Song: Nico Vega "Iron Man"

Chapter 24

After checking on the boys Nicole went out to the backyard in search of her father.

"Dad?" She called out as she closed the sliding door behind her. The soft sounds of crying could be heard across the yard and she followed them to the boy's swing set.

When she reached him she knelt before him, "Dad? Are you alright?"

Andy didn't know what to say. The last few months had tested the strength of their relationship and at the moment he wasn't entirely confident in saying it was going to make it to the other side of all this mess. He nodded at his daughter and cupped her cheek in his hand giving her a weepy smile.

"I'm sorry about Charlie. I can't figure out what got into him tonight." She shook her head still spinning from everything that happened twenty minutes earlier.

"Nicole, there's nothing for you to apologize for, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm sorry for bringing this mess into your house. How are the boys?" Andy asked feeling immediately concerned for his grandson's after having witnessed this massive family argument.

"Dean's with them. When I checked in on them a few minutes ago they seemed alright, they were all playing with the legos you got them for their birthday. I don't think there's any fallout to worry about Dad," Nicole replied catching on to her dad's fears.

"That's good, I'm glad sweetheart." He moved to stand up, "Can I help you clean up?"

Nicole took a step back to give him some room to get up, "Actually it appears that the guys took care of everything. All the food has been boxed up in Tupperware containers and in the little to-go boxes I had for everyone to take leftovers home. Dean and I can manage the dishes, I'm sure you're eager to get home and check on Sharon."

Andy gave a small smile, hearing that the boys had stepped up to help made him feel a little better about leaving Nicole's, "I do, although I'm not expecting to find her there when we get home."

"Oh," Nicole muttered, "You know dad, even though the news didn't come out in the best way it's still good news," she bumped his shoulder getting him to look up at her, "I'm really happy for you, for both of you."

Andy pulled his daughter into a big hug for the well wishes about the engagement, "Thank you Nicole, you have no idea how much that means to me. And to Sharon."

"I'm not sure what happened between you guys after Charlie left, and I don't need to know, but I hope you're able to sort it out. Don't let all this stuff with Charlie, or mom, get in the way of you finally getting to be happy. You've been paying penance to us, and to the world for almost twenty years now I think it's okay to move on. You've earned it and more importantly you deserve it." She hugged her dad back and walked back into the house.

Andy looked towards the sky once more and wondered how much more odd the evening could get. He never thought that he and Nicole could ever reach this point of acceptance in their relationship. Pulling out his phone he gave Sharon a call, he wasn't surprised when it rang through to her voicemail. "Sharon, honey, I know you need sometime to sort things out. I just want to know that you're somewhere safe. I also wanted to let you know that Nicole has given us her blessing, she wants us to be happy. I love you and I hope to see you when we get home tonight. Be safe." He hung up, took a deep breath and moved back into the house.

Gus, Rusty, and Ricky stood in the kitchen loitering, unsure of what they should be doing if anything at this point.

Ricky was the first to speak, "Andy, why don't I take Gus and Rusty back to LA. You can go check on mom."

Andy looked up at his other "sons" trying to read their faces. Ricky seemed okay, but he could tell Rusty was feeling upset. He knew the kid would feel guilty about the fight thinking it was all his fault. It wasn't of course, but Rusty still struggled with these kinds of issues. "It's up to you. I can take Rusty back with me since your hotel isn't far from Gus's place then you don't have to do extra driving on top of all you've already done today. But whatever feels right to you three."

Gus gave a glance towards Rusty and decided to make an executive decision, "That works for me. Ricky?"

Rusty was clearly surprised, but gave a grateful nod to his boyfriend. The three grabbed the leftovers they packaged earlier and made their way to the front of the house to get their coats and say goodbye. "I'll just be a minute Rusty. Why don't you get this stuff in the car?" Andy suggested while handing him the keys. He figured giving the kid a task wouldn't be a bad idea at the moment.

Andy went into the boy's room and apologized to Dean for the outburst and arguing his family had brought into his home. After giving the boys a big hug and promising to come and see them in their school play "A Christmas Carol" next month he got back in his car. Rusty gave him a nod and then drove off into the night.

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Sharon sat in her car at some park she came across while driving aimlessly through the valley and held her therapist's card in her hands. Alternating between sobs and beating her fists on the steering wheel, she found herself feeling utterly lost. Not since Jack left, the first time, had she been so overwhelmed with the feeling of being adrift. This time she knew she wasn't alone and while that should have given her comfort, in that moment it actually made the feelings hurt more deeply.

