It was difficult to properly fasten his tie with shaking hands. Being unsteady was not something Hannibal was accustomed to, and it both unnerved him and served to further his adrenaline. He was quite certain it was not healthy for an average human being to have an elevated heart rate for this long, to be shaky and experience sweaty palms, dilated pupils. He would not to admit to himself that he was afraid. Today was not a day that he could allow himself any semblance of weakness or hesitation, for if he did, he would bear it as a regret for the remainder of his life. Hannibal wanted nothing but happiness associated with this day when, in the future, he reflected back upon it, and he refused to taint it with the admission of fear or insecurity.
"Let me." The soft, feminine voice spoke from behind his left shoulder. Dr. Lecter turned and managed a weak smile at the sight of Lady Murasaki, her long dark hair flowing behind her shoulders and adorned with a single lily. She stepped in front of him, slender fingers quickly undoing the uneven and crooked mess of his tie, deftly tying it back up and tightening it around his starch white collar.
"Thank you. You look beautiful." Hannibal nodded his thanks. The older woman smiled and patted his chest, leaning up to press a kiss to her nephew's cheek before stepping back to regard her handiwork.
"And you look very handsome. He'll be pleased to see you," she said gently. Hannibal half laughed, turning for the umpteenth time to regard himself in the mirror, pick nonexistent lint off of his dark suit, and straighten everything that was already immaculate. Lady Murasaki watched him quietly, with a bemused smile barely hidden, seeing the nerves that she had never before witness bother her nephew concealed under the facade of calm. From the moment she had first met Hannibal Lecter, the very first thing that had struck her regarding him was his immeasurable calm. He wore it as a shield, she knew, and it was refreshing to her to watch that shield fall away.
"I certainly hope so," Hannibal said, inhaling deeply and smoothing his hair back. "Though I have no doubt he'll outshine me in every way."
"He should," she said, gently patting Hannibal's arm. "He will shine in your eyes as you will in his. That is how it should be, on a day like today." Hannibal nodded slowly at his aunt's undeniable wisdom, blowing out a long breath before turning away from the mirror to face her.
"Thank you for doing this. Coming here for me."
"What else would I do? Let my only nephew stand alone on his wedding day?" She teased, her heart warmed with the sight of Hannibal's smile. He looked so much younger when he did so, some of his normal solemn features wiped away in youthful happiness. Smiles are the most beautiful on those who wear them rarely.
"Ma, c'mon now. I know how ta dress myself," Ben whined as his mother fussed over his coat, his arms hanging loosely at his sides as he tolerated - just barely - the older woman's panic.
"Carol, leave the boy be. He looks fine."
"Both of you shut up. Benjamin, I can't believe we let you leave the house without learning to tie a tie. My goodness. And Jack, you haven't worn a suit since our wedding day. You hush right up." Carol gently smacked Ben's front as he squirmed, earning a laugh from the corner of the room.
"Poor little cousin, gettin' cleaned right up..." The teasing voice coming from one of Ben's relatives drove the sandy-haired man to duck away from his mother and huck a folded handkerchief towards the laughing head of the young man, grumbling as it ducked and disappeared from the doorway.
"Jackass." Ben growled, turning back to let his mother finish her work.
"Ben, language." She chided, tightening the knot before picking lint off of Ben's shoulder, her weathered hands finally stilling only to clasp together. "Oh Ben...you look so handsome."
"Thanks, Ma." He grinned slightly, watching as his father stepped up to stand beside his mother. Carol's eyes filled with tears as she saw Ben smile, clasping her hands together in front of her face and taking a deep breath.
"My goodness, seems only yesterday you were just my baby boy..." She started, tears trailing down her cheeks.
"Carol, honey..."
"Ma..."
Both men started it at once, before Carol flung herself forward to grab Ben in a bear hug so tight ribs began to complain, sniffling against his shirtfront as he hugged her back gently.
"Oh, ma...hey now. Nothin' ta cry about..." Ben started, glancing over his mother's shoulder towards Jack, a silent cry for help written on his face. His father shrugged a shoulder and stood back, letting Ben deal with the crying woman on his own.
"Hey, you're wreckin' my shirt." Ben joked halfheartedly, patting his mother on the back. Carol pulled back, her eyes puffy and red, sniffling once more as she saw the damp patch on Ben's suit.
"Oh my goodness, Ben. You need to change."
"Ma. I was kiddin'!" Ben said exasperatedly, earning a laugh from Jack. "No time ta change...I think I hear the music startin'," Ben said, swallowing hard. His heart had been pumping since the minute he'd climbed into this monkey suit, and he hadn't even seen Hannibal since last night. This was it...
Watching their son begin to panic in the little tent, Jack and Carol both smiled, his arm around her waist.
"Did pretty good, doncha think?" Jack said softly in her ear. His wife's smile widened, pattin her husband's side.
"Yes...we certainly did."
The wedding was small, as both Hannibal and Ben had wanted it to be. The majority of the less than twenty chairs gathered before the altar were filled by Ben's family, people his mother had insisted attend the ceremony. Lady Murasaki was the only representative of Hannibal's family, and though privately most of Ben's family thought it was quite strange the doctor did not invite more, most incorrectly assumed that perhaps his family had not wanted to attend the marriage of two men. Both Hannibal and Lady Murasaki were well aware of this rumour, both finding it more than a little humourous. Privately, standing up at the altar as the music began to play, Hannibal imagined to himself what his parents, his sister would think of him on this day. Would they have smiled at him, sitting in the front row? Would they be as happy as he was now?
