Back to the Beginning

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.

A/N-thank you for the kind reviews and for still following this story.

Part Twenty Four

It was the words no choice which pulled Bella out of her funk. There was always a choice. No matter how scary it was to make the decision to change things, sometimes you had to just go with your gut feeling. Isn't that what she had been doing since she had landed in this time line? She had been trying to change things for the better. She had been so desperate to make things up to Jacob. In her world she had hurt him so badly. Her selfish decisions had caused a lot of pain to good people who didn't deserve it. Bella didn't know when she had become such a selfish person. Had she been like that her whole life? She wasn't quite sure anymore. Being so self-absorbed meant that the only memories you carried in your heart were bitter ones. But she hoped that she was learning her lesson and that she was changing. She didn't want it to happen here. She didn't want anyone to sacrifice themselves on her behalf, so many had already done that in her reality. Innocents had lost their lives because of her, all those street kids which made up the newborn army, Riley too. He would never have become embroiled with Victoria if not for her and her involvement with the Cullen's.

Now it was happening here. Jacob was being forced to sacrifice everything he believed in all because of his love for her. Bella had vowed not to hurt him again, to cause him pain, but here she was doing that very thing. Her selfish need to return to him, instead of allowing Victoria to send her where she was supposed to go, had thrown up a conundrum none of them could fix. Riley was already dead here, changed into a vampire. The Victoria in this universe was already set on her destructive path to create an army. How long until the Volturi got wind of it and came to investigate. Aro and the others would find out about the wolves, they would be placed in danger, all to protect her sorry ass.

Time was repeating itself. It was all leading to the same conclusion. It might have taken a different path to get there, but still the same things were happening. If Jacob let Victoria go instead of ending her existence like he was supposed to, then all those street kids in Seattle would lose their lives again. The newborn army would still come to La Push. The Volturi would become involved creating the same dangers as before. Everything Bella had tried to achieve here would come to naught. It would all end the same. This is what Victoria had been trying to tell her and she hadn't understood. Every time that the red head sent her back, whatever she did or didn't try to change, it all led to the same end. Only one thing had changed in her reality, and that was that Victoria had ended Edward's life. What ripple effect Bella had created here to cause that in her own time line she didn't know. One thing was for certain though, Jacob had to kill Victoria here, otherwise innocents would die, and Bella couldn't have that on her conscience again. She couldn't be that selfish. It would make her no better than Victoria was.

It was the ultimate sacrifice. To save Jacob, to save them all, she was going to have to give him up. The very thought killed her. She loved him so much. He was everything to her. It was a painful lesson to learn that her forever had been staring her in the face since she was a young child. Now she was going to lose him. It was clear now where she had been going wrong this whole time. By forcing her to relive her past Victoria had opened her eyes to the natural path her life should have taken. All roads led straight to Jacob. Hadn't he been the first person she ran to when Victoria had sent her back. She now knew she must have done this countless times. Every instance that Victoria returned her to the past, she had done the same thing, sought out the only one who could offer her comfort, who loved her and kept her safe. She hadn't begged Edward to stay when she had been sent back. She had told him to go. Then she had gone running to Jacob and events had been set in motion.

Bella clung to Jacob, hiding her face in the crook of his neck. She breathed him in, trying to memorise his scent, the softness of his skin. The way his arms felt as he held her. She raised her head, eyes glistening with tears, as she slowly traced her shaking fingers over his face, trying to memorise every dip and curve so it was embedded in her memory for eternity. It was heart breaking. She had found the love of her life, but now she was going to lose him. She understood Victoria's pain; she empathised with why the crazed red head was expending all her efforts into trying to save Riley. But Bella couldn't be that selfish, not anymore. She wouldn't sacrifice other's lives just so she could have one of her own. What was that quote? If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were. How true that was for her right now.

"You have to end her, Jacob." Bella said quietly. "You can't let her run free. She'll kill again."

Jacob captured Bella's trembling fingers when they reached his lips. He held them painfully in his. The deadness in her voice was scaring him. "It won't come to that." He tried to keep his voice steady. Panic was rising in his gut making it churn. "We'll figure something out."

"There is no time. You know that." Bella whispered. A sad smile crossed her face as she gazed into the deep pools of his eyes. She saw the fear and it almost made her resolve break.

"If she dies, you die." Jacob ground out. "I won't do it. There has to be another way."

"There is no other way." Bella couldn't contain her tears any longer. They spilled out of her eyes and slithered down her cheeks. "I understand that now." She saw his mouth open, ready to protest but she placed the fingers of her free hand over his lips, quietening him. "I love you so much. I crossed time over and over to get back to you."

Jacob's dark eyes were glistening now. He shook his head in denial. "Don't Bella." He yanked her hand away from his mouth and pulled her back into his arms. He cupped the back of her head, pressing her head against his chest. She could hear his heart thumping under his hot skin as if it was threatening to burst out of his chest. "Don't break my heart, Bella. Just don't. Don't ask me to let you go because I can't. I love you. We'll work something out, we'll find a way to break the bond you have with that red headed bitch. We just need some time."

