There are 2 types of inspiration.
The first kind is like the past 3 days, where you can stare at your paper and literaly nothing comes out.
The second kind is the one where you're up till 5AM because of all the good idea's you've been getting.

Thanks again to everyone who reviewed. You give me a reason to continue writing!

Chapter 25

Previously on Forbidden Love:

"Christmas is the breach word." She heard Jay in her ear.

David Ward nodded as James walked to Rebekah. "So James you can choose a snack from this cabin." As soon as the boy was next to her she asked: "And what would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas this year?"

The team stormed in hearing the breach word. Rebekah pushed the boy down as she hovered above him. It all happened so quickly that she barely noticed that David Ward had jumped over the table. She only noticed when he hauled her up and held her in a choke grip.

"Let her go!" Jay screamed as Antonio took the boy and moved him out of the room.

"Not until you let me leave with my son." David said.

Rebekah started seeing black spots in front of her eyes, as she vaguely heard Jay trying to convince David to let her go. She felt herself losing consciousness as a shot rang out. She dropped to the ground as she sucked in a breath. Mouse was by her side in a matter of seconds, he kept murmuring to her that she was going to be okay. She looked at her side where David Ward was lying dead on the floor. She felt Mouse lift her up and walk her outside and put her down on one of the seats. The medics were waiting and gave her an oxygen mask.

"Thank you." Rebekah hoarsely spoke.

"Are you experiencing any other pains?" the female medic asked her.

She shook her head as she saw Voight walking up to her. "Oh crap." She thought to herself. She looked at Erin who placed a hand on her shoulder as support.

"What the hell don't you understand about the sentence: do NOT leave this precinct!" Voight hollered.

"The part where you told me if my partner says jump, I jump." Rebekah answered with an attitude.

Everyone looked up noticing the way Rebekah spoke back to Voight, when most people were terrified of him. Erin stood up with a smile and said: "She is right, you know. I told her we were leaving. She did what her partner told her. Just like your rules."

"Next time when I tell you to stay inside the precinct, you're staying inside the precinct! Understood?!" He asked her.

"Understood Sergeant Voight." Rebekah said as Voight turned to Erin." Rebekah said as Voight turned to Erin.

"Next time, I'm cuffing you to your desk!" He said before walking away.

The rest of shift had gone without a hitch. Rebekah had been lost in thought and shrieked when Erin touched her shoulder.

"It's just me." She said putting her hands up. Only then she noticed everyone looking at her.

"Sorry, I must have zoned out for a bit. What's going on?" Rebekah asked.

"We were going out for drinks at Molly's, you coming along?" Erin asked.

"Actually I have some stuff to take care of." Rebekah said taking her purse and walking out of the precinct.

Jay and Mouse looked at each other confused.

"She just needs some time to deal what happened today." Erin said as everyone started taking his stuff and walking out to Molly's.

Rebekah walked up to the gravestone and placed a single white rose on the grave. She sat down and took in the silence.

"Hey mommy. It's been a long time." Rebekah started. "I miss you. It's times like this that I miss the way you holding me always made me feel better. I miss not having you to talk to. I miss our girls nights in when dad took Jay and Will to watch baseball. They're both doing good, they're happy. Will finally settled on one girl, and even though he was never the responsible one, he's doing a great job taking care of baby Daniel. Jay's going to be an amazing father as well. Erin and he aren't together for that long, but you would have adored her." Rebekah took a breath as her eyes started to fill with tears. "Today, someone was killed because of me. And I know what you would say: that it wasn't my fault. But it was mommy, if I hadn't frozen like I did Mouse wouldn't have had to shoot him. Today was really bad. Everything just came rushing back, I really felt my life flash before my eyes. I wanted to just give up, to see you again." Rebekah let the tears fall as she continued. "But even though I thought I wanted nothing more than to see you again, I realized that's not what I want most anymore. What I want most is Mouse." Rebekah stood up, wiped her tears and said: "Thank you for listening to me, I love you." With that she walked away.

She got home and walked into her bedroom. She got changed into one of Mouse's shirts and crawled in bed. She sat back against the headboard as she held the little doll tight that her mother once had given her. She let her tears fall free and cried. That's how Mouse found her half an hour later. He sat next to her doing nothing but holding her close. "I took this job to protect people, and now someone is dead because of me. How the hell do you deal with that?" She asked him through all the tears.

"This is not your fault." Mouse told her. "The only person to blame is David himself. He got himself killed."

"But if I wouldn't have frozen like I did, you wouldn't have had to shoot him. I had both my hands free. There were a million things I could have done that would have ended up with him still alive." Rebekah practically stuttered. "All I see when I close my eyes, is David lying on the floor lifelessly, knowing I could have saved him."

"I wish I could tell you that everything will be better tomorrow, but that would be a lie. Because it will hurt like hell. There are going to be people to tell you to just get over it, and you're going to want to punch them in the face. Let me tell you in advance, it won't help. The only thing that helps is time. You're always going to carry it with you, but one day you're going to realize it doesn't hurt as much anymore." Mouse told her recalling his own experiences. He just continued holding her until they both fell asleep.

"We're so late!" Rebekah exclaimed as she ran into the kitchen.

"Relax." Mouse said pulling her close.

"Don't tell me to relax, Voight is going to kill us, We're more than 2 hours late!" Rebekah rambled.

"Voight called earlier to tell us to stay home unless a case comes in." Mouse told her.

Rebekah visibly relaxed as Mouse continued. "He also said to tell you that he made an appointment with doctor Charles today for you. I really think you should go."

"I don't need to talk to some stupid shrink." Rebekah said a little angry stepping away from Mouse.

"What would you want someone in your position to do based on your education?" Mouse asked her. Rebekah just sighed as she walked back to her bedroom. She got dressed and walked out of the house completely ignoring Mouse.

She walked into the precinct, finding it completely empty. She sat down at her desk and looked at the file she was holding. Seeing the picture of David Ward, she blew out a breath as she closed the file. Logging in on her computer, she started filling out her intern paper. Part of her thesis required her to write a daily report of events.

She had been working for about an hour when Voight entered. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I'm doing my job." Rebekah said getting up and handing him some papers "I need you to sign off on my reports and black out everything I can't use for confidentiality reasons."

Voight took the papers and looked at the clock. "Aren't you supposed to be meeting with doctor Charles about now?"

"I'm not talking to a shrink, I know what you say to people in my position and right now everything I end up with is that he's still dead because of me and some shrink is not going to change that." Rebekah said. "And even if I wanted to talk to someone, I'm perfectly capable of doing so without your help."

"Police regulations state you need to talk to someone after what you went through." Voight explained.

"Police regulations only apply to police officers. Like you told me just because I work here, doesn't mean I'm a cop." Rebekah started looking at his face she knew he realized that she was right. "It sucks having someone talk back right." She added with an attitude as she sat back at her desk.

Voight stared at her dumbfounded as he walking into his office.

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