It was the strangest sensation she's ever had to feel so alone even though she had never been more connected to someone else. When Jack left she was certainly alone and technically, legally still connected to him, but it wasn't the same as this. Despite wanting her marriage to work, trying to keep her family together deep down she knew that once Jack decided to choose alcohol and gambling over her and the kids that she had lost him forever. This relationship now with Andy though opened up a flood gate of memories. Some brought out happy thoughts, but mostly she found herself sinking from the tidal wave of fear. She really thought she had put these issues behind her, moved on, but her heart was clearly telling her something different.

Taking a deep shuttering breath she slowly dialed the numbers to Trisha's cell phone, unsure of what exactly she was going to say, but feeling like she needed to reach out to someone. She knew she could call Gavin or her sister, maybe even her mom but right now she needed someone who was without agenda. As the phone began to ring she pulled it back and was about to disconnect the call when a voice came through, "Hello?"

Sharon didn't respond.

"Hello?" Trisha repeated.

Sharon replied, but her voice got caught in her throat and a whisper came out instead.

"Sharon? Is that you?"

Sharon nodded, as if the woman could see her, surprised that she could have guessed that it was her calling on Thanksgiving evening, "Uh, yes, it is."

"Is everything alright?"

"I'm not sure. Um what I mean is, uh I shouldn't have called you on a holiday. I'm sure you must be with your family. We can talk another time, I'll be, uh I mean I'm fine really." She stumbled out.

"Sharon, I can tell that you're most certainly not fine, and if I was too busy I wouldn't have answered my phone. Everyone here is in turkey coma anyways, so why don't you tell me what's going on."

Sharon let out a mirthless chuckle that came out more like a strained sob, "Are you sure? I mean this can really probably wait until our next session."

"Sharon it's fine. If you're calling me then I know there's a problem, so why don't you stop deflecting and tell me what happened?"

Sighing she shook her head, she had no idea where to start. The whole day had been a disaster from the moment she got out of bed right up to her leaving Nicole's — alone.

"Why don't you start at the beginning?" Trisha prompted.

Sharon proceeded to recount the day's events back to Trisha. As she spoke in short ramblingly sentences she felt her anger towards the situation return and rise, once again she was surprised by her reaction.

"…And so I left. I went for a drive and finally stopped at this park. I found your card in my coat pocket and well I'm not sure why I called you really, but here we are." Sharon let out a breath as she finally paused from telling the story.

"That sounds like an awful lot, but you know I didn't hear you say anything about how any of that made you feel. Why is that?"

Her jaw dropped as she looked around in her car feeling astonished. After everything she just told Trisha and she asks that question, couldn't she tell how she felt? "What do you mean? I think how I felt was pretty obvious."

"Was it? To whom?"

"You know maybe this was a bad idea after all. I really should get back home my kids are going to wonder where I am." Sharon said reaching for her keys to turn the ignition on her car.

"And Andy? Do you think he's wondering where you are?" Trisha pushed.

She dropped her head into her hands, knowing that of course Andy was wondering about her, he's the one that sent a dozen text messages and several missed calls.

"I'll take your silence as a yes. Why didn't you mention him?"

Sharon felt the simultaneous build of tears and anger bubbling up, threatening to spill out, "It's his fault! He's the one that pushed for this annulment, he's the one that had the damn heart scare, he's the one that made us go to therapy, he's the one that blurted out to everyone that we're engaged, he's the one that didn't come after me!" Her entire body was shaking as this revelation escaped her lips. She quickly put her hand on her mouth shocked by what she just said, "I didn't…I didn't mean that."

"I think you did, and that's okay. You've been thinking these things for awhile now, burying them deep down and you needed to let them out."

Tears and snot were running all down her face, her voice a near whisper "Why would I say those things?"

"Let's start with why you're upset that Andy didn't come after you tonight. Why did you think he would or rather should chase after you?" Trisha asked avoiding giving Sharon the answer she already knew.

"I guess I just assumed he would, especially after that last big fight we had. We said that we would talk and not run away from each other." Sharon managed to say after a few quiet moments.

"Uh huh, and who ran away tonight?" She inquired.

Sharon paused, knowing the obvious answer to her question, "me" she answered softly.

"You didn't want to stay and talk tonight. You told him you needed some space and he is trying to give you what you asked for, even if that isn't what he wants."

"He's always doing that," Sharon stated almost forgetting that she was saying it aloud.

"Doing what?" Trisha pressed, wanting Sharon to come out and say it.

"Doing what I want, or at least trying to." Her voice sound resigned and sad at the meaning behind her answer.

"And yet you're mad at him. Why would he think that he would be welcomed if he did come after you? Have you ever told him that's what you want, or rather need?" Trisha inquired.

Sharon let out an annoyed sigh, "He would be welcomed, but I can see how he might think otherwise."

Before Trisha could ask another probing question Sharon continued her train of thought, "Perhaps I'm still more closed off than I thought. Being too self-protective and not open enough with Andy. I didn't really think I was scared about moving our relationship forward, but maybe I am."

