His new placement was going wonderfully. Really, it couldn't be better. Three months of leading his team, complete with a new Probie to teach in his own special way. Hell, he had taught McGee everything he knew. Well. Most of what he knew. About being a field agent. Most of what he knew about being a field agent.

That was it.

They had found their groove relatively quickly, settling into the spaces each agent left behind them as they moved up a rung on the ladder. Tony turning into someone who was more Gibbs than DiNozzo, McGee stepping up and turning into a damn fine agent, Ziva... learning to control herself more than she ever had before, and Lee... well Lee needed a lot of work but she'd get there. If Ziva and McGee could get there, Lee would.

As he stepped off the elevator, bags in hand, to see the team, plus Abby, all in the bullpen he stopped and admired his people for just a moment. Abby was loudly announcing that she was checking his flight information, and then bickering for a moment with both McGee and Lee, before Abby looked up and noticed him.

"Tony! You're home! Oh yay! I missed you! Welcome back!" The woman exclaimed, running at him and throwing her arms around him in a hug. It was familiar and comforting and he lost himself in the sensation of being held for just a moment, wrapping his arms around her trim waist and holding her in place, tucking his head into the crook between her neck and her shoulder and just breathing in the familiar scent.

"I missed you too Abby," He murmured into her skin, causing her to squeeze him tighter. God she was strong for such a small girl. He always would forget.

"Oh did you have fun? Did you go to that cool bar in Düsseldorf?" She pulled back just enough to give him a wink as she asked the question, before burrowing back into his embrace.

"Y'know I tried, but that security conference kept us pretty busy." A lie. He had gone to the bar, and hooked up with a gray haired man who held just enough of a resemblance to Gibbs through the haze of alcohol that he couldn't resist. Even if the man's hands had been too soft, missing callouses from guns and woodworking, and the timbre of his voice had been all wrong. But if he squinted just right, the guy had looked enough like the man he... was quite attached to. Tony had bitten into his palm to avoid shouting the wrong name as he came, not that he had bothered to learn the man's name. The guy didn't know his name either so it was only fair.

Abby made a noise low in her throat, almost like she didn't believe him, and squeezed him harder in response. He gave a soft wheeze and shoved idly at her. "Abby, I can't breathe." He gasped out, adding an extra breathy note to his voice for effect. She released him looking scandalized, even as he grinned and patted her on the head, lightly tugging one pigtail and claiming no permanent damage was done.

He spun around in place, before looking between the three people gathered in the bullpen with a frown. "Where's Ziva?"

"Late," Agent Lee said matter of factly. "Its the second time this week." Tony frowned at the announcement, looking over at McGee who shrugged. "She's over an hour late, sir. That's unusual even for her." Lee continued, even as Tony walked over and perched on her desk.

"Probie, what did I tell you about worrying?" Tony asked her, looking down his nose at her, tone serious.

"That it's your job." She replied, causing him to grin.

"See? You're learning!" Lee didn't look convinced, worrying her lower lip between her teeth for just a moment.

"But... Sir I'm sorry but she's not answering her cell phone either" Lee pointed out, rubbing the thumb of one hand over the back of the other hand.

"Okay there is only one thing you need to know about Officer David" Tony pointed out, resting both hands on the knee closest to her.

"Never make her angry." Lee replied without missing a beat. That lesson had been quickly learned, the first time Lee had found herself on the sharp end of one of Ziva's knives.

"So technically, there's two things really. The other is... she can take care of herself." Tony told her, looking over at McGee and Abby to prove his point, while they both nodded emphatically.

It wasn't until an hour later that he started getting nervous. Ziva hadn't shown up, and she still wasn't answering her phone. He, McGee and Abby all took turns leaving her messages. This time it was McGee's turn. "Now I'm starting to worry," Tony murmured to his senior field agent, who – although didn't feel right as a right hand – was competent in ways that Tony himself had never managed to reliably feel throughout his time as Gibbs' right hand.

"You think she's all right?" McGee asked, more musing than expecting a real answer. Still Tony went rigid, leveling a glare at the agent.

"If she was okay, McSpeculative, she'd be here." He snapped, checking his phone and the time once again.

"The question is, what would Gibbs do in a situation like this?" McGee's words were soft, rhetorical, and entirely too cutting in their imagined accusations. Gibbs wouldn't have lost Ziva in the first place. They all knew better than to go dark on Gibbs. He walked back to his desk, adjusting his sleeves as he moved behind it, tapping at the keyboard for lack of anything else to do that would help belay his sudden burst of utter uselessness. These feelings were nothing new, having beleaguered him for years now, since he was a teen if he was being honest. The pressure to always be the best, the most competent, second to none – or only one if his father or Gibbs were involved – had been there ever since he could remember.

And this?

This felt like failure.

Failure was not, and had never been, tolerated.

