Entry 24

Will

My eyes scanned the vicinity of my ship. Taking in the flags of the numerous pirate vessels that all had been heaved to the masts to celebrate this moment of ultimate victory, the crew cheering in unison at the defeat of the Endeavour and dancing on the decks of their respective vessels as they saw the remains of the Company Armada to pull back. Deciding not to fight after the destruction of their flagship, my attention lastly drawing away from the receding warships to the smoke that still lingered above the spot in the sea where Beckett's ship had just sunken. Me experiencing a slight twinge of quilt as my eyes roamed about the debris of the exploded ship and found the countless bodies bouncing up and down in the once more calmed waves, but I knew the sinking of the Endeavour and the death of all of her crew had been inevitable…It had been their Commander who'd proclaimed a war against us, and now we'd just decided to make our final stand. As could be witnessed by the rejoicing of the pirates coming out of this final encounter triumphant, escaping with our lives and ending the Company's spilling of blood once and for all…or at least to have dealt a heavy blow to its undertakings outside worldwide trade.

With a sigh I turned my gaze away from the remains of the Endeavour and walked over to the gunwale, leaning onto the cracked, rotten wood that might've not been anymore covered in barnacles or seaweed, but had remained as damp and decayed from the Dutchman's years of roaming about at the bottom of the ocean. As I stroke the railing somewhat thoughtfully then and felt the in some perculiar way very familiar seeming grains of the swollen, uneven wood against my palm and cast my eyes briefly up to the sails that once more billowed pure white in the breeze, the changes the reversion of Calypso's curse had done to the ship caused me then to think about myself and how the moments preceding the final demise of Beckett had affected me. Changed me. Me now looking down at the bloody scar adorning my chest just above where my heart used to be, with a slight frown me then placing a hand against the previously carved open spot to feel…nothing. Even I'd had a small moment to adjust to me being alive despite of the fact that I clearly remembered to have died aboard this very ship, it still not quite sinking in what had actually happened. What my father had told me the minute I'd opened my eyes again for my greatest shock, discovering myself breathing air regardless of the feeling of blood not anymore pumping in my veins and me not hearing the familiar thumping of heartbeats in my ears when the truth had set me under a brief, addling panic. Especially after I'd learned of my new post as the next Captain of the Flying Dutchman and received the key to open the Chest that I'd next behold to preserve my own heart, me to have not needed any more proof of the organ to be mine as the second I'd gazed upon the contents I'd felt in in my at the time empty chest…The bizarre beats of the heart despite of it being apart from my body, wanted I or not taken the amount of animosity I felt towards the man partly responsible of my death at that specific moment coming to understand Jones much better than I ever would've imagined…Me even symphatizing with him.

As I pondered upon my current circumstances and what they now hold in store for me, expected of me and of my new commission while I then eyed at the vast blue that had been brightened by the last of the clouds dispersing from blocking the sun, I had this harrowing feeling gnawing at me. Me understanding perfectly what my second chance in life meant and what I had to do to live up to the curse that was the thing I was to thank for saving me from death I'd been on the brink of losing the struggle against, it however coming with a price I but then remembered everything to have hinted towards since me first learning about the Dead Man's Chest and Jones' curse…Me having no choice but to pay it by allowing myself to be bound to the Dutchman, even if it meant relinquishing all that I now desired more than the life I'd been gifted at my last moments. By having but to accept this duty left to me by my predecessor to keep on living even if but a damned existence, me also having to be ready to let go of all that once had been my life. My purpose…And after hearing the stories about Jones and how he'd first come to Captain the Dutchman through Tia Dalma, Calypso, knowing what the burden of that duty had done to him and how the expense that came along with it had eventually grown too much for him to bear, corrupting him, I had to admit to be afraid. Terrified whether I could suffer through the task that was awaiting me…Because there was no doubt in my mind that my path from that day onward would be filled with close to nothing but pain and torment…However some light peeking at the end of it to push me to go on now that death was no longer the obstacle stopping me from tying up some loose ends.

Things hadn't indeed quite gone the way I had planned them…But in a way losing my heart and becoming the Captain of the Flying Dutchman was a better deal from any. Because had not Jack decided to have me pierce Jones' heart, and if my father hadn't cut out mine and placed it into the Dead Man's Chest to renew the curse at the moment of Jones' and my interlocked deaths, I wouldn't be alive after he had fatally impaled me with Norrington's rapier…And now I wasn't dead, as relative as that might've been, taken that I was a man with no living, beating heart within my body…Still, although branded with the same purpose as Jones and fated to ferry souls of the deceased to afterlife instead of mine, after ten years of fulfilling my duty I would be able to be with Miranda again.