Bella closed her eyes. She was doing it again, hurting him. A deep longing to be selfish one last time coursed through her. She wanted to remain in his arms forever. She longed to get married, to have his children. She wanted to grow old with him, watch their children grow up and have some of their own. She could almost see it, feel it, and touch it. It was just within reach. Then the darkness returned. She couldn't do it. She wouldn't be Victoria. She wouldn't sacrifice innocent lives so she could have her own happy ever after. Those street children who had died at Victoria's hands deserved a future too. So did Riley. So did all of Victoria's victims.

Bella pressed her lips against Jacob's warm skin, her fingers fumbling for the wolf charm hanging around her neck. She raised her head, her eyes drinking in his beloved face one last time. She tried not to let his stricken expression break her. It was time to go. "I love you, Jacob. May we meet again."

The last thing she heard was him desperately calling her name before she collapsed in his arms…

"Bella, did you hear what I said." Bella found herself standing in her driveway, next to her old truck. The iron monster felt cold under her touch where she rested her hand on the hood. Edward was beside her, his expression inscrutable. Bella stared up at him with dull eyes. "Bella, come for a walk with me." Edward took her hand, his fingers lightly holding hers. He was acting as if her touch burned. This scene was all too familiar.

So, here she was, back to the beginning. Only this time she remembered everything…

Bella shook her head, gazing at him. Her eyes wandered from his face, examining the clothes he was wearing. Edward never wore the same things twice, but these she had seen countless times. They were burned in her memory. It was the same light grey shirt, unbuttoned to reveal a white V-necked tee underneath, and teamed with dark blue jeans. She was going to be forced to relive the whole conversation again. She could have cried.

"Just come." Edward tugged on her hand, motioning for her to follow.

"NO." Bella snapped. She spoke louder than she intended but she didn't give a shit.

Edward winced but he recovered his poise quickly. "Bella, we won't go far."

"Fuck off, Edward." Bella said tonelessly. She was so tired, so bored of having to go through this same tiresome conversation. "Just go. I don't care. I don't love you. I never did. Not really. This whole thing means nothing to me. You mean nothing."

Edward didn't manage to hide his shock. His golden brown eyes flashed with pain at her barbed words. Bella just stared at him listlessly. She didn't have the energy to soothe his shattered ego. Let his family do that. She was sure that Carlisle, Alice and the others would help him lick his wounds. After all didn't they always do what Edward wanted?

"Bella, you don't mean that." Edward's face was full of torment.

"I mean every word." Bella finished coldly. "You are a coward, Edward. We have that in common. Did you know that? We're both selfish creatures too. Instead of facing the consequences you're running away and leaving me to deal with the aftermath. Well off you go. I would say Bon Voyage, but that would mean I actually gave a shit where you go. Sayonara." She gave him a mocking salute before spinning on her heel and running clumsily toward the house.

Edward didn't follow….

Bella stayed with her back pressed against the front door and her knees drawn up to her chest until her limbs grew stiff. Her eyes were sore from crying so much. She was fighting the urge to climb into her truck and run to Jacob. But it would just start the whole process again. At least before she had no memory of her time travelling, but now she knew everything which made it all so much worse.

The old gaping wound in her chest was wide open, but it wasn't aching for Edward this time, but for Jacob. Bella was close to hysteria. She hoped she would be strong enough to resist but her body was craving his touch, her soul was crying out for him. If this was hell then she was in it right now. She clenched her hands into fists, beating at the floor, gritting her teeth. She wanted to scream, to let the whole world feel her pain.

What was she supposed to do now? Wait for Victoria to come and claim her. Was that the plan? "I'm right back where you wanted me, bitch. What do you want me to do now? Huh. ANSWER ME!"

There was a sudden crash. Bella started, rising to her feet in shock. Blood pooled in her numbed limbs preventing her from running. She waited. Her brown eyes wide with fear and back pressed against the front door. This hadn't happened before. Who was it? Victoria? Bella's heart stuttered in her chest. Panic bubbled up in her throat threatening to make her vomit. But then the last person she expected to see appeared in her line of sight. She had to be dreaming. She had to. Her longing for him had conjured his image up in her fevered imagination. Either way she didn't care.

Bella's body sprang to life. She ran toward him, flinging herself into his arms, clutching at him like a woman drowning. She expected him to vanish like a ghost in the mist but when she connected with his warm, hard body she was jolted back into reality. This was no vision. This was real flesh and blood. He was here. "Jacob." She breathed in awe. She gazed at him, her eyes roaming his beloved face. He was panting as if he'd been running hard. His eyes were wild as if coming down from a high. He closed them, inhaling sharply. Then he opened them again, seeming calmer, more focused. Her surprise at seeing him slowly turned to confusion. He shouldn't be here. It was impossible. This wasn't the Jacob from her timeline. This was her Jacob, the man she loved and had been forced to leave behind. "What have you done?"

Jacob cupped her face between his warm hands. He leaned forward pressing his forehead against hers. He closed his eyes again and swallowed thickly. It took him a moment to respond as if he was trying to make sense of what had just happened to him. "You were having another seizure. You were fading right before my eyes. I had to do something." He confessed eventually. "So, I phased so I could follow you."

A/N-thanks for reading! It seems Jacob's theory was true after all. Hell in a handbasket what will happen now!