"He'd find her Tony." The director's voice snapped him out of his thoughts from the stairwell, and he instantly turned to meet that gaze.

"I'm working on it Director!" Tony announced, resisting the urge to snap to a salute, but only just.

"Well work harder." Vance told him, as he surveyed the team, trying to get an idea of who was doing what, before his eyes settled back on Tony. " Metro Police just found her car on a sidewalk in Georgetown."

"Well..." McGee said, interrupting Vance's attempt to bore holes in all of them, but especially Tony, "Actually that's not so unusual when Ziva's driving."

"I know. I've heard the stories. However, the FBI doesn't usually concern themselves with traffic accidents." Vance nodded towards the elevator, as two men in suits stepped out.

Not for the first time today, Tony was glad he had on his own suit.

"You knew they were coming Director?" Tony asked, glancing at the staircase again. Vance just gave him a look and then subtly nodded at the space beside him. An invitation to join in the meeting. Because it was his team. Because Ziva had been 'lost' on his watch. He hated it when invitations felt like accusations.

Introductions were made. They made their way up to Vance's office. Tony and the suit who was supposed to be him got into a pissing contest. And then both were simultaneously thrown out of the office on their asses.

Honestly it wasn't unexpected.

So why did it hurt so damn bad?

Why did it feel like a dismissal of his abilities? An unspoken 'you'll never live up to my expectations'? A kick in the teeth?

Honestly he struggled to figure out what this felt like, after all every which way he tried to label it made it feel like Gibbs telling him off and leaving over and over again.

When Director Vance came back out and summoned them up to the door leading to his office, Tony took the stairs two at a time in his haste to be punctual.

"Director would you please tell Agent Slacks here -" He ignored the man's indignant outburst correcting his name, and continued "- That we will be handling this one in-house?"

Vance just fixed him with a bland look, before turning to the aforementioned FBI agent. "I just assured your Director that the FBI will be getting NCIS's complete cooperation in this matter." He turned to Tony now. "If Ziva attempts to contact you, or anyone else on your team, I want yout o notify both myself and Agent Sacks immediately."

"This is complete bull-" His curse was cut off with a sharp look and an even sharper statement.

"This is an order from your Director, Agent DiNozzo. Is that clear enough for you?"

Tony ground his teeth as he attempted to keep his features still. He knew his fangs and claws would pop if he wasn't careful. The last thing he wanted was an investigation into his humanity along with a missing agent and a pile of disappointments on him so deep he felt like he was drowning in them.

"Almost crystal, Sir." he spat in return.

As Agent Slacks informed him that he'd do his best to keep an open mind, Tony turned and started down the stairs, just barely avoiding stomping his way down.

"Oh and Tony," Vance called after him, causing him to turn on the stairs, looking back up at him. "About what you asked me earlier. What would Gibbs do?" Vance waited for his nod of acknowledgment before continuing, "Gibbs isn't here. You are." And with that he turned and entered his office, closing the door with a click that seemed to bounce around Tony's head.

Vance couldn't have made him feel worse if he had tried. He needed help, not a 'you're the only one I've got.' He needed... he needed Gibbs. And there was one person who knew where to find him. A deep breath, a square to his shoulders and he continued down the stairs. He had a mission now and he knew exactly what to do. It wasn't going to help his pride any, but it needed to be done.

One Kaf-Pow from the local gas station, and a black rose from the local flower shop later, and Tony was standing in Abby's lab, looking a mix of pleading and authoritative.

"I know what we need to save Ziva from this mess." He told Abby, handing her the rose and setting the Kaf-Pow on her counter. "And for that I need a phone number. I know you have it Abs."

The woman before him sighed, and wrote the number down on a scrap of paper. "You better know what you're doing Tony." She warned him. As if she didn't regularly talk to the person on the other end.

"Of course I do. I'm not some Probie like Lee." At least, he hoped he knew what he was doing. He patted Abby on the shoulder and clasped the number in his free hand, careful not to disrupt the careful fold hiding the digits. Spinning on his heel, Tony walked back to the elevator, stopping the machine between floors a-la Gibbs.

He stared at the number for a long time, before pressing them methodically into his phone and hitting call. When the voicemail message sounded, Tony sighed, both thankful and disappointed that he wasn't speaking to the person live.

"Hey... so I know I'm the last person you would want to speak to right now... But shit's really bad. Ziva's missing and wanted by the FBI. They think she's murdered some people and we don't know where she is. Vance knows I'm not you. Everyone knows I'm not you. Please Gibbs. We need you." The 'I need you' went unspoken. "Call me and tell me what to do. I know you're retired... but I wouldn't be asking if it was just about me." He let the phone call end there, hanging up and slipping his phone back into his pocket with a practiced ease.

He doubted the man would call. He left for good reason. So Tony needed to come up with a backup plan. And fast.