Okay, here's chapter 24!

Bella's ilness is explained in this chapter but please remember I am not a doctor! I just did a little research on the subject.

I hope you like it and thanks to everyone who reviews!

Thanks to Irebporti, as always!

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Chapter 24 - Revelations

EPOV

I managed to catch Bella just before she hit the ground. . She immediately began to shake on my arms.

"What's happening?" Alice's voice came from behind me while I gently placed Bella on the floor.

Her small body kept convulsing while everyone gathered around us.

"Edward?"

"I think she's having a seizure." I immediately rolled Bella onto her side so she wouldn't choke and placed a pillow under her head so she wouldn't hit it. "Emmett, call dad! Now!"

Emmett immediately picked up his phone and started dialing.

"What can we do?"

"Nothing. We have to wait until she becomes conscious. Call an ambulance, Alice." She took off her cell phone right away.

I almost couldn't think straight as Bella's convulsions slowly came to an end. I made sure she was breathing without any difficulties before placing a hand on her cheek.

"Dad says to keep her in place and wait for the ambulance. He'll be waiting at the hospital. Is she okay?" I simply shrugged as I sat on the floor beside her.

Everyone was getting things ready so we could go the hospital as soon as the ambulance arrived.

I could see Alice crying quietly as Jasper tried to keep everyone calm.

"Please wake up, Bella." A knot had formed in my throat as I fought the urge to scream.

I didn't care about anything else but her anymore. I didn't care if I was supposed to be angry with her, if I was supposed to be hurt, or if she had ripped my damn beating heart out four months ago, effectively sending me into an emotional lock down.

The lock down was gone now. Bella needed me and I was once again willing to do anything for her – to help her.

I was suddenly scared, too. I couldn't lose Bella...

Not in a permanent way...

I shook my head, trying to stop those thoughts. Bella would be all right. This wasn't anything serious. With the proper care she would be healthy again soon. She had to…

I kept looking at her, controlling my own breathing and waiting for her to wake up. People who had seizures normally regained their senses rather quickly.

But then again, I didn't really know anything about what was happening to Bella. All I knew is that Alice had been right...

When she did open her eyes to look at me I felt immediately relieved. At least she was awake.

It had to mean something good, right?

"Edward..."

"Bella!" She tried to move a little but I didn't allow her to. She should be in this position until the ambulance got here.

"What happened?"

"You had a seizure but everything will be alright. We already called an ambulance." She took a deep breath and nodded sadly.

"I don't want to go to the hospital..."

"Please don't be stubborn about this, Bella. You have to go to the hospital." She nodded again as Emmett got closer to me and leaned in so he could talk to Bella.

"Are you okay, honey?" She looked up at him and slowly nodded before turning her gaze back to me.

When she started to close her eyes again I made her look straight at me.

"Don't close your eyes. Keep talking to me, Bella."

"What do you want me to talk about?"

"Whatever you want!" She seemed to think for a second while she looked around. She seemed so scared and small…

"Edward? I'm so sorry…"

"For what, sweetheart?"

"For hurting you. I…" I placed my thumb in her lips, not allowing her to go on.

I couldn't hear this now. Not when I knew she was scared. Not when I was scared.

Whatever she had to tell me, I wanted her to do it because she thought it was the right time, not because she felt she was obliged to.

Truthfully, I was also afraid of what she had to say. I couldn't stand hearing her say that although she was sorry she had hurt me, she just didn't love me anymore.

I took a deep breath and kept caressing her face as gently as I could.

Why was that ambulance taking so long? I was presently fighting the urge of caring her to my car and driving to the hospital myself, but I knew Carlisle was right.

We should wait for those who knew what to do.

"Tell me about the last good book you read." Her eyes welled up and I wiped away the one tear that fell down her cheek before she started to speak again.

I didn't pay much attention to what she was saying as she slowly told me about the last book she read.

I was too concentrated on the feel of her soft skin underneath my fingertips and on the movements her mouth made as she spoke.

It helped calm me down and I needed to be calm more than anything. I couldn't freak out right now. I had to take care of her, keep her awake.

I only moved from her side when the ambulance got here and the paramedics rushed to her side.

I stood there watching as they prepared Bella and took her to the ambulance and only came out of my trance when Emmett placed his hand on my shoulder and shook me.

