The first day back in her apartment, Maddie found out that Jane had finally decided on moving in with her boyfriend Parker of two years. "We've been talking about it for awhile. Finally decided to take the plunge." Jane explained, setting two cups of hot tea on the kitchen table. A part of her actually wanted the space all to herself for once. Another was sad to see her friend go, realizing she probably wouldn't see her as much. And another was terrified of being alone with her thoughts.
Jane looked across the table at her friend worriedly. "You sure you're okay…?" Maddie nodded at her with a warm smile. "Of course you're not 'okay'. Stupid question. After everything that crazy bastard put you through. I'll move back in if you're not. I'm serious."
"No." Maddie protested.
"Parker begged until I said yes. I mean, I wanted to move in with him, but he had to beg me. I can delay it for a few months."
"Janey, I'll be fine. I'm happy for you."
Jane played with a loose string on her place mat. "I still can't believe what happened to you. I'd be a basket case. Hope they lock him up for the rest of his life."
Maddie couldn't even respond to that. It felt like she was being pulled in twenty different directions. Damn him for doing this to her.
The second day, the nightmares started at full force and she realized how afraid she really was of the Joker's pull on her and of him in general. Everything about him frightened her in the dreams. His face. His body. His touch. The sound of his feet walking towards her across the floor. The footsteps were loud during her captivity because of the wood floors. She always heard him coming. All she did was run from him in the dreams and all he did in them was hurt her physically and emotionally until she became afraid enough to wake up with a start, sweat dripping down her forehead. In one of them, they were at Arkham that day during the visit and it ended with him slitting her throat.
After that, she hired a locksmith to put two more dead bolts on the door. She obsessively checked them even when she was in the house for the day. She was also convinced that Joker's goons were following her. One afternoon she was in a coffee shop after classes got out and noticed a man staring at her outside of the store window. He was tall and gangly and wore a grey hoodie. He tried to act like he was just standing against a post reading the paper, but was obviously watching her. And closely. Maddie checks behind her cautiously after leaving and feels like she's being watched for the rest of the day.
Was it just paranoia? She didn't trust her own mind anymore.
Weeks pass and she see's less of everyone: her friends and Bruce and Alfred. Most of her time is spent in classes or at the hospital. Work seemed like the only thing to keep her mind off things. Between the daily nightmares and suspicions of being followed, it was all too much to handle.
She caved when Bruce left at least ten voicemails for her in the span of a week inviting her over for dinner. He noticed the change in her quickly. She felt his eyes studying her from across the table and feels her whole body flinch when his hand brushes hers. He withdraws it, surprised.
"Sorry." Maddie mumbles, cutting the fat from the edges of her steak.
"When was the last time you slept?" Bruce asked her directly.
"Bruce, don't start. Please."
"Alfred's the one who brought it up. I suspected, but didn't think anything of it until just now. He's worried. So am I." Bruce sighed, watching his sister eat and her hand tremble as she lifted her fork. "How often do you get them… the nightmares?"
"Bruce." She warned him again, looking up this time.
"It's normal after what you've been through. Doctor Parsons gave me the name of a specialist the day you checked out of the hospital. Call him."
"No."
"You need to talk to somebody."
"I don't need a shrink." Maddie said with a frustrated laugh.
"You shouldn't be alone."
"STOP treating me like a child. You wanted me to come to dinner. I didn't feel up to it, but I came any way. Isn't that enough? What do you want from me?"
"Anyone can be traumatized. It doesn't make you-"
Maddie drops her fork on the table with a loud clank. "I'm not afraid of him. He's in prison." Bruce watches her, disbelieving. "You know what would be really nice? If for once I could go through something on my own without you and Alfred teaming up to jump down my throat. You don't know anything about it."
He tried to touch her hand again. "Maddie, please."
She moved it away. "Leave me alone."
A week later, she was making something in the kitchen a little after eleven not able to sleep and there was a soft knock at the door. She grabbed the baseball bat next to the couch and looked out of the peephole. A younger cop. She put the bat down and opened the door with a confused expression.
