25
Sarah POV
Getting used to handling my seizures, meeting Malfoy, and balancing friends and schoolwork was hard. What made it even worse was Occlumency. Snape had forced out some sort of approval and praise for handling the seizures from Bellatrix, but he'd retaliated immediately by making me practice all the harder. His approach got a bit more cautious when I'd collapsed into convulsions when he first pushed me too far, but, nevertheless, he sneered at me every Wednesday night, and it made me start to hate him again. He was doing me a huge, priceless favor, teaching me Occlumens, but he was such an asshole about it that I couldn't help but hate him. "You aren't focusing enough." He snapped one night after I'd only been able to 'slap' him from behind my protective barriers instead of fully push him back.
"I'm doing my best," I snarled, suddenly unable to stop my anger. There was a moment of silence, and I conjured a chair and sank into it, pressing a shaking hand to my forehead, trying to control myself. Usually I tried to always be polite, kind of like the reversed psychology I'd used on Umbridge last year. It had kept our short conversations at least around civil.
"I've received information that you are pursuing a relationship with Draco." He said suddenly, and I dropped my hand, looking at him in disgust. He was sitting on the edge of his desk with his arms crossed, sneering as ususal.
"You know what I'm trying to do." I said in a hard voice, trying to control myself. This wasn't any of his business.
"I don't think you understand the delicacy needed in this situation." Snape said silkily, and I bolted to my feet with a scowl.
"If you're worried about me covering your arse, don't worry, I am, even if I don't like it." I said furiously. "And every second I'm with Draco I'm wondering if what I tell him could come back to haunt me. Don't you dare try to mediate what I'm doing with Malfoy. I might actually help him instead of scaring him like you are."
"Get out of my office." He said curtly after a moment of us glaring at each other, and I stormed out. Furious with him trying to interfere, I accidentally walked through a ghost and bumped into a few people until I stopped by a torch to calm myself down. I shouldn't have been that upset about Malfoy- I shouldn't have cared. Snape had every right to make sure I wasn't screwing him over. With a sigh, I pulled on the chain of my phoenix feather necklace until I could take the vial in my hand; closing my eyes when the light, relaxed feeling started to steal over me again. After awhile, I stopped leaning against the wall and started out again for the Common Room. Three corridors later, I ran into Harry, who was literally bouncing on his heels as he walked.
"Harry?" I asked, and he gave me a huge grin, coming to a stop. "What's up, did you finally ask out Ginny?" I teased, fully expecting Harry to flush and grumble. Instead he just shook his head and shrugged, still grinning like a fool. "Harry, what is wrong with you?" I asked, wondering if Romilda Vane had gotten a love potion on him, or if he'd been hit by a Cheering Charm.
"Nothing! I'm off to Hagrid's. See ya!" He exclaimed cheerfully, already skipping around the corner before I could register his super cheerful personality change all of a sudden. When I made it to the Common Room, Hermione and Ron were sitting nervously together on a couch, talking in low voices.
"Hey," I greeted them tiredly, flopping onto the couch next to Ron. "I passed Harry on my way here and he was acting really weird." I mumbled, and Ron and Hermione jumped.
"You saw him? Where? When?" Hermione demanded.
"Second Floor corridor- he said he was going to Hagrid's. What's wrong with him?" I said, pushing myself up straighter on the couch.
"He took some Felix Felices to get the memory he needed from Slughorn- but it must have backfired somehow, he insisted that he go to Hagrid's!" Hermione nearly wailed. It took me a minute to process what she'd said as I sat up, batting a braid resignedly out of my face as I did so.
"What do we know about Felix Felices? Do you honestly think Slughorn would mess up a potion?" I rubbed my forehead as I tried to brainstorm and catch up with what was happening. I'd been extremely busy this week and I felt like I was constantly running to get things done. Trying to think on top of all that exhaustion was almost impossible.
"I doubt it, Slughorn isn't incompetent. But it makes no sense for Harry to go to Hagrid's!" Hermione snatched up her bag from the floor and started rifling through it for what I presumed was a book.
"That stuff's not dangerous. I think Harry'll be fine." Ron muttered, but glanced out the window just the same. Far off in the distance, becoming more obscure as the sun set even faster was Hagrid's cabin. I slouched back down again, exhausted, and rested my head against Ron's arm, closing my eyes. "You should go to bed," Ron said, shifting his arm to get my attention.
"It's only 8," I mumbled. "And besides, Hermione's about to fall into hysterics," I chuckled quietly when Ron snickered and Hermione huffed. We waited and waited for Harry to come back, looking out the window at Hagrid's cabin. The lights were on, but it looked pretty quiet- and there was no sign of Slughorn. Eventually, I surrendered to my sleepy self and crashed on a couch, insisting that I was only taking a nap. For awhile, I dreamed about walking down the passageways in the library, books hopping down off the shelves and starting a conga line behind me. But, slowly, the library melted away, and I was not myself.
"Patience, Bellatrix. You need to relax." The deep throaty voice of Rodolphus did not soothe my impatience, nor my irritation.
"It's taking him much too long to fix it!" I hissed, pacing up and down past my four poster bed. In the shadows, all I could see was Rodolphus' eyes following my every move.
"Have you spoken with Narcissa?" He asked, and I snorted.
"She will not pressure her own son when already she is weak. We rotted in Azkaban for this moment to come, and now a selfish bratty child is standing in our way!" I shouted-
Someone was shaking my shoulder. I bolted upright, eyes snapping open with a quiet gasp. "Easy, Sarah, chill out," Ron yawned, already straightening out and stretching his long arms. The Common Room was even darker than the last time I'd seen it, and it was pretty much deserted. The dream was hanging out in the back of my mind, and I was having a hard time shaking the angry useless feeling that had been surging through Bellatrix.