Bella looked so small and frail like that...

"Edward, are you okay?" I turned around to look at Emmett and slowly shook my head. I could see he was as worried as I was and that scared me even more.

Emmett never worried about anything unless it was truly serious.

"I'm… I'm scared." Terrified… Terrified of losing her again. Forever this time.

"Everything is going to be okay. Dad will be at the hospital when we get there and Bella will be alright."

"Yes, I know. Let's go."

--

BPOV

The first thing I saw amidst the daze was Edward. He was standing in a corner, leaning in against the wall. He was looking down at the floor and he looked tired, maybe even sad.

Alice was beside him, I noticed, sitting on a chair as Jasper played with her spiky hair. Everyone was here…

I guess I must have passed out again on the way here. I didn't remember anything after I left Alice's apartment in the ambulance.

"Edward…" He immediately looked up and walked towards me when he noticed I was awake. "What happened?"

I saw Alice get up but she didn't walk towards me. She simply stood there looking at us.

"You fainted again. The doctors did a few tests and Carlisle will be here to talk to you soon. I can call someone if you want to, though." I shook my head and moved a little so I could sit up.

One of his hands was immediately on my back, helping me and placing a pillow there so I could lean in against it.

I was about to thank him when Carlisle came into the room, with a stack of papers on his hand, I imagined was my medical record.

He smiled sadly at me while getting closer. Edward immediately moved to the side, away from me.

"Bella I talked to the doctor that attended you and I'm afraid I don't have good news." I nodded while smiling weakly.

"I know, Carlisle." He seemed taken aback by my affirmation as well as everyone else in the room.

"You know?"

"Yes, I do…" Edward took a step forward and I could clearly see the worried look on his face.

"Bella?"

"Will you do me a favor?" He very slowly nodded, not knowing exactly what to say. "There's a phone number in my cell phone of a doctor named William Jackson. Can you call him and tell him that I'm exhibiting symptoms and that I agree with the surgery?"

"Surgery? What surgery?" As I didn't answer him right away he turned his attention to Carlisle. "What's going on, dad?"

"Bella has a meningioma. It's still very small as well as benign and operable." I snorted slightly at the optimistic tone of his voice while shaking my head.

"Yes, but that surgery has risks. Apparently I can lose my memory and even die, of course… And if I make it through it there's a long recovery period…" I could hear Alice gasp as Carlisle came to stand beside me.

"Every surgery has its risks, Bella. I'm sure that if we choose a good surgical team nothing bad will happen to you. You will pull through it but you really have to do it, you can't let it grow."

"I know, Carlisle. Don't worry, I'm well informed about this. I know I can't postpone it anymore." It was time, I couldn't keep delaying it. I had to do it.

"Bella?" I turned my attention from Carlisle to Edward. "For how long have you know about this?"

I lowered my eyes to my hands and whispered my answer, knowing perfectly well that he would be extremely angry with me.

"I've known about it for a little over five months."

FLASHBACK

I tried to keep listening to the doctor but couldn't concentrate on anything else besides the C.T. imagery in front of me.

A tumor, a very small one. So small it was almost insignificant. Except, it wasn't.

"Bella, as you can see there the meningioma is in a relatively accessible area of your brain. If we operate we should be able to completely remove it and you'll more than likely be alright." Should…

"And what are the risks of that surgery?" When had my voice become so small?

"Well every brain surgery has its risks. The brain is a very sensitive organ so there's the possibility of brain damage, memory loss…"

"Or death?" He didn't expect me to ask that right away but nodded anyway,

"Yes, there is that possibility but it is very small. As I said, your tumor is located in an accessible area."

"And when you say brain damage you mean it can range from a tiny thing to me completely depending on somebody else, right?"

"I'm afraid so, yes…" Without taking my eyes off the C.T. I shook my head.

"No."

"What?"

"I don't want the surgery..."

"But Bella…" I didn't let him finish.

"I don't want to do it. What else can I do?" He shook his head and sighed.

"I don't agree with it but it is your decision. Since it is a small tumor we can monitor its growth. There is a chance it won't grow but if does or if you start experiencing symptoms we will have to operate or it will increase the pressure in your brain and you will die." I nodded.