Tender smile visited my lips then at the thought of her. For the joy of me knowing that I was to see her again, perhaps not as the same and especially lesser man that I used to be, but still as the same one who'd vowed to return for her someday...And although I would perhaps have to face the painful reality that that day would indeed possibly take ten years to finally come, and during that time everything could change entirely with her having children of her own and a life I was no longer part of in other way than in her memory, we'd made a promise. And I would endure those years leading to the end of that decade that would keep me from her gladly…because I knew that even if she would come find happiness, she would always be waiting for me to keep my word. Just like I felt those years to not to pass fast enough for me to be able to lay my eyes on her again, because I would. Nothing being able to stop me from keeping my word now that I had saved my father by the breaking of the previous curse that had had him and the rest of Jones' crew tied to their doomed existence. Not even the restored enchantment in turn trapping me to this vessel being able to fully keep me from her, even it would surely have its downsides very much like the obligations of her own at the faraway day of reunion. But as I now knew for certainty that I loved her…I also knew I would've given even my life to be able to go after her right there and then, to perhaps see to it that that decade would come to an end much quicker than through the natural pass of time.

"Orders sir?"

I turned my head to the side at the sound of my father's voice, it however taking a moment before I could face him. His so drastically changed appearance still taking me aback, although I was once more looking at a far more familiar looking man I recalled from my early childhood as my unmistakable father…Who looked so much like me, as I'd come to find the moment I'd first gazed upon his manlike form devoid of all deforming features of sea creatures and other aquatic parasites that had become part of him along the years of under Jones' captainship. Me looking back at my smiling father for a moment before could feel my face fall, sadness creeping into my voice as I cast my eyes down, my own smile despondent.

"You're no longer bound to this ship. You're free."

"Aye. It's a fine thing, but…" my father replied, coming to stand by my side and his dissenting tone caused my grim expression to soften a tad as I gauged at him in confusion. Him as well staring towards the sea before his lips curved up into another smile, him locking gazes with me, his mind set. "…By my reckoning I still have a debt that has to be paid…If you'll have me."

One part of me wanted to reject him. To tell him to leave the Dutchman and go to live a life he was long ago denied from by having himself trapped to the service of Jones, but that other part that had spent years in searching and yearning for a father was then but moved by his willing decision to sacrifice any chance of freedom to stay. Just for me, genuinely thankful smile rising on my lips then as well as I nodded at him in consent, glancing towards the helm behind us. Knowing that if my heart would've been intact, it would've jumped for joy and driven away at least some of my current melancholy. "On the wheel then Mr. Turner."

"Aye, Captain Turner."

Captain Turner…No, it didn't quite yet sound right. Neither did this whole situation seem so, the fact that now that I was standing on the deck of the Dutchman like so many times before but only as her appointed Captain, it felt like I had never been anywhere else. Like this ship had become part of me, as if I knew every inch of it by heart and belonged with her…only that the heart that was currently safely locked away within the Chest, buried into one of the travel trunks I'd found from the Captain's cabin, belonged somewhere completely else…My once again resurfaced thoughts of Miranda bringing me eventually to Elizabeth and I shifted my eyes from the sea below up to the Black Pearl. Finding myself to be stared at by the woman herself, her as well standing on the quarterdeck as I then spotted Jack to be at his familiar spot at the wheel of his own ship, next giving out an order for the crew after Elizabeth commanded him to turn the ship about. To return back to the place where the Endeavour had went down, in order to go find any survivors from amongst the floating refuse. As I returned Elizabeth's gaze and made an uneasy frown, aware that there was a certain pressing conversation that finally needed to be had between us, I then made the decision of following Jack's cue. Leveling a significant look to my father's direction as straightened my posture, leaving the gunwale to go over to the helm as well.

"Bring her about…We'll return to see if there's anyone who came out of the sinking alive."

"Aye, Captain."

Aboot halfway to the scene of the previous battle my father broke the befallen silence after measuring me from the corner of his eye, picking up my evident longing and woe. Making his own deductions after to have witnessed me gazing towards Elizabeth a moment ago, while still living under the impression the cause for my wistfulness to lay in her.

"This ship has a purpose again. And where we are bound, she cannot come", he spoke. Causing me to gasp as I'd fallen into my own musings again, me returning his earnest but also compassionate stare only baffled, until I saw him glance towards the deck of the Pearl as well to make his point. Me blinking in understanding, but didn't indicate him to be correct with his misled presumptions as he continued to explain what I'd already been made aware of the moment I'd woken up heartless and with a Captain's title. Me however noticing there to be slight hesitation in his voice then, him perhaps doubting whether or not he'd done the right thing to play his part in making me the Captain of the Dutchman, and in so doing although saving me, knowing to have parted me from the one I loved most. "One day ashore, ten years at sea. It's a steep price for what's been done."