"Any sign of Harry?" I asked, feeling my pulse slowly dying in my ears. That was the first dream I'd had in awhile, and I didn't like it. It meant I was failing at Occlumency again, something I thought I was strong in.
"I saw him leave Hagrid's, but he hasn't shown up yet, and that was almost half and hour ago. Hermione already went to bed, and I was about to go too." Ron explained, yawning again with more vigor. "It's about three in the morning," he supplied, and I swore under my breath, getting to my feet. Dark spots danced across my vision-I'd gotten up to fast.
"For Merlin's sake, I'm going to bed. See you tomorrow," I mumbled, and stumbled up the staircase and finally fell asleep in my own, comfortable bed. The next morning, Harry clued us in as to why he'd gone to Hagrid's and how he'd gotten the memory. I was in a foul mood- it was the day after affect from Occlumency lessons. On top of that, I was exhausted with my work load, keeping all my secrets and trying to persuade Draco not to kill Dumbledore at the end of the year or let in the Death Eaters. I was having an effect on him for sure, but on the days we didn't meet I knew he was in the Room working to mend the Cabinet. At lunch I barely ate, listening to Hermione try to soothe Ron's irritation about not passing his Apparition Test.
"Katie!" Hermione suddenly greeted someone with surprise but good cheer, and I looked up from my blank plate. Katie Bell had been walking past, her friend from the beginning of the year, Leanne, next to her. Katie looked as good as new, and it was a relief to see that she was unharmed. As Harry asked her if she remembered who gave her the necklace, I glanced surreptitiously at Malfoy. He'd obviously seen Katie; he was keeping his head low over his plate. I'd noticed that over the past couple days he'd been severely stressed and paler than usual, almost as white as me, with bags almost as large. I dropped my gaze when he glanced upward and our eyes met for a second. Letting my thick braid swing over my shoulder, I leaned over and asked Hermione a question about a passage in her book, The Spellcaster's Guide to Complex Charms. Unfortunately, I couldn't keep my attention away from Harry for long. With Katie's return he was thinking about Malfoy again, and he kept shooting me what were supposed to be 'covert' looks, wondering if he could breach the topic again.
"Hey, Sarah? Can I have a word?" He asked as soon as Hermione retreated behind her book, and I sighed, switching places with Ron so that we could talk. "I just wanted to ask if you could tell me anything new. It's been a long time, and I thought that maybe something had happened." Harry prattled off pathetically when I closed my eyes for a second, trying to keep my temper.
"Harry, if I could, you'd be the first to know. You should focus on the upcoming Quidditch match, not your hunch about Malfoy." I tried to say it kindly, but it sounded annoyed even to me.
"Ron said you were dreaming yesterday." Harry blurted out, and my mouth dropped open for a second in shock. I thought Ron hadn't even noticed!
"Oh, really?" I asked, turning to give Ron my best death glare. He didn't turn around to acknowledge it, but his shoulders hunched a little and he started talking more animatedly to Hermione.
"Sarah, I'm just curious, just worried is all. You haven't had a dream in a long time." Harry said as I turned back around. He really did look worried, and that eased my displaced anger. "Did something happen at Occlumency yesterday?" He hit the nail right on the head and I winced.
"Things aren't going as well as I'd like and as well as what Snape demands." I sighed, rubbing my forehead. "I know exactly how you felt last year." I said with a weak chuckle, but Harry didn't laugh.
"He's not pushing you too far again, is he?" He asked suspiciously, glancing at the staff table where Snape was sitting. Harry had been practically incensed when I hadn't come back from Occlumency and had only appeared at lunch the next day. Madam Pompfrey had insisted on keeping me for 'observation', making me late. It gave him another reason to hate Snape.
"Nope. I'm just really tired lately. The homework's a drag." I injected cheerfulness into my voice, getting up off the bench and offering Harry a hand, pulling him to his feet. "I've really got to stop moping. Want to go to the library and work on that paper for Slughorn? I heard Ginny's been spending a lot of time in there studying for O.W.L.S.'" I said very quietly, and Harry flushed, making me laugh. I quickly snatched my bag and we left, leaving Hermione and Ron still talking to one another. It was only a matter of time before they finally started seeing each other seriously, I just knew it.
"Do you think Ron would be mad if I asked Ginny out?" Harry asked quietly as we walked towards the library. I mulled it over as we started up the Marble Staircase. On one hand, I knew Ron hated every guy that Ginny dated, it was just a 'big brother' thing. But Harry had also been Ron's best friend since forever.
"I don't see why not. I think it'd gross him out more than anything. He knows both of you really well- the two of you together would freak him out." I chuckled, picturing the look on Ron's face.
"You sure?" Harry asked, sounding like an insecure two year old and I nearly burst out laughing. For one so brave in the face of danger, girls really did scare Harry.
"Have you ever doubted me?" I asked with mock drama, and I teased him and gave him a bit more advice on our way to the library. Once we were there, Harry got no work done, glancing up every minute or so to look at Ginny. I went and returned a book to the shelves and we greeted each other cheerfully; I saw Harry duck fast out of the corner of my eye, almost making my snigger. His head was almost in his lap he'd ducked so fast. He obviously wasn't ready to talk to her yet. "You ok over here?" I snickered as I sat back down, but Harry didn't have the reaction I expected. He was packing up his things hastily, glancing at the Marauder's Map.
"Fine. I've got to go, Quidditch stuff," Harry mumbled, tapping the map and sweeping it into his bag. "See you later?" He asked, and took off. I watched him go with a bad feeling in my stomach. Harry's current infatuation was here in the library, so he could have seen only one other thing on the map that would engross him that fast.
Draco Malfoy.