Chapter 25
Exams came sooner than I realized. I probably should have been studying instead of working last week. I have my final exams tomorrow and Thursday. The last couple of days had been spent cramming, packing and fighting the urge to text Santana. My life has turned into another T. Swift song. Most of my apartment fit into a few boxes. Tony even offered to drive down with my furniture and leftover boxes in his delivery truck. I looked at the calendar, it was hard to believe that today was June 25th; I had five days until I'd be looking at Lima in my rearview mirror. I finished packing another box and went back to studying.
Sugar text me to see when I was studying for English. She was the only student in eleventh grade that was taking twelfth grade English; something to do with her Aspergers. I told her it was my last exam and we text Marley to make a date for tomorrow night to study.
I crammed a little longer for math because it was my toughest exam. It would have been nice if I had San here with me. She always made calculus seem so easy. I pushed the thought from my head and packed up my books. I brushed my teeth and headed to bed.
The next morning, I woke up early to go over my review one more time. As I was going through formulas, there was a knock on my door. I grabbed my hair tie and threw my hair up as I walked to the door.
I pulled it open and was shocked to see Santana standing there.
"How's the studying going?" She asked, holding two cups of coffee and leaning against my door.
"It's math," I said, scratching my head, "could be better."
"Maybe I can help? You up for a three hour power tutoring session?"
"Absolutely," I say, smiling for what felt like the first time in a long time.
She stepped in, handing me a coffee. I looked behind her looking for Brittany.
"She thinks exams are a mini vacation period, she'll be in bed until lunch," Santana explained when she saw me looking for her girlfriend.
"That explains the whole not graduating thing," I murmur under my breath.
"What?" San asked from the kitchen.
"I said I'm glad you're here, I can use the help," I lie.
Santana pulls the other stool beside me and starts flipping through my textbook. She's pointing out different formulas and equations but all I can think about is her.
"Jamie?" She asks, waving her hand.
"You're not even paying attention. You're not going to be able to copy off me for this one you know," she says with a smirk.
I shake my head and smile, "I know, I just need a second, I haven't got my coffee in me yet."
She sits back and takes a sip of her drink.
"You're place looks so different, it's so empty," she says looking around.
"Yeah, it surprisingly packed up pretty easily," I say, taking it all in as well.
"I would've helped if you had called," she said, looking at her cup.
"I know, just figured you'd be busy," I say, brushing it off.
"I always have time for you," she said, placing a hand on my arm.
"You might, but Brittany doesn't," I let slip. I don't want to fight or make it weird, but I want to know why things have changed.
"I know, it's my fault," she replies, "I shouldn't have let her treat you like she has. You and I just got so close, so fast; I think she just became jealous. Whenever I was with you, you would always make me laugh and smile."
"That's how it should be, always," I interrupt.
"Yeah, well," she answers.
"I never wanted to come between you guys, I love being with you and I would rather have you in my life as a friend, than not have you at all," I tell her.
"I know, I feel the same way, there's been so many times that I've wanted to drop what I've been doing and come here," she admitted.
"Why didn't you? You know you're always welcome here," I said.
"I didn't want to put you in an awkward situation with Brit again," she said, not looking at me.
"I can handle Brittany. It sucks that she making you choose between us especially when we're only friends. Even now, you had to sneak over here while she's sleeping. It's not like we've given her a reason not to trust you," I say.
She looks at me, "I'm just trying to make everyone happy," she says.
"When do you get to be happy?" I ask. Neither of us said anything, we sat quietly drinking our coffee.
"We should probably get back to your studying, we both know you need it," Santana said, nudging her shoulder against mine. We both smile a little, knowing how hard it is to argue with one another without laughing. We went back to studying before leaving for our exam two hours later.
I was one of the last out of the exam. I was exhausted and looking to go home for a quick nap before Sug and Marley came over for our exam cram. As I came out of the school, I saw Santana leaning against my car, face to the sun, soaking it up.
"Wow, you really like to get all the bang for your buck eh?" She asked, hearing me walk up.
"Not all of us are secretly crazy smart," I say. I stood facing her. "Thanks for coming to help me study, it definitely helped," I admit, shoving my hands into my pockets.
"Anytime, it's the least I can do considering the last couple weeks," she said moving closer to me, "I do want to make that up to you."
I look at her and nod my head. I'm not really sure where we go from here.
