all who have my story in the alert list: I am sorry for making you recieve so many emails. I just deleted chapter 1 (because I think it's not really necessary ...(Author's note was its title). This for I decided to upload this chapter again so you all get the right link.
THANK YOU ALL for your reviews and suggestions. It's great to hear from you from time to time.
Meredith was lying on her back, having Addison's head rest on her chest and holding her tight.
"I wish we could lie here like this forever." Meredith closed her eyes and ran her hand over Addison's back.
"Hm." Addison agreed.
At that halfhearted answer Meredith startled. "Everything okay?"
"Yes, sure. It's just…" Addison's thoughts had been going round and round in circles ever since Meredith had woken up. Trying to hide her shock and astonishment from her discovery she propped herself up on her elbows.
"…I am more than hungry. I could eat a whole cow."
"Yeah, me too. Seriously, I don't even remember when I've eaten the last time."
"You haven't eaten? But…"
Addison stopped again in midsentence. Having eaten a lot would have been the only logical explanation to her. Now that this definitely didn't was the case she was quite sure. Meredith just had to be pregnant. Most of the time she could trust her instinct and what it looked like Meredith had to be quite far along. Why didn't she tell her? Pushing away those distracting thoughts she sat up, looking into Meredith's confused eyes.
"But what?" Meredith was surprised by Addison's weird behavior and not sure what to do or say she again waited for an answer.
"Let's go eat something. Our first night together as a couple and we are starving. That's surely not the best omen."
"Yeah, but first…" Sitting up she threw her arms around Addison and pressed her close to her chest. "It's weird, it's awkward but I just love every little bit about it."
Pulling back she underlined the just said with a more than bright smile. Addison had to fight a laugh. Meredith's hair was more than a mess and adding the sweet smile one just had to love her. "It?"
"Our relationship. It."
"Ah." With these words Addison jumped out of the bed. "I really have to take a shower. I stink." Looking down herself she grimaced.
"Only if I get a good-bye hug." On her knees Meredith waddled across the bed, throwing herself at Addison who had to fight to remain in an upright position.
"Uh, what are you doing?"
"Loving…" Meredith paused and distracted she gulped. "…you. Seriously, we have to eat something. I am already sick of not having eaten for such a long time."
Addison looked at her in disbelief. No, it couldn't be? Could it? Did she not know what was going on with her?
"Are you sure that it's because you are hungry?"
Bewildered Meredith looked up. "Yes. I mean, what else could it be? I haven't eaten and my blood sugar level … don't even get me started on that. I believe there is not one tiny sugar molecule left."
"If that is so I really have to hurry. I'll be down in ten minutes." Shy she kissed Meredith and the moment she wanted to turn around Meredith pulled her back for another kiss. Addison felt Meredith's lips on hers and her tongue in her mouth. Giving into the moment she relaxed and giving back what she received they slumped back onto the bed.
Meredith's whole mind and body was with Addison and she felt great. She didn't wanna let go of her. Feeling Addison pull away she smiled.
"That was…amazing. Now, hurry." Laughing she pushed Addison off her.
"Hey, you were the one who started the attack."
"The attack?" Meredith laughed, sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Yes, you heard right." Smirking Addison reached for her clothes and already on her way to the bathroom she heard Meredith sigh.
She was still sitting on the edge of the bed when Addison returned from the shower, not having been able get up. Confused Addison stopped.
"You're still here?"
"Damn night shifts." Meredith cursed and slowly she raised her head. Within the second all thoughts at her nausea were gone. The picture that presented itself in front of her literally took her breath away.
Addison was standing in the doorframe. Naked. Her hair wrapped up in a white towel and her clothes in her hands she just stood there. Here and there some water drops made the body sparkle like hundreds of little diamonds where scattered over her slightly toned skin.
"I'm sorry. I thought you were already in the kitchen and so…" Blushing and lowering her head she tried to cover herself with her clothes.
"Please, don't." Meredith slowly got up from the bed. Addison started to shiver, not knowing if it was for the excitement or the actual temperature in the room.
Breathing quickly Meredith couldn't tear her gaze away from that beautiful sight and once again she closed the gap between them.
"Let me take those." She tossed the clothes onto a chair and slowly wrapped her arms around Addison's chest. Feeling the wetness of the water droplets creep through her shirt Meredith recognized Addison's shivering.
"Are you okay?"
"I…I think so." Insecure and shakily the answer came back.
"Come with me." Meredith guided her to the bed and invitingly she lifted the bedspread. She wanted nothing more than to feel Addison close to her, touch every single inch of her body and whisper sweet nothings into her ear.
Addison on the other hand was at the brink of a nervous breakdown. Everything was moving forward way too fast and quivering and shivering she slowly crawled under the sheets.
