The organist stopped playing and Mr Travis began.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered…"

"I can't do this" Anthony said.

. . . .

No one in the congregation breathed. Everyone looked at Anthony including his lovely Edith. He looked at her, his agony plain in his eyes.

"What?" asked Robert, shocked.

"I can't do it. This is wrong."

"My dear chap…" Robert tried to reassure Anthony but there was no way he could have had any idea what Anthony was facing.

"No. I never should have let it get this far. I should have stopped it long ago. I tried to stop it." Anthony was clearly panicking now, his words tumbling out of him.

"I don't understand…" Edith began, taking Anthony's hand in hers.

"Edith! I can't let you throw away your life like this."

"No, I'm not throwing away my life. You are giving it to me, in all its multi-layered, kaleidoscopic glory. We're happy. We've battled the demons and won before, and together we'll battle them and win again, as often and for as long as it takes. Anthony, please…"

"But you are going to be happy. I pray that you are. But only if you don't waste yourself on me."

He took a step nearer to her.

"Goodbye my dearest darling, and may God bless you, always."

He let go of her hand and turned to leave her, the church, and any possibility of being happy or at peace ever again.

He had not gone two steps before he found his way blocked by the Dowager Countess. He tried to step past her but she was too quick for him, side-stepping so that she barred his way.

"Please let me pass, Lady Grantham" Anthony begged.

"No, Sir Anthony, I will not; and I don't think you are so desperate or so ill that you would knock down an old woman in your haste to jilt Edith."

Anthony's tears almost got the better of him at the use of the word.

"Lady Grantham, you yourself have told me in the past that you did not believe I was good enough for her." His eyes were pleading, but not for her to agree with him, she thought.

"You are more worthy of Edith and her love than any other man in England." Violet said the words seriously and deliberately, her eyes locked with his.

"You've read what I went through; I've lost my soul" Anthony whispered so only Violet could hear.

"The War may have endangered your mind and soul, Sir Anthony, and God alone knows what it cost you and the battles you have had to fight both then and since, but your heart…your heart is stout, true, and belongs to Edith forever. Am I right?"

Anthony nodded, not trusting his voice and only just controlling his emotions.

"Edith, come here please."

Edith joined her grandmother and the man she hoped was still her bridegroom. She had pulled her veil back so when Anthony looked at her, fear seizing him, he saw that she was wearing the ruby he'd given her the night before he left for the War.

…to remind you that you have my heart…

Softly, Anthony began to weep.

"Edith, I'm so sorry. You don't deserve me. I'm a wreck. Surely you can't…"

Edith stopped him.

"I love you, Anthony. I'll always love you. We are a part of each other, you and I."

A brotherly hand was placed on Anthony's shoulder…Tom's blue eyes full of concern and encouragement bore into him. Then he felt another hand on his arm…Matthew's smile and nod was full of confidence in his soon-to-be brother-in-law. Cora, Mary, and Sybil were supporting Edith, all of them looking at Anthony with acceptance and love.

Robert joined his mother, drawing her to one side.

"Mother, if he needs to leave, you should let him have that choice." It allowed Anthony the option to bolt if he wanted to, but it also gave him the knowledge and confidence that he had a choice, that he had power over the demons, just as Robert hoped it would.

Anthony chose to stay.

He faced Edith and took her hand as he knelt at her feet.

"My lady, can you forgive an old soldier his wounds? Will you marry me?"

Her tears falling, Edith smiled as she simply said "Yes".

The congregation sighed and muttered relieved endearments as Edith brought Anthony to his feet. The tension was broken, Cora redressed Edith's veil and the Grantham tiara once more, and Tom announced loud enough for all to hear "We'll begin again, please, Mr Travis."

The Vicar waited for quiet, then started once more.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here…"

Edith slipped her hand into Anthony's. He gripped it and no one thought any the less of them for breaking convention.

.

The nearer they got to the end of the ceremony, the quieter Anthony's demons became, as though the words of the holy rite of matrimony were killing them off one by one. When Mr Travis pronounced them man and wife the only sound Anthony could hear in his head was the pounding of his own heart.