"Depends on the one day", I answered curtly, my smile however soon dying as I looked down, letting myself to turn sad again for a moment for the surprise of my father who indeed didn't see me look at Elizabeth this time regardless of my remarkable tone. Him continuing to eye at me in bafflement, watching me to stare down at my scar with longing eyes before I faced the horizon. Beholding the majority of the Company ships to have retreated close to out of sight, where but a couple still lingered at the vicinity. Perhaps planning on doing the same as us. "But at the present that day shall be years away from arriving."

"It doesn't seem so to me, son", father responded with a hint of amusement, nodding to the direction of Elizabeth who was still gazing at us while wearing a forlorn mien. Her as well aching to have a talk with me, which I was as well partly afraid of engaging in due to the guilt and regret that were all so familiar from the time I'd been in the same situation with Miranda. Me letting out a gloomy laugh as my father continued. "Go on and be with her, Will. This is the only day you can before you have to be parted from her as your duty stipulates. That is our fate."

"I would not want nothing more than to spend the ever waning hours with the one I love, would it not be impossible…For she is too many miles away by now for me to be able catch up with her. Sailing with her husband to welcome a future I'll have to wait ten more years to be part of", I told him, bemusing him, until after a brief moment of thought he finally arrived to the right conclusion.

"Miranda?"

I gazed into my father's surprised eyes affirmatively, my own gentle this time around. "Before I got engaged with Elizabeth, for a long while I was set on marrying her. Soon after meeting her falling in love with her and without thinking asking her to marry me…But because we were too young to wed and chose to wait…I ruined everything by forgetting how important she's always been to me. Now knowing why I never could completely be content with what I had with Elizabeth, as it wasn't the same. She wasn't her, and because of that I couldn't find the same kind of happiness with her than I'd had with Miranda since first asking her to be my wife."

"And now you think to have found it again, despite of the fact that she has married another man and is to live the next ten years apart from you?"

"Aye. I love her, and will do everyhting I can to see her again. Even if it would mean abandoning my duty and turning into a monster like Jones, I will meet her again."

My father was silent at first before answered, me not being able to tell did he support or rather disapprove of the course I'd decided to take in regards to the women in my life, but either way in this particular matter his opinion wouldn't have fazed me. However as expected he proved himself to be a proper parent by allowing me to make my own choices, not openly expressing his dissent if he harbored any, taken that he and Miranda hadn't exactly come to have ideal terms, but only seemed to agree with me. Flashing me a concurring smile as tipped his head towards me. "Then perhaps you should tell all this to Elizabeth instead of me. She is still waiting for you. And deserves to hear where your heart has come to truly lie…"

Neither of us couldn't help but share a slight laugh at my father's previous comment, me however then turning back to serious as I made an agreeing nod. Realizing that I had to go over to the Pearl to clear things out once and for all…In addition to offering answers to some of the questions Elizabeth might've had about my supposed death, taken that she'd been right there with me when I'd been wounded and finally succumbed to the injury.

"You're right…I must speak with her."

I saw my father to nod before his attention returned back to the vast ocean, me releasing a sigh before in a split of a second caused a scare amongst the crewmen of the Pearl as made myself appear onto the quarterdeck. Not quite knowing exactly how I did it, but there I was. Ogled at in utmost shock by those of the crewmen present who'd come to know me, their widened eyes sizing me up in shock as I returned their gazes in slight amusement, although this manner of me popping out of thin air was as odd to me as it was to them. My own eyes scouring the familiar and not so much faces of the pirates, before they set onto Elizabeth's relieved countenance. Me releasing another sigh but broke into a heartening smile as saw her eye at me in curt disbelief, until she ran up to me. With but a couple of strides closing the distance between us and threw her arms around me with a delighted exclaim, me returning the gesture in fleeting unease before gave myself the permission to relax. My gaze then peering to my right to take in Jack, who was eyeing at us with a wide smirk, leaning against the wheel as he ackowledged me with a welcoming raise of his chin. Me not being able to deter a slight grin as well as returned his stare, nodding at him.

"Jack."

"Captain Turner."

"Oh, Will…I'm so glad that you're alive!" Elizabeth breathed, separating from me after giving me another short squeeze, me leveling a soothing look at her as she took a moment to gauge at me. Her overjoyed smile however fading and she flinched as her eyes next fixated onto the scar that peeked from under my collar. As she raised a tentative hand to touch it me capturing her fingers before contact, giving her palm a slight, reassuring squeeze in turn before for her confusion released her.

"Aye. I'm alright."

