Never Let Go

I can't understand it.

We search for an answer.

It's met with a darker day.

And we've been handed these moments forever.

But I'm reassured there's another way.

Jenny

10/29/10

5:30 p.m.

All the good feelings seemed to pop from my mind as Ron became more and more depressed. I confronted him about liking Hermione, and he finally spilled the beans, but that made him even angrier at himself for leaving them. Everyone noticed his sulking air, but no one commented, much to my relief. I worked to make him happy in the days leading up to the full moon as well as I could, but it was slow going. He played with his little Putter-outer thing constantly, making reading or writing letters impossible whenever he was around.

Before I knew it, Bill was telling me that Draco was coming tonight to give me the Wolfsbane Potion, and that Lupin was coming with him. We would go back to the woods, and it made me eager. I wanted to try to force myself to enjoy being a werewolf, and knowing who I was would certainly help. Plus, not getting gravely injured would be nice for once.

But it put Ron in a terrible mood. He still hated Draco, and I was sure the feeling would be mutual. Thank goodness they would only be around each other until I got back from the transformation, just a night and maybe half of the next day. Hopefully. I tried persuading him all day to be nice, and that we'd be fine, but he wouldn't hear a word of it. Since he couldn't obsess over Hermione's safety much anymore without having an affect on it, he tackled mine with an intensity that would surely get under Draco's skin. But I couldn't help but feel my spirits rise as Lupin and Draco crossed the front yard with Bill, and I dashed out of the house, ignoring Ron's muttered comments about Draco. Draco whipped me up into a hug, almost lifting me off the ground. "I missed you." He breathed in my ear, making me shiver slightly, but grin back at him as he set me down.

"I did too, more than you know. Your sarcasm was sorely needed here." I said and kissed him on the cheek, then accepted a hug from Lupin, the two bottles in his hand clinking on my back.

"How are you doing?" I asked him, because he looked more tired than usual. He laughed tiredly as Draco took my hand, our fingers entwining.

"Tonks is worried, of course. And when she worries, I worry." I shot him a sympathetic look as we walked into the house, just to say goodbye. We had to leave before it got dark, if we didn't drink, or if there was an accident while we were here and the moon came out…I banished the thought from my head and glared at Draco, giving him the behave look, and let go of his hand to hug Ron goodbye. I could tell they were eyeing each other over my back.

"Seriously. It's not even 48 hours. You are both on the same side, aren't you? Behave or else." I glared equally at both of them over Fleur's back as she hugged me goodbye too. "Cheers." I said to Lupin, and we humorlessly clinked potion vials and drank, everyone watching us curiously. Lupin was used to the taste, but I was not; it was worse than the orange tea, but I chugged it down, only letting my face twist once I had drank it all. "God, that's nauseating." I put a hand to my mouth as I set the vial down on the table. It made me feel weird, shaky. Lupin sighed and nodded, setting his down. He was obviously more used to it; his hands didn't shake like mine did.

"Are you ok? You're shaking." Ron said, then glared at the potion vial, then at Draco, and I knew he thought that he spiked the potion or something. Before I could reprimand him, Lupin saved me.

"That's normal. The first time I took it, it had a greater effect on me, so she's taking it very well." I winced at the 'greater effect' words, but made myself smile at Ron and Draco, to try to fool them even for a little while.

"See you two tomorrow. No fighting, or I'll kick your arses. I'm not asking you to be best mates, I just want you two to be civil." I said sternly as Ron hugged me first, then Draco gave me a quick peck goodbye. Any looks they started giving each other I didn't see, as Lupin was escorting me out the door and out of the protection field to Apparate.

The woods were almost comfortingly familiar as we appeared there. I thought I would feel slightly apprehensive, going back to the woods were the last time I would have died if not for Lupin, but I was confident in the potion. "I'll just be right over here until we change. We don't have to avoid each other anymore, unless you want to." Lupin raised an eyebrow as I blinked, his words not making sense for a moment, and I was suddenly very comfortable.

"Really? That's great! Yeah, yeah, that will work, but you can stay here, can't you?" I asked, and he frowned, starting to flush.

"No, no I can't, Jenny. I'm married." He said, turning to leave.

"Married? To who?" I asked in surprise. He was married? Since when?

"Jenny, that's not funny. What's the matter with you?" Lupin chided, striding back over, looking pissed off.

