Chapter Twenty-Five:

"Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs."

- Romeo and Juliet.

"Oh. My. Stars," said Minerva deliberately as she backed towards the bed. She let herself fall onto her back, stared up to the ceiling, and repeated herself. "Oh. My. Stars."

"What strong language, Miss McGonagall," Albus teased, but his blue eyes were void of their usual twinkle.

"That is not how I wanted her to find out about us," Minerva said. She closed her eyes.

"I didn't know that we ever intended for her to find out, no matter how it should happen."

Minerva shook her head, causing a couple of strands of dark hair to fall from her uncharacteristically messy braid. "Of course she was going to find out eventually. I was just hoping… I rather thought… I really wish it had gone just a little better."

He chuckled and eased himself beside her on the bed. "Just a little?"

"I can't believe she let me stay, though."

He smiled in spite of the gravity of the situation. "You are an adult now."

"Still! I can't believe that she didn't drag me out of here by the end of my braid."

Albus' eyes narrowed. "Does she often drag you around by the end of your braid, Minerva?"

"Well, not so much now, because I'm older. But when I was a child, yes, sometimes she did. It doesn't really hurt though. Not like being dragged around by my ear. That hurt."

He nodded. "And the spell she uses to silence you, it's 'Vox Corripius,' is it not?"

"It is."

"That's a powerful curse, Minerva. Not one that we teach at Hogwarts. It's Dark Magic."

"I know, Albus. Believe me. One of my primary goals upon attending Hogwarts was figuring out how to block or cancel that particular spell. When I had to look in the Restricted Section to find it, I realized what it was. I don't know where my mother learned it though, or why. I've always assumed it safer not to ask."

"Dark wizards use it on their enemies so that they can torture them without worrying that anyone will hear them scream. Historically, it has most often been used by men who, uh…" For a moment he seemed to be at a loss for words. He cleared his throat before continuing. "Men who take women by force. It is especially dangerous because only the person who performed it can cancel it. If someone were torturing you, and you performed that spell on him, he wouldn't be able to hurt you anymore, unless he used wordless magic. But if someone used it on you, and he were to, say, be killed while doing so, you would never speak again. The curse could never be lifted. Most spells and enchantments lift when the person who placed them has died. Nearly all, actually. If you stun someone, then no, it doesn't lift upon the caster's death, but anyone can undo it. If you freeze someone in his or her place, however, that person would be able to move as soon as your heart stops beating, understand?"

"Yes," Minerva rolled over to look at him. "But Albus, why are you telling me all of this?"

"Two reasons. One, I want you to realize how wrong it is that your mother uses that spell on you. That's not parenting. I mean no disrespect to your mother, Minerva, honestly, but it must be said. I have known her for many years, and know that she is genuinely a decent person, though she has always been a little on the severe side. But, in this instance, she is very, very wrong."

"And two?"

"Should you ever meet Mr. Riddle again, and should he ever attempt to bother you again, it may not be a terrible idea to use that particular curse on him. I'm sure he's working on wordless magic, but I very much doubt he's mastered it yet. If you do not know how to perform it, I can teach you. Just between us, of course. As I said, it is very Dark Magic."

"Thank you, Professor, but I do not intend to meet up with Tom Riddle ever again."

"Minerva," Albus began. He sighed. "Minerva, we need to talk."

She returned to lying on her back. "That sounds foreboding."

"It is." He sat up and leaned over her. "Look at me, please." He guided her to a seated position across from him on the bed. She could see worry in his eyes, and something more… trepidation, perhaps? Resignation? Something she had never seen. It made her very uncomfortable.

"What is it? Just tell me. What? You're angry because my mother found out about us, is that it?"

"I wanted to talk to you about this before she popped in."

Though Minerva had no way of knowing what he was going to say, she could feel the atmosphere in the room had changed. Her eyes began to tear up but she was determined not to cry, no matter what he decided to say.

"We can't keep on like this."