"Back at the Dutchman…I thought I lost you forever", she said, half to herself as in the end undaunted by my previous avert of her touch she still swept a hand across my cheek. Me not helping but sighing yet again as closed my eyes, before moving my face out of her reach after allowing her fingers to smooth my cheeks for a bit.

"You must thank Jack for that…For if he hadn't been there to guide my hand to pierce Jones' heart, neither would I be here now", I replied, beyond grateful tone in my voice as then both Elizabeth and I faced the pirate in question. The man naturally not appearing all that humble about the commendation he'd just been given, but under all that supposed self-righteousness I could tell Jack to be truly glad as well to see me standing aboard his ship…That his on a whim carried out plan to save my life had worked out after all, despite of him letting go of his own intentions in becoming the new Captain of the Flying Dutchman himself and gaining eternal freedom through immortality that came along with the title. Elizabeth tearing up a bit as she indeed leveled a thankful look into Jack's eyes, before she gazed down to get herself together. Me raising my eyebrows at Jack as he waved an impassive hand to our direction.

"Ye are more than welcome to return the favor anytime, mate. For starters let a certain debt a certain individual used to owe to the certain previous skipper slide."

My smile widened, as did Jack's, when we then stared at one another in a brief understanding, me tipping a consenting head at him. "Consider it done."

"So…you are the new Captain?" Elizabeth asked, not being able to believe it, even it was the only thing that made it possible for me to stand before her now. Me making a rigid nod as matched her stare.

"My father cut out my heart and placed it within the Dead Man's Chest, consummating the curse. And allowing me to live", I explained, Elizabeth's eyebrows wrinkling in wonder, but partly dejected as well when she internalized my words.

"So the curse wasn't broken even after Jones' death?" she asked, me flashing her an equally disspirited smile.

"The crew was released from the curse. I just simply became the new bearer of it."

Elizabeth next gazed into my eyes miserably, knowing as much as I did what that statement really meant, her simply eyeing at me for a moment in silence before made an understanding nod. Smiling at me ruefully as set her hands on my chest, to have come at least in some terms with the truth. "At least you're alive. That's all that matters."

There was a moment of silence as I didn't know what to say, in the end me only sighing yet again and removed her hands from my chest to take hold of them briefly, me this time leveling a serious look at her as walked her a bit farther from the others. Knowing that I could no longer prolong what I'd originally came aboard the Pearl to discuss with her.

"Elizabeth, we need to talk."

"Yes, well…this surely changes a lot of things", Elizabeth agreed, glancing down at my scar again significantly, but naturally was referring to something entirely else than I was. Me shaking my head at her as shortly took hold of her arms.

"I'm not talking about to my curse…But us."

Elizabeth was taken aback by this, her casting a quizzical look at me, but in the end she did nod in concur. Hint of shame in her eyes as they locked with mine. "Yes. There's more to be said than we perhaps have time for…"

"Elizabeth…What happened at the sandbank before the battle…is what I want to talk about. About Miranda and I."

Tardily Elizabeth caught up with my train of thought, a tad hurt as retreated a couple of steps, measuring me skeptically as behold my set features 'n' honest countenance. After a fleeting moment her lips curving up intae an icredulous, perceptive smile as she without a doubt recalled the events during the parlay, inclining her own head in further understanding.

"That kiss she gave you…wasn't for good luck, now was it?" she questioned, her finding the answer from my eyes that looked straight into hers, but I in the end nodded again after releasing a breath. Sorry to see her that upset while the truth was finally revealed to her, but like once before when I'd had to express my current emotions to a woman it couldn't be helped…Her needing to hear what had been in my mind since realizing to still harbor feelings for Miranda…the only person I could find genuine happiness with that wasn't mere cherishing but a concept of it.

"This untrue relationship you and I have come to have, this pretentious tie we've both mistaken as love that drove us to seek a life together…isn't real. And I think it never was…Not at least to me", I continued, givenly bemusing Elizabeth even further, until she looked at me but confused.

"But we are betrothed. To be married, you…love me", she stated, matter-of-factly, but as she was confronted with my apologetic, earnest bearing she came to realize the validity of that claim not to be as unwavering as she'd believed so far. Me feeling awful for that misery that I then saw consume her irises that fixated to my face in disbelief, me leveling an honest look at her as made a slight, regretful frown.

