Author's note: This was one of the hardest chapters to write due to all of the emotions present, so hope all the effort paid off!

Chapter 25

(a year ago)

Emma Swan had always been a deep sleeper. It was one of her talents, being able to sleep through just about anything, from crashing thunder to loud traffic to violent fights. It had come in very handy in prison, sleeping through the screams of the other inmates night and sleeping through Neal's loud as fuck snores.

She supposed it came from years of sharing bedrooms with multiple kids. Some snored louder than a freight train, while others had the scary tendency to talk in their way, the second Emma hit the pillow and closed her eyes she was out till morning. Nothing could shake her awake until her alarm went off.

That is, until Ava came along.

No matter how tired she was, the second Ava started to cry at night Emma's eyes would fly open. This always happened regardless of how soft or loud Ava's cries were.

So tonight was no exception. It wasn't the crash and boom of the thunder that practically shook the apartment that had woken her up. Nope, it was the cries of her baby daughter. Rolling her eyes at Hook, who slept soundly, she pushed her feet into her slippers and shuffled down the hall.

"Hey." She said softly, cracking open the door to find Ava sitting up in her crib. "Can't sleep?"

One look at her mother and her soft whimpers turned into loud cries.

"Come here." Emma reached out and took Ava into her arms. "Scared of the storm, huh? I know the feeling."

Ava blinked up at her, her blue eyes wet with tears as she cried.

Emma stared at her daughter's eyes, still amazed at how beautiful they were. Still amazed at how beautiful Ava was in general. She backed up until she was sitting in the rocking chair they'd placed in the corner of the room. "Shh." She said soothingly. "I know it sounds scary, but there's really nothing to be afraid of, Princess."

Yeah. Princess. The use of pet names in general was something she'd never thought she do, especially since every time her parents called her "sweetie" or "kiddo" or something equally annoying it only served to piss her off. But Ava was so precious and so beautiful that princess just seemed to suit her.

She reached over to the crib to grab Ava's baby blanket, wrapping her daughter up in it and holding her closer to her chest. "It sounds like it's super close, but it's actually far away. So you're totally safe." She whispered, rubbing gentle circles across Ava's back.

Just then, a particularly loud clap of thunder sounded, causing Ava's screams to intensify.

"Shhh. It's alright. Mommy's got you." Emma felt Ava's fingers tighten around a strand of her hair as her eyes grew wide with fright.

"The storm will be over soon. Trust me, I know. I've been through enough of them. Just relax and think of something happy."

Slowly, Ava's sobs subsided and she began to quiet, leaning her head against Emma's shoulder as she started to relax.

"See? Told ya you're safe." Emma said as the thunderclaps grew quieter and quieter. "The storm's over now." One look at her daughter and Emma knew that Ava was fast asleep. Her heart filled as she noticed how close Ava had snuggled against her. She almost didn't want to let go of Ava, having the urge to just sit in the rocking chair and hold her daughter until morning. But then she yawned hugely and looked at the clock. Almost 4 am. She'd have to be at the station in a couple hours.

Slowly, Emma stood up and walked over to the crib, where she gently placed the toddler back inside. "Good night." She bent over and tenderly pressed a kiss against the little girl's forehead before tucking Cinnamon in beside her and tiptoeing out of the room.

Emma's eyes flew open. She looked around the dark room, confused. What was she doing awake in the middle of the night? She could sleep through anything. Literally, anything. In prison she'd been given the nickname Rip Van Winkle, for she had been the only one able to sleep through the night.

So that begged the question: why in the hell was she awake?

And then she heard it. A soft, mewling sound coming from down the hall. Ava. It had to be Ava. She looked over at Killian, who was fast asleep next to her.

"Hey." She whispered into the dark room. "I think Ava's crying."

But Killian only groaned in response and rolled over, taking half the blanket with him.

"Killian." She said a little louder. "Wake up."

He remained asleep. Emma rolled her eyes; she supposed he was a little tired out from their, um, activities earlier. Except what was she to do? His daughter was crying, probably waking up from a nightmare, and she'd surely need her father to comfort her. Emma couldn't just leave Ava to cry all night (though that was what her foster parents had done) but Killian was practically comatose.