Meredith reached for the towel and slowly pulling it loose Addison's wet mane fell onto her shoulders.
As fast as she could manage Meredith undressed too, throwing her pajamas to the towel on the floor. She felt like she could burst any second. Everything around her had vanished and the only thing she tried to focus on was to remain calm. Feeling Addison's naked body against hers she wanted so much more.
"Hey." She lightly kissed Addison. "Are you sure you are okay?"
"I…this…" Addison wasn't able to finish. She felt Meredith's hand wander from her shoulder down to her breasts and distracting thoughts went through her mind.
"What is it with you Addison? You've jumped into bed with every guy you've known so far so easily. Why is everything so different? Why are you acting like a teenager having the first experience in bed?"
Meredith stopped breathing. She felt hot. Her hands wandered over Addison's breasts and gently she pressed against them, feeling Addison squirm beneath her touch. Distracted she pulled away, realizing that she hadn't been breathing at all. Longing for air she stared into Addison's fearful eyes.
"Did…did I hurt you?"
"No, I…" Slowly and soothingly she stroked Meredith's cheek.
"I don't know what's the matter with me. Normally I am not shy at all but this…"
She gulped and looking into Meredith's big waiting eyes didn't make it easier on her.
"…this is totally different. I don't even know what this all means to me, to my attitude to life, to relationships and to sex. I love you so much and wouldn't want to hurt you in any way. I…" A single tear twinkled in the corner of her eye.
Meredith was taken aback. She felt sorry for Addison and a bit guilty for being so upfront.
"I am sorry. I…you…you make me feel like…" Lowering her eyes she finished. "..you make me feel like without touching you I can't live."
"I…that's…I want you. I want to be close to you, I want to be in a real relationship with you, with everything that comes along. EVERYthing, you hear me?"
Addison paused and waiting she hoped that Meredith would grab that anchor to bring the topic to her 'secret'. Not giving an answer Meredith snuggled close to Addison.
"I am sorry if I rushed you into something. What do you want me to do? How should I act?"
"You are doing nothing wrong. I just need some time to come clear with our situation here."
Having remained in the embrace for a while Meredith suddenly pulled back and inhaled sharply. Trying to focus she slowly breathed out.
"What's wrong?" Alarmed Addison sat up, seeing the color drain from her cheeks.
"I…I don't know but I think this whole 'not eating enough' stuff wears me out. Seriously, that sucks." Trying to fight the urge to puke she remained in the bed for some more minutes.
"I heard that ginger really helps to settle one's stomach."
"Never heard of that. But it's already fading. We can continue our talk over some dinner. It's nearly five."
Addison just nodded and after having dressed she gave Meredith a hand.
"Take it slowly. Come on."
They walked down into the kitchen. Addison eyed Meredith and she truly felt not okay. What if she was right? What if Meredith was pregnant? Not knowing if or how she should approach the topic Addison decided on waiting.
"Coffee?" Meredith's facial color had already returned to a human one.
"Yes, please. Are you a coffee person? What's your favorite food?"
Amused at those random questions Meredith placed the coffee can in the coffee machine and went to the fridge.
"Yes, I am. Totally. I think there is more caffeine in my system than blood. And my favorite food…I like many things. But I guess it would be salad with chicken."
"Me too. I don't think I can even work without coffee."
Trying to sound cheery she continued.
"And I love Chinese food. Gosh, I could eat it every day three times."
Meredith nodded. "So, what are we gonna eat?" Staring into an almost empty fridge she blushed. "Normally Izzie does the shopping but I guess she didn't have time. I suck at cooking. She is the one who is passionate about it and so I…I leave it to her."
"I love cooking." Addison laughed. She moved over to Meredith and together they continued staring at some leftovers.
"Do you have noodles? What about noodles with some sauce?"
Nodding and kind of relieved Meredith closed the door.
"I think we have."
And again she had no idea what she was doing. Opening every cabinet she finally found the desired object. Laughing both continued cooking and after half an hour they finally had managed to prepare something edible.
"You really crack me up." Addison mumbled, still some noodles in her mouth.
"What? Why?" Surprised Meredith looked around her. Was there a lost noodle somewhere or some spatters of sauce? Wiping her mouth she questioningly looked at Addison.
"Because at work you are such a professional and when it comes to life you just…" Laughing Addison tried to finish the sentence. "…you just suck."
Meredith joined in. It was true. When it came to every day situations she was more insecure than doing a difficult operation.
"Imagine it the other way round. I am really glad I suck so much at cooking."
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George was a complete mess. The whole baby thing did worry him more than he had expected. Sitting at the kitchen counter he watched Callie scanning through the baby book "What to expect when you are expecting". He gulped.