"I did care for you. Long time ago I became smitten with you in a way that I couldn't to any other girl…But when I met Miranda everything changed. She might've not been as beautiful or sopisthicated as you had been to me to that point, but despite of her not resembling the dream girl I'd so far fancied, I fell in love with all that she was not that made her different out of all women I knew. But when you suddenly showed to have feelings for me, the kind I'd years harbored as my greatest secret and which were abruptly returned by you, I chose to invest in that feeling that I assumed as true love for to have felt something along the lines of it since I was a lad…But I failed to realize that I was already in possession of it. In a form of a woman I betrayed and whose heart I broke by believing to have fallen for another…Where in reality I could never forget her, despite of supposedly comitting myself to you."

"So…what you're trying to say is…"

"I love Miranda. And I want to share a life with her. Curse or no curse, it is her I want to be with. And when or if the time comes…to marry."

Everyone within the earshot had went silent, including Jack, who very shamelessly was eavesdropping to each word exchanged between us, and granted he had his own interests to do so…Elizabeth however appearing far too upset by me revelation to his evident liking, it clearly being hard for her to accept everything I'd just told her, which also was understandable, taken that we'd went as far as gotten engaged under a belief of sharing such bond of actual love. With more tender eyes me daring myself to take hold of her hands again briefly, claiming back her shortly diverted attention.

"I realize the truth is but cruel to you, and I know that you may not find it in yourself to understand, nor forgive me for playing with both of your feelings in the process of trying to figure out my own…and who I loved. But now I know. And can only beg for your forgiveness to have led you astray for so long, given you false hope of us being able to build a future together. For you are not a woman for me, Elizabeth…And you deserve to be treasured by someone who truly understand the value of having you as their wife...But it is not me. I'm sorry."

"I can't believe she actually managed to steal you from me", Elizabeth stated, silently, and I frowned at her comment with mixed feelings at the thought of her to have not paid heed to anything I'd just told her because of the rivarly that had apparently been brewing between her and Miranda since the beginning, before I saw her make a sad smile. Resigned one, even more understanding on her mien as she then thought about my words and connected them with the events of past few weeks, indeed coming to see the truth perhaps even on her own without me needing to emphasize the credibility of my feelings. "But I suppose it shouldn't have come to me as great of a surprise as it did. Ever since you chose me, I always felt like I couldn't find that same Will from you that I'd always envied to give such unparalled admiration to Miranda whenever you were with me…Myself coming to suspect your ever growing fondness of her after learning you two to have been together since you left Port Royal and thought…that you'd come to have feelings for her. And I was right. She recaptured your heart the moment I started to push you away by doing exactly as she said…Taking you for granted and not really thinking of your feelings solely because I believed to know them by having you engaged to me."

It was our turn to exchange a look of mutual understanding, it relieving me tremendously that despite of the hurt my proclamation had brought upon her she was able to take it so well. Although there once again were tears in her eyes she still only smiled back at me when I gazed at her in gratitude, squeezing my hands this time briefly as searched for correct words to continue in a momentary hesitation.

"I wish you will make each other happy. As happy as you made me in that brief time that we were together."

My own smile came out dejected, but it was genuine nonetheless. Me eyeing at the woman I'd known close to half my life in true gratitude before this time without any reservations closed her into my arms curtly. To signify how thankful I was, and that despite of her no longer being the only woman of my life that young lad within me I'd mentioned still cared for her deeply. The amount of that love to have however changed, and I hoped above everything that regardless of us continuing on our separate paths from now on we would still remain friends that we'd always been in essence. Me seeing from her eyes her to hope the same, for the sake of that me allowing her to embrace me one more time in despair. Heartbroken herself, but soon enough she released me from her grip. Us however becoming unable to continue our conversation as abruptly a series of screams coming from the main deck broke the silence, claiming everyone's attention. Elizabeth turning on her heels in bafflement where I simply frowned in wonder at the sound of the male voice shouting downright hysterically, us immediately heading towards the stairs along with the crewmen and Jack, who however was already halfway through to the deck to be the first to learn what the commotion was about. The answer coming to us in form of a pair of men who had been apparently fished out of the water, actual survivors of the depredation of the late Endeavour…It however taking a moment for me to recognize them, as I at first couldn't hear Peter at all in that voice that was erupting from his throat in desperate tirades of self-loathing and guilt. His cries getting all drowned under the exclaims of the crewmen, so that we couldn't exactly make out what was it that he was saying before we were close enough.