So that only left one option.

"Hey." She whispered, pushing open the door to the spare room. Just as she expected, boxes and suitcases were still strewn about everywhere, cluttering up the small room. "Is everything ok?"

Ava was sitting up in bed, her bear clutched in one arm and her baby blanket wrapped around her tiny body, her eyes rimmed red and teary as she cried.

"Are you ok?"

The cries suddenly intensified, causing Emma's breath to hitch in the back of her throat. For some reason the little girl's cries seemed to hit her right in the chest. She had the overwhelming urge to comfort her.

She walked further into the room. "Did you have a nightmare?"

Ava was crying so hard she couldn't even answer, just nodded.

Emma sat down on the edge of the bed. "Hey, it's ok." She said, her voice sounding so soothing and, well, maternal that it surprised her. Since when had she been good with kids? "It was just a dream."

Ava shook her head. "No." Her voice cracked as she rubbed at her eyes. "Nooooo."

"Yes." Emma said. "It's not real. Whatever it was, it wasn't real."

"Yes, it was." Ava insisted.

"Trust me, Av. As someone who has had plenty, and I mean plenty, of experience with nightmares, whatever you dreamed about wasn't real." Emma responded. Though, of course, that wasn't quite true. As a kid one of her recurring nightmares featured a soothing woman's voice, a pair of arms holding her until they were ripped away, and the clang of something that sounded like swords. She supposed it was her subconscious's way of reliving being abandoned by her parents. Added with strange elements from all the fairy tales she'd read.

"But it was."

"No, princess. It wasn't." Emma blinked. Where had "princess" come from? "When I was little I used to dream about monsters chasing me all the time. But once I realized they weren't real they didn't scare me anymore."

Ava blinked up at her with her tear filled blue eyes. "But I didn't dream about monsters."

"Ok. Well what was it? C'mon. Talking about it will help you feel better."

"Ok." Ava looked down at her bear, holding it close. "I dreamed about Mommy."

Emma froze. She didn't even know this woman, the bitch who'd abandoned her daughter, but already hated her. "Really? What happened?"

Ava looked down. "Mommy left."

Oh. So Ava's dream wasn't just a nightmare, but a memory of her mother abandoning her. Ouch. No wonder the poor kid woke up crying. "She did?"

Ava nodded. "Uh huh. In my dream Mommy packed her stuff and said she had to go." She began to cry again. "She doesn't want me."

Emma's heart broke as she watched Ava sob. It was looking into a mirror and seeing her younger self. Suddenly, she found herself reaching out and wrapping the little girl into a tight hug; Ava reciprocated by wrapping her small arms around Emma's neck.

"Shh. Ava, it's ok." She whispered. "Listen to me." She held the girl at arm's length and looked into her eyes. "You still have your daddy who loves you very, very much. And you have me."

Ava pulled away and looked at her. "I do?"

"Yes, you do. And I'm not going anywhere, ok? Never."

"Promise?"

"I promise." Emma said firmly. "And Ava, your mother doesn't deserve you. You're the most beautiful, sweetest, lovable girl I've ever known. You make everyone around you light up." Emma's voice took on a hard edge. "You don't need her. You're better off without her." For a second she didn't know whether she was talking about her own parents or Ava's sorry excuse of a mother.

Suddenly, Emma literally saw red. How could this woman just so callously abandon her beautiful daughter like that? If Emma had a daughter like Ava she'd hold on tight.

Never leave her behind.

Slowly, Ava's sobs quieted as Emma held her close, rubbing soothing circles across her back. She could feel the little girl begin to relax.

"You ok to go back to sleep now?" Emma asked.

Ava nodded sleepily. "Think so."

"Ok." Emma tucked the covers under Ava's chin, being sure to slip her bear in next to her. "That good?"

"Mmhm." Ava murmured.

"Good night." Emma whispered, pressing a kiss to the girl's forehead.

"Good night, Emma." Ava replied as she turned over. "I love you."