He really was the youngest looking cop she'd ever seen with boyish good looks, black hair, and a kind smile. He was wearing a GCPD issued jacket and looked like he was freezing. "Miss Wayne?" He said.
"Last time I checked. What can I do for you tonight officer?"
It took John a moment to respond as he couldn't stop staring at her. He expected Maddie Wayne to be attractive because of her frequent picture in the paper during and after her kidnapping, but the black and white print definitely did not do her justice. She was probably the most stunning woman he had ever seen up close. When he noticed he was still staring, he snapped out of his daydream and immediately went into professional mode, flashing his badge. "I'm, um, I'm Office Blake with the GCPD."
"I know." Maddie told him and motioned to the clearly visible emblem on his jacket.
John looked down at it and let out an embarrassed chuckle. "Right. Commissioner Gordon asked me to come by and check your apartment. Well, your brother asked him and he asked me and you were on my way home." Strike one. Too much information. Way to sound like a babbling idiot, John.
"I see." Maddie said, trying not to laugh at his nervous demeanor. It was kind of cute in an awkward way and he was the first person to make her want to smile in weeks. "Do I know you? I feel like I've seen you somewhere before."
John shook his head. "I don't think so. I would've remembered you." Strike two. He could have smacked himself for that one. John holds his badge out to her, slowly remembering why he'd taken it out in the first place. "Take a look at it if it makes you feel more comfortable or call the station." He steps back into the hallway. "I'll wait out here."
He could only imagine how paranoid she must have been after everything. He watched as her body tensed and she looked away awkwardly to pull her sweater around her small body. He glanced past her into the dark apartment, tensing a bit himself. "Any unwanted visitors… something like that?" He asked, studying her body language carefully. That was one of the only things he was confident about regarding his job: his instincts.
"Hey." He said to her in almost a whisper and she turned to look at him. "If something's wrong in there give me a signal. Blink your eyes. Touch your hair. Anything."
Maddie shook her head softly. "It's just too quiet in here. Only me tonight, Officer Blake." Normally, she would trust someone with a kind face like John Blake's, but not tonight and probably never again. She reached for his badge and her fingers brushed his. They both noticed but chose to ignore it. "So, you want to search my apartment?"
"Just a quick sweep if you'll allow it, Miss Wayne."
"One condition." She said, peeking at the ID inside his badge. "John."
"What's that?"
"Call me Maddie."
John smiled and nodded slightly, still embarrassed being in her presence for some odd reason. "Yes ma'am." Strike three. You're out.
Maddie moved aside for him to enter. "Did you just call me ma'am?"
"Bad habit. My partner and I were interviewing witnesses all day." John said and started to walk through her small apartment. He had expected it to be larger because of her bank account, but that was probably an unfair assumption. He looked in the bedroom, the closets, the bathroom, down the fire escape, and checked the windows. Everything seemed to be in order. When he got back to the kitchen area, she had made them coffee, and he couldn't help but watch her move… it was more of a glide… from the coffee maker to the sink.
"Sit down."
John shook his head. "Got to get back."
"To what? You said it was the end of your shift."
John smiled at her. "I did say that, didn't I?" She set the coffee cups down and he took a seat. "In that case, sure."
"You're so young."
John looked at her strangely. "Thanks?"
"I just meant for a cop. You look so young."
"I'll take that as a complement."
Maddie turns her wrist when she reaches for the sugar and John notices the fading bruises on her skin. "That from the kidnapping?"
She dropped the canister of sugar and quickly retrieved it in one nervous motion. "Yes." Maddie answered, glancing over at him briefly. Most likely the bruises were from that day at Arkham during their visit. She slowly poured sugar into her coffee mug and offered some to John.
He shook his head, suddenly wracked with guilt for making her so anxious.
"It's just a bruise." Maddie tells him and moves to put the sugar back in the center of the table. John gently takes it from her and does it himself. "He won't hurt you or anyone else. We'll make sure of that."
"Not only young, but also idealistic. You're not like the others are you?" She asked him.