"Sharon, I don't mean this to come off to harshly, but you are. I saw the fear emanating from your body the first minute I laid eyes on you." Trisha's voice softened as she continued, "I think you convinced yourself that you were being open and receptive to Andy and your relationship, and perhaps in some ways you have, but in the big ways the important ways you haven't."

"Trisha, what am I going to do? I can't go home and face him tonight. I don't know what to tell him about all this. How do I tell the man I'm engaged to that I have cold feet?" Sharon shouted into her car feeling her anxiety swell once more.

"Sharon, I want you to take a few deep breaths. Giving yourself an anxiety attack isn't going to help. Ok? Good, in and out, in and out." Trisha repeated the words a few more times until she heard Sharon's breathing begin to even out. "Tell me, do you love him?"

"Yes, with all my heart," Sharon replied without hesitating.

"Then you don't have cold feet. You have some issues from your past that need resolving, some healing and self-care to do, but you and Andy will be just fine." Trisha said reassuringly.

"How do you know that?" Sharon asked not meaning to have a chuckle slip out.

"Because I do." Trisha laughed back, "I've been in this business a long time. I can tell. Probably the same way you can tell when someone is lying or guilty of a crime. You just know. I can also say that because I know how much Andy cares for you. Besides after reading your assessments you two were destined for each other!"

Sharon laughed a bit more confidently, "I'm not sure you would be saying that if you met us ten or fifteen years ago!"

"Touche, but in all seriousness Sharon two people who care for each other as deeply as you and Andy — that doesn't develop overnight. This connection between you has probably been there since day one. It might have been buried underneath other things and covered through thinly veiled flirtation that appeared to be arguments, but it was there. I promise you that." Trisha said with no hint of jest or sarcasm in her voice.

Sharon didn't respond, she wasn't sure what to say. Trisha's comments were a bit of a revelation on top of everything else that had already come up this evening. Her brain was feeling overtaxed, her eyes were heavy and she knew she still had a drive ahead of her.

"Sharon, I know you're feeling tired, you probably will for another day or two. The level of emotional energy you've felt the last few days and exerted today is going to leave you feeling exhausted. Let your body and mind take the time to rest. Go home to Andy and your kids."

"Wha, What do I say to Andy?" Sharon repeated her earlier question.

"Right now, tonight, you don't need to say anything. Sharon, Andy already knows all this—" Trisha was cut off by Sharon's interruption, "He, what? He knows —" the panic evident in her voice.

"Sharon, breathe, calm down. It's all going to be okay. He may not know everything or all the specifics, but he knows you Sharon. As I said, you two are connected. You know when the other is hurting or happy or even hiding something. It's probably the reason he's waited for you, and why he's been pushing for you to go to therapy with him. He cares about you and he knows something is wrong." Trisha stopped to listen to Sharon's breathing which seemed to be slowing again before she continued, "Send him a text to let him know you're safe and that we talked. Then go home to him and your kids. He won't push you Sharon, he's not Jack—" Her words filled the silent car as Sharon listened.

Trisha's words carried weight and clung around her he's not Jack. She's heard those words from many people, herself even, but coming from Trisha they felt different, even sounded different. Sharon wasn't sure why or even what that meant, by now she was too fatigued to contemplate it any further. She muttered, "Ok" to Trisha. She had nothing left to give tonight.

"Ok. Call me if you need to Sharon. I'm here for you as much as Andy is, and I'm glad you called tonight. I'll see you next week and we can figure out where to go from here. Get some rest and enjoy the rest of the time you have with your family. Goodnight Sharon."

"You too. I will. And uh thank you Trisha." Sharon replied and hung up the phone. She spent a few minutes staring out her windshield at the darkened neighborhood that surrounded the park.

Clicking open her messages she read through her missed texts from Andy before sending a quick reply.

Sharon: Heading home. Probably 25 minutes.

Sharon turned on the ignition and backed out of her parking spot, when her phone vibrated. She wasn't surprised that Andy replied so quickly. She put the car in park for a moment to read and reply.

Andy: Okay. Are you okay to drive or do you need me to come and get you?

Sharon: No, I'm alright. Tired but fine. I spoke with Trisha.

Andy: Good I'm glad, I'll wait up for you.

Sharon: I love you Andy.

Andy: I love you too. Drive safe.

She set her phone back in her center console and began the drive home. Her eyes were heavy and her body felt parched from the rare emotional outburst she experienced. As she got onto the freeway she thought of a comment Rusty made a few years back about not freaking out, Guess I do freak out now and then. Merging onto the 101 heading south she relished the only positive from the day that there was no longer any traffic to come between her and getting to her family.

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AN: Thank you for all the lovely reviews for the last chapter. It was emotional to write this one and the last one, and it would appear from the comments it was just as emotional to read.