Disclaimer: I don't own X/1999, I didn't come up with any of their brilliant characters, they're the geniuses not me!
The character of Alex, Jacob, Venus, Charlie, David, Anthony and Dimitri are all mine. The Noters are half reality. The rest belong to all the book/movie/TV/anime/manga they came from. If you can spot where they're from then good for you!
Author's Note: and short chapter but the end is…well…read it and see for yourself. And while you're reading PLEASE review 'coz in need to know what you're thinking of this, DESPERATELY need to know that is!
Part 25: Jealousy in the Snow
Death's riders were marching through heavy snow fall for a few days.
They have reached the chain of mountains on the end of the great grass plains and thick forests.
It seems there was no where else to go as the chain stretched out to both east and west; trying to cross them was their only option to make the gap between one Justice and the other as greater as can be.
The snow drove Alex mad. He hated snow with all his might; it meant death to him.
As the first snowflake hovered past them Alex began riding back towards his comrades, giving them heavy coats, gloves and hats to keep them as warm and safe.
He even handed ones to Victoria and Lestate at night, despite their argument that they could not feel the cold or be hurt by it.
The snow turned Alex into a tight ball of nerves, constantly on alert and cranky. Silence and uneasiness spread through the caravan as the weather around them became uneasy to life with.
Finally they arrived at what seemed like the peak of the mountain; a flat terrain stretching out to every direction. When they tried to move past it they encountered the most violent snow storm ever. It literally pushed them back to the long snowy flat.
They were stuck with no where else to go but backwards to where they came from and this was not an option.
Inside Alex's tent, as the night fell and the vampires woke, Alex held a re-strategizing meeting.
They gathered around a large round table Alex erected in his tent and covered with the various maps he had made so far.
"So we are stuck, are we not?" Lestate opened the meeting.
"Why won't you tell us something we don't know Lestate" Alex snapped at him, his eyes on the latest map to which he added the offending mountain range.
Lestate glared at him faintly.
"I'm sorry old friend it's this snow, it's making me cranky….we have to get out of here…we have to get somewhere" Death grumbled.
"Why won't we go back" Victoria offered, suddenly crouching under the fiercer glare she received from Alex "I mean go back to the plains where we traveled so far. We can stay there in much better weather and we won't move back to the city until Kamui gives up"
The men in the tent considered her words.
"I say we stay here" David joined into the discussion.
"Here in the snow storm!" Alex almost barked at him.
"Yes, in these horrible conditions it will only serve to break the brat's spirit quicker"
"David" Death's voice was cruel and harsh "you can't feel the cold can you? And you can't be effected, but there are those amongst us who can and might get hurt" he gestured towards the onmyoujis who looked drowned in the thick layers of warm clothes they wore.
"That's just fine with me, staying that is" Seishiro came for David's help "if it'll serve to break the brat's spirit quicker then I'm alright with it. What about you Subaru-kun?"
Subaru had something on his mind and did not pay attention to the conversation going on around him at all. After being shaken out of his daze he was asked again and nodded for an answer. "Although…." He mumbled suddenly, then scanned the faces around him and shook his head to cancel what he was about to say.
Silence spread through the tent as each men sank deep into thought.
"What about moving on, into the storm" Lestate broke the silence.
Alex closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself "Into the storm?" he grumbled finally.
"Yes, there must be something on the other end of these mountains; it can't be that this world is small enough to only have a ridge of mountains to patch the two ends of the territory we know of. There is something beyond the storm.
"And another thing; this storm, it seems to lessen when we're not trying to penetrate it and grow more violent whenever we come near it, am I right? Then it means that this is not a real force of nature but rather a spell of some sort"
The men in the camp raised their eyes to Lestate, awaiting more from him.
"You mean to say that someone doesn't want us to go beyond the mountains?" David asked.