"What do you mean?"
"The other officers. I've met almost all of them volunteering at the hospital. Most of them are rough. Jaded because of what they see everyday in this city. But you're not are you?"
John's brow furrowed as he listened to her. He wasn't upset about what she'd said. It was probably true. Gordon had told him the same thing once when they were alone. A lot of cops he worked with on the street had become jaded. Some of them (most of them now) were on the take. Dirty. But he still felt the need to defend them. "We see a lot of messed up stuff. It changes you. I'm guilty of some frustration from time to time. I try and treat everyone with the respect they deserve even when they don't."
"I've seen you at the boy's home too. That's where I remember you from."
He looked up at her, surprised. "When?"
"On Monday when they hired me."
"As what?"
"A volunteer. Rich girls don't need jobs."
John chuckled softly. "Right."
"I was walking out of the Reverend's office and you were talking to a few of the kids. Showing them the yo-yo."
"They didn't know how to use it properly. When do you start?"
"Next week. Just a few afternoon's a week. Some weekends. I guess you could say that I'm trying to get my mind off of my real life."
"Well, they're lucky to have you. Now I know who Kevin was talking about. The short, stocky one. Watch out for him. He thinks you're 'mad cute'."
Maddie smiled, embarrassed. They awkwardly lock eyes for a moment when a loud pop sounds from outside the window. Maddie jumped about half a mile, almost taking the chair with her. John put his hand on her shoulder to steady her. He could hear people running outside and another gunshot. Farther away this time. John stands and directs Maddie to the floor. "Stay down for a minute." Maddie quickly climbed under the table in a state of panic, knees pulled to her chest. The only thing she heard was her own breathing. Another gunshot made her whole body react.
John opened the balcony window and saw a few people running around a corner. Kids most likely. He called dispatch and let them know what was going on. Cops were already canvassing the neighborhood and were less than five minutes away. Lucky for him. The last thing he wanted to do was chase a couple of kids down in the dark. He turned to see Maddie had moved into the kitchen against the counter on the floor. Her arms were wrapped around herself and she was completely still.
He stood over her for a moment. "Probably just kids. It's okay now." He watched the top of her brunette head nod slightly. He sighed, knowing that she was terrified and why. He hadn't been on the job long, but over the years he'd seen enough people with PTSD in orphanages and boys homes and even his own foster homes to spot it a mile away.
John slowly held his hand down to her, but she still wouldn't move or look up at him. He tried another approach and leaned down to her level. "They're gone. Nothing to be scared of." Still no response. John wanted to see her face, to read her somehow, so he cautiously moved a section of hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear. Not even this got a reaction. "You gonna let me help you stand up?"
Maddie covered her face with her hands for a moment, beyond embarrassed. She didn't even know this guy. "I… I don't like guns. I'm ridiculous. I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize. I don't like them either. Never even used mine." She is silent, still looking at the floor. "It's okay now." He repeated softly.
Maddie glanced up at the window over the balcony where the shots had come from and took John's hand when he stood up. She smiles at him weakly. "Thank you."
"Do you want me to call someone for you?"
Maddie starts to clear the table. "I just need some sleep. It's been a long week. Thank you for coming by. It was nice to meet you, Officer Blake."
"My pleasure. No problem at all." John assured her and took out a piece of paper to write on. "I actually live really close by. Seven or eight blocks north. If you ever need anything, feel nervous, any problems, give me a call. Doesn't matter what time."
She takes the slip of paper from him when John's phone rings. "Excuse me." He answers, mumbles a few sentences, and hangs up. "They got 'em. Couple of kids fighting about a debt. Something stupid like that."
"I really hate this city sometimes."
"I know the feeling."
"Thanks." She holds up the paper. "For this."
He nodded and stepped out into the hallway. "Any time. Have a nice night."
"You too, John."
He looked back at her. "What happened to Officer Blake?"
"John suits you."
"You're not ridiculous." He tells her.
When she smiled at him one last time and closed the door, he didn't move until he heard the three dead bolts click and the chain move across the top of the door.