3
"What are you boys doing out so early? You're not looking for any trouble are you?" one of the Toadettes said seductively.
"What do you want from us?" Mario asked the two lady Toads, realizing that they were trying to seduce them.
"The question is, what do you want from us?" the other one asked.
"Information." Luigi responded. "What do you know about Lord Crump and his mafia?"
The Toadettes looked at each other with puzzled expressions, realizing that they were dealing with men that were not looking for pleasure.
"I'm afraid we don't know anything about him." said the first Toadette in a rather hesitant manner, as if she were hiding something from the two brothers.
"Hmmm." Mario said. "Are you sure? You might want to rethink that, because I'm sure you two would do anything to get your hands on a couple of human men like us. I mean, how often do you see humans running around here?"
"What the hell are you doing?" Luigi whispered. Mario gave him a serious, yet suggestive look. He immediately understood that Mario was only trying to get information out of the two ladies, but it did not seem to be working.
"Your brother seems to be the quiet type…" said the second Toadette.
"How did you know he was my brother?" Mario asked.
"You two look alike don't you?" the first Toadette responded, as both ladies got closer to Luigi. Luigi became uncomfortable.
"Um. I hate to rain on your parade," Luigi said, "but I only flirt with people of my own kind. And, as a side comment, why the hell would I pay for something that I can do for free?"
The two ladies became silent.
"Now tell us, what do you know about Lord Crump?"
"We don't know anything, unless you have the balls to show us what you've got!" said the second Toadette.
Mario was getting angry and frustrated.
"Listen, you filthy whore!" Mario said. "Pardon my profanity, but I don't care how many, or what kind of men you get lucky with, we're just trying to get information from you two! Who do you work for?"
"Alright, mister. You caught us." said the first Toadette. "We do in fact work for Lord Crump."
"And are you aware that he's trying to find a hidden relic somewhere outside of town?" Mario asked.
"Yes."
"Do you know anything about that and him trying to visit an old friend?" Luigi asked.
"He did mention something about a crystal star that was below the ground." the second Toadette said. "He also said that the very collapse of the Mushroom Kingdom would depend on it."
"Say, you don't think he might be working for Bowser, would he?" Mario asked.
"No one really knows what he does." said the first Toadette. "For all we know, he could be working with Bowser behind everyone's back."
"Hmmm…" Luigi said. "Does Lord Crump have a usual hideout in this town? By the way, we never caught your names."
"I'm Claudia." said the first Toadette. "This is Sheryl. And you guys?"
"I'm Mario, and this is my brother Luigi." Mario said.
"Where have I heard those names before?" Claudia said to herself out loud.
"Aren't you two famous or something?" Sheryl asked.
"Not really." Luigi said.
"Don't give me that!" Claudia said. "Your brother rescued you from Bowser when you were an infant! Your names were also mentioned in this morning's paper!"
"Great, we blew our cover!" Mario said out loud.
"What are you guys running from?" Sheryl asked. "Are you affiliated with the disappearance of the two princesses?"
"Partly." Luigi said. "But it's not for the reason you think. When Bowser invaded the castle last night, we were trying to keep the princesses safe by taking them to our house. But it was right then when Bowser broke into our house and kidnapped the princesses and tried to kill us with a Bob-Omb! Luckily, we managed to escape, but we now have no place to live and pretty much almost no money to keep ourselves fed, plus we aren't exactly dressed the way we want to be."
"So what you're telling me is that you two are trying to save the two princesses from Bowser?" Claudia asked.
"That would be right." Mario said.
"Well, why didn't you guys say so?" Sheryl said. "No wonder you guys wanted information out of us!"
"Sorry for that nasty comment I made to you, Sheryl." Mario said. "I was just frustrated."
"Don't worry buddy. I'm used to it." Sheryl said.
"You guys want to know where Lord Crump is hiding?" Claudia asked. "Well, I'll tell you now. He owns his club called the Trouble Center, which is located in the East Side, but it's heavily guarded by his army of X-Nauts. Not only that, but everyone who dares enter the club is required to give them a secret password in order for them to enter."
"Do you two know the password?" Mario asked.
"No. Only the X-Nauts and members of the Robbo Gang are allowed to know the password."
"Wait a second…" Luigi said. "What's the Robbo Gang?"
"The Robbo Gang is a group of gangsters that has a rivalry with the Pianta Syndicate. There's always violence erupting between the two groups. If I were you, I would try to avoid any them. They will kill you."
"Would they happen to know anything about Lord Crump's new project?" Mario asked.
"You bet, but I highly doubt that if you try talking to any of them that they'll tell you. You could always try eavesdropping on them if you can." Sheryl said.
"How can you tell them apart from other people?" Mario asked.
"You can't." Claudia said.
Mario and Luigi gave each other regretful looks, clearly saying to each other: "This is going to be much harder than we thought!"
"Couldn't you just take us into the club?" Luigi asked.
"We would, but we're under strict orders not to bring anyone back with us to the club unless they can get the password right." Sheryl said. "We would tell you, but like we said earlier, we don't know the password."
"Darn." Mario said. "Before we go, can you tell us about Lord Crump's 'old friend'?"
"I wish, but our knowledge is limited there as well." Claudia said. "The only thing we can tell you is that he lives very far from here, as he said last night when he announced that he was looking for a Crystal Star."
"Now that you mention it," Mario said, "I wonder if he was referring to a particular Crystal Star."
"Well, he did say that it was ancient." Sheryl said. "At least a thousand years old."
"That could be a clue." Luigi said. "In my studies of ancient Mushroom Kingdom legends, I've only come across on one instance of a lost relic, or relics, in the shapes of stars that were that old. However, I don't remember the whole legend."
"Hmmm…" Sheryl said.
"Is there a local library close around here that we can go to?" Mario asked.
"Yes. There's one located in the Central Plaza." Claudia said. "You should see it right when you enter the area. It's hard to miss."
"Cool. Thank you!" Mario said. "We should probably get going now. Me and Luigi have yet to get breakfast."
"Well, I'm glad we were able to help!" Sheryl said. "And thank you for helping us."
"How did we help you guys?" Luigi asked.
"We've realized that there are better things that we can do with our lives than hang around a bunch of perverted and desperate men that don't have lives." Claudia said. "I guess it only took some harsh criticism from two rather famous brothers."
"Well, I'm glad you two are making the right choices." Mario said. "What's Lord Crump going to do when he realizes that you two quit your jobs? He isn't going to try and hunt you girls down is he?"
"If he is, then he better do a good job trying to find us!" Sheryl said. "He can't find us where we're going!"
They laughed. As the brothers said goodbye, they rounded the street corner and headed for the nearest restaurant they could find.