"Can I drive you home?" I ask. She smiled and nodded. We drove most of the way discussing the exam, when I pulled up to her house, I had this weird feeling that it would be the last time I'd see her. It was as if she had read my mind.
"I don't want this to be the last time I see you," she said turning in her seat to look at me.
"That's the last thing I want," I say, "but hopefully we'll have all next year to hang out," I say, optimistically but deep down I can feel sadness starting to take over. I want so badly to lean over and kiss her. I reach for her hand instead; I can feel it trembling. I turn to her and place my other hand on her cheek. She looks down and I lean in and kiss her gently on her soft cheek.
"I'll see you around Santana Lopez," I say quietly, pulling back.
"Don't let me lose you Jamie," she said, pulling my hand up to her lips. We smiled at each other as she got out of the car. I watched her walk up the steps to her house and open the door. She turned to wave and I lifted my hand in response.
"Not saying goodbye is way harder," I tell myself as I drive away.
As I lay on my couch just waking up from my nap, I hear a knock on my door. I jump up, pushing away all the fairy tale endings of Santana and I. I try to tell myself it's not her on the other side of the door, ready to run off into the sunset with me. Secretly still hoping it is, I pull open the heavy door to see my two best friends standing there with food, balloons and books. I smile at them and invite them in.
"We're here for our cram sesh slash goodbye party!" hollers Sugar as she walks toward the kitchen. Marley hands me the balloons and gives me a hug.
"Not that it's goodbye forever, right?" She asks.
"No way," I say with a laugh, "who's going to sneak you guys into all the college parties?"
"That's exactly what I need! College boys! When do you leave?" asks Sugar. We laugh and set up around the island.
Studying had been going well. I wasn't too worried about my English exam but the cramming made me that much more confident.
"So?" Marley said.
"So?" I ask back, laughing a little.
"Have you said all your goodbyes?" She replied.
"Some, I saw most of the lacrosse girls this week and said bye. I have to go see Coach Beiste tomorrow after my exam so I'll talk to her then," I explain.
"Ah, I see," she says, looking back at her books.
"What?" I ask, looking at her smirk.
"Nothing," she says, her smirk growing wider.
"What? You're a dork," I tease.
"Have you said your 'not goodbye' to Santana?" She teased back. I knew I'd regret telling her that part of the other night.
"I saw her this morning actually," I said, playing with my pencil.
"And, how did that go? Give us the details!" Said Sug.
"Well, it was kind of amazing actually," I said, looking at both of them.
"What? Really? Tell us!" Said Marley.
"Well, we met up after the exam, I drove her home and we sat in front of her house, talking. Then she leaned over and gave me the most amazing kiss and told me she wanted to be with me forever," I finish with a shrug.
Both their mouths are hanging open.
"Shut the front door!" Said Marley.
"Hot damn, for real?" asked Sug.
"No! Are you serious? I saw her after my exam and drove her home hoping I wouldn't run into her crazy jealous girlfriend along the way," I reply.
"Jamie! That's so mean, I just saw the perfect love story run through my head," whined Marley.
"Well, what did you think would happen? I've been telling you all along that we were just friends," I say, getting up to get some water.
"I don't know, I just always had high hopes for you guys," said Marley, twirling on her stool to look at me.
"So now what? You going to find yourself some hot coed when you go to college?" Sug asked.
I smile at her and shrug, "guess we'll just have to wait and see," I say, knowing no one would ever come close to San.
We studied until the wee hours of the morning before crashing and calling it a night.
As I walked to Coach Beiste's office after my exam, I stopped to grab the flowers I picked up for her. I stepped into her doorway and knocked.
"Coach? You have a second?" I asked.
"Of course Jam, c'mon in punkin!" She said standing and coming around her desk. I walked up and handed her the flowers, "I just wanted to say thank you for everything you did," I said.
"Aww Jamie, you didn't have to do that," she said, giving the flowers a quick smell.
"I know, but without you, I wouldn't have had a chance in hell at getting scouted. I just want you to know how much it meant to me to have someone believe in me like you did, I haven't had a lot of people in my life who stood by me and I'll never forget it." I looked at her, she was crying.
"Aww Coach! You going to make me squirt a tear," I said, getting up to pass her a tissue.