"We…" Seishiro looked down at his lover for affirmation "We sort of sensed some kind of stranger force around the storm but we were unable to pin point it to anything we both knew of. It'd make sense that this storm is some kind of a spell"
Alex rubbed his thumb across his chin, deep in thought.
"And if it is a spell then no one can stop us from breaking it, we can do it can't we?" Victoria leaned closer to Alex "All we need to get over is our fears"
Death shot a glance mixed with a glare at her.
"And how do you suggest we cross this storm? It almost blew some of us off our horses" by his tone you could hear that he was beginning to get convinced yet he still had doubts and fears within.
"We'll cross it by night. We'll cross it when the only ones awake are those who cannot be affected by the cold. We'll ride at our fastest speed directly through the storm, keeping those who are vulnerable asleep somewhere safe" Lestate faltered for a moment, his wind suddenly blown out of his sails "I….didn't think about how we're going to transport those of us who are vulnerable but…. "
"Don't think about it now, we're not charging at the storm yet" Death cut him short.
"But…"
"We're not executing this plan yet"
"But Alex!" Victoria started now.
"Let me think about it, there's a lot of planning to do for such an operation and we have to make sure there is something beyond the storm for us to go through all this effort in the first place"
"And how do you plan to find that out?"
Alex glared down at David, who joined the argument to back Victoria up "Leave it to me alright? This meeting is over"
Subaru shot to his feet, grabbing Alex's arm and dragging him out of the tent "Alex, there's something I need to talk to you about, it's very important"
"What's wrong?"
"It's Kamui, he's not…." The conversation was cut from the rest of the men as Subaru and Alex stepped out of the tent.
They left a bunch of disappointed men behind.
"What's wrong with him anyway!" Victoria frowned "He's being extra snippy and bitchy to everyone"
"He doesn't mean it little English girl" Lestate answered her, rising from his seat and straightening his heavy velvet coat "it's the snow, it's making him edgy"
"Why?"
"Maybe David can answer that question"
David cowered under the sudden intense red stare from Victoria "Please don't ask me. I spent too much time inside buildings by the 'ovens' where it was warm…Alex spent more time there and obviously he spent more winters as well, that might account for his fears…."
"Alex is the one suffering the most English girl, give him a break and try to be gentle with him" Lestate aimed that to anyone else in the room even if David already knew it and Seishiro seemed to be lost in his own little world.
"Alright" the petite blond sighed.
Alex stepped into Kamui's tent, immediately enjoying the wave of heat coming from the large stove he placed there. The tent was warm and cozy, a complete change from the violent and cruel cold outside.
Kamui sat curled to a ball on his bed with his back to the tent's entrance.
Will sat at the foot of the bed, leaning his hand on the mattress and his chin on his arm, sadly staring up at Kamui.
There was non of the usual grumpy "Who is it?" or "What do you want!" from the youth on the bed.
Alex walked up to Kamui and sat by him on the bed.
Kamui did nothing, just stared forward with his head leaning on his knees. He was folded up so neatly into a tiny ball it was adorable. But as adorable as he could be, Kamui did not show any sign of how snappy he could be whenever Alex closed the distance between them.
"Kamui?" Alex leaned in to try and see the youth's face. What he saw shocked him.
The big mauve eyes were half lid and empty. Kamui stared forward carelessly, stopping to blink from time to time but nothing else. He seemed stuck in a daze, unable to shake it off and live. His eyes were so shut down, so vacant it seemed he was dead.
"Subaru was here" Alex said worriedly, aiming his words to the werewolf at Kamui's bedside without making eye contact "did he say something about his condition?"
"He doesn't speak to me….Kamui spoke a little first, zen just shut off completely….it vaz after a night ven he dreamt of Fuma"
Alex's tone came harsher, crueler this time "Did Subaru say anything about 'going within', I know he often talks to himself out loud"
"He said no such thing"
Alex stared at Kamui a little longer, trying to lay a comforting arm on the frail shoulders and receiving no response at all. He tried calling Kamui a few times but no matter what he did the boy would not respond.