At least it would give me more time.

END OF FLASHBACK

"Five months?" It seemed like everyone had said that at the same time, bringing me back to the present.

I nodded, not taking my eyes off of my hands.

It seemed like a deafening silence had fallen over the room as I left my memories behind. Edward was the first one to speak.

"Five months. Bella, does this have anything to do with…" He didn't finish his question, opting for another one instead but I knew perfectly well what he was going to ask. Did this have anything to do with me breaking up with him? Yes, it did. I didn't want him to have to go through it.

"Why didn't you do anything about it?"

"I did. I've been monitoring it." Edward was clearly going to say something else, probably say that wasn't considered as doing something, but Alice didn't allow him to.

She turned to look at Carlisle with a questioning look on her face.

"What exactly is a meningioma?"

"A meningioma is a type of tumor that develops in the membrane that surrounds the brain. In 90% of the cases it's benign. In Bella's case it is apparently still very small and from what I can tell Bella has only started experiencing symptoms recently, am I right?" I nodded. "How did you discover it?"

"I discovered it when I did a full check up a while ago." Carlisle simply nodded as Alice made another question.

Everyone else in the room seemed to be listening attentively to what Carlisle had to say.

"Is that normal? Not having symptoms for a while, I mean."

"Yes. This meningioma is very small, as I said, they grow on the surface of the brain and they normally don't produce any symptoms until they start to grow, which is apparently what's happening to Bella now.." That damn silence fell over the room again and I could feel everyone looking at me.

I could tell they were all wondering the same thing. They wanted to know why I hadn't said anything to anyone and why I hadn't done anything yet.

"Bella, you have monitored the growth of the tumor so far, am I right?"

"Yes, Carlisle. I didn't want to operate then so Dr. Jackson gave me the option of monitoring it since it was very small. Besides I didn't have any real symptoms. As I said, I only found out about it because I felt dizzy once and Edward made me go to the doctor. Dr. Jackson and I agreed that if it the tumor started to grow of I felt anything out of the ordinary I would operate…" I trailed off, and took a deep breath before continuing, "Immediately." Carlisle nodded while looking at the papers on his hand.

"Yes, monitoring the growth of these tumors is common before surgery. You do have to operate now, Bella. You already made it worse by not acting immediately." Edward kept shaking his head, obviously not satisfied with the fact that I had waited this long to make this decision when I knew it was only worse.

"I don't understand, Bella! Even if the tumor was small why haven't you operated it yet? Surgery is the recommendable treatment in these cases, after all!" The tone of Edward's voice made me flinch slightly. He truly was angry with me.

He didn't understand. I knew he wouldn't…

The damn surgery had more risks than possibilities of success.

I wasn't worried with the prospect of dying. It scared me of course, but the other possibilities did even more.

Brain damage, memory loss… If any of that happened I'd be worthless. I wouldn't be able to do anything… people would have to do it for me

I wouldn't be able to be alone for too long. I would have to rely on other people for everything. I would have to constantly be taken care of. I would be deprived of my memories.

And then there was the long recovery period…

That was why I broke up with Edward before this got to this point. I didn't want to be a burden for him.

By breaking up with him I though I'd be able to spare him. I believed he wouldn't want to be here when this happened and so wouldn't be affected by it, wouldn't suffer.

I was apparently wrong.

He was still here. He was angry at me but he was still here. I wondered for how long…

"Can I just be left alone?" Edward huffed loudly.

"No, you cannot be left alone. You've known about this for five fucking months and haven't done anything. Are you crazy?" The angry and sad tone of his voice made me look up at him as a traitor tear fell down my face.

"Maybe I am…" He shook his head while walking to the door. He turned around to look at me and let me have a piece of his mind.

"What you don't understand is that by not taking care of yourself you're not only making it worse for you but you are also hurting everyone around that loves you, cares for you and didn't want to see you have to deal with the consequences of a stupid decision." As he left I could feel everyone's eyes on me as more tears started to fall down my face.

"Why didn't you tell me anything, Bella?"

"Not now, Alice. Please not just now. I just want to be alone." She nodded sadly and took Jasper's hand as she left the room.

Emmett and Rosalie followed them without a word as I wiped the tears away.