I jogged down the steps in bafflement as had never seen Peter so upset, distraught beyond description, as he fought against the arms of Edward who was hauling him forward from the ship's gunwale, equally crestfallen look on his face. Uncharacteristic tears streaming down Peter's cheeks although he never let ayone see him cry, not even Miranda, as with faulty steps he finally arrived to the center of the deck with the help of his elder brother who finally released him. Leaving Peter stand there surrounded by the stupefied pirates, whom he didn't even seem to see with that drifting gaze of his that roamed about the deck desolate, before his attention focused on Jack who'd stopped a little farther away from him. Peter only adding to Jack's bewilderment to see him aboard his ship again by instead of flaring up into his usual contemptuous rage at the sight of him, Peter's upset state was cleared just for a moment as his eyes fixated to Jack. My chest squeezing in both perplexion and dismay as with a resolute jerk of his hand Peter then revealed his pistol, loading it, although all of us knew the powder to be wet before marched over to deadpan looking Jack. However surprising him as well by shoving the weapon into his hand, that heartbreaking expression of absolute sorrow taking over Peter again as he fell on his knees in front of Jack. Actual plead in his impassive voice then as he beckoned to the armed pistol with a slight tilt of his head, for the utmost puzzlement of both Elizabeth and I us watching him practically beg Jack to kill him, where Edward simply eyed at the pair with a pained frown. Not giving any indication of stepping in.

"You can do whatever you want with me, Sparrow. I no longer care. I don't want to live knowing I won't ever see her again", Peter breathed, hopeless as stared directly into Jack's grim eyes. Hanging his head as a sign of voluntary defeat, unheeding to everything. His inconsolable tone causing me to freeze as I gazed at my best friend in confusion, not understanding why he was pleading for Jack to take his life. As I followed Jack then to cast a thoughtful look down at Peter and cocked the pistol as if to truly fire it, me gasping for shock before with a sigh of relief observed him to simply shove it into his own belt in the end. This angering Peter whose this time flaming eyes shot up to Jack in familiar disdain, demanding him to shoot. Complete silence falling over the ship as everyone bore witness to Peter and Jack's exchange.

"Go on, do it! What is the matter with you, shoot me!" Peter bellowed in rage, however clear tint of deep sorrow never leaving his voice as he addressed nonchalant Jack, who simply returned Peter's hateful stare. Perhaps seeing the same as I did, as stopped Gibbs from preventing Peter to approach him as he next sprung to his feet, Peter taking hold of the lapels of Jack's coat and like a madman shook him, to antagonize him to take the pistol and put an end to it all. Lastly grabbing Jack's hand himself as reclaimed the pistol, shoving it back into Jack's fingers before positioned the weapon below his jaw for the horror of Elizabeth. Her neither to have ever seen Peter to behave so, like he'd indeed lost his mind. "Just pull the trigger and take your revenge, your dirty coward! I'm letting you to do it, so come on! Kill me! Kill me now!"

"Why kill something that is already dead, mate? And besides I don't think she would've wanted me to, taken that this must be a punishment harsh enough for ye", Jack replied then out of the blue, shocking Peter who stared back at Jack stunned before made an angry grimace. His hatred however quickly enough melting away into mere grief and his hand rose to sweep through his hair helplessly, him gazing about in an utter loss as again there was no end to his tears that started to fall. By this time Edward finally stepping in and taking a firm hold of Peter's shoulders, pulling him away from Jack just as Peter fell to his knees again in a series of snivels. Although he didn't break down crying himself, the Englishman not looking to be far from it as from time to time leveled sad glances down at his weeping brother as squeezed his shoulders encouragingly, as long as it took for Elizabeth and me to throng through the men gathered around them. Me calling out Peter's name repeatedly and finally also claiming his heedless become attention, after it was Edward who first received us with a taken aback look. It swiftly however turning into a despondent one as on the third try Peter's eyes finally snapped up to me, alarmed by my familiar voice and he returned my demanding stare but shocked again. Me however bypassing his baffling reaction as landed my own hands on his shoulders in turn, frowning at him in concern as searched his face, trying to see what was going on with him.

"Will? She said…She told me you were dead", Peter stated dumbfounded, bemusing me as well as I didn't understand what exactly he was getting at, yet alone how could he know about my supposed death. After blinking in surprise me only staring back at him as Peter eyed at me skeptically, also his eyes eventually falling to see the scar on my chest before they dropped to stare at the deck below in sadness. Not repsonding to me at first, as I took better hold of him Edward rising and leaving us to ourselves, continuing to observe us from the sidelines as Elizabeth as well knelt next to Peter. Placing a comforting hand on his, his fingers instantly squeezing around her palm in search for release to the pain he was under, as I continued to probe for the cause.

"What? Peter, what is wrong? What has happened?" I accosted, gauging at him questionably, however not to have been prepared for the impact his gaze had as it then locked with mine. Me having a feeling in my gut that it didn't bode well, but I couldn't bring myself not finding out what was it that had upset him so.

"She's dead…She's dead, Will. And it's all my fault", Peter said, quietly, barely able to say the words out loud. Although the answer was right in front of my nose and the bad inkling I got should've been enough to tell me what was wrong, me still only tilting my head at him curiously. Not following, even it should've been but obvious about whom he was talking about.