"Sorry Jam, it's just that I've never had a student like you before," she said, wiping her eyes. "I'm proud of ya, getting up and doing what makes you happy, don't ever stop," she said.
"Thanks Coach Beiste," I gave her a hug. I left her office and headed home to pack the rest of my apartment.
Sunday came quick. It wasn't long before my car was loaded down with boxes and I was heading towards Louisville. Sug and Marley had come over for one more goodbye. There were some tears and promises to visit, which I hope meant more of them coming to see me. As much as I appreciate Lima, with the good times and excitement, there will always be a pull at my heart from this place.
Some miles later, I arrived at the athletics building of Louisville University. The campus was huge; the building alone was as big as McKinley. I got out of the car and stretched a little before making my way inside.
"Um, excuse me," I said, waving to a young woman behind the front desk. She jumped when she saw me and pulled her headphones out.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," I assured her.
She was stunning; her long, honey brown hair falling around her shoulders and her blue eyes starring back at me.
"That's totally my fault, we're not supposed to listen to music but usually Sunday nights are slow and it helps pass the time," she said standing, "how can I help you?"
"My name is Jamie, I'm moving onto campus for the next semester. I'm here early for preseason training for the lacrosse team," I explained.
"Oh wow, scouts got us a pretty one this year," she said with a slight blush. I felt my own cheeks turn red. She held out her hand, "I'm Lauren, captain of the Louisville Cards Lacrosse team. It's nice to meet you, I've heard a lot about you," she said.
"Really? Um, it's nice to meet you too," I said, feeling a little intimidated meeting the captain of my team.
"My shift here ends in fifteen minutes, why don't you fill out your forms and then I'll give you a hand with your move," she offered.
"Oh, you don't have to do that, I'm sure you have better things to do," I say, taking the pen and papers she handed over the desk.
"I insist. We're going to be spending a lot of time together, might as well start now," she said, waiting for my reply.
I finished filling out my information and returned them to Lauren.
"Okay, you're all set," she announced, handing me a set of keys, "these are for your apartment and this card gets you into all the buildings in the athletic village and your student ID," she finished.
"The athletic village?" I ask, looking at her. She smiled.
"Come on, I'll show you around," she said with a laugh. I grabbed my stuff and followed her back out to the parking lot. I moved a couple boxes around and she was able to get into the passenger seat. She sat with a box on her lap while she guided me to the village while pointing out different landmarks along the way. I was beginning to feel completely overwhelmed when Lauren told me to pull into a row of parking spaces across from a row of town houses.
"Wait, this is where I'm living? These are the dorms?" I asked, completely shocked. She looked at me and smiled again, "athletics are taken very seriously at UofL, they're a great source of revenue so the athletes are definitely taken care of," she explained, getting out of the car and walking up to what I assumed was my new front door. I grabbed a box and followed her up the steps, handing her the keys. Balancing the box against her thigh and the door, she pushed through and stepped inside. The house was amazing. I stood at the door taking it in, to my left was a dining area, that was furnished with what looked like enough chairs to host dinner parties. To my right, was a living room; filled with a huge couch and chairs that looked like you would sink into the cushions. Ahead of me was the kitchen. It was bright with warm lights and a breakfast bar. As I was standing there, I realized my mouth had fallen open.
"Wow," I finally murmured, "this is where I'm going to live all year?" I asked, baffled.
"If you're lucky, this is where you'll spend the next four years of your life rookie," said Lauren.
"There's two identical bedrooms upstairs both with their own bathrooms and another downstairs. Usually, there are two or three athletes to a house, but because of your late offer, you're here by yourself, unfortunately."
That's okay," I say, still looking around, "I'm used to being on my own."
"Well, I wouldn't worry, there's always people who register late. Plus, with preseason training, you'll most likely only be here to sleep."
"Will it be another Lacrosse player when someone finally moves in?" I asked, finding myself hoping for some company.
"It can be any athlete. We try to keep a sense of community within the village; kind of like an 'everybody knows your name' thing. So we encourage teams to mingle and support one another," she explained, walking out to the car with me for more boxes. "The only separation the school tends to keep when it comes to housing is boys and girls. They tried a year or two ago to have it split up by sexual orientation but couldn't get it to stick, luckily," she said, looking at me as if subtlety asking.
"Yeah, luckily. Sounds good to me," I confirm.
"Is this all you have?" She said, looking at the few boxes left.