This was bad.
"And Subaru is here around the clock I can imagine….still it's of no help…" now Alex was the one mumbling to himself. He sighed deeply then got to his feet and walked out of the tent, his head heavy with thoughts.
Kamui began breaking under the pressure of this adventure but he was breaking in the wrong direction. He was locking himself away from the rest of the world instead of regretting deeds. He was digging himself into a dangerous depression.
If Kamui withdrew back into his heart again there will be no argument to convince him out of there like the first time. What could Subaru tell Kamui to persuade him out of his heart? Kamui had nothing to lose but the tiny chance that Death's riders themselves would break and bring him back to the city.
Perhaps that's what Kamui was really planning? It was possible.
And yet Alex was sure that Kamui's pain was real and that his depression was not something he forced upon himself. They were just heading for a hard time that's all.
He sighed deeply and walked back to his tent to think over the various plans offered to him in the meeting.
The snow blew at him like a malicious child insisting on annoying him.
Subaru stormed into his tent in a hurry. He was caught and stopped by Seishiro's arms, wrapping around him warmly.
The Sakurazukamori nuzzled his neck, raining kisses on the soft skin.
"Not now Seishiro –san" Subaru tried shaking his lover off "I only came here to take a new cigarette pack, not now".
His lover heard none of it.
"Aren't you cold Subaru-kun?" he purred into his ear seductively "I'm cold too, let's get warmer together"
"Not now I said, please"
"Why?" Seishiro hummed between kisses, bringing Subaru's face to his "What else is there to do"
Subaru's emerald eyes were suddenly serious and hard "I have to be with Kamui, he's not feeling very good at all, he needs me"
Seishiro loosened his grip immediately.
Subaru escaped from his arms, walking to his bedside cabinet where he kept his cigarette packs.
"You mean you're going to help the brat who tried to kill your lover Subaru-kun" his voice was hard, offended and cold.
Subaru stared at him, then sideways "He's very sad, I can't help not trying to be there for him"
"He's sad because of his punishment Subaru-kun, his punishment for what he tried to do to us, remember?"
Subaru shut his eyes and frowned "I know….but….He's my friend, I can't desert him now" he began walking towards the tent's entrance.
Seishiro caught his hand, bringing it to his chest "You're kind Subaru-kun, too kind to that boy and I won't stand it for long"
Subaru stared hard at his lover's eyes "Let go of my hand Seishiro-san" he commanded.
Shocked, Seishiro let him go, watching his lover run off to help the youth who tried to kill him.
Anger filled Seishiro's mind, blocking everything else out. Feelings were new to him, leaving him unable to hold them back or analyze them properly before acting out.
He could not believe that his lover preferred Kamui's traitorous company over his loving one. Did he remember nothing of his trial? How Kamui was the one to drag the whole process towards his death sentence? Did he forget the deep panic he was in, the desperate need to be with him!
The nagging jealousy from old times returned to pest Seishiro's mind and heart. Back in their world, ever since the time Subaru reached into Kamui's heart and plucked the youth back to life, Seishiro recognized the threat Kamui was for their relationship.
Now this threat returned, magnified by Subaru's endless need to help those who are hurt and sad. Seishiro knew Kamui would use this to snare the pure hearted onmyouji.
Kamui pulled the same trick on Alex; playing the damsel in distress and beckoning anyone who might be his knight in shining armor.
Subaru would cave into it and fall for Kamui's trap. Then as soon as Subaru gave Kamui the strength to escape, the youth will use it to go back to his damned Fuma.
As soon as he'd be in Fuma's arms Kamui would chuck Subaru away like a used sock and forget he ever had something with Seishiro's lover at all.
Seishiro was shaking with so much anger at the notion.
The image of Kamui and Subaru escaping the camp on horseback made his blood boil, he was certain of it happening.