"Excuse me?" she asked, her voice cracking just a bit.

He averted his eyes, no longer able to look at her and see the love, adoration, and the pain staring back at him.

"It was not fair of me to enter in to this with you, without giving you all of the necessary information."

Her lips drew themselves into a thin line. She stared at him intently for a few moments before responding. "Such as?"

"We cannot… You need to understand why… but we cannot go on. We cannot go any further than we have already… We shall have to…"

"Just tell me, damn it," she snapped, and he raised an eyebrow in response. She was not going to make this easy for him. And why should she?

"It has been a long time since I entered into any sort of even remotely significant relationship with any woman, Minerva. And prior to that, I did not have the best track record. I may have even had a bit of a… reputation."

"Because of Madam Pomfrey?"

"Because of her. And others. I couldn't settle down, even though that it what everyone expected of me. That's part of what drew me to you, Minerva. Your whole life you've heard your mother and sisters telling you what your future should bring, but you are determined to go in another direction. You are headstrong, independent, and eager to experience the world. As was I, at your age. I had big goals and even bigger dreams. I wanted so much out of life, Minerva, and while falling in love always appealed to me, settling down did not."

"I'm not asking you to set-"

"Please, let me continue."

Despite her secret personal promise not to cry, she felt a tear making its way down her cheek. She did not bother to wipe it away. "Very well."

"Then, there came a time when I found someone I cared about very much, a Muggle Studies professor. She and I spent a lot of time together, travelling, attending various functions, and generally just enjoying life. I was never in love with her, Minerva, though maybe it would have turned into that someday, had we gotten the chance…" He coughed as if suddenly uncomfortable with the conversation.

"And what?" Minerva asked bitterly. "She left you? Took off? Met someone new? Broke your heart?"

"She died. She was murdered."

Minerva gasped and looked up again to meet his eyes. "No! Why?"

"Grindelwald was rising to power. He came to me, to ask… I should interject into my own story, Minerva, to mention that Gellert Grindelwald and I were friends for a time, long ago, when we were about your age. The, uh, friendship, it did not end on good terms. But that is a tale for another time. The point is, he had seen pictures of us in the Daily Profit, pictures of her on my arm, and…" Albus paused and breathed in and out very slowly several times before he was able to continue. "It was during the summer holiday. I was staying at my family's home in Godric Hallow, where we had first met. Gellert Grindelwald came to me, to ask one last time if I would join forces with him, as we had spoken about as boys so many years before. I refused, of course, with a few choice words I later regretted because I truly believe that it was my words that pushed him to do what he did. The following evening, I received an owl from a ministry official. My Muggle Studies professor was dead. She had been tortured for several hours before a Killing Curse finally put her out of her misery. 90 minutes later I received a second owl, from my old friend Gellert. 'You let this pathetic slag turn you into a Muggle loving old fool?' he had written. That was all. One line. He signed it with what later became known as his famous mark, his dark insignia. Enclosed was a picture of her, lying on the ground in her flat in London, struggling to hold closed a gash in her neck. Her robes had been shredded, and I later received confirmation from the Ministry that he had… he had violated her. She had suffered, terribly, because of me. She and I, we were hardly more than friends. Friends who enjoyed going to parties and dancing together and the occasional bite to eat at nice restaurants. She died because of that friendship, Minerva. And I haven't seen anyone since, not even casually. Not until you."

"That's awful, Albus. It's so, so tragic," Minerva was openly crying, but she did not care. She moved towards him a little, hoping that he would take her in his arms and reassure her that everything would be alright, but he did not move, he would not touch her.

"It's terrifying, Minerva, that I could cause such pain, and you have already been through so much, I couldn't bare it if anything more happened to you, Minerva. You're so young, so promising, you have so much life ahead of you, so much time."

"But Grindelwald is gone, now, Albus. We are safe."

"We will never truly be safe, Minerva. I will always have enemies. Already you have suffered because of me. What Tom did to you in that forest-"

"No!" she cut him off. "What he did in that forest was about me, Albus, not you. And if it weren't for your intervention, need I remind you, I wouldn't be here today!"

