities.
He couldn't help shuddering as he recalled Thanksgiving, when she had told him about what happened to her with George in the attic, about her 49 report and her own fears about parenting. He thought about Thanksgiving dinner when they had been giving thanks and how she had thanked his family for accepting Bean, and how in private she had thanked him for being involved in Bean's life.
He remembered the somewhat horrifying lamaze class and how she had distracted him afterwards and made him feel better even though it was her who would be going through all that...stuff.
He thought about their cooking lessons and how he'd taught her how to cook; she'd taught him how to look after cats, and he had grown rather fond of Tripod and Olivia he thought with a rueful smile.
It dawned on him then that the time Lilly and he spent just hanging out and bonding with Bean had been some of the happiest times of his life, alongside those memories he had of Elisa from when they were kids - happy, carefree and looking forward to the future. With a start he realised that's exactly what Lilly had given him for the future: hope. For the first time in a long time he was actually looking forward to the future.
But was that all it was? Hope sure as hell didn't have you lusting over your partner to the point that she was all you could think about. Hope didn't have you wanking yourself off minutes before you were supposed to be going out with your partner, just so you could get through the evening without embarrassing yourself. Hope didn't have you dragging your partner across a crowded dance floor just because your partner was having fun with another man.
A wave of fear washed over Scotty as he realised that indeed it wasn't just hope if felt, there was lust and desire for Lilly too. Lilly and him had always had good chemistry together, but he couldn't deny they had grown closer over the past few months; from the moment he had kissed her hand at the 12 week scan until tonight. As he'd got to know Lilly as a woman rather than the detective he worked with, he found himself caring about her more, wanting to protect her at all costs, and just wanting to be around her. When she wasn't around he missed her and wished that he could just go and see her, but he was scared that she would find him overbearing and push him away so he never plucked up the courage to go unless they had already made plans.
But if he wasn't mistaken, he wasn't the only one lusting over someone in their current situation. He had caught Lilly having an erotic dream about him and she had been more than a willing participant tonight, that had to mean something, right?
Scotty was interrupted from his internal battle by the conference room door bursting open. Silently saying a pray of thanks as he realised the tent in his pants had subsided dramatically, he turned around and was surprised to see that Kite had entered the room.
"What did you do to Lilly?" Kite demanded angrily, walking over and standing directly in front of Scotty.
"Nothing!" Scotty defended himself immediately.
"That's not what it looked like to me! I just saw her practically running out of here with her face all red. She didn't even turn around when I called her name! Now what did you do?" Kite demanded again, Scotty suddenly realising why he had such a good reputation as a prosecutor.
"Look Kite, we were...talking, her phone rang and she left abruptly. I don't know where she went ok?" Scotty responded, his voice raising at the accusations "And I'd NEVER hurt her".
"Oh, is that why you dragged her across the dance floor, cos you'd never hurt her? Sure as hell didn't look like it to me Valens!" Kite continued to yell, edging closer and closer to Scotty.
Scotty felt so ashamed. He'd been so consumed by his anger and jealousy when he saw Lilly and Kite together that he'd just acted in the heat of the moment. He hadn't meant to hurt Lilly, but he suddenly realised with horror that he'd dragged a 7 month pregnant woman around a hotel by her arm, and that had to have hurt.
"So Valens, if all you were doing was talking, then why was her face so red and why was she leaving in such a hurry? I swear to God, Valens, if you've hurt her it will be the last thing you'll ever do!" Kite snarled into Scotty face, leaning even closer into him.
"I DON'T KNOW WHERE SHE WENT AND I DIDN'T HURT HER" Scotty yelled, shoving Kite away. The anger he had been feeling earlier flooding back. "Why don't you call her? Oh, that's right you broke up! Didn't want to have anything to do with your Ivy League arse!"
Scotty saw the anger flash in Kite's eyes, and for the second time that evening, his eyes glimpsed a flash of human flesh as Kite's fist headed toward Scotty. Years of boxing training kicked in and he grabbed Kite's arm and threw a defensive jab before Kite's fist could connect with Scotty's flesh.
