Chapter 25 a broken goodbye.
I have to break up with her, he thought.
Make her hate me again. I have to do it, I have to do it soon. Tomorrow!
The Final Battle will take place in a few days, Hermione I'm sorry but it's for the best, he said silently in his head. It broke his heart to have to do this but he had to.
But before that he had something very important to do. Draco knew he wouldn't survive the Final Battle, this important errand was something he had to do. In doing this at least I would die having a clear conscience, he told himself.
So Draco swept off into his room to do this conscience-clearing task.
Hermione lay in her bed wondering why Draco was so distant, we love each other so much! How can this be happening? Does he still love me? He acted so cold he's hiding things from me I know it.
I have to ask
him again one last time one last time before I leave it, she told
herself.
She got out of bed and crept to Draco's door and
knocked.
"Draco? Draco it's me Hermione" She whispered gently.
"What do you want Hermione? I'm busy." Draco's cold voice came from inside.
She opened the door and walked in. She saw Draco hunched over on his desk writing something. He looked up and as he saw her he quickly stashed the parchment away.
"What's that?" she asked, after seeing the now hidden parchment.
"It's nothing, what are you doing here? I told you I'm busy."
"I just came here to ask one last time, before the Final Battle…" Her voice trailed off.
She didn't know if she had the strength to take his answer. No, I have to know, her conscience said.
"Before the Final Battle I just wanted to ask what's wrong Draco? Why are you keeping things from me? What's with the secrets? Tell me! You know you can tell me anything!"
Draco ached to tell her that he loved her, that he had to go, that he had to be a Death Eater, he wanted desperately to confide in her what had been plaguing his mind for the past weeks but that would be, that would be signing her Death contract.
"Nothing Hermione! How many times do I have to tell you! Just go, leave it don't worry, now go I told you before, I'm busy."
He knew it was harsh but he had to he had to hurt her, he had to play the part or else she would figure out. Figure out that something was going on. Her eyes began to tear and glistened in the dark room, she looked at if she were about to cry. But she willed the tears not to fall. She nodded slightly and walked out the door, as she closed it behind her she whispered quietly.
"No matter what Draco, I'll always love you."
The tears were stinging in his eyes. I hate this! I hate Voldemort I hate you father! Why did you make me do this?
Quietly, just quietly before the door clicked shut he murmured, "I'll love you forever Hermione."
But she never heard.
The last time he would tell her he ever loved her and she never heard.
It's for the best she'll be safe without me, without my bloody destiny. She is all that matters her innocence mustn't be scarred by the inescapable dark life that I must lead.
The day after.
This was the day had dread for weeks and it has finally come.
He didn't care about the Final Battle any more, he didn't care if he lived or died as long as she was safe and protected from all that horror. Death would destroy her purity, he thought. I have to protect her from Lucius he will for sure kill her.
He ran towards Dumbledore's office to complete his conscience-clearing task. An hour later he walked out of the office, taking a deep breath he proceeded to do the hardest thing he ever had to do in his life – break Hermione's heart.
It was Lunch Time that day and Hermione just sat down to get a taste of the glorious food. All this time Draco had been haunting her mind. His distant behavior always made her think and wonder things that she never wanted to think about.
Everyone knew the Final Battle was drawing near. Dueling clubs had been set up, extra Defense against the Dark Arts, Charms even potions lessons were taking place so the students knew how to defend themselves when the time came. Dumbledore had even hired a Martial Arts master to teach the students all forms of self-defense and Martial Arts. This had been going on for weeks. Dumbledore had to ensure the safety of his students. The first through to fifth years had been sent home to their families and any sixth and seventh years went if their parents or guardians wanted them home. Soon only a small majority of the senior years were present at the school.
Everything was swimming around her mind.
She couldn't think, she couldn't do anything all her thoughts were filled with doubt and worry, about Draco, the school, Harry and Ron everything. Were they going to survive the Final Battle? What was going to happen afterwards? How many will die? Will I die? A nagging voice in her head kept on saying, no Hemrione you must survive, for your sake for Draco's sake.
Lesson's had been cancelled, due to the fact of obvious reasons. Voldemort and the Death Eater's attacks were becoming greater and closer towards Hogwarts. Everyone knew here was their target, where Harry Potter and Albus Dumbledore were.
She ate silently, worry and doubt swept upon her face. Barely eating anything, really. All conversations, talking were just sounds to her, her mind was too distracted within her own thoughts. It can't get any worse than this, she thought. But then again whenever some one says that in a movie, it always does. She looked up from her food, searching for a face. Finally she found what she was looking for. Draco, was like her barely eating anything. He stared at his food deep in thought, sadness and dread filling his beautiful storm grey eyes.