"Who is? Peter…"

"Miranda…She's dead."

I blinked, stupefied. "What?"

"She died when the Endeavour sunk."

I didn't at first internalize what he'd just said, only when Elizabeth came to question Peter's response at first, her incredulous voice waking me from my stunned daze.

"Miranda's…dead? But how?" she asked, in horror as she eyed at Peter in grave disbelief that was slowly taking over me as well, regardless of the harrowing sensation of dread that was creeping over me, me only eyeing at Peter in dissent. Aware that what he'd said about Miranda couldn't be true, as she hadn't even been here the moment the Endeavour had been taken down.

"I should've forced her to come with me. Dragged her off the ship with me immediately but…she refused to leave. She wanted to stay…Right after she claimed to have seen you die and that you would never come back", Peter specified, his eyes falling as he thought back on the moment he'd apparently jumped off the vessel before they peered back up to me.

"Did…the lass willingly stay aboard the Endevour till it blew up?" Gibbs interjected in dismay, sharing our sentiments, but I refused to believe him. trying to appear calm as replied, although I couldn't stop doubt gnawing at me the longer I returned my friend's stare.

"No. No, she isn't dead, Peter. She can't be…She was supposed to…" I started, my voice however failing at the sight of Peter's grim expression and the words got caught into my throat.

"The blasted ship never came! Pirates had intercepted it long before it could arrive to fetch her…So she was on deck when the attack begun. And got caught in the blasts of the cannons with us, till one of them killed her husband right in front of her."

I was petrified by these news, but in the end only frowned in denial. The doubt starting to turn into a realization bit by bit, even though I preferred to bypass it. My own voice cracking just slightly as I came to consider the possibility of her to have actually…"No. You're lying."

"I saw it with my own eyes Will!" Peter breathed, desperate as his fingers now fisted around the other lapel of my jacket, but in frustration rather than in anger as with Jack before. "…How she collapsed after getting hit by the shattered railing and was swallowed by the sea when I'd managed to return to retrieve her and haul her overboard. But just as I was about to jump into the water the ship exploded and I lost my hold of her, and when I resurfaced and searched the debris, screamed her name till no sound came out of me and scoured every corpse I came upon, I couldn't find her anywhere. Why? Because she was badly injured and couldn't stay afloat, drowning, and is on her way sinking to the bottom of this accursed ocean along with the ship!"

"It's true. After he released me from the brig and allowed me to escape before the attack begun, I rowed back out of concern over Randa and found him scouring the bodies frantically, screaming for her name…By the time she was nowhere to be seen to be rescued", Edward concurred, unspeakable agony reflecting through his eyes again, and why not? Miranda had been his sister as well…But it was exactly that given up, resigned mien of sorrow as well as the use of past tense in his speech that I couldn't come to accept, nor to adopt.

"No", I retorted, pain taking hold of me as my eyes moved from the Englishman to Peter, Elizabeth and back, stubbornly shaking my head in disbelief. Not believing him, although the manner he'd behaved after getting picked up from the ocean with Edward was enough proof for me to know him not to be lying…That it was true. That Miranda was…Me not being even able think about it as frowned at Peter's grief-stricken features skeptically, however as he then leveled a rueful, but gentle look into my eyes after glancing at Edward me finally knowing it was true.

"She's gone, Will. Our sister's gone."

"No", I cried out now, silently, the word coming out this time but breathlessly and comfortless as I came in terms with this unexpected loss. Elizabeth's arms finding their way onto mine as all I could think was Miranda and the last I'd seen her…still alive. The look that had been in her eyes after her lips had parted from mine back at the sandbank, the love they had hold when they'd met mine, and when I'd been convinced her to be the woman I could not go through life without. Fleeting numbness making me blind to everything around me as I couldn't stop myself from recollecting my words to her. That she should wait for me to come and find her when I would take her away for us to be finally together…The too painful resonance of those words breaking something within me then, something that couldn't ever be repaired now that I knew the last I'd hold my beloved was back at that sandbank. Edward's voice snapping me out of my stupor after a silence that had felt like dragging on for eons.