Kite stumbled backwards but recovered quickly and he tackled Scotty. A scuffle ensured between the detective and the ADA, and at that moment Scotty couldn't think of a better way to work off some of the unsatisfied lust than fighting with the former lover of his partner, the mother of his child. Both men were startled from their fight upon hearing the sound of smashing glass. Looking down they realised they had barrelled into one of the tables and knocked a stack of champagne glasses to the floor, causing some of them to smash.
The ADA and detective stared at each other, each breathing heavily following the recent exertion of their fight.
"Look Kite" Scotty began in between gulps of air "I didn't hurt her and I'm sorry for what happened on the dance floor. I just...don't know what came over me. We came in here, argued, then she got a phone call and left. She wouldn't tell me who it was from and I don't know where she went". Only a deaf man would have missed the remorse in Scotty's voice.
Kite glanced across at Scotty briefly. "You know, when Rush and I were together I always wondered if there was something going on between you two" he stated matter of factly.
"There wasn't" Scotty confirmed immediately.
"I know, Lilly already told me this evening and I believe her" Kite said quietly.
He paused then and looked at Scotty, as if he was trying to decide whether to tell Scotty something or not. Finally Kite sighed heavily and looked over at Scotty.
"Look Valens, I don't know what's going on between you and Lilly"
Scotty opened up his mouth to deny what Kite was implying but was stopped when Kite held up his hand.
"Just hear me out ok? Lilly and I, we broke up because I wanted the white picket fence life. The wife, the dog, the kids - but Lilly, she couldn't give it to me. I loved her, but we wanted different things. Talking to her tonight while we were dancing, she seemed happy, really, really happy, so whatever is going on between you two Valens, don't blow it." Kite said sincerely.
"There's nothing going on between us, Kite" Scotty denied.
"So you make a habit of dragging your partner across the dance floor in front of all her work colleagues when there's nothing going on do you?" Kite replied pointedly.
For once Scotty was at a loss for words.
Sensing that he may have got through to the detective, the ADA headed towards the door.
"I'll pay for the glasses, Scotty" he said quietly. "And Valens..."
Scotty turned to look at Kite who was now standing by the door looking directly at him.
"Look after her".
And with that Kite left the conference room.
Scotty picked himself off the floor and started pacing again. Kite had a point, partners didn't drag each other across the room without a reason. But the way he had been acting, well it had been more like a jealous boyfriend than Lilly's partner this evening. But he wasn't her boyfriend, he was her partner. The father of her child. That's all he had been doing tonight, looking out for the interests of his unborn child. He had a right to look after his unborn child because there was no way he had...
SHIT!
He did.
A wave of realisation so strong hit Scotty that he felt like his legs were going to collapse beneath him as the reason for recent behaviour became clear. His constant thinking of Lilly, the sadness and loneliness he felt whenever she wasn't near, his constant desire for her, it all lead to one thing...
He liked Lilly Rush.
Scotty gulped in shock at the realisation and searched for his mobile phone. He had to find Lilly before it was too late.
Just to clarify, wanking is a British slang word for masturbation as I'm not sure if it's used outside the UK or not.
Oh, and how ironic is this? I had a similar situation with my strappy sandals on Friday as I couldn't lean, bend and twist my back/legs to do up the stupid buckles (due to a back problem rather than pregnancy I hasten to add!). My poor Dad (who was taxi driver for the night) ended up lying on the floor of my apartment doing them up! However, one of the good things about being drunk: you can always get your shoes off without having to undo the buckles! Weird thing is, these chapters are written in advance so there is no way I would have known I couldn't do up the buckles up on my shoes when I wrote the scene with Lilly.
Hope you enjoyed and I will endeavour to update soon. However, I have another party to go to next weekend and although I intend not to drink too much, that's what I said about Friday...