Coming up next: Fordia. Lots of it. Enjoy.

And, just a little note: Ford's been in the portal for a few years at this point.

Chapter Twenty-Four: Friend or Foe

It wasn't the first time Stanford Pines had an episode, and sadly, it probably wouldn't be the last. He sighed and stared up at the starry sky, speckles of every color of the rainbow decorating the otherwise pitch-black night. He absentmindedly rubbed the bark of the tree he was standing next to - smoother, but with more holes than the trees of his own dimension - and sighed. He hadn't been able to sleep that night, so he'd decided to investigate the creatures in the area. A hot pink creature that looked like a cross between a chicken and an ostrich was the first thing he found. Unfortunately, it had flown away before he could find out anything about it. Well, other than the fact that it flew using its many tongues.

Ford sighed, the afternoon's events strangling his conscience.

"Go on! Throw it! It won't hurt me at all!" Starclops boasted.

Ford turned the stone over in his hands, considering. He didn't want to hurt her, but he wanted to know whether or not she was exaggerating.

Nadia voiced his concerns with a disapproving shake of her head. "This is a bad idea."

"Actually, Star's right," Tad commented. "There aren't a lot of things that can injure a dream demon."

Starclops punched him playfully. "Yeah! What Detective Douche said!"

"Detective Douche?" Ford muttered in confusion.

Echo, who had been sitting on Nadia's head, rolled her eyes. "Well, Starclops talks so much that I've been wanting throw something at her, so…" She threw the a small rock, and-

"Ah! My eye!" Starclops's eye snapped shut, and she rubbed it frantically. "That's on me for not covering it."

Echo raised her arms happily. "No regrets!"

Tad pinched between his eyes and groaned. "No offense, Echo, but I liked you better before you talked." The sound of a branch cracking came from nearby. "What was that?"

Ford instinctively whipped out his gun and pointed in the direction of the sound.

"What are you doing up?"

The familiar voice broke him from his thoughts. Nadia walked up beside him. She took his hand in hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. He didn't know why she was awake; he was just grateful for her touch, no matter how small the gesture.

Ford shrugged. "Insomnia. You?"

"Same, I guess," the mutant replied. She rubbed the back of her head. "I think my head's still a little messed up from Bill."

Ford sighed, wishing that his lover didn't have to deal with the after-effects of the Nightmare Labyrinth. "Yeah. That's probable." He wanted to tell her that it would wear off, but he wasn't entirely sure how that particular spelled worked. Hell, he still had insomnia, and Bill hadn't messed with his mind in… How long had it been?

Come to think of it, how long had he been away from Earth? Ford had never really taken the time to think about it, but he'd been gone for a pretty long time, hadn't he? Different dimensions have different time zones. He could have been gone for a few hours, weeks, months...years, even. How much time had passed on Earth? How old was he? Were his parents still around? What about Shermie and Stanley? Was Fiddleford's memory getting better or worse?

"Stanford." Nadia's tone was that of someone who had been saying the same thing for a while.

Ford frowned apologetically. "I-I'm sorry. What were you saying?"

Nadia let go of his hand and stepped in front of him. "Still thinking about that guy?"

Ford bit his lip and looked away.

The...thing looked like a blue tiger with mint-green eyes and a purple cobra (which appeared to be alive) for a tail. It's dark denim jacket and leather pants made it look like a 50s gang stereotype. It jumped out of the bushes and landed on its hindlegs. It whipped out a strange-looking knife-like weapon. The blade was curved and pale blue in color with intricate designs carved into it.

"Trnnv blfi ylmvh!" It shouted, brandishing the knife crazily. "R dzmg blfi ylmvh!"

They all jumped back in surprise, especially Tad and Starclops, the former exclaiming, "Crap! He's got a Demon's Dagger!"

"A what?" Ford asked, not entirely certain that he wanted to know.

Starclops answered, "In a nutshell, it's one of the few things that can kill a dream demon!"

Ford didn't remember what happened after the creature had nicked Tad's corner. All he knew was that, when he came to, the creature was a bloody heap on the ground. And, Ford had been holding its dagger.

Ford involuntarily shuddered at the memory. What was wrong with him? He'd been having memory lapses since childhood, but he'd never actually killed anyone before. Not to mention that his blackouts seemed to be getting more frequent.

Nadia's kind voice broke through his anxious thought process. "Ford, I know you didn't mean to kill him. You were trying to help, and you did. Yeah, it kinda got out of hand, but you still saved us." Suddenly, her smile seemed forced. "At least, that accident was helpful."

Ford's heart went out to her. He knew that she was thinking about her parents. "Nadia, I know what you're thinking, and that wasn't your fault. Well-Well, okay, it was, but it wasn't. I mean-"

"Stanford?" She still wasn't looking at him.

When she didn't say anything else, he replied, "Yes, Nadia?"

"Do you, um...think that I…" She balled her fists at her sides and spoke through a constricted throat. "Am I a monster, Ford?"

Monster. That word split Ford's heart in half. Did she honestly believe…? Then again, maybe everyone else believed it. Ford recalled hearing a few things that had either aggravated him, confused him, or both:

"We're usually the misfits with no friends besides each other…"

"Mutant is good as animal. Mutant no good to people. Mutant do terrible things."

"What was the first dimension that the mutants ravaged during the Mutant War?"