"Huh?" Confused, I rubbed the scar on my neck absentmindedly, frowning in confusion. Lupin suddenly shoved me aside and whipped out his wand, firing spells into the bushes, and green shots were coming back. I stayed where I was, crumpled on the ground from Lupin's push, confused. What was going on? The shots stopped, and I heard a popping noise. Lupin swore and kicked around in the bushes for a moment, then took my arm, pulled me up and Apparated. We appeared by cliffs, and I could hear an ocean. "Where are we?" I asked, turning on the spot to look around our dark surroundings. The moon was pushing at the clouds, but everything was dusky.

"Ennervate." Lupin said sharply, and it felt like someone had slapped my face. I blinked, then looked around and noticed Bill and Fleur's cottage behind Lupin.

"Lupin, why are we back at the cottage? We have to transform tonight!" I gasped, shocked. Lupin growled something unintelligible and started stalking towards the house. "Lupin, didn't you hear me? We will be turning into wolves tonight, in less than 10 minutes! We can't stay here! Lupin!" I shouted after him when he didn't stop, and ran to follow him. The door flew open to reveal Bill standing there, wand out, looking fierce, but relaxed when he saw us.

"Lupin, Jenny, we thought we heard someone in the yard…what are you doing here?" He asked, Draco pushing past him as he talked to come out and stop in front of me, looking concerned.

"Someone Confounded Jenny in the woods, and tried to kill me." Lupin said furiously, crossing his arms.

"What?" I gasped over Draco's shoulder as he looked me over obsessively.

"You wouldn't even remember being cursed, Jenny. Did you see who it was?" Bill asked, standing aside so that Fleur and Ron could come out onto the front porch. Lupin snorted, his expression growing stormier.

"Who else would know how valuable Jenny is? It had to be Kingsley." I stiffened under Draco's concerned gaze. The one person in the wizarding world I hated the most.

"Kingsley hatez Jenny. Why didn't he just kill her, she iz not valuable to him anymore." Fleur said in shock, making Draco swear under his breath, and Ron go pale under his freckles.

"He must want you for some reason. Why else would he risk coming to us with two Aurors following him around, plus Lupin? He couldn't even be sure if you two would be safe tonight." Draco said darkly, putting a protective arm around me as I looked blankly into the distance with overwhelming hatred and unease. What if Kingsley had Stunned or Killed Lupin? What would have happened to me?

"Does he know where you live?" Ron asked faintly from the doorway, and Bill shook his head, making a small bit of relief go through me.

"Fleur and I were careful. I'll contact the Order, you guys-" His words stopped as a shaft of moonlight hit Lupin on the shoulder, making him stiffen.

"Shit, go inside, go inside now!" I pushed Draco away, and he stumbled on the step then inside as Bill pushed Ron and Fleur in, then shut the door as Lupin started to shake, making me back up to give him room, looking up, waiting for the moon. I heard someone shout my name, and I looked around. Everyone had their noses pressed to the living room window, watching us. With a pop, Lupin exploded, his shabby clothes exploding away, awakening a thought in me. I quickly pulled off my sweater to shiver in my tanktop as I kicked off my shoes and stripped off my socks when the moon hit the side of my face, making me freeze artfully on one foot.

The needles dug deeply into my skin, the coldness making goosebumps break over my arms and my pupils contract in shock, my breath freezing in my throat with a quiet gasp. The cold raced to my brain, but instead of suddenly vanishing within myself, the cold rebounded, leaving a ringing in my ears, and with a pop, my clothes shredded and I was suddenly in a little heap, and the world was the intense shades of colors I was used to only vaguely remembering. I looked up to see the cottage, and the people inside. Fleur had buried her head into Bill's shoulder, Bill looked frozen, literally petrified, Ron looked sick and Draco had both hands pressed to the glass, his expression indescribable. His eyes were burning into my wolf form as I stood up silently, and padded lightly to the window. I couldn't help but feel a huge happiness welling inside me. I was free! I could think, I could make rational decisions…

Bill put an arm around Fleur and shrank away slightly from the window as I stopped in front of it and tilted my head to the side as Draco leaned closer, if possible. I could sort of see my reflection in the mirror, and I could see a large, graceful and imposing wolf with a long blond coat. Lupin yipped, making me break eye contact with Draco to look at him. If I thought I was big, Lupin was huge. He was a good two feet taller than me, just like in real life, and his coat was shorter, with the slight graying patches I remembered from when I attacked him. I padded over to him and felt my muzzle cracking into a wolfy grin. Then I leaned back and howled to the moon. "Draco, what are you doing?" Bill shouted, and I turned. Draco was standing in the doorway, bracing himself on the doorframe, looking pale, watching me. Then he took a deep breath and walked over.