What's
going to happen to us? Hermione found herself thinking. As if he
heard what Hermione was thinking he looked up and saw her looking at
him. She gave him a faint smile, one that he hesitantly returned. At
that same moment a great Eagle Owl flew in and dropped a piece of
parchment on Draco's barely empty plate. Picking it up he read it
slowly. Hermione saw a mixture of emotions place them self on his
face.
Wearing different expressions as he read the letter. First
hatred, sorrow, then guilt and then finally dread. He glanced up
quickly at Hermione sadness and regret in his gaze, then he left the
hall and made his way to the dormitory. She followed him with her
cinnamon eyes full of innocence, hurt and worry. What was in the
letter? Is his father going to force him to be a Death Eater? What
made him so angry so, sad? Was that dread I saw in his eyes? I guess
I'll find out soon, she thought.
Hermione got up said goodbye to Harry and Ron and followed Draco.
Draco made his way to the Great Hall for lunch. He went and sat down at the Slytherin table. He didn't eat anything. He just stared at his food thinking about the events that were about to take place later that evening. He had to leave soon and follow his father.
It weighed heavily on his mind that day, he was going to tell her in the Astronomy Tower at nine o' clock that night.
He tried to rehearse what he was going to say, but it all ended in "I hate this!" He knew the importance of this scheme to work. It had to work, if she suspected that I still cared for her, she will ask questions, ones that I can't give the answers to. He knew he must make her hate him again, make her despise him as much as she did before, if not even more. It was the only way for her to be safe and not 'exterminated' as his father had said.
Suddenly he felt a pair of eyes watching him, he knew who they belonged to. He looked up at Hermione, she gave him a faint smile. Should I smile back? No I can't it will make her think I still care for her. Maybe just this once, maybe just this one last time before I say goodbye. He returned the smile only to be greeted by his father's owl. He winced as he picked up the parchment it dropped with his father's familiar scrawl.
Son,
Your time with that Mudblood
filth is running out. Get rid of her now! You know I'm watching
you. Get rid of her or I will, you know what to do. You leave
tomorrow morning. A carriage will arrive to fetch you. The time for
you to serve the Dark Lord has come and the Final Battle will take
place in three days. So get rid of that whore tonight or I will
assure you, this will be the last time you see its face. Draco, you
have been warned.
Father
He referred to her as an 'it.' She is not an 'it' father! She is human! The most perfect human I've ever met! Anger bubbled in his veins. He read the letter again. I leave tomorrow, this will be the last time I see Hermione before the Final Battle, I'm going to have to break it off, and I really am going to have to do this. A wave of sadness washed itself through his body. He looked up at Hermione one last time and made his way to their common room.
Hermione entered the common room. She walked around to the small end table near the chocolate brown sofa. A lone piece of parchment lay there. One, which read:
Astronomy Tower, 9 o' clock don't be late.
It was written in Draco's neat scrawl. Odd, maybe he will finally tell me what's going on, she thought happily. Maybe this whole mess will be cleared up tonight! The thought gave her much relief as she skipped towards her bedroom. Oh how wrong she was. Little did she know that tonight things were about to get worse.
Hermione spent the rest of her day wondering what would happen in the Astronomy Tower that night. The thought of her and Draco finally resolving their problems made her feel happy and lightheaded. The Final Battle was coming, if they die at least she died with a clear mind.
"Hermione, Hermione" A familiar yet faraway voice called. "Hermione!"
Ginny's voice woke her to her senses.
Then she realized she wasn't in her own world she was out on the grounds, sitting by their favorite beech tree at the edge of the lake.
"What!? Oh! Yes what is it?" A startled Hermione asked.
"Welcome back, seems like you've wondered off to Dreamland over there." Ginny sounded relieved.
"I was just thinking, nothing to worry about."
"Thinking about the Final Battle? … I'm scared too." Ginny said in a shaky voice.
"I'd say you were a fool if you weren't everyone's scared Ginny, don't worry everyone will be here, the order, the aurors, Dumbledore and yes all this extra training we've been having." Hermione assured her. "Actually I was thinking what will happen to Draco and I, he's been so distant and cold lately I…" her voice faded.
Ginny put an arm around her best friend "Oh 'Mione it'll be alright, remember if anything happens I'm right here and Harry and Ron will beat him to a bloody pulp."
She laughed lightly.
"He asked me to meet him in the Astronomy Tower tonight." Hermione said quietly.