"It's just not safe, Minerva." He looked away with the hope that she would not notice the tears in his eyes. "It's just not safe."

"Tom Riddle is afraid of you, Albus. He won't bother me again."

"Don't be so certain, Minerva." With that, Albus pulled a letter from his pocket. He handed the parchment to Minerva, whose face went white as she read it aloud.

Dumbledore -

She will not be yours forever, remember that.

And I do not like to lose what is mine.

Especially not to 'a muggle loving old fool.'

You cannot be everywhere all the time, old man.

- Lord Voldemort

"Albus, when…?"

"This afternoon. I don't know how he found out about the letter, but he must have. He used the exact same wording, see, Minerva? It's a threat, and not exactly a thinly veiled one. He is a sick and dangerous young man. And the closer you are to me, the more likely you are to end up suffering. He knows very little about us, and that is absolutely too much."

"What are you saying, Albus?"

"You deserve so much more than me, Minerva. So much more than a secret lover who's more almost three times your age."

"You don't want me anymore?" she asked. He chuckled bitterly in response.

"Want you? Of course I want you."

"Then you do not love me?"

"Minerva!" he reached out to take her hand. "You must believe that I love you. That is why I'm telling you this. That is why this has to end. Of course I love you. I love you so much it frightens me."

Slowly she rubbed small, soothing circles on the back of his hand with her thumb. She shifted closer to him again.

"Then what's the problem, Albus?"

"He could hurt you."

Her green eyes flashed with anger. "He has hurt me already! He hurt me long before you and I had ever shared our first kiss that night in the hallway. He will hurt me again if he gets the chance, whether you and I are involved with each other or not! At least if we are together, Albus, you can protect me. You can teach me to protect myself!"

"There's more to it than that, Minerva."

"Really? And what else is there, oh Noble One?"

He ignored her sarcasm and replied sadly, "I can never marry you, Minerva. We can never make a home together. No one can ever know how I feel about you. You can never have my child."

"I can never have any child, Albus."

Confused, he met her gaze, and felt her grip on his hand get just a little tighter.

"What do you mean, Minerva?"

"Madam Pomfrey told me, after our first night together, that it was unlikely I could ever conceive again, but at the time she couldn't be certain. Last week, one morning when you were teaching, Poppy and I snuck out of the castle-"

"Poppy snuck out during class hours? That's less shocking than it should be."

"And we took an illegal portkey to St. Mungo's. They ran some tests. I can't conceive, Albus, not ever. We made it back to Hogwarts before lunch, and no one even suspected we had been missing."

"Sneaking out of the castle is very dangerous, Minerva," Albus began to chastise her, before reminding himself that, though his lover was still technically his student, she was no longer a Hogwarts student. "Poppy could have been expelled."

"I'm sorry."

He nodded, and finally moved to position himself closer to her. "I'm sorry that you cannot bare children, my Minerva," he said quietly.

"It's alright. Maybe someday I'll return to Hogwarts as a teacher. Then, in a sense, I can have hundreds of children."

"You are incredibly mature for you age," he said, still speaking very quietly. "Has anyone ever told you that?"

"You might have said something to that effect… once or twice." Their foreheads were touching.

"I do love you, Minerva. If anything were to happen to you…" He slid his arms around her waist.

"Nothing will happen to me, as long as I'm near you." She ran her hands up his chest.

"We have to keep it a secret. The threat is still very real." He pulled her closer.

"I'd rather be with you in secret than anyone else in public, Albus." She kissed his temple.

"To be honest, I'd rather be with you in secret than anyone else, in any form." He kissed her forehead.

With a small smile, she cupped his cheek and leaned forward.

"I love you, Albus Dumbledore," she said.

He moved even closer, until their lips were nearly touching. She could feel his breath on her mouth when he whispered back, "And I love you, Minerva McGonagall."