They kissed gently, reverently, Edith took Anthony's arm and together they walked back down the aisle. When he heard Lady Allenby confirm to a friend that the drama had most likely been caused by Sir Anthony's shell-shock, he found he was almost glad that the secret was out and that he didn't care who knew it; especially when Edward Allenby added his own opinions.

"He got a DSC and a DSO, you know, for work in the Intelligence Corps. I've known him since we were boys. He always was frightening clever."

Thank you, Edward thought Anthony as he felt the first stirrings of renewed confidence budding within him.

.

"You had me worried there for a bit." Robert had strolled over to Anthony while an all female group was being arranged by the photographer, leaving the men nothing to do but watch.

"I cannot tell you how sorry I…" Robert stopped him mid-apology.

"Anthony, I know people who know people who can help with this sort of thing…shell-shock experts and specialists. I'd be very happy to contact them for you once you're back from honeymoon."

"That is very kind of you, Robert, not to mention very understanding. Thank you. I…I'll try anything for Edith's sake."

"And now the Bride and Groom please" requested the photographer. The wedding photographs, when they were sent out later that month, did not show a man and a woman divided by twenty years.

They showed a couple irrevocably and eternally in love.

.

The reception passed in a blur for Anthony. Tom put a glass of Champagne in his hand, and made sure that it was topped up regularly to provide Dutch courage, though not so much that Anthony became any more than merely tipsy. When he looked back at that day, Anthony was so very grateful to his brother-in-law for that simple kindness.

Anthony couldn't remember much of what anyone said to him either. He smiled and thanked everyone for their support in coming. Edith made sure that he didn't have to do anything more than that.

Sybil introduced some cousins to Anthony, saying how forward-thinking he was. "Sir Anthony is quite the radical, but tempered with common-sense. He's so much more likely to achieve real, lasting change than Tom and me because he works effortlessly and diplomatically within the system, and he takes everyone's feelings into account. We're all very proud of him."

Cora and Violet took it in turns to head off any of the more outspoken of their relatives who might have tried to be sympathetic to Anthony in too direct a way.

Anthony heard Mary telling Evelyn Napier how Anthony's estate was so much more modernised than Downton, and had been since before the War. "If Papa doesn't bring himself up to date soon, if he doesn't listen to Anthony, Tom, and Matthew, we'll all be in a pretty pickle."

The speeches were full of familial warmth and affection. Robert told of Edith's fortitude when Anthony was MIA, how she had spent the War tending those poor souls who came to Downton to recover from their wounds. Tom spoke of how Sir Anthony, though a nobleman in all things, including manners and the excellence of the brandy he offered lost souls like himself, looked past the trappings of class to see people as they truly were. He read out a telegram from Herr Klaus Steiner, Anthony's ward orderly, and how he thanked Baron von Strallan every day because he had made it possible for him to attend the university and make a new life for himself. Tom pointed out that such acts of kindness were the very bedrock upon which the nations could build peace. "Blessed are the peacemakers" Tom ended, proposing a toast to Major Sir Anthony Strallan Bart., DSO, DSC.

Anthony's speech was the shortest of all.

"To Lady Edith Strallan, the woman who found me frozen in sadness and fear and led me into joy, who waited for me while I served my country and who gave me back my life."

Before they left for Locksley, Anthony and Edith went down to the Servants' Hall, as they had agreed beforehand. They thanked all the staff for all their help in making their day so special and presented them all with a box of chocolates and a couple of Guineas each to spend on something nice in gratitude. Discreetly, Anthony also gave small wrapped presents to Mrs Hughes and Daisy. They contained beautiful enamelled brooches.

"My, my!" Mrs Hughes exclaimed mildly.

"He's so nice. I'm glad Lady Edith married him" Daisy agreed.

.

The drive back to Locksley was awkward, at least to begin with.

"My dearest, I think I should explain…what happened…" Anthony began.

"You don't have to, but if you want to talk about it, I'm here to listen. I'm your wife now, after all." She hugged his arm through hers closer to her.