What? Her eyes filled with tears; the simple statement made her so unexplainably happy but sad all the same. Instead of her mother tucking her in and soothing her nightmares, it was a stranger. A stranger who was maybe, sorta kinda dating her father, but a stranger nonetheless.

Emma only hesitated briefly before saying the next part. "I love you too, Ava." Emma responded before leaving the room.

"Great job." Came a voice from behind.

She jumped. "Jesus!" Emma's hand leapt to her chest as she turned around to find Killian sitting outside in the hallway. "What the hell? Have you been sitting here the entire time?"

He shrugged. "Maybe."

"So you heard everything?"

He nodded.

"Well why didn't you come in then? Ava really could've used her father."

"Nah. You looked like you had it under control."

She leveled him with a stare that would've sent most men running. "Really?"

He looked up at her, that familiar lazy smirk already forming. "Really."

"Excuse me. Do I amuse? Your daughter was just in there, crying her eyes out, and you didn't even go in? Are you insane or just that heartless?"

"She needed you."

"What does that even mean?"

"I mean." Killian started. "She needed you. A mother figure. And look at the wondrous job you just did. Sound asleep yet again. Job well done."

"You sound awfully chipper for a guy who's daughter was just sobbing after a nightmare about being abandoned." And then she realized. "This nightmare happens often, doesn't it?"

He nodded, sadness creeping over his features. Suddenly, he appeared to be ten years older. "Aye. That it does."

Emma sank down onto the carpeted floor next to him. "I'm sorry." She weirdly felt more than just sorry for Ava and Killian, but bone crushingly guilty.

For some reason he was averting her gaze. "For what? You did nothing. I should be thanking you for soothing my daughter's nightmare. You did so much faster than I ever did."

"That's because I went through the same thing." Emma said hollowly. "My parents abandoned me too."

Somehow he didn't seem surprised. "I know. You and Ava have that look, the look when you've been abandoned. Yet another thing you two share."

"What happened?" Emma asked. "With her mother?"

"Exactly what Ava told you. She left."

"She just decided to pick up and leave?"

"Right."

Emma frowned; something was off. She could tell Killian was telling the truth, but not the whole truth. But she wasn't about to push what was obviously a sore subject.

"Well, Ava's better off without her." Emma said firmly.

"And you're so certain of this?"

"Yeah, I am. If her mother was so stupid and careless as to just leave her daughter like that clearly she doesn't deserve her. You and Ava both are better off without her."

"Well what if she had a good reason for leaving?"

"You're obviously still too hung up over her to see the truth."

"I'm serious." He said. "What if Ava's mother had a good reason to leave? Would that make her so stupid and careless then?" He mocked her tone. "She's a good person. I know it."

"Oh, no." Emma shook her head violently. "Nuh uh. Nooo way. There's no freaking way in hell a decent person just leaves their kid behind. I don't care what kind of lame excuses they have. That the kid will be better off without them? That's total crap."

"You obviously feel pretty strongly about this, don't you Swan?"

"Yeah, I do."

"So what about your son?"

She froze. How had he known about that? She was about to accuse him of being a stalker when he immediately jumped in.

"I've seen pictures around your apartment. The resemblance was uncanny. And since he doesn't live here with you I believe it's safe to assume that you abandoned him too?"

"No." Emma shook her head. "I...not exactly. I was eighteen, in prison when he was born. I gave him up to give him his best chance. I mean, what kind of life could I have given him? Not a very good one, that's for sure."

"And you're sure that you gave him his best chance."

"Yeah. It's a long story, but in the end he does have a mother who loves him in her own weird ways. So yeah. I'm not exactly proud and happy that I had to give him up but at least I did it for his own good. And that's more than Ava's mother can say."

In Emma's mind, she conjured up a faceless blonde woman. At least, she assumed the woman was blonde. She actually had no idea what the lady looked like, but since Ava was she figured her mother would be too. Just the very image, the very idea of the bitch that left her daughter behind to suffer was enough to make Emma want to kill something.

Author's note: Oh, the irony.

Just to clarify, Ava was NOT having a flashback about Emma leaving, since she never technically saw Emma leave. It just happened and she was told about it afterwards. This was just a nightmare.