"T-That's...wow," Lena stuttered. "I'm not even sure what to say."
"You don't really have to say anything at all, honestly," Maura replied softly. "Except we would both particularly appreciate your silence on the matter, yours and Stef's." The honey blonde swallowed hard. At Lena's confused look, Maura added, "I, of course, find it natural that you'd want to discuss it with her."
"Oh, of course," the dark-haired woman agreed. "It will go no further than the four of us. It's not our place to reveal something like that."
"It all just happened so quickly, honestly," Maura continued. "The compatibility has been there all along, right from the moment we met. But it didn't take me very much longer after to realize my attraction. It wasn't very long for her, either."
"And the age difference?" Lena asked softly. "Developmentally, I'm sure you know that you and Jane are in two completely different life stages. She's how old, 20?"
"19," Maura replied, swallowing hard. "I'm 35."
"19 and 35 are worlds away from each other, Maura," Lena commented.
"I know, but," Maura paused, quickly trying to find the words. She looked away toward her lover on the beach, who was laughing and kicking the ball back and forth with the children and Stef. "Jane is different. For once in my life, I don't even have the words to describe it."
"I'm so sorry everything is so complicated, but I must say, you two do seem to be very good together."
Maura blushed and dipped her head, breaking her gaze toward Jane. "Thank you."
After several minutes of silence, watching the children play at the edge of the crashing waves with Stef and Jane, while still not looking at Lena, Maura felt compelled to explain everything a little further. "I also want you to know that my husband and I married partially for companionship and partially out of social obligations. We haven't even," Maura paused, clearing her throat, "been together for three years, and while I do love him and care about him deeply, the feelings I have for him absolutely pale in comparison to what I already feel for Jane."
"It's a natural human desire - the need and want to feel loved and to love in return. I can understand that aspect completely, of course," Lena said quietly.
Maura was silent for a moment before she finally said, "Some would say it's wrong to feel this way about someone else when I'm married."
"Do you think it's wrong?" Lena countered.
Almost immediately Maura's hazel eyes clouded with tears. As she replied, she finally met Lena's gaze. "My logical mind says that it is. My heart tells me a completely different story."
"Then I suppose you need to decide which is more important to you in this situation. It's not my place to pass judgment, Maura."
Maura gazed longingly back toward the young brunette on the beach. "I can't imagine my life without her anymore."
"Then as long as you're both happy, and your children are well-provided for and loved, does the rest of it really matter to you?"
The simplicity of Lena's words made Maura laugh lightly for just a moment, despite the tears that had welled up in her eyes. Brushing the tears away, Maura replied, "No, the rest doesn't really matter."
"That's your answer then." Glancing down at her watch, Lena then asked, "What do you say we head to your house for lunch? It's a little after noon."
"Yes, let's pack up and head in," Maura agreed, then added, "Also, don't worry about lunch. We've got enough for everyone. I went to the market this morning."
"Oh, we couldn't possibly do that. I'll just head up to our house and grab-"
Maura quickly interrupted. "I insist, Lena. I bought enough for this very reason. I figured that sandwiches would be the quickest with the children. We've got ham, turkey, and I even bought peanut butter and jelly per Jane's instructions."
"As long as we can return the favor, Maura. It's only fair," Lena said. "I can make my famous spaghetti. This evening if you'd like."
"Sure," Maura replied with a smile and light laughter. "I'll look forward to it."
"Oh, and Lena?"
The dark curly-haired woman looked at Maura. "Yes?"
Maura swallowed the lump in her throat. "Thank you," she said softly.
Lena smiled in understanding. "You're welcome."
"We have a little shower here on the porch to rinse off," Maura said to the other three adults over the chatter of the excited children as she pointed to it. "We can leave all of the beach bags and equipment out here."
Jane turned to Maura. "You wanna get started while we all wash off? You didn't even leave your beach chair the whole morning, so I know you don't need a shower," the young brunette said with a grin.
"Actually, Jane," the honey blonde replied. "If you'd rinse off quickly first and come inside to help me start preparing?" She then paused and turned to Stef and Lena. "Would you mind helping Ethan and Samantha rinse off so that Jane and I can start making lunch?"
Instantly Lena replied, "Absolutely! Anything to help."
For some reason, Maura asking her to help made her nervous. The older woman seemed a little too insistent on getting Jane to help her, which made her think Maura needed even just a moment alone to discuss something.
Jane turned on the shower and rinsed off all the sand stuck to her body, then quickly dried herself off before wrapping a towel around her chest, tucking in the edge tightly.
As soon as Maura unlocked the beach house back door and the two of them were inside with the door shut, Jane stepped right into the kitchen and Maura, hot on her heels, whispered, "I accidentally told Lena."
Spinning around, Jane's eyes widened, mouth agape in horror. "You did what?!"
"I'm sorry. It just kind of happened. Lena and I started talking and eventually it became inevitable. I couldn't see a way around it!" Maura quickly explained. "I can't lie, Jane!"