"Let us hope she's gone to a place where she can find peace that seemed hell-bent on eluding her when she was still alive", Edward remarked, setting a brief hand on Peter's shoulder again, who'd calmed down notably by then after letting the most of his woe to be unraveled through his previous fits. It being now me who was under the power of headstrong rebuttal, of grief and torment as Miranda's fate dawned on me in all of its horror and I arrived to the equally dreadful realization that I myself had played a part in her death. It being the cannons of my ship as well as the Pearl's that had torn through the Endeavour and send her to the bottom of the sea as well as everyone aboard her…including the only woman I loved. Whom I'd at the time believed to have been a safe distance away, far from the danger of getting caught up into the bloody skirmish between us and her uncle that had been my only consolation in this situation I'd found myself in after waking up as a changed man…Only for Peter to tell me that she'd been right there when the ship had caught fire and blown to smithereens...For me to have practically killed her myself. This knowledge crushing down on me my head bending down in desperation of my own, where my chest felt like erupting from all of the feelings that were surging through me that moment. It being in the end me who broke down at the thought of Miranda's demise, and all I could then do was to stare at the deck like Peter before. Miserable and deprived of everything to care for, but instinctively me soon taking hold of my friend who once more started to bewail over the wretched fate of his sister. In that moment of sorrow us finding each other again, squeezing one another in that shared sense of pain as I squeezed by eyes shut. Nothing to be able to describe the way I was currently feeling…but most of all I was rather empty. Like a real dead man.

"She didn't deserve this…She wasn't meant to die…Why Will, how…could I let this happen? When that bloody ship didn't show up, why didn't I shove her into that rowboat with McConaughey and tell her to go as far as she could? Why didn't I take her away when I still had the chance?!" Peter bemoaned, me naturally not being able to find the words to comfort him, as nothing would come to console me over the fact that I'd lost the woman I loved before I'd even gotten the chance to see her again. After drawing in a quick breath me only resting my head against Peter's, not speaking, but at that specific moment signaling him that he wasn't alone in his sorrow. For I shared it in all of its overpowering force, ending up wallowing in the dolorous memories that brought me no consolation for as long as Edward's hand next landed on my shoulder in turn. As I looked up to him, and after exchanging a sad look with him rose, getting enclosed into the comforting embrace of his, only then was I pushed over the edge by what he said next. His words taking away all of my self-control, making sure that somewhere within that cabin aboard the Dutchman my heart was dealt the finishing blow to ensure it would never beat again. Left there to bleed and shrivel intae a lifeless, unfeeling lump of meat I felt myself to have also become.

"She loved ye more than life, Will. Never forget that."

Instantly after hearing that I couldn't take it any longer, with a inconsolable sigh hastening out of his hold as Elizabeth was next to approach me. Pity written all over her face as she attempted to put her own hand on mine, but I brushed past everyone trying to console me. Only lastly getting confronted by Jack's as well surprisingly mournful countenance before I fled the scene by striding across the deck all the way to the port side gunwale. Crashing against it, seeking momentary support from it in my distraught state of mind before whisked myself straight aboard the Dutchman before anyone could say anything or offer any of their condolences that were the last thing I would've been able to handle without starting to act like a madman myself. Me hearing the voices of Elizabeth and Peter to yell after me from the Pearl, but I cared not as immediately walked over to my cabin and for the bemusement of my crewmen locked myself in. Slumping to the chair that was still in its original place in front of the organs angrily, as I sat down me releasing a long, hold back breath as I finally could feel tears of my own to well up. As I shed a couple and simply stared in front of me, trying to make sense of this cruel trick of fate that had robbed me off the only thing I'd had left to give me hope, before took notice of Jones' locket that as well had been left the place I'd previously seen it on the instrument. In a fleeting fit of rage me slamming a hand at it and threw it out of my sight, only to give in to the excruciating agony and my face sank into my palm to smother the snivel that climbed up my throat. Me not knowing when was it that I found enough willpower to rise from that chair, when during that moment nothing seemed worth of my concern anymore now that Miranda was forever out of my reach…And I would never find her now when not even death would ever come to smile upon me and make it possible for me to reunite with her somewhere beyond this world she'd left me to roam all alone.

A/N:

I know, I'm terrible…But don't lose heart, and move on to the next chapter!

The next entry originally was to be part of the epilogue, but since the update would've gotten way out of hand, I divided into actual chapters. But overall, I dearly wish whatever comes after this one is all worth it after all that went down in these few previous chapters, and will end things in a much higher note!

Thank you so much for your continuous support, comments, favorites and general interest to take a peek at this series. I'm glad there have been those of you who have loved these fics as much as I've loved writing them, and hope that each and every one of you have had fun while reading about Miranda and her adventures. I wish I managed to end this in a good way and bring enough closure to my heroine so that it doesn't leave you all disappointed…Let's see. Love will however always prevail, won't it?

I cannot thank all you wonderful readers enough, and hope to hear from you by the time of any of my future works of fanfiction! (And trust me, there shall be a ton new POTC fics coming at some point as well as other fics I'm itching to get to, you can count on that ;D)

All hail you, and have a wonderful Christmas time!

~ Linda