"I'll call your doctor and set everything for the surgery."

"Thank you, Carlisle." He nodded once and left the room.

Edward's words rang in my head. Hurting everyone was the last thing I wanted to do but I was so scared at the time, still was.

I was alone for about an hour after that until my doctor came in to talk to me. Carlisle had called him and he immediately came to tell me what would happen and how things would be done.

I listened to everything he had to say and established a date for the operation. I couldn't run away anymore…

Edward was the first one to come back to my room after the doctor left. He didn't immediately approach me, though.

He stood at the door leaning in against the wall and pinching the bridge of his nose for what seemed hours until I spoke.

"Edward…" He looked up at me, not letting me finish.

"Tell me why you didn't want to operate that tumor five months ago, Bella." I took a deep breath preparing myself for this inevitable conversation.

"Truthfully?" He nodded.

"Always."

"I didn't want to forget. There's the possibility I will and it scared me. It still does. There are so many things I don't want to forget! I want to be able to remember you, remember us. I want to remember exactly how you looked when I first saw you. I want to be able to remember how your crooked smile always managed to make my heart beat faster. I want to remember every second we spent together and every song I heard you play. I want to remember crazy Alice and inconvenient Emmett. I want to never forget the person I was when I was with you and how you could make me feel good about myself." Tears were falling down my face at this point and I couldn't stop them. "I want to remember growing up with my eccentric mother and I want to remember who I am, what I like, which books I read and which songs I love… That's why I didn't do the surgery then. I was trying to make time. I was trying to find a way of not forgetting but it doesn't matter now, I'll have to do the surgery anyway."

He pushed himself off the wall and slowly walked towards me.

He seemed a little taken aback by my outburst but I guess that was more than understandable. I had just thrown that out there.

"It does matter, Bella. You won't forget. I promise you."

"You do?"

"Yes and you know I keep my promises. Especially the ones I make to you. Everything will be alright, you'll see." I nodded, hoping he was right.

He seemed to a little less angry with me after that and slightly leaned in towards me.

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier but… Can't you see that by not doing anything you put your own life in risk?" I took a deep breath and nodded.

I didn't want to fight with him again. I didn't have the strength to do it anymore.

"I know, Edward. There's no need to tell me that. I think it has already been established that I was stupid." He took another step towards me and hesitantly ran his fingers along my face, making goose pumps cover all my skin.

"Did you talk to your doctor?"

"Yes, I did. They'll let me go home in a few hours if I promise to behave and don't do anything that requires too much physical effort. I'll go through with the surgery in a week." A week… That was my deadline.

"That's good. I talked to my father and he explained a few things to me about the surgery. He says your doctor is one of the best and he's sure everything will be alright." I tried to smile up at him while leaning in against his touch.

I guess founding out I had a problem in my brain wasn't such a surprise. I never seemed to think like everyone else. Maybe that was the reason.

When Edward stopped touching my face I looked up at him and sighed.

"Well this surely explains a lot, doesn't it?" He raised an eyebrow at me as I shrugged. "I always knew there was something wrong with my head."

"There is nothing wrong with your head!"

"Edward…"

"You know what I mean, Bella. This doesn't change who you are in any way. After the surgery you'll go back to being exactly who you always were. You'll go on being perfect." He placed one of his hands on my neck and massaged it before moving to play with the strands of my hair.

I didn't quite understand why he was doing this – why he was here with me – when he was clearly still hurt by what I did but I had to confess I was grateful for his presence.

I was sure he was just waiting to see how things would go before leaving.

"I'm far from perfect…" He took a deep breath and shook his head.

"I'm not going to discuss this with you now." I nodded, deciding to change the subject before and argument between us started.

I was comfortable with him here with me. I didn't want to spoil it so easily.

"You talked to your father, right?" He nodded. "Okay, I have a question….Will I have to shave my head?"

"A little. Just where the incision will be." He touched my head, showing me where the incision would probably be as I sighed. "It's just hair, Bella. It grows back."

"You used to like my hair."

"I still do. Your hair is beautiful but like I said it'll grow back. You'll be beautiful either way." I once again smiled,

"Thank you, Edward." He moved to brush a fallen strand of my hair away from my face as Carlisle came into the room.

"You're welcome."