Jane leaned against the counter at the kitchen sink and crossed her arms over her chest. "Jesus Christ, Maura. What did she say?" the young woman asked quietly.
"That it was not her place, nor her wife's, to tell others something like this. She assured me it would be kept between the four of us," Maura said.
"I dunno, Maur," Jane said. "It makes me nervous."
"I think things will be fine, Jane. If it becomes an issue, we can deal with it then, like we have been doing. Let's just focus on lunch right now and we can talk more extensively about it tonight, okay? If you would like," Maura replied, attempting to soothe Jane.
"Yeah, okay, you're right," Jane agreed as Maura stepped closer toward her. Only several inches apart, Maura's left hand came to rest lightly on Jane's hip and the young brunette, placing her left hand just to the side of the small of Maura's back, pulled the honey blonde in roughly.
"Jane," Maura gasped. Her eyes quickly narrowed in warning.
"I love you," Jane whispered. "But I hate sometimes that we have to sneak around."
Maura smiled back. "I love you, too, and one day we won't have to, okay? But right now you have to let me go of me before everyone comes through the door."
Immediately Jane dipped her head to press her lips gently to her lover's soft lips, eyes closing briefly before sliding her hand around Maura's hip and then, fingertips against the older woman's hip bone, gently pushing Maura backwards.
Pulling out her hair tie, Jane fixed her messy ponytail, strands having escaped here and there, and then washed her hands as Maura began pulling sandwich supplies out of the fridge and cabinets.
Just before 7pm that evening, Maura, with a bottle of Shiraz in her left hand, knocked on the burgundy door of Stef and Lena's beach house, Jane by her side and both children standing just in front of them.
Moments later, the door swung open to reveal a smiling Stef, who quickly stood to the side. "Right on time! Come on in. Lena should be finished making the spaghetti in about 15 minutes and I'm on garlic bread duty." Looking down at Ethan and Samantha, she grinned. "I hear there's a game of Candy Land about to start in the living room. Think they're waiting for you two!"
With no hesitation, Ethan and Samantha brushed past Lena, bright smiles stretched across their small faces as they all but ran to join Jesus, Mariana, and Brandon in the board game.
"I brought a bottle of Shiraz that will pair well with dinner," Maura told Stef softly, holding up the bottle in her hand. "I hope that's okay?"
Lena winced. "I'm not sure we have an opener."
The statement was met with an instant laugh from Jane, who held up her right hand with a wine bottle opener. "Then I guess I should tell you that Maura always prepares for everything."
Maura turned her head toward Jane, a smile tugging at her lips at the young woman's words. "Almost everything."
A soft laugh came from Stef. "Okay, then. Come on in."
Minutes later, with Jane and Maura sat at the small kitchen island and the other couple shuffling around the kitchen in wonderful harmony, finishing up dinner preparations, Stef pulled out three small glasses to pour wine, offering her condolences that they didn't have any proper wine glasses.
At the sight of only three glasses, Maura shot Jane an apologetic look, which didn't go unnoticed by Stef.
"I'm sorry, Jane," Stef said quietly. "But I can't really allow underage drinking, especially not in my presence."
The young brunette just shrugged her left shoulder, feigning nonchalance. "Nah, I get it. It's cool."
Despite her words and pretending not to care, not being included in the wine glass count bothered Jane a little. It reminded her immediately of her age, which taunted the insecurities she had already started to struggle with in her budding relationship with Maura.
After Stef turned away to finally put the garlic bread into the oven, Maura turned to look at Jane and she noticed the very subtle way Jane's expression showed her disappointment at not being included. She quickly reached a hand to Jane's knee and gently squeezed, giving the younger woman a reassuring smile. Jane simply shrugged again.
"Brandon, honey," Lena called to him the living room. "Will you wash up and set the table for us, please? Plates and silverware are already on the counter."
"Mom, it's almost my turn!" he protested.
"Brandon," Stef replied in warning.
"Fine," the young boy grumbled, heading down a short corridor and into the bathroom to wash his hands.
"Jesus, Mariana," Stef said. "You wash up too."
Suddenly finding a reason to remove herself for a few moments from what had turned into an awkward situation for her, Jane softly announced, "I'll help Ethan and Sam wash up."
With one final squeeze to Jane's knee, Maura removed her hand. The two stood simultaneously, Jane calling out to the children to come with her to wash up and Maura moving to open the bottle of wine and pour it into the three glasses.
After dinner, the children returned to the living room area to continue their game of Candy Land while the adults sat around the dining room table and talked.
All four of them, however, felt a slight tension in the room, making each a little uneasy, but also unsure of how to clear it.
Finally, after a brief silence amongst them, Jane took a deep breath, then cleared her throat. "Okay, can we just talk about it and get it over with? I can't be the only one who feels awkward right now. We've talked about everything but it."
"What?" Stef asked, confused.
Lena broke in before Jane and Maura could speak. "I haven't had a chance to tell Stef yet," she said quietly.