"My lovely, forgiving Edith. I almost jilted you through sheer terror, and yet you pardon me with such grace. I don't know how I can bear it."

"My darling, my love…" but Edith couldn't find the words. Instead she leaned her head on his shoulder, pressing a kiss into the thick woollen fabric.

Anthony's small staff were lined up outside Locksley when their master and new mistress arrived.

"Welcome home, Lady Edith Strallan" Anthony said, still amazed that this was all real.

.

After a flurry of activity, including a conversation about when the honeymoon party would be leaving the day after, and when breakfast would be served, Anthony led Edith up the main staircase to the master bedroom. At the door, he stopped.

"I do want to tell you what made me…hesitate...today. I want to talk about it before we go through. I want to give you a chance to…"

"I am going to sleep with you tonight, Anthony, and every night from now on, no matter what you say." Edith's expression was sure.

"Thank you, my love. I was going to say, if you wanted to say anything to me, or tell me off before we go through. Illogical though it sounds bearing in mind how I've been and how I've acted, I knew you would not let me alone, and I don't want you to."

Edith blushed, and smiled at the same time. This was such a good sign.

"What frightened me was knowing that we couldn't mend today, I mean, if we came to regret it."

"You mean, if you regretted it, because I know I won't."

"I meant, if you regretted it…and, well, Lord Penrith said something about me being a younger man and more appropriate for you than him! It made me think what age the right man for you should be."

"Well, you are much younger than him. But Anthony, when are you going to realise that I love you, you. If you had been Matthew's age, I would have loved you. If you had been Penrith's age, I would have loved you. Your age doesn't matter. Am I making it clear? I'm not as good with words as you are."

"You are making so much sense, my darling, I don't know how I didn't see it years ago. I was terrified at the beginning of the ceremony; by the end I had no qualms at all. What I'm trying to say is that marrying you has helped so much. It seems natural and easy, as though beforehand I was climbing a very tall and treacherous mountain and almost fell just as I was reaching the top. But having conquered it, I find that the other side is gentle and nurturing and beautiful, and there was nothing to be afraid of at all."

Edith stared at him for such a long moment. Just as Anthony was about to ask if she understood, she put her arms around his shoulders and kissed him senseless.

After a few minutes she led him through into their bedroom. She stood before him and undid his cravat pin, placing it and the stud on the dressing table beside her. Anthony watched her mesmerised. Next she flicked the silk from where it had been neatly tucked under his waistcoat all day, and slowly untied it leaving it hanging undone around his neck. She glanced up at him with a look of untamed desire making him swallow hard, trying to control his emotions and his desire for this woman from running rampant. Edith gently undid his waistcoat buttons one by one quite deliberately, teasingly, but when she immediately began on his shirt buttons Anthony couldn't stop a groan escaping him. She moved to take his shirt from his shoulders causing him to recoil from her instinctively. She didn't withdraw her hands, and she didn't rush him. She waited patiently for him to trust her and relax which he soon did gazing into her eyes.

She held his gaze as she eased the morning coat from him. When she did the same for the waistcoat and shirt he closed his eyes in stunned disbelief that this was really happening; that he was being undressed in the most seductive fashion imaginable by the woman he had longed for, for so many years, the woman of his dreams.

Briefly, he thought this bliss would at the very least be interrupted as soon as she divested him of his shirt and saw the mangled flesh and the scars left by bullets and torture.

But he fought back against the thoughts. She loved him. We are a part of each other, you and I. He opened his eyes again, trusting her.

Edith saw his scars, remembered what she had read in her sitting room on Boxing Day, what he had sacrificed, and felt so much for him. It was one thing to read about what he'd been through. It was quite another to see the tangible proof of that pain. This man was truly lovely, the marks of his bravery made him only more so, and she loved him even more.

In fact, she couldn't resist him. She placed her hands on his naked chest stroking the defined muscles and his broad shoulders with a look of barely controlled lust. She was breathing through lips slightly parted and, god, how he wanted to kiss those lips. If he didn't very soon he thought he might melt from sheer want. Throatily, he moaned "Oh, Edith!"