Perhaps it wasn't her that was disliked. Maybe people hated mutants in general for some reason. But, that didn't make Nadia right. Ford cupped her cheek, subconsciously caressing her scar with his thumb, and tilted her head so that she was looking at him. "Nadia Blackburne, I've met a lot of monsters in my day. So, let me assure you; you are not one of them. You are an amazing woman, and it completely baffles me that you would ever think otherwise." Nadia just stared blankly at him. She got that look sometimes, and he still wasn't quite sure what it meant. "Uh, don't take this the wrong way, Nadia, but why do you always...stare at me when I compliment you?"

Nadia shrugged shyly. "Guess I'm still getting used to you caring the way you do."

The tug in Ford's chest strengthened, and he kissed her. Gently at first, then more fiercely, needing to remind her that she was loved. Nadia gladly returned his passion, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling herself closer. Ford wrapped one arm around her waist and tangled his other hand in her hair. The smell and taste of her was awakening a primal instinct between his legs, but he forced it back, unsure if she was ready.

Then, she shifted to remove his trench coat, and he knew that she wanted him as much as he wanted her.

The stranger appeared out of nowhere. Although Starclops and Tad were already awake, Echo wasn't. Starclops had to send a tiny lightning bolt down the hole the snark had dug, which of course left her irritated and slightly charred. Honestly, Starclops didn't know what she was so mad about. It's not like it she was trying to kill the little creature; the demoness wasn't heartless. Fortunately, Echo seemed to forget about the - literal - mild shock, when she spotted the new person.

He looked human-enough, aside from his bright red eyes and pastel yellow skin. Holding a cane and dressed in a navy blue suit with matching dress pants and top hat and black dress shoes, he did not look like someone taking a moonlit trek through the woods.

He leaned on his cane and tipped his hat in greeting. He spoke with a slight lisp. "Salutations, folks. My name is Jemmery."

The others exchanged looks, and Tad coughed and said, "Um... Hey?"

Jemmery didn't seem to notice their confusion. "I was taking a stroll earlier, and I saw your six-fingered friend kill that cat-creature."

Echo crossed her small arms and glared up at him. "So what? He was protecting us. You got a problem with that?"

Jemmery chuckled and pointed at the small creature. "I like you. You've got moxie." Echo indignantly stuck out her tongue. "Now, as I was saying, I saw what happened. A Protector, eh? I haven't seen one of those in a long, long time."

"Protector?" Echo asked.

Starclops scratched her top point and said thoughtfully, "I had my suspicions."

"Me too," Tad agreed. "But, one incident doesn't make him a Protector."

"Didn't you see his eyes, though? They were, like, glowing."

Echo jumped up and down and waved her arms, trying to get their attention and wishing she were taller. "Hello? Confused snark, over here!"

Jemmery gazed at them in curiosity. "You didn't know your friend was a Protector?"

"How do you know if he is?" Starclops scoffed.

"Simple. My grandmother was one. Plus, I saw his little transformation. You know, the glowing eyes, the sudden sprouting of fangs."

"So, you know about this 'Protector' thing?" Echo asked, still not really sure what any of them were talking about.

Jemmery nodded. "Absolutely. And, I'll gladly explain." He looked around. "Now, where is that fellow, anyway?"

The demons shrugged, but Echo proudly puffed out her chest. "I'll find him. And, Nadia, too. We snarks have an awesome sense of smell." With that, she scurried off to find them.

Jemmery tossed his cane in the air and caught it (apparently, he didn't actually need it). "Welp, if your friend decides that he wants some information," he pointed to a cabin in the distance, "My house is right over there. A bit of a trek, but I think it'll be worth the effort for the information I can provide."

Starclops waved off the offer. "Thanks, but we know plenty of things."

"Uh, Starclops," Tad said, "we don't exactly know that much about Protectors. They are pretty rare, after all."

Unfortunately, he had a point. "Oo-kay, Jemmery. We'll meet you at your place, I guess."

Jemmery grinned. "Fantastic! I know a lot about a lot of things. From Protectors, to alchemy, to wieners-"

"Wait," Starclops interrupted, suddenly interested. "You know about alchemy?"

"Indubitably."

Tad looked curiously at her. "Why the sudden interest, Star?"

Starclops wasn't listening. This guy knew about alchemy. Maybe… Just maybe…

Echo scurried back to their side, embarrassment clouding her face. "Uh, Ford and Nadia… They're-They're kinda busy. They'll probably be occupied for the rest of the night.

Jemmery clicked his tongue. "That's a shame. Well then, why don't you guys come by in the morning? We'll talk then."

They all agreed, and Jemmery left. When he was gone, Tad asked, "So, what exactly are those two doing?"

Echo awkwardly shook out her pelt. "Uh… That's...not...something I should, you know, discuss…"

Starclops gasped dramatically, and her burnt-orange color lightened to a tangerine-color in excitement. "They're doing the deed! Holy shit, they're doing the deed!"

Tad groaned. "Honestly, you are the single most immature being I've ever met."

"Doing the deed! Doing the deed!"

"Seriously, you're making this weirder than it needs to be."

Echo sighed, wishing she'd never said anything. Actually, she was just glad she left before they could really get anything going. "Just don't mention it to them, when they come back, okay?"

Starclops was too busy chanting to pay any attention. "Doing the deed! Doing the deed!"

ZMW MLD, GSV DVZGSVI IVKLIG: KZIGOB XOLFWB, GDVMGB KVIXVMG XSZMXV LU DRVMVIH.

Oh, Starclops...

Hey, anyone who can tell me where the term "Detective Douche" came from gets a virtual cookie!

REVIEW EVERYONE!

Aaaaaaaaannnnddd, Bill's back.

ASK ME ANYTHING! I KNOW LOTS OF THINGS! LOTS OF THINGS...