The light blonde's eyebrows immediately rose as she turned toward her wife. "Tell me what?"
"Shit. Really?" With a quiet groan, Jane's hands covered her face in embarrassment.
"Tell me what?" Stef repeated, looking to Jane and Maura.
"Jane and I," Maura started to say before she paused, taking a deep breath. However, she found herself unable to continue the statement, her face beginning to flush.
Stef turned back to Lena expectantly. The curly, dark-haired woman quietly said, "Maura and Jane are together, honey."
"Excuse me?" Stef asked, her brow furrowing. Her head whipped around toward Maura. "I thought you were married?"
The look on the woman's face caused Maura's blush to deepen and she looked down, swallowing hard. "I am," she whispered.
"So you're cheating on your husband?" Stef quietly half-asked, half-stated, though the tone of her voice certainly revealed her displeasure at this announcement. "With a woman nearly half your age?"
"Stef," Lena hissed in warning. "It's not exactly-"
Turning to look at her wife, eyes wide in horror, Stef said, "No, don't defend them. It's not okay! How would you feel if I cheated on you, Lena? Huh? We're raising three beautiful children together and though I fell in love with you when I was technically still married, nothing happened. I at least had the decency to have a conversation with Mike and explain that I realized I was gay!"
"You don't know anything!" Jane interrupted angrily through clenched teeth, pushing back in her chair and standing, her finger pointed toward the older light blonde. "He doesn't even love Maura and it's not like we planned for any of this to happen! So please, get off your damn high horse and spare us your holier-than-thou judgment."
Her piece spoken, Jane quickly turned and headed for the door, opening it in haste, leaving it to shut behind her just a little too loudly.
For only a moment, the three adults sat there stunned. Suddenly Ethan jumped up from the living room floor and ran for the door, quickly opening it and taking off after Jane. Maura was up in a flash to rush after both of them.
Jane had already made her way well past where the cars were parked, her long stride hastening.
"Jane, where are you going?" Ethan called out, chasing after her. "Come back!"
At the sound of Ethan's voice, Jane whipped around, bringing her hands to her face and wiping away the falling tears leaving tracks on her cheeks.
"Ethan go back inside, please," Maura said loudly from the middle of the small yard. Sensing he was about to protest, Maura ordered, "Now."
The young boy sighed before turning around and trudging back past Maura, up the steps, and back inside, all while saying nothing but certainly pouting.
"Jane," Maura said just loud enough for the brunette to hear. "Please come back."
Several seconds of silence passed between them. Finally Jane's shoulders slumped and she walked back to Maura. Once standing in front of the older woman, she said softly, "I'm sorry."
Maura took a deep breath. "Remember the conversation we had last night about some people being judgmental?" When Jane nodded, the honey blonde continued, "This is obviously one of those moments, and while I understand you're feeling hurt and I truly do appreciate you defending us, you could have handled the situation a little better."
"I wasn't about to just sit there and let somebody tell me that what I feel for you is wrong, Maura!" Jane replied, clenching her teeth.
"I know that, Jane. You think I don't feel the same way? But it doesn't change the fact that you could've been a little more tactful. I need you to do that, okay? You have to do that for me, for us. Not just you, though. I have to make sure I do it, too."
Jane swallowed the lump in her throat and ran her long fingers through her dark hair. "I just...she doesn't understand, Maura. She doesn't know the whole story. This isn't...it's not..."
"Then we'll explain, and maybe she'll feel differently, but if she doesn't, there's nothing else we can do, Jane. We'll have already done our part and the rest is up to her."
"I'm sorry that I just stormed out like that," Jane whispered.
"I understand why you did, but I think you should have allowed me the opportunity to speak as well," Maura replied, cupping Jane's left cheek. "I have long since honed my skills in - what's that expression?" she paused, glancing to the side as she tried to remember. "Oh yes. Bringing someone down a notch or two." When a smile broke out across Jane's face and she laughed briefly, Maura returned the expression, then pulled her lover into a tight embrace.
Jane's lips were right at Maura's right ear. After a moment, the young woman replied, "I don't know how I could face them again."
"I'll be right there with you, my love. We'll both be fine."
Together Jane and Maura turned and walked back to the steps of the beach house, despite Jane's reticence in resolving the situation.
No...this is not to drudge up more drama. It's definitely a realistic situation, but if you watch The Fosters, you know that Lena is a bit alternative in her approach to conflict, much more lenient and certainly less judgmental. Stef, on the other hand, is a little bit of a hot head and often says things without thinking of the consequences, so she ends up backpedaling to try and resolve the conflict. Many times she comes around as she begins to understand all sides of it, but she doesn't really do so immediately.
Perhaps that's just my interpretation of their characters. If you watch that show as well, let me know if that's how you see their characters or not. I'm curious!
Side note: shout out goes to BostonRocket's friend who visited her this weekend and gushed about this story. It gave me the boost that I've been needing to finish the next chapter so that I could post this one.
Leave your feels below. :)