She pulled him into a forceful embrace, her mouth hot on his neck as she whispered demandingly, pleadingly "make love to me, Anthony, make love to your wife. I want you so."

No man could have endured it. Anthony lost all semblance of control. He was no longer a gentleman, but merely a man deeply, hopelessly in love. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her with five years of pent-up passion, all propriety forgotten, all doubts conquered.

He drew back for only as long as it took to confess "I love you Edith. I adore you. I want you" with fire in his eyes and a voice full of need. He picked her up and laid her gently on the bed before claiming her lips again even more determinedly than before. His hands fell to undoing the simple fastenings on her dress. As it fell loose about her shoulders and chest he kissed every inch of skin as it became bared. She shrugged the silk so that she could stand and wriggle out of it and her underclothes, standing before him utterly exposed as he worshipped her with his eyes.

"You…you are so…" but his head wasn't functioning at all well. He looked up at her to say "You've stripped me of all gentlemanly control. I feel like I'm just a male animal, a rutting deer, and you are my doe."

"And your doe wants you!"

She reached over to strip him as naked as she. In her turn, Edith looked at Anthony with adoration. She'd never seen an unclothed man before, not even in the military hospital. He was magnificent, and he stepped towards her with fierce possessiveness.

"My Edith, my wife, my love."

"Anthony, my darling."

"Let me make you mine."

He dipped down to allow his mouth to worship her breasts, Edith moaned softly at the unexpected sensations. She dug her fingers into his back, and it seemed to set him more on fire. He took his place above her and murmured "tell me if I hurt you, my darling" and nudged himself into position at the gates of heaven. They lost themselves in each other's eyes as Anthony joined them into one; a sting came and went, and Edith relaxed into his embrace, feeling his ardour rising and taking her with him. Higher and higher until she fell apart around him and her soul took flight with his.

Nothing would ever come between them again.

"My love, my darling, sweet heavens! How I love you!"

"And I love you. We are safe now. Forever."

.

Little Sybbie was born to Sybil and Tom seven months later. There were complications, but thanks to Anthony, Matthew, and Dr Clarkson taking charge and getting Sybil to hospital quick enough, mother and child pulled through. In the coming years, Sybbie was joined by a sister and two brothers.

Five months after that, Mary gave birth to George, the next in line to the Earldom after his father, and the light of Mary and Matthew's life. George's brother, Anthony, came the year after, followed by little Violet.

Albert Robert Anthony Strallan, forever known as Bertie, was born a year after his parents' wedding. Anthony held his little son every day, talking to him, singing to him, and wondering at the miracle in his arms. Bertie grew fast, but he could only just keep ahead of his brothers Thomas and Matthew, and his sisters Amelia and Charlotte.

From living his life alone in silence, Anthony found that the older he got, the noisier his house became. And he loved it.

.

One night, after the children were all in bed, Edith found her husband outside looking at the stars. She put her arm in his as he smiled at her.

"Look over there where the Evening Star is rising. Soon the sky will be dazzling with stars, but the people in the ballroom won't see them. Why? Because they are too preoccupied with what's going on under the light bulbs and candles. Yet the stars undoubtedly are brighter, and more longer lasting; their beauty is far more powerful. No poet ever praised a light bulb. And not all beauty shines only in society, my lady."

She gazed at him still, with a strange, powerful, affectionate light in her eyes, just as she had at the Callendar Becketts' Ball.

"My time did come, my lord of Locksley, thanks to you. You rescued me."

"You returned the compliment, my dearest darling. You rescued me as well."

She slipped her arms around his middle and leaned to him resting her face on his chest. The floodgate that Anthony had opened that night so long ago had never closed, and this was a very good thing she thought.

Anthony laid his cheek on her hair, and settled his arms around her shoulders.

"I love you, Edith."

"I love you, Anthony."

THE END.

.

Thank you all so much for reading, reviewing, and sticking with me to the end. I hope you think I've taken bits of canon and put a few mistakes right! This is by far my longest story to date, so if you've got to the end, having read from the beginning, I really must thank you for your patience and stamina!