"Hey, George. Come over here. Look, that's what our baby looks like if I was already pregnant." Beaming she smiled at the book in her lap. Breaking away from the picture for a moment she invitingly gazed over to George who was still not moving.
"Come on, George. Please."
"Alright, alright. I am coming." Giving in he joined her on the couch and took a quick look at the photo Callie was pointing at.
"Uh, gross. What the heck is this?"
"How dare you say this." Furious Callie slammed the book onto the living room table.
"Oh come on. You are not even pregnant yet and you are acting crazy. I don't even want to be a father right now. Why can't we just enjoy our marriage for some years and then have kids? I…"
At this unexpected turn of events Callie jumped up. She couldn't believe what she had heard.
"What did you just say?" Her voice was only a tiny whisper. Trying to hold herself together she stared at George.
"I…Call…I…don't want to be a father right now." George admitted calmly. To his own surprise he was sure of what he had to do. Telling the truth.
Raising her voice and becoming louder and louder Callie stomped through the apartment.
"Oh, that's nice. I get my hopes up and I really try to be positive and everything. You said yes to me. YOU-SAID-YES!!! And now you take it back."
Furiously she slammed her fist at the kitchen counter, making George wince.
"What if I am already pregnant? Do you plan to leave me? Do you plan to force me having an abortion? Do…"
"NO." Shocked by this turn of the topic he interrupted. "NO, you know I would never ever ask this from you. You … that hurt."
Laughing a fake laugh Callie approached him, standing only a few feet apart.
"That hurt? Oh, I hurt you? You poor little man. Sure, I am the one who is the devil, who is ending your life by wanting a baby."
"I…let me…" Feeling panic creeping up inside of him George tried to focus on another goal. Calming down his wife.
"No, I don't let you. I …" Taking a deep breath and reaching for her purse she stomped to the door. "…I have to think things over."
With these words she slammed the door behind her. George heard her angry steps and heard another door clicking shut.
"What have I done? What have I done?" Running his hands through his hair and over his face he paced up and down in the living room.
"Why am I such a jerk?"
Callie hadn't come far. She was sitting at a park bench, crying heavily, not caring about the staring passers-by. Her heart ached and her only thought was her big dream. Till now it had been solid like a rock but within the last few weeks it had turned into a fragile soap bubble that could burst every second.
Deep inside she could understand George's reaction. He wanted to have some fun, enjoying their marriage. But she had waited her whole life for that opportunity to come and every time she was close it didn't work out. Either the guy was the wrong one or she just didn't become pregnant.
"Please George, I don't want to break up with you because of this reason. But…" Blowing her nose and wiping her tears away she leaned back and pointed her view up to the dark grey sky. "Please tell me what to do. I don't know how I can wait any longer."
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"What…Meredith?" Izzie's night shift had finally ended and dragging her tired body into the kitchen she saw a big bowl of noodles. "Meredith?"
"Hey Iz." Sleepily Meredith's head appeared in the crack of the living room door.
"Did you cook?" Narrowing her eyes Izzie questioningly looked at her friend.
"Yes, we cooked." Smirking she turned around.
"We?" Putting one and one together Izzie sprinted over to Meredith and pulled her back.
"Addison?" Her voice was barely audible and her smile seemed to go round her head twice.
"Yes, Addison is here. Say hello."
"No, I can't…" She tried to act like she wasn't interested at all.
"Oh come on. I can see it in your eyes, you…" Meredith couldn't even finish her sentence as Izzie had already made her way into the living room.
"Hey, Addison."
"Oh, hi. Hi, Izzie." Surprised Addison looked her way. "We are watching '…along came Polly'."
"Uh, I loooove this film." She clapped her hands and slumped onto the couch right next to Addison. Meredith rolled her eyes. Good grief!!
"I haven't seen it so far but…"
"No? You haven't? Wow..." Surprised Izzie leaned back, staring at the freezed image at the screen.
"Uh, that's a funny scene. I love Ben Stiller. Isn't he sexy?" She paused.
"I…Izzie…" Meredith tried to interrupt.
"Uh, but you guys are looking out for the women in there, aren't you?" Giggling Izzie watched both of them blush.
"We…" It was Addison's turn to squeeze in a comment.
"Who do you like best? Jennifer Aniston or Debra Messing. I am going for Debra. Love the way she acts. And I think that ferret is too cute, don't you think? With that little pullover and…"
"IZZIE!" Meredith had lost her patience. "Could you please give us some privacy?"
She had heard her own words whilst talking.
"I am sorry." Izzie got up and strode towards the kitchen door. Meredith tried to grab her arm but missed it.
"Izzie, I am sorry. I didn't mean to be rude…" She couldn't hear the rest. Izzie had already left the kitchen and was heading upstairs.
"Seriously. I just wanted to be nice. But give her one finger and she will grab the whole hand. No…worse. The whole arm."