"A friend is bringing the rest once I'm settled, although I guess I won't be needing furniture," I say, making a mental note to tell Tony.
"Did you want to take a walk around? I can show you where to get some food," she offered, "unless, you want to get straight to unpacking?"
"No, food sounds good. I'm starving actually," I said, grabbing a sweater since the night was beginning to fall. We walked along the road deeper into the village. The athletic town made the actual campus look tiny. Lauren walked beside me pointing out different stadiums and fields. She pointed out the Lacrosse facilities, mentioning with a wink, that they were shared by the field hockey and rugby girls. I laughed. We grabbed some food and began to head back to my house. Along the way, she pointed out her place, which wasn't too far away from mine. She explained that her roommate was also on our team and that they were both pre med students. After another couple roads, we found ourselves back at my door.
"Well, thanks for everything. I really appreciate it," I say.
"No problem, did you need help unpacking?" She asked.
"Oh no, I can't bother you with that. Seriously, you've done more than enough, especially helped with my nerves," I admit.
"Anytime, if you need anything don't hesitate to ask," she said. "Oh and don't forget this," she started digging through her bag. She pulled out a package of paper, "this is your training schedule, as well as a list of times when you can pick up your new gear and meet the coaches," she explained handing me the stack of paper.
"Least you have a day to settle in before training starts, I'd find some time to rest up if I were you," she said with a wink as she started down the steps.
"Thanks again Lauren," I yell from the door.
"Don't mention it, night!" She said with a wave.
The next day brought rain. I wasn't too bothered, it gave me time to set up my room and get rid of some boxes. After lunch, I decided to run over and pick up my new gear from the Lacrosse stadium. I met the assistant coach and the trainer from my team. The trainer didn't seem too impressed that I was out running in the rain. However, she was quickly hushed when the coach explained that training happens rain or shine. I nodded and lifted the bags over my shoulder. I headed back to the house, excited to check out my new stuff. There was training outfits and tees, along with sweaters, a jacket and new pads and gloves. My favorite was the brand new stick. The netting was Cardinal Red; I couldn't wait to get out on the field.
That last thought haunted me for the rest of the week. The training schedule was the most intense workout I have ever been through. We started at precisely seven o'clock every morning, starting with a half marathon run. After this, field drills and lunch, followed by rigorous cardio and passing drills. I barley had enough energy to shower before falling into bed every night when I returned home at eleven. This was probably the reason I hadn't noticed the extra stuff lying around my house. I came home Saturday night after my last practice before our one day off, to see another duffel belonging to a member of another team. I looked around hoping to find out a little more about my new roommate before leaving a note. It read:
Hey,
Sorry about the mess, I'll move my stuff out of your way tomorrow. Glad to finally have some company,
Sincerely,
Your new roommate
I headed upstairs, stopping briefly at the opposite door to listen for movement. I heard soft snoring and assumed my new housemate was exhausted after her move. I headed to the shower, stripping as I walked through my room. I stopped in front of the mirror to check out my war wounds. I had a couple of nice bruises forming on my right side and a long scratch from a tumble with what seemed to be my new Roberta. I stood under the hot water and let it relax my muscles. I stumbled out of the shower, toweling off as I made sure my door was locked. I had no time for pajamas and fell into bed naked.
The next morning, I woke up realizing I had slept half the day away. Judging by my screaming muscles, I'd say my body needed it. I stepped back into the shower to let the hot water steam the pain away. When I was finished, I wrapped the towel around myself and tied my wet hair into a sloppy bun. I opened my door a crack and stopped to listen. When I didn't hear anything, I stuck my head out and saw my roommate's door open and her bed made. I stepped out, wanting to run downstairs to grab some orange juice and fruit before returning to my bed. I began creeping down the stairs, holding onto my towel. I stopped on the bottom step and listened again before turning the corner to the kitchen. Nothing. She must be out picking up equipment. I move into the kitchen and open up the fridge, after a week in the new place I'm finally remembering where everything is. As I'm filling up my glass with juice, a voice from behind me makes me jump out of my skin, dropping my glass that tumbles to the floor.
"I didn't realize it was toga Sundays in Louisville," she said. I whipped around and the sight before me makes me drop the carton of juice as well. Was I dehydrated and delusional, or was Santana Lopez actually standing in front of me?