No! He will not have Kamui capture his Subaru-kun's heart, that heart was his and his alone! God only knows he worked hard to keep this ownership and he won't lose it to some runt who pouts and spins the whole world around his finger!
He stormed out of his tent towards Kamui's when the sight of Subaru standing a little away from it, on the side opposite to the entrance made him think.
He had a plan of how to stop this whole damned game.
"Kamui!"
It hit Kamui's mind like a bomb. That voice!
"Kamui!"
It was Fuma!
Kamui shot to his feet from the bed and turned to the tent's open entrance.
Fuma stood there, waving at Kamui with the most wonderful smile on his face. "Kamui, come on, come here!"
Without second thought Kamui leaped across the bed and ran towards his long lost lover. He left Will behind, snoozing as he leaned against his master's bed.
But the moment Kamui came close enough to Fuma the bigger teen took a few steps back, turned on his heels and began running away. He kept on waving his hand at his lover, beckoning the boy "Kamui! Ha ha ha! Come to me Kamui, follow me!"
Maddened with longing and loneliness, Kamui followed Fuma without argument.
He ran out of the little snow drenched camp, away from Subaru who still stood smoking and oblivious to what's going on, away from anyone who could protect him.
Fuma ran faster, heading deep into the snowy distance; he ran straight into the monstrous snow storm.
Enraged by the intruder, the storm turned it's mightiest power against Kamui, attempting to blow him off his feet and away from it.
Relentless, Kamui followed Fuma with his heart pounding and his head spinning with happiness. "Fuma! Fuma wait for me! Where are we going? Fuma please stop, I love you, stop! I miss you!"
"I love you too Kamui, oh Kamui I love you so much, follow me! Come to me Kamui, come!" Fuma stopped, spreading his arms sideways gesturing for Kamui to come and get a hug.
Kamui pulled at every strength left in his body and leaped after Fuma. Tears of happiness dripped from his eyes, freezing into tiny crystals on his blushing cheeks. He cared nothing for it; Fuma was here!
He leaped at Fuma who, in the very last second took another step back and vanished into the storm.
Kamui landed on unfaithful ice. He couldn't see it but he was placed his foot on a cliff edge of pure ice, the surface under him too thin to hold him.
The ice broke, hurling Kamui down into a pure white abyss. The cruel wind cut at him, the violent cold gnawed at his limbs.
Kamui fell heavily into a huge pile of snow and lay there, powerless and frozen as the image of his Fuma still played before him.
"Fuma…." He gasped hopefully, reaching out his hand for Fuma to take and yank him out of the snow.
Fuma walked up to him and reached out as well.
As their hands touched the maboroshi broke, shattering into a thousand sakura petals.
Kamui stared at the black ofuda left in his hand, completely unable to fathom what had happened here.
And by the time he realized what happened it was too later. His body was sunk in snow and freezing too quickly for him to fight it off. He was weakened by his maddened running, he was already weak from his little exercise or food in the last few days.
Most of all his spirit was shattered, his heart broken, all hope ripped out of him. Tears of despair fell on his cheeks, adding to the ice slowly covering his face.
There was no hope for him, and nothing to keep living for in this cruel and vicious world.
He dug his face into the snow, breaking into violent sobs. Even his whimpers were kidnapped and drowned in the harsh blowing wind around him.
His head felt heavy and his body ached. His eyelids begged for rest; Internal rest from this horrible fate.
Just before oblivion reached out and plucked him, a vision played before Kamui's eyes.
It was a view of heaven:
Long stretches of bright green fields and meadows, glittering under a brilliant sun Kamui haven't seen since he last came to the Lost Dimension. Beautiful little houses scattered across the heavenly view, across this Eden out of his reach but soon to embrace him. Flowers….and so much green….agricultural fields blossoming and succeeding….everything blooming, everything fresh and beautiful…
"Heaven….I'm going to heaven" Kamui mumbled before his head dropped into the snow, his soul thrown into dark oblivion.
(tbc)