I have so much to do for Finals. But I wrote this instead.
"You okay?" he murmurs, sliding his arms around her as she chops the veggies for the salad. She insisted that she help with dinner; she felt useless and awkward perched against the island.
She knows he doesn't want her to feel guilty, but she can't help the way it gnaws at her. She's been uncharacteristically quiet beside him as he stirs the pasta, only speaking long enough to ask him where he keeps the knives and the cutting board.
"Yeah, just…" She cranes her neck to make sure Alexis is out of earshot, who grew tired of watching them fuss around the kitchen. If she's not mistaken, she heard the 1st Harry Potter flick start a few minutes ago. "Thinking," she finishes lamely, giving him a weary smile.
He sighs, brushing a kiss across her temple. "You need to stop beating yourself up over this. She'll be fine," he promises.
She chews the inside of her cheek. "And you?" she asks quietly.
"Dinner smells absolutely delicious, Richard," Kate hears a woman announce as she enters the kitchen. Kate clears her throat, shrugging out of Rick's grasp.
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry. How rude of me. I didn't realize we had company."
Kate sets the knife down and smoothes her shift anxiously.
"Mother, this is Kate."
Kate smiles, turns to face the older redhead. "It's wonderful to meet you, Ms. Rodgers."
Martha grasps Kate's hand in hers. "Oh, darling, please call me Martha. Ms. Rodgers makes me feel positively ancient. And who wants that in their 50s, I ask you?"
Kate laughs, already taken with the dramatic actress.
"Richard's told me so much about you, dear. I'm sure he's thrilled that you could join us this evening." If the woman is angry about what happened, she's hiding it well. But her tone is warm and sincere.
Kate looks over at Castle, leaned against the counter, watching the exchange with happy eyes and a pleased smile.
"Only good things, I hope," Kate teases, sliding her gaze back to Martha.
"Oh, please. The boy practically worships the ground you walk on."
Rick coughs, spine straightening quickly. "Mother, why don't you and Alexis set the table?" he interjects quickly. "We're almost finished."
Martha hums, sending Kate a wink before fetching the little girl.
Kate moves toward him, cocking her head, mouth twitching in amusement.
"She has a tendency to exaggerate," he offers lamely.
She closes the distance between them, presses a kiss to his shoulder. "I think it's sweet," she says softly.
He grins. "In that case, the woman speaks the truth."
She places a hand on his chest, fiddling with his buttons. "I think pretty highly of you, too, Mr. Castle."
"Can Kate come to the park with us, tomorrow, Dad?" Alexis asks around a mouthful of bread.
"She might have to work, sweetie," he says, squeezing Kate's knee.
"Actually, I have tomorrow off." Kate pauses. "I start at the 12th Precinct's Homicide Division in a few weeks."
"That's great," Rick says proudly. "We'll have to celebrate tomorrow." He hesitates. "Unless you have other plans?"
She shakes her head. "Free as a bird."
"Grams, you should come with us. It'll be fun," Alexis promises.
"Oh, I wish I could, but I've got my acting class tomorrow."
"And we know she needs the practice," Rick whispers to Alexis, hiding his mouth from Martha. Alexis giggles behind her hand.
"See if I invite you to my next play," Martha huffs.
Castle clutches his chest dramatically. "How ever will we survive?"
"I'd love to see you in your element, Martha," Kate says, throwing Rick a look.
"Suck-up," he mouths.
"That's very kind of you, dear. I'll be sure to let you know after I sign on for my next role."
Kate smiles, takes the last bite of her salad. "Sounds great."
"Can you stay for a movie, Kate?" Alexis asks, polishing off her glass of milk.
"Actually—"
"Kate and I have a few things we need to talk about, Alexis. Just a few grown-up things." He checks his watch. "It's almost bedtime, anyway."
Alexis sighs. "Okay."
"We'll spend all day together tomorrow, Alexis. I promise. Maybe we can watch a movie, too. I haven't seen Harry Potter yet," she admits.
Alexis's eyes light up. "It's so good," she says reverently.
Kate laughs. "It's a date. I'll even bring ice cream." She waggles her eyebrows.
"Don't forget the gummy worms," Alexis warns.
Kate smiles. "Got it."
Martha starts to pile their plates on top of each other, collects their empty glasses. "Kiddo, why don't you help me with the dishes while these two talk, hmm?"
"Mother, you don't have-"
Martha waves her off. "Nonsense, Richard. You and Kate cooked us a lovely meal. It's the least we can do." She and Alexis traipse off to the kitchen, leaving them alone.
"Come on. We can talk in my office, where all the magic happens," he jokes, holding out his hand. She rolls her eyes, smiling, and takes his palm as he leads her away from the table.
"This is great, Castle," she admires, her eyes glancing around the office.
He smiles. "It's a great atmosphere to write in."
"I can see why," she replies, running her fingers over the titles of his books. "Have you written much lately?"
He hesitates. "Not exactly. I haven't…felt all that inspired lately."
Oh.
He watches her face fall and backtracks. "My new one just came out, so it's really not a big deal at this point. If a month passes and I still don't have anything written, then there's a problem." He pauses. "But I anticipate a bout of inspiration right around the corner," he says, keeping his tone light.
"And this would be the part where I apologize again for the way I treated you."
"Kate—"
"No, it's—" She sighs. "I needed the time, Castle. These last six weeks—I needed them. And I'm so grateful you gave me space, but I could've handled our situation better." She tugs at her lip. "I could've found a way to keep in contact, especially with Alexis, and maintain my distance. So while I can't apologize for staying away, I can tell you how deeply sorry I am for hurting you and your daughter," she finishes softly.
He nods, grateful for her apology, but something lingers in his eyes. He leans against his desk, keeps his eyes trained in front of him, deep in thought. She cocks her head, shuffling toward him, but he doesn't meet her gaze.
"Hey," she prods gently. "What is it?"
He shakes his head. "It's not important. You're here now,"
"If something's bothering you, then I wanna know about it," she says firmly.
He runs a hand through his dark hair, scrubs it over his face. "Just." He sighs. "Why'd you push me away, Kate?"
Hmm. She should've seen this one coming. "It's not a reflection on you, Rick. You've been wonderful. But," she shakes her head, "I haven't had anyone to lean on in a really long time. After my mom died, my dad lost himself in the bottle and I depended on myself to get through everything."
"You can trust me."
"It's not a matter of trust. When we met, I already had an established pattern. I'd already learned to deal with everything on my own."
"Which hasn't seemed to work out all that well," he says.
"No," she agrees. "Which is why I've been seeing a therapist for the last six weeks."
"Does it help?"
"Seems to." She gives him a small smile, reaches up to rest her hand upon his cheek. "I was thinking, that if you wanted to, you might…"
"What?"
She lets out a breath. "Maybe you want to come with me sometime soon?"
He smiles. "Yeah?"
She nods, leans in to rest her head against his. "I really, really like you, Castle. So if this is going to help us make this better, then what do we have to lose?"
He wraps an arm around her waist, tugs her closer. He kisses her gently, soft and tender. "I'd love to come with you."
Thoughts?