"He what? Oh! He did? Well maybe he will clear things up after all" Ginny smiled, "Like I said don't worry we'll be right here for you."
"Thanks Gin" Hermione said gratefully. "You're the best friend anyone can have"
Ginny raised her head proudly, her petite nose in the air she sighed in mock pride
"I know I know, I guess I'm just such a good person." She started to laugh. So did Hermione.
Her afternoon was a happy one but Hermione didn't know that this was one of the last times she would ever be truly happy in a long time.
For Hermione 9 o' clock couldn't come soon enough. She was pacing the Astronomy Tower her patience was growing thin. It was a minute to nine when she finally saw Draco's silhouette in the shadows.
"Draco! Finally you're here!" Hermione squealed.
She felt as if she had so much suspense and excitement in her that she was going to burst. Draco just stood there and said nothing giving her a cold gaze.
"Goodbye Granger" He said simply.
But Hermione didn't understand. It was the first time he had called her Granger in a long, long time.
"What do you mean goodbye?" She asked quizzically.
"I mean I'm leaving and we're over" he stated bluntly.
She looked hard into his eyes, but she saw no love there and all she saw was cold, there was no warmth in the storm like she had seen so many times before.
Tears sprang to her eyes.
"What?"
Panic was rising in her voice.
She refused to cry she didn't want him to see her like this. All the excitement and suspense had diminished all in that same moment.
"Are you deaf Mudblood? We're… over." He said the last part slowly, as if she were a three-year-old child.
"How can you do this? And now of all times! Before the Final Battle!" She cried, the first tear fell, her heart was breaking. He had called her Mudblood.
"I'll do what I want to do. The time has come for me to pick a side and I choose to side with the Dark Lord." His icy voice rang in her ears.
"But you can't! You were supposed to be with me, us! To fight for the light side!" She protested.
"There is no more us, can't you get that through your thick head? You are so blinded Granger, you think this is just about that whole cliché Good versus Evil thing! But no, this is about Power. My father thankfully made me realise that."
"I thought you had changed! I thought you said you didn't want to be a Death Eater." She said shakily.
The second tear fell, with every word every minute her heart was breaking more and more.
"That was before Mudblood this is now, now I want to live up to my true destiny and that is sided with the Dark Lord." The moon had been covered with a cloud it grew darker and darker. Draco turned to leave.
In panic Hermione cried out.
"Draco wait!" He turned towards her. "Why are you doing this? I thought you said we were going to fight this." The third tear, heart almost broken.
"You thought I said it, but it's a fools errand going up against my father, your friends, The Dark Lord."
"I thought you said you loved me…I never doubted your love…"she said quietly looking to the floor.
"Ha, love a weak delusion, love is a need, needs are weak. My father thankfully has made me realise that and brought me back to reality. Love is an attachment, if I want to serve the Dark Lord I must let loose of all my attachments."
"Is that all I am to you a …an attachment?" she asked as she looked up, tears streaked her face and shone in the moonlight.
"No" He stated simply.
"Then what am I to you then?" Her voice was stronger, even she wanted to know the answer. Hermione was always thirsty for knowledge, even if she knew she couldn't bear what the answer may bring.
"A distraction, a simple distraction." He said coldly. He turned and left.
And that was it that was the moment when her heart was shattered into a million pieces.
He never cared about me, he hasn't changed, how could I have thought he could love? His answer was much worse than she thought. Her knees gave way and she sank to the floor. She finally let the tears fall and they came like a waterfall. She looked up and saw he was gone. Her anger was rising; he played her for a fool.
"Malfoy you coward! You played me for a fool, I thought you had changed, but you haven't not one bit! I hate you! I HATE YOU!" she yelled after him.
Draco Malfoy slowly but swiftly walked down the steps of the Astronomy Tower. He could here her voice echoing around his head.
"I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" It was a long walk down.
Hermione's heart wasn't the only one that was breaking; Draco's was as well.
Part of him was relieved that he didn't have to go through that again, but another part just couldn't believe what he had just done.
He watched her cry he saw it all and he hated to see her cry, he forced the harsh words out of his mouth. It took all his physical and mental strength to keep a straight face and not let his eyes betray him. Heck it took all his energy to do that. Seeing the look of desperation upon her beautiful features, it took a lot of mental persuasion to restrain himself and not sweep her up into his arms and dry her tears with a kiss.
He paused on the stairs and looked up to her, her back was turned away he could hear her sobs echoing around the dark tower. A single tear slowly made its way down his cheek.
That was the last time he would see her before…
Before it all ends.