The thoughts that had temporarily consumed him were quickly banished by a sharp whistle of appreciation, laughter as movement began to occur at the end of the aisle. Hannibal's heart began to beat so loudly he was sure, even hidden from view, that Ben could hear it. Peering down the aisle and waiting, his limbs feeling as though they were made of water and no strength whatsoever in his bones, the breath deserted Hannibal with the next look he chanced down the aisle.
With his mother on his left and father flanking his right, Ben took his first step out of the tent with his knees so weak he wasn't sure if he could make the walk. A few short yards seemed like miles, only the support of his parents arms keeping him upright and steady. The first catcall whistle made him grin just slightly, the laughter of his family filling the chairs infectious. Part of him, however small, did not want to look up at the front. Raw emotion was not something that Ben was equipped to deal with, and from the moment he had opened his eyes this morning, it was all that he had gone through. If he was to be honest with himself, he wasn't sure how much more he could take.
He discovered that limit as soon as his eyes landed on the man standing at the altar that looked both awestruck and completely terrified.
Ben blinked, and it seemed to him that when he opened his eyes from that millisecond of darkness, that he had fast forwarded himself to the end of the aisle and his parents were releasing him, Hannibal reaching out to take his hand. Without thinking he took it, and all at once felt rooted in the present again, awakened and aware, and he smiled.
"Hiya, handsome."
Hannibal could not breathe. There was nothing coming, he could not remember how to even fill his lungs with air as Ben stood before him. All he knew how to do was extend his hand, a drowning man to a lifeline, and hope against hope itself that Ben would reach out and take it. The moment the younger man's fingers laced with his, air rushed into Hannibal's chest again, Ben's crooked smile bringing one to Hannibal so brilliant that it would never be replicated again in his life.
"Hi, yourself."
When both of his hands were held tightly in Ben's, Hannibal no longer noticed the crowd around them, or the officiant between them beginning his speech. All he noticed, cared to notice, was the warmth of Ben's hands in his, and the intense blue of the younger man's eyes. Blue as the ocean, deep enough that if Hannibal had to choose his death at this very moment, it would be drowning in the incredible color.
The dull drone of the officiant was just background noise in Ben's ears, only heard between each beat of his heart. Fuck, Hannibal looked good in a suit. Had he ever seen the doctor in a suit before? Maybe, but not like this. Holy hell, no suit in the world could compare to a suit like that. What was he talking about again? Right...he hadn't been talking.
"You look..."
"Not half as good as you." Hannibal breathed his reply, his thumbs gently rubbing the back of Ben's hands. The younger man shook his head with a little grin, and Hannibal murmured before he could speak.
"Benjamin, you are the most beautiful human specimen I have seen in my entire life. And don't you dare argue with me," Hannibal said low, watching Ben's Adam's apple bob as he swallowed.
"Ain't gonna argue. You're just hot when you get all 'don't argue with me'." Ben said, ignoring the sidelong glare he received from the officiant as the two held their murmured conversation.
"You just wait until later," Hannibal growled so softly Ben nearly didn't hear it, heat flushing along his skin beneath his suit and bringing a big smile to his face.
"Mr. Huntington?" the officiant asked, snapping Hannibal out of the daydreams that had consumed him.
"Pardon?" He said on instinct, the crowd laughing. The officiant gave a tolerant little sigh before repeating his question once more.
"Gabriel Huntington...do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Hannibal nearly choked, looking into the blue of Ben's eyes that seemed so unwilling to let his gaze go. How had the ceremony passed so quickly? It couldn't be nearly at the end already, could it? He couldn't remember anything the officiant had said, only the color of Ben's eyes and that crooked little smile that dashed his train of thought to pieces.
"I do." Hannibal smiled as his voice grew stronger. "Yes. Yes, I do."
Ben had been just as surprised as the officiant had questioned Hannibal again as well, lost looking at the doctor and not paying the slightest bit of attention to anything the officiant was saying. Happy that Hannibal had been the one who had missed the first question, Ben waited with a pounding heart as the doctor slowly smiled, the three tiny words he said pulling all strength from Ben's legs. If he hadn't been holding Hannibal's hands, he thought for sure he would have hit the dirt right in front of everybody. Funny maybe years later, not so funny right now.
"And Benjamin Stephens...do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" The officiant asked again, peering over his spectacles towards Ben. The younger man didn't hesitate a moment, a bright beaming grin on his face as his eyes never left the deep maroon of Hannibal's.
"Hell yeah, I do," he said clearly, laughter again from the crowd and a playful roll of the eyes from the doctor. The officiant's voice sounded almost relieved to be approaching the end of his ceremony, snapping the book in his hands shut as he spoke.
"Well then, ladies and gentlemen...by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss-"
Ben couldn't wait a minute longer. At the sound of the word kiss, he was ready to lunge forward, grab that doctor of his, and lay a big one right on his- Two strong hands grabbing hold of the front of his suit beat him to it, Hannibal yanking the younger man into his arms and kissing him with everything he had in him, to the roaring cheers of the crowd.
When they split apart to breathe, neither for a moment letting go of the other, Ben rested his forehead against Hannibal's and grinned so wide his cheeks hurt, his eyes wet and his vision blurred.
"I love you." Hannibal whispered fiercely, arms drawn tight as he could get them around Ben. "Husband of mine..."
"I love you too." Ben laughed through his tears, the sound hitched with a sob. "Fuck, do I love you. Never leave